Newbies Nest

[maji]

Newbies Nest

Dear All,

Thank you for the sharing, it is good to see people doing so well and reaching out despite the circumstances to try and test us.

Jane I am so sorry for your dog and you, I as I am sure many know how hard it is to lose an animal they give us so much. Love and strength to you.

Next Saturday I return to a small place I have that is a kind of summer quarters :H where I will be for the next eight months. I was there for four months last year and it was quite a release and change from my previous responsibilities of 19 and a half years for a fairly large house and family responsibilities.

The people at this place were very friendly and welcoming and I was glad of the company and the entertainment. Most of the people come down for weekends and holidays and they drink like there is no tomorrow!

I joined in of course, a lovely excuse to indulge. I vowed that over the winter I would transform and not go back to the drinking with this group, it will not stop me being friends with them and socialising.

After a few false starts over the winter I am close to 30 days and fully committed to this AF path.

Last night I dreamt that I had been drinking, I felt so angry with myself and in despair to have done so. I thought (in the dream) of ignoring the slip and posting number of days uninterrupted but could not align with this and the thought of Day 1 was too devastating! It took quite a while after waking up to realise that it had been just a dream. what a relief!

Maji

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Jane/Bis/ Bass/ all of you girls are troopers! So sorry to hear about flooding, dogs not well, dealing with anxiety, etc.

Today, wasn't a great day for me either. However, I am staying the course.

Well, that's a lie isn't it? yes it is. If I were staying on 'course' to 'taper' down I would have only had 2 drinks tonight ( per the program), but I had more than that. I still had less than 'normal', and the L-Glut helps, but I was stupid and didn't eat when I should have. Stupid me. There's no getting into details, b/c there is no excuse...I just didn't stick to the 'plan' tonight.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Just dropping in to wish everyone a wonderful AF Sunday

Jane, sorry to hear about your dog, they are special members of our families.
Hang in there & we'll be here for support :l

Sarah, sticking to your plan is the way to go.

Have a great AF Sunday everyone!
Lav

[briseus]

Newbies Nest

I made it through the night - with everyone's help here. Woke up early to watch the Canada/Sweden game - NOT hungover, drinking a green smoothie.
Day 12.

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

I'm finally going to try...again!

Hello Newbies,

I am new here and in huge need of support. I am in my 50's and for the last 10 years the drink has been sneaking up on me to the point of needing blood pressure medication.

I always loved wine, partied a lot when I was young, hardly drank at all when my kids were little (too exhausted!) and growing up (too busy and exhausted!)

As we got older, had more money, and more free time I am sad to say we started buying wine by the case--no need to run out to the store, you can always open another bottle! Plus you get that 10 percent discount!

And going out to dinner and drinking tons more wine, then come home and have a couple of nightcaps.

Whats scaring me is I am starting to not remember the ends of the nights. I keep trying to cut back, have quit cold turkey for up to 2 weeks, but always go back.

I could really use some encouragement! I am going to try to not drink today (Sunday). I have ordered some of the supplements and also am trying Declinol. I would be grateful for any response from anyone out there. Thank you so much. :h

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone.

:welcome: Crockettaa

Your story is very familiar to me and undoubtedly many here. I too am in my 50s and wine was my chosen poison. Always started with one glass but quickly escalated to a bottle, or more, a night. There were mornings I had to check the leftovers just to remember what I had for dinner to night before!

You have come to a wonderful place of support, knowledge, love and friendship. Today is my 33rd day AF (alcohol free) thanks to the strength I've found here.

Post a lot, read a lot and know we're all here to help each other.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Jane I am with you.
Bri good going.
Crockettaa :welcome: this place is amazing.
Dream so good to see you.

