Newbies Nest

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Just stopping by to say goodnight!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nest. I was out of town for the weekend and occupied (in a good way!) so I was not online. We went skiing in Switzerland with another couple and it was a great time. This couple is very athletic and the boyfriend is a doctor, so AL (or the lack of) was not a problem.

Yesterday was tough. Hubs' mom is back in the hospital. Recently the doctors had found cancer on her spine which is causing her a lot of pain, so she's been in and out of the hospital for pain management for the past month or so. Today she will begin radiation treatments to attempt to reduce the pain so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this helps. But it looks like my new job will be to help be a caregiver once she is able to go home. Unfortunately she will no longer be able to bend over and carry heavy things. I don't mind at all... I told my husband that I could clean up the house, cook, run errands etc. But I'm a bit pissed that her husband doesn't seem to be stepping up more. Anyway... that's a whole other topic. I was so stressed last night after we left the hospital but I had to remain calm for my husbands sake. He is losing his mother so I need to think about him at this time. I'm praying that the radiation therapy goes well today.

I'm staying strong just feeling so sad. Things like this tend to really put me into a depressive mood. We are pretty much helpless at this point and just have to wait until the end. I wish there was more that I could do.

Thank you for listening to me vent. I'm NOT going to the AL today for comfort. I'm done with that.

Much love and strength to you all today. :upset:

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

...and much love and strength to you and your family, Mein.

I'm so glad that you came here for comfort - unlike the comfort you find in a bottle, ours never run dry, doesn't cost you anything and is guaranteed not to give you a hangover. But then, you know that!

Is your FiL not simply overwhelmed by everything? Perhaps be very specific about things that he could help with - he may simply not be able to think of anything useful to do.

Stay strong - and vent as much as you need to! :l:l:l

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

prayers your way Mein ... stay strong!

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

hugs to you mein.

i agree with dream, fil will be overwhelmed, possibly in shock. its great that he has you to help. if you can 'give' him something specific to do im sure he will be grateful for that.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all so much for the support. It means so much to have you guys today. The temptation is definitely there.

At this point in time, I believe my FiL is going coming out of his denial stage. After numerous bouts of chemotherapy and radiation, he always held the belief that "this time, it will work". He has been taken care of his entire life by my MiL (they have been married for over 40 years) so he never learned to do laundry, cook, clean... or even go to the grocery store. I am more than happy to help him when the time comes, but by help I mean to show him how to take care of himself. For now I'm just going to keep quiet about that and let the family deal with their emotions.

I hope you all are doing OK today.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

MS, that's a tough situation you have there but it is something that we all have to face at some point. Assuring your MIL's comfort is first priority, your FIL's feelings are important but secondary. I went thru it all with my parents years ago so I feel for you! Hang in there, stay strong :l

Sarah, your plan sounds good. Keep that weaning schedule going 7 keep moving forward

Had a small snowfall overnight, looks like just a few inches this time - thank goodness. I am so ready for summer, it's not even funny
Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!

Lav

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,

Mein, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Your strength is inspirational.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Mein I know how you feel, my mom went first and she did all those things...dad did OK for a while until the Alzheimers got so bad I had to move him to a place where folks can do those things for him. I drank my way through most of it and you know, it didnt help anything. Made it worse for me...so try to hang in there.
It is 41F here..woohoo...feels like a heat wave..took new dog out for a little walk in the back yard...snow is melting and he did pretty well. I know to take it slowly...
Going to get out of the house today for a while..need a change of scenery..

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! (probably not morning for a lot. Pacific time here.

Prayers and strength to you Mein.

Just finishing up my morning routine of hypno video, Kick the Drink, posting and breakfast. All this self care takes so much time! But I feel ready for the day now.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1628303 wrote:
I'm staying strong just feeling so sad.

It is sad, Mein, and it is so much better to actually experience our emotions. When we try to numb them, they're still there, eating away at us. -It is so much better to just get them out.

Drinking not only wouldn't really take away the sadness, it would add in layers of disappointment and regret. Staying AF because it is the right thing for you will make you able to support your husband and his parents. Drinking took away our strength even when it seemed to bolster us. You're getting yours back. I hope you are proud of yourself. We are. :l.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone. I've got to run to the grocery store now so I'm posting to keep myself strong. Not going near the AL! Going to only buy food and if I'm good, maybe a bit of frozen yogurt as a treat. I hate, hate, hate how we use AL as a crutch. I'm so ready to be out from under this burden. :upset:

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1628419 wrote:
Drinking not only wouldn't really take away the sadness, it would add in layers of disappointment and regret. Staying AF because it is the right thing for you will make you able to support your husband and his parents. Drinking took away our strength even when it seemed to bolster us. You're getting yours back. I hope you are proud of yourself. We are. :l.

This is so true, NS. The drink postponed the emotions, didn't get rid of them. It is interesting to see what comes uncovered as layer upon layer of emotions covered by alcohol are finally surfacing. Being sober has helped me discover ways to work through strong emotions instead of covering them up. Stay strong, Mein - you'll be so much more capable to get through all of this with a clear head.

Sarah - sounds like the beginnings of a great plan. What is your target date for being without alcohol? Here is some information about tapering off alcohol - some people have a hard time with it because once you have one drink the alcohol begins to take over. I have seen some people be successful with it, but it takes some strong will (and maybe your husband's help!) Here is the tapering site.

Happy Tuesday, Nesters. I am on vacation and will spend some of today lazing about and reading my book, and MAYBE some of today cleaning. Maybe. Feels good to just be a little lazy and indulge in reading around MWO, reading my book and thinking about what good food I'll eat. Normally I would have some degree of a hangover today as I would have celebrated my holiday by drinking last night. Thank goodness that's over, and I can truly enjoy the time off without a headache.

Congratulations, sweet Ava, on 80 days sober. An amazing milestone, as they all are. I hope you're feeling better enough to celebrate today!

Keep posting, everyone. Getting those thoughts out helps strengthen the resolve.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Evening, Nesters. Busy couple days here, had my scheduled confused and had to go out of town yesterday. Up at 4:45 this morning so I am pooped.

Mein, I lost my dad last year, and if I had been drinking, there would have been additional burden on the rest of my family, not to mention what it would do to me....super emotional and drama queen. Instead, i was PRESENT for all that was needed. When people needed me, I was there, i could drive people back and forth, I could THINK! Drinking would not have done anything but make a bad situation worse. Hang in there....you are doing great. We are all thinking of you!

I have picked up a cold dang it. I am pooped! Hope everyone is having an easy evening. Byrdie.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The day wasn't half bad after I cleared a fresh path in the snow for my chickens. They get crazy being cooped up for too long
These 5 1/2 month old hens are laying eggs already so all is going well!

Byrdie, sounds like you're burning the candle at both ends, take care of yourself

Mein, I hope you were able to stay away from AL. That bastard never helps us, just messes us up big time!

I hope everyone has a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav