Newbies Nest

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, I have many pages to read thru this evening it seems as MWO got active again!!! I just wanted to share a few 'trigger' moments for me that I noticed over the last day or so, and just posting them in hopes it might help someone else.

Not eating: I realize this is fairly norm for an alkie, but with someone with Crohn's- eating has ALWAYS been an issue for me (even before my drinking started). Byrdie can probably relate. I eat dinner, and that's generally it and I eat 'late'. This is a habit itself that I MUST break. I'm going to have to force myself to eat something to stay full or semi-full throughout the ENTIRE DAY.

TV; Sounds odd right? Not for me, and I'll tell you why. Hubby records quite a few shows that we both enjoy and likes to play them back to back after we watch our normal programs. He does this, because he goes to bed much earlier than I. He wants to watch and then get them off the DVR. I want to watch these shows as well, so I PUT OFF cooking or eating until those shows are done. Instead, I drink a couple of beers or whatever. I"M NOT FULL.

Emotional TV: Yep, I know...it sounds crazy. But with my personality I get 'emotionally' involved with images, stories, plots or otherwise. I cry at sad commercials, and have since I was a child (esp Christmas...oh brother!). I cry at American Idol, the Voice, or get anxiety or other emotions watching movies or other shows. Again, getting emotional also causes me to 'wait' to eat. Believe it or not, however, feeling emotion is comforting for me. It actually makes me 'feel' like I'm 'growing' somehow. I feel the same way about music. On the other side, it also causes those emotions which bring up the past (painful past) so I get depressed or anxious again, and thus turn to AL.

It's a vicious circle. I totally realize I need to add to my plan of being AF, b/c if I don't address these issues, then I set myself up for immediate failure. There's is nothing I can do about my personality type...I am alien after all, but I need to account for these issues that I noticed 'triggered' more use of AL than what I planned on my tapering plan...if that made any sense.

Just needed to get that out here...will read back shortly...gonna eat first LOL.- Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1630726 wrote: Morning, Nesters!
Available, how much is that doggie in the window, arf! arf! What a cute avatar! Do you know how much it messes with our minds when people change avatars? Bahaha...

Welcome Petrelhead! You have landed in a great spot if you are serious about getting your AF wings. It is amazing that we all live in a culture where drinking is not only accepted, but WE as nondrinkers are nearly ostracized! When I came in 4 years ago, I thought 'How can I stop? I live in a beach town? Our welcome sign has a DRINK on it!" Then I see folks like Little Beagle who lives in New Orleans...nuf said about that...then the aussies with their drinks...the Irish with theirs and so it goes, it's just everywhere and that's all there is to it. The good news is that it's do-able and you've got proof right here! It's a choice as you what you drink....and I choose NOT to consume AL. I honestly think this thing is coming full circle, too. With the headlines reading about someone overdosing and their battles with drugs and AL I believe that us non drinkers are becoming the cool ones. Being the nondrinker now doesn't get me looks of disdain it gets me looks of jealousy....'how does she do that?' I know many of my friends 'need to cut down' but the truth is that there's just no cutting down....it has to be stopped completely. The person you mentioned who stopped for 12 months...I'm just reading between the lines here, but if she started back after that, around here we call that a relapse! Phillip Seymore Hoffman had quit for drinking for 23 years and once he started back he picked up where he left off. Same with Robin Williams, he quit for 20 years, had one airline bottle of whiskey and BAM. You only get one brain, and it knows where you've been! There is NO amount of time that will rewire addiction...so the easiest and quickest way to do this is to get quit and STAY quit! Anything else just prolongs the agony! One drink isn't going to take off any rough edges, it's going to create more. One drink isn't all you need, the NEXT one is what you are worried about. Cut off it's life source! Starve this things and you will be able to live with it! We are so glad you found us! Stick close, post whatever you are thinking and we'll be right here to help!

Crockettaa, great to see you this morning. Make this your Day 1. I wished and hoped for a long time that I would get sober, but hope isn't a strategy...I had to make a plan as to how I was going to do this... Job one is getting ALL THE AL out of the house. If your spouse drinks, ask them to get it out of your space. Really, if drinking isn't a problem for them, they won't mind. Make today your day 1, it's never going to be any easier to quit than right now. There will always be a wedding or a birthday or mardi gras or a day with a y in it. Next week this time, we'll be mooning you! (a prize for 7 days!!)

Brisius. here is YOUR moon!
:moon:
The worst is behind you!! Keep up this AF streak and you'll never be sorry! We're so glad you're here!!! Well done!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday! Make the most of today!! Byrdie

HOLY MOLEY!!! I'm c & p this into my notebook, Byrdie. You always have the right words at the right time. Thank YOU!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Welcome crocketta and Petra! I'm new to this as well. Maybe we can help each other???

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters

Cool in my part of the Nest - the wind feels like autumn...

The clock isn't quite right, but the coffee is good


Sarah, well done on recognising the triggers - have you any plans on eliminating/reducing them? Being hungry is a buggie for me - but, once you're not taking in Alcojoules, you can do a LOT of eating without taxing the bathroom scale. And don't be too worried about healthy eating initially - halfway healthy is a good compromise.

Rahul, I hopeDay 4 goes well for you. Yes, those drinking buddies: we actually wanted to play with our best buddy Al, the drinking buddies were just stage props. There are many opportunities to have fun without Al - I'm sure the children will appreciate having you as a playmate.

Marylou, I leave the mention-everybody-by-name posts to Ava and Pav. Us mere mortals have to be more modest :H And it looks as if Jane is going to join the duo...

Crocket, I really can't remember whether I've said :welcome: to you or not (don't think so) - but welcome! You too,Better (and I loved your Amsterdam story!) Petrel, I saw that you and Ava chatted up a storm - you've been taken under the wing by a strong and very funny old bird (sorry Ava, but you know what I mean). You mentioned doing marathons again - one of the Undies has just completed a triahtlon - shows you what sober can do...

On the witching hour: mess up your routine as much as possible. I used to treat myself to a bath with lots of bubbles and candles. Take a stroll through the neighbourhood (unless you're slap bang in the middle of that polar vortex again). Window shopping? Real shopping? Spoiling yourself or a loved one - two-legged or four-legged, it doesn't matter. As somebody mentioned, K9 moved her furniture around to break that association between a place to sit and a place to drink.

Have to get going - have a lovely AF Tuesday, Nesters!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

DreamThinkDo;1631077 wrote: MAE Nesters


Sarah, well done on recognising the triggers - have you any plans on eliminating/reducing them? Being hungry is a buggie for me - but, once you're not taking in Alcojoules, you can do a LOT of eating without taxing the bathroom scale. And don't be too worried about healthy eating initially - halfway healthy is a good compromise.

Thank you DTD for noticing my comment, and to answer you.. "no". Obviously, eating IS on my list, and it has been. It was in my initial 'plan', but I failed at that already... It's funny b/c I love to cook and eat (and so does hubby and son), I just tend to eat AFTER I had a few drinks. Not sure why...other than a really bad habit developed by Crohn's.

As to the rest...your guess is as good as mine. Nobody that I know of has ever been able to figure out my personality/emotional side other than determine I was an INFJ.. While my hubby 'understands' what I need/want and we get along great, he doesn't know how to fix 'stupid'. He doesn't know how to 'fix' my emotional state. It's funny b/c I have to read the 'portrait of an INFJ' on occasion to remind myself why I am the way I am. Ok, it's not funny, and I feel like I'll bring the board down if I say anymore.

I will try to find a way around this huge mess I have created for myself, and what God has dealt me...just like everyone else.

To be honest, I feel like until I wrap my head around this crutch; I'm of no help to this board other than saying 'welcome and good luck'. I realize I have nothing to offer other than that at this juncture until I make the total decision to be AF for at least day 1. Today...isn't that day.

Lastly, I want to say..I'm not a whiny, drama queen...I hate that. I just simply recognize my own feelings, and truly am reluctantly sharing there here in hopes to get help.

-Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Need- welcome!!!

[maji]

Newbies Nest

Hi, welcome to new members and thanks for all the sharing of experiences here.

I arrived at 30 days! I wanted to say thank you for the acknowledgements in the roll call thread, and Pav suggested a speech.

Don't worry this won't be a speech! I found that posting daily first thing in the morning in the roll call thread was a really important part of getting to this point. The thought of not being able to do that far outweighed any desire to rush out and buy wine, when that happened I found something else to do even if it was going for a drive, mind you the price of fuel here it would be cheaper to run the car on wine!

Apart from knowing that I really wanted to stop and escape the utter insanity of being trapped in that ridiculous cycle of doing something I did not want to do that then created a spiral of anxiety guilt self loathing depression and fear followed by yet more insanity leading to more of the same. Well we know the drill.

Coming here helped to alleviate the guilt and shame, and then I was able to become the observer of myself and this observer stance took away the personal aspect of it all that was helpful to me.

Anyway, thanks to all for the encouragement and encouragement in return to all on this shared journey.

Maji

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

inkele: inkele:
Jane has
50 sober days!
inkele: inkele:

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

:jumpwow: :jumpwow:

maji
30 AF days

:jumpwow: :jumpwow:

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, the boards are made up of so many different people - we have the wise old birds, the lunatic Linda (Ava posters), LB who in her very quiet way drips with pearls of wisdom, NoS who snatches chocolates bars from our hands (not quite, but I think she sometimes wishes she could), you are the meeter and greeter - every poster and every post here are valuable. Don't sell yourself short - and once you have your plan sorted out and start posting about your progress, you'll contribute even more to the boards!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

"I am so thankful for angels on errands of mercy who push and prod and poke the willing into being a beautiful army so they can be an answer to someone else's sincere prayer for help. I'm thankful for so many living angels who have joined me on a mission of mercy!"

Just read that on FB and thought it applied to you folks. Thanks

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Maji and Jane- HUGE congrats!!!! Maji? any tips on how u started day 1?

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi all thanks for the support.

Jane27, stubborn can be very powerful when focused positively. I guess we have to want this badly enough. I hope I'm truly ready this time. I hope we all are.

Pavati, I'm glad to see you can use stubbornness to help you get through!!

Rahul, nice and moving posts. We often need to get the bad influences out of our life. Sometimes they're people we think are friends. But you need to prioritize your wellbeing, health and longterm happiness. Stay strong.

Sarah42. Hi, and yes would love to share our experiences to get through this together. I used other forums like this to get through another issue in my life some years ago ( my ex wife's infidelity, her personality disorder and our eventual separation). That was an awful experience which I'm still moving on from, but I don't want alcohol to be the answer anymore. ...........these forums are a fantastic help. It's great to get help and give it.

DreamThinkDo, thanks. I used to do triathlon too many years ago. Who knows, maybe one day again. The marathon is this years focus.

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to my new fellow nesters! Felt great to wake up without hating myself today, even though it's only day two. HUGE congrats to Maji & Sarah!

I'm new but there are 2 Sarah's I see. So I will have to get everyone straight in my head. I don't know all the lingo yet but I do know Crohns is a hard battle & does crazy things to your head--watched one of my son's friends struggle when he was diagnosed at age 13. His whole world was turned upside down. He couldn't do any of the sports he loved to play with his friends, was afraid to leave home for periods of time in case he had an episode, etc. So my heart goes out to you.

Slept ok last night, it helped to take my antihistamine before I went to bed. Woke up early but who cares? I'm ready to start my day & don't need to fake it in front of my teenage son (last one left at home, besides hubby)

I don't know about anyone else but I decided to take day 1 on when I had been trying to cut back for months & failed. I took those "do you have a drinking problem" quizzes a million times & finally realized I could say yes to every question-- blackouts, drinking alone, drinking before social events, mystery bruises, can't stop once started...and finally the self-loathing. I finally got 100% :H. And of course, my father was a huge raging alcoholic who died in his 50's and never got to see his grandchildren. I swore I'd never turn into that...but I had.

So enough with my story, I don't want to be boring! Give it a try Jane if you think you're ready. The people here are helpful & supportive. We can all watch out for each other:h

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

Oh & Petrel, good luck with the marathon training! I love running & any outdoor exercise. Keep us posted!