[NomoreJim]

Newbies Nest

Hello All
It's been a busy week. Had to do performance evaluations on 100 plus employees what a grueling process glad it is done. I wanted to do a 50 day post but was mentally fried with the evals. I had my first drinking dream a couple of nights ago and remember wondering in the dream what i was going to post thanks heavens it was a dream. I have noticed that I can actually feel myself getting better. My memory seems to be sharper and thoughts are more clear. I have actually been remembering some things that happened in the past (some that led me to drink) I can now deal with these issues sober. I have been able to get this far by reading here regularily. Byrdie you are my hero! I have had a few scary days but it seems like the post you put up on those days were written for me. THANKS! Went to a dinner last night where alcohol was available even had some people at our table who were drinking. My first thought was wow I'm glad I'm sober and not just trying to act like it! I actually didn't even miss or want anything to drink. Jane sorry to here about your dog they get to be a big part of the family most days I thing my dog is the only one who understands me. Hope everyone has a good day.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Nice work Briseus, BTW when someone gives me booze as a gift I give it away immediately or turn it down. As for pouring it down the sink what's the difference really, if it's in your gut it's gone and you're hammered, if it's in the sink it's gone and you're feeling good!

Crocketta you've come to the right place. Many of us are in our fifties, (although the crowd is varied) and turning our lives around. It is scary at first, AL has been our saviour (or so we think) and our friend. Truth is it's time to give AL the boot and find alternative strategies for coping. Start with day one, that's today. Get rid of the booze in the house and become accountable to someone (hubby?). Stock up on all the goodies you can. What's your idea of a nice AF drink? Hot apple cider with cinnamon? Chocolate milkshake? Smoothie with banana and strawberries? How about a treat? Chocolate? Icecream? You are allowed anything you want for the first while. Indulge. Reward yourself. Stick close, post lots, maybe start your own accountability thread? Think ahead to your more challenging times and make a plan. We're here, we'll help.

BTW I can't help this, I am so proud! Our Women and our Men won the gold for hockey! WOOOOOT!!!

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

bummer

Hello everyone...I haven't posted in a while so I am behind on everyone's journey. I made it to day 39 and my husband and I decided to go meet up with some friends at the bar. Well several beers and shots later I woke up and was thinking...NO NO NO...I don't want this...so I made it another week and decided that I was going to make margaritas or vodka cranberry. Well this went on for about four days and then I poured it out...I went a couple days AF then I decided I wanted my wine. Wine is my downfall...I can give or take a beer or other drinks but wine just has something on me that I can't let go of. So I think I have gone through about 4 small bottles and then got a big one. WHAMO...right back to where I was by the end of the night my husband and I were in a fight and I wanted to take off. Well I finally just went to my room and passed out. So needless to say...I am back to day 1 I really didn't miss drinking...well maybe once in a while a craving will sneak in, but then I wake up and feel so good. I noticed my anxiety went a way. I was able to concentrate, I enjoyed my family. That is what I want to feel...enjoyment, loving life, remembering the night before. Not this icky feeling in the morning and constant worry I was drunk posting on FB or drunk texting old friends that when I wake up I barley remember and can't understand why I would do that especially when I don't want those people in my life. This has to stop, for me. I know I can do it, I just need to DO IT!!!

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Honeysoup maybe it takes a few tries, but in the end it's the final quit that matters. So let's get started!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters!
Welcome aboard, Crockettaa!! We are glad you found us! Enough is enough, right? I never thought I would be able to live without AL, but here I am over 3 years later! Jump right in and start...you have nothing to lose and a LIFE to gain!

Just got back from visiting my step daughter (who lost her husband Jan 2). She is slowly but surely sorting thru things and coming to terms. She still cries every day and can't bear to clear his clothes out. They were married for 11 years and dated 3 years before that. She made mention that it had been 52 days since he died. That stuck me....she is counting days, too. She is letting go of a relationship, just like we are. It's hard to do on both counts, for many of us, our toxic relationships have gone on for 25 years or more. I was thinking on the drive home that 52 days is still really early in her grief recovery...and it's early for us, too. This process takes time! I know that I am a member of the instant gratification society....I want what I want now! But getting your sobriety and KEEPING it takes TIME. Will there EVER be a day when you don't LONG for this dam substance? Yes. Will it be tomorrow? Probably not. I tell you, this race is not for sprinters it's for the long distance runners....will you feel euphoric every step of the way? No, you won't, but I promise that every sober day you spend will be 1000 times better than Day 1 feels. Guilt/Shame/Remorse is a feeling I no longer have, and I haven't had it since Jan 20, 2011. We may have a lot of feelings but that one is left at the door when you quit. So no matter how bad you think you are being deprived, it really doesn't compare to G/S/R, does it? Those sober days up into a wonderful investment! Protect them as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Do not give in no matter what and no matter who.....AL will not take one more day of my precious life!
Hope everyone has an easy evening....Byrdie

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Bydrie - I'm so sorry. What a tragic story. My heart hurts.

Struggling mightily today. Wish I could be of more support to everyone. But glad to see you all here. I just want to sleep. Tomorrow will be better.

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1630501 wrote: Hey Nesters!
Welcome aboard, Crockettaa!! We are glad you found us! Enough is enough, right? I never thought I would be able to live without AL, but here I am over 3 years later! Jump right in and start...you have nothing to lose and a LIFE to gain!

Just got back from visiting my step daughter (who lost her husband Jan 2). She is slowly but surely sorting thru things and coming to terms. She still cries every day and can't bear to clear his clothes out. They were married for 11 years and dated 3 years before that. She made mention that it had been 52 days since he died. That stuck me....she is counting days, too. She is letting go of a relationship, just like we are. It's hard to do on both counts, for many of us, our toxic relationships have gone on for 25 years or more. I was thinking on the drive home that 52 days is still really early in her grief recovery...and it's early for us, too. This process takes time! I know that I am a member of the instant gratification society....I want what I want now! But getting your sobriety and KEEPING it takes TIME. Will there EVER be a day when you don't LONG for this dam substance? Yes. Will it be tomorrow? Probably not. I tell you, this race is not for sprinters it's for the long distance runners....will you feel euphoric every step of the way? No, you won't, but I promise that every sober day you spend will be 1000 times better than Day 1 feels. Guilt/Shame/Remorse is a feeling I no longer have, and I haven't had it since Jan 20, 2011. We may have a lot of feelings but that one is left at the door when you quit. So no matter how bad you think you are being deprived, it really doesn't compare to G/S/R, does it? Those sober days up into a wonderful investment! Protect them as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Do not give in no matter what and no matter who.....AL will not take one more day of my precious life!
Hope everyone has an easy evening....Byrdie

Thanks Byrdie:

Very prescient and timely...Well thought out verbiage. Yes..Its a long term investment and must be cultivated, weeded and tended to daily. Im feeling stronger and more incontrol of my feelings....and for once not thinking of it as a long haul...but rather...the haul!

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

crockettaa;1630336 wrote: Hello Newbies,

I am new here and in huge need of support. I am in my 50's and for the last 10 years the drink has been sneaking up on me to the point of needing blood pressure medication.

I always loved wine, partied a lot when I was young, hardly drank at all when my kids were little (too exhausted!) and growing up (too busy and exhausted!)

As we got older, had more money, and more free time I am sad to say we started buying wine by the case--no need to run out to the store, you can always open another bottle! Plus you get that 10 percent discount!

And going out to dinner and drinking tons more wine, then come home and have a couple of nightcaps.

Whats scaring me is I am starting to not remember the ends of the nights. I keep trying to cut back, have quit cold turkey for up to 2 weeks, but always go back.

I could really use some encouragement! I am going to try to not drink today (Sunday). I have ordered some of the supplements and also am trying Declinol. I would be grateful for any response from anyone out there. Thank you so much. :h

Hello and welcome here Im early 50's too and same problem...

Yaaaaaaa...Wine....What a perfect seduction..huh? I collected for years...up to 1200 bottles....and it came to the point where I was not collecting...but rather warehousing for price points and it became easy to slug it down...no control. How stupid.

I tasted a glass of nice Cab after being abstinent for about 60 days.....I hated the taste...it really tasted foul.....I now know that after 28 days...your taste buds change out 100%.

So?.....dont worry about missing the taste...You won't...and science has proved that. The next thing I dealt with was my emotional attachment to that feel of a lovely glass in my hand...swirling, anticipating,...romancing............again...its mind games and it is not truth.

The truth is--YOU want to quit...and you came here..GOOD JOB! Post lots, read everything you can and just get used to this idea as being a lifestyle change. The supps help a lot..especially l glute and 5htp.

We are all here to support and encourage you anytime......I have failed about 6-7 times and still at it with glee :welcome: