Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters

CONGRATS AVAILABLE!!!
90 awesome AF days :yay:
Get yourself something nice & be proud of your accomplishment!

Sarah, your thinking is exactly where mine was the day I decided to stop bullshitting myself & just take the plunge into AF-land! Good for you!!! Stay in touch with us, we're here for support.

MS, comfort yourself with food for now, that's OK. The need to do that won't last forever
Your MIL's condition sounds pretty serious & I wonder if anyone has spoken to her about hospice care? The retired nurse in me comes out from time to time around here. I wish you all comfort & safety.

Crockettaa, stay close to the nest today & we'll help you through your day one

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Available...90 days (+/- a minute or 2) is big doings around here! Please accept this very small token of our appreciation for you:
:crowned:

You are the Queen! Your posts are written word pictures. Your gift of expression is so appreciated here, I hope you know that. 90 Days in our world is huge. It DOES take work, and you are so right, when I first started, I'd see the long timers fly in and say how great being AF was....but they didn't bother to stick around and tell me how the hell to do it! I resented many of them....jealous of their days. I wanted to be one of them, but I just couldn't do it, it was TOO HARD for me. HOW did these others, who seems no better than I, manage to go AF?! You are so right, it is your mindset. It takes 100% commitment. There is no HOPING or I'LL TRY to do it. You have to get into the zone and say I WILL DO IT! Failure is not an option! This is what changed in us, I believe! That change in thinking! Failing to plan is planning to fail, as I am reminded in my sales job (just about every day, ad nauseum). Thank you for staying here in the nest! You walk the walk, and talk the talk! Well done on your big accomplishment!!

It was I who never drank harder than the year I tried to moderate! I was going to moderate or die trying, it nearly worked, too. I almost died. It's like when I allowed myself to finally drink I made up for lost time or something. It reminded me of when someone is trying to save a drowning person, and often the rescuer gets taken down, too...so intense was my grasping that I drank harder during that year! It was awful. No one could have told me, tho. I had to learn it for my hard-headed self. I'm stubborn that way, nobody's gonna tell ME what I can and cannot do!(head bobbing back and forth) I'll show THEM! (insert 'on yer ass' icon here). As the Aussies say, I was pear shaped?!!!! Anyway, stopping AL and staying stopped has been the single best thing I've done for myself in 20 years. If you have one goal to improve your life? Getting AL out will go a long way in achieving that in every aspect. Being healthier, smarter with money (I save at least 10 bucks a day by not drinking), lost weight, hair is shiny, my nose is wet....ooops, that's my dog. Every New Year's Resolution you can make can be achieved by stopping AL!! It's uncanny! That ONE thing!! It is also uncanny the way if we ask for our spouse's help in keeping AL out of our space, it is no big deal to them. This is mind boggling. How can it NOT be a big deal? To people who don't have a problem like us, it ain't no big thang. Go figure. It's like if NoSugar asked me to keep the Kale out of the refrigerator, I'd have NO trouble doing that! :H:H:H

We will be right here for you on this Day 1! Stay occupied! Stay close and stay sober! You can do it!! Hope you have an easy day! Byrdie

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Available, Congrats on 90 days!! What an accomplishment. Thank you for sticking around and sharing!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all:

Ava - I'm not celebrating until you reach 90 on MY time which is in 17.5 hours, so you'll get an extra long party that you deserve.

It wasn't until I changed my thinking that I could quit either. No alcohol. No way. Not even if I was anxious, sad, depressed, camping, celebrating, cooking, at a wedding. None. No, thank you. The reason that thinking was a miracle is that it completely stops the mind games. You don't have to wonder - is today the special day? When I was quitting I actually called my doctor because my BP was so high. She told me to calm down, drink lots of fluids and it would balance itself out, and lo and behold it did. I am telling you this because she did NOT tell me to drink alcohol, as I had done for myself several times before that. She didn't tell me to drink alcohol to sleep, or to quell my anger. She would NEVER tell me to drink alcohol as medicine. That was a lie I was telling myself.

And the fear kept me from making that commitment to myself.

Grab on to the tail feathers of those very successful long-term abstainers, close your eyes and jump right in. I know I did, and have never looked back.

Have happy Thursdays, everyone, Friday if you're upside down! That's what Dreamy likes to call Thriday.

xo

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Just for you, Byrdie: Mountaineers Books: Fresh Pantry: Kale (eShort) :H.

Marylou123;1631895 wrote:
I also got to the point where I pretty much wouldn't say anything about anything for fear of the dreaded "we talked about that yesterday, don't you remember?"This is how AL hijacks us -- we are so out of control that the only way to hide the problem and maintain the semblance of control is to be quiet and reveal nothing. It is impossible to even just chat because of what might become apparent. Heaven forbid we express an opinion! Can't do that because we might not remember what it was. It was so much easier, at least for me, to shut up. AL isolates us enough as it is and then demands that we be loyal only to him. It is about the most toxic, all-consuming relationship imaginable.

Pavati;1631969 wrote:
And the fear kept me from making that commitment to myself.

That fear seems to be the thing that stops us from deciding once and for all to take the option of a drink out of every occasion.

Fears can't be rationalized so like Pav said, just believe. Like most fears, reality isn't nearly as bad as we think. There is no way all of us with any AF time behind us are sticking around here so we can trick you into trying something that is impossible or will hurt you. We're here because once you've made it out and realized that it was so much easier than you thought it would be, and the results so life-changing, it is impossible not to want that for others who are in the same self-constructed prison.

You are the prisoner and the warden. It is totally in your power at any moment to decide to be be done. Make the choice, throw away the metaphorical key to the liquor cabinet, and live your life. People here will help if you let us.

xx NS

[Needtogetbetter]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. I'll read back over everyone's posts and respond more personally in a bit. I had kind of a rough night. I've had some abdominal pain in the last few days, and am worried. I just don't know if my organs have final had it, if it's anxiety, or whatever. I actually got up, showered and packed a bag for the hospital. But in the need help thread (along with my husband) I was convinced to put off the ER, and find a family doc. I did just that online, and will call when they open at 9.
Scared of what they'll find, but if there's bad news, I'll get it at one point or another.
Love and strength to you all!

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

The dreaded "we talked about that yesterday, don't you remember?"

I once got a text from my wife the next day along the lines of "I just bought the tickets" and I had no idea what tickets she was talking about, and I was too embarrassed to ask. I had to wait several nervous days until the tickets arrived to find out what was going on. Another time she hands me the phone and my brother-in-law who is a race car mechanic is on the line and he starts talking about the big wreck the other night and which driver's at fault and all that. I don't watch racing, so I have no clue what he's talking about or why he wants to vent to me about it. I guess I ended up seeing the wreck on the news and wanted his opinion on the matter.

Glad those days are over!


Good job on 90 days available!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Ava, only 10 more days and then you can play with the grown-ups! Congrats!

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Oh, yes, the "Don't you remember? I told you this, we talked about it." I
am forgetful enough as it is! I don't need alcohol to make things worse!

Congratulations to all the 90 days people!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1631928 wrote: . Will-power will get you a day or two. Ava, and others who are doing this, has changed her brain - how she views AL and how she views herself. It takes planning, and effort, and vigilance.
!

Nosugar, you are so right. And this is eaxtly what I am working on this days. What I have seen quitting Short term is easy but quitting long term needs a complete attitude change. How we view Al is to be changed. If I AK about fashion back in 70s bell bottom of men as fasionable . we used to see bell bottoms in a different way then the way we see it now.

I am Working on rewiring my brain and making it realize in every situation y I am so good without AL. How life is just great without AL.

I know I have not mastered it yet but no sugar your wisdom will help.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
WooHoo Available...congrats on 90 days....so proud of you!!!
My darn laptop had a total brain fart this morning....couldnt remember anything...I think I have everything restored.....I need to look around for a new one or maybe a tablet...I need a real keyboard as I cant type on my phone or tiny tablet...
Went to a yoga class this morning too..it was wonderful ME time.....need more of that...

[Needtogetbetter]

Newbies Nest

Hi, me again.
Congrats to all the 3, 4, 5 day folks, Available--90 days, huge congrats!
Crock, you've been in my thoughts, and I'm glad you didn't have a worse experience on the tready. Day 1, but you've shown you can push on. a big hug!
Mein, I'm so sorry about your MIL. I send her and you my best wishes. An I wouldn't worry about the food. Look at all the calories in AL!
Dots, so happy for the good results.
And I'm with everyone on eyebrow threading. Lord, that's rough
As for me, I'm still having pain, but I'm not otherwise sick. No vomit, fever, etc. I'm waiting for a callback from the Doc office I chose to see if they can get me in at 9am tomorrow. For today, I've had 2 units and food since 4 am, so my blood will look seriously wonky. I found some Vistaril I had leftover from my grandmother's death a bit ago, so I can use that for anxiety today. I'm quite familiar with how it works and feels.
Love and hugs to all xo

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATULATIONS AVAILABLE!!! THAT IS HUGE!!! We are so proud of you! :l

To me, tapering or moderating is just dragging out the pain. When was I ever satisfied with 3-4 beers? Never, that's when! Many come to MWO with the dream of someday moderating, but the truth is, if you've sought out a website to help you quit (or cut down) drinking, you more than likely are not a "normal drinker". Once you realize that, the easier it will be. Like Byrdie said, she never drank HARDER than when she was tapering. Same here. When I had a quit date in mind, the days leading up to it were pure hell. Talk about not remembering what happened the night before. Scrambling for the phone, computer, checking the car for dents....ugh. By not drinking, you never have to go through that again. It's not that you CAN'T drink...it's that you don't HAVE TO drink anymore! That is freedom.

Hang in there Newbies...you can do this, and we can help!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Rahulthesweet;1632028 wrote: we used to see bell bottoms in a different way then the way we see it now..

I love the imagery, Rahul! Visualization is a great tool to use. I've played out in my mind several upcoming events, seeing myself casually turn down a drink and go about having fun... And even feeling kind of cool ... if it's good enough for all those medal-winning Olympians, it should be good enough for us!

Next time you're looking at a bottle of booze longingly, picture yourself hanging out with this guy:


Are you sure you really want to do that :H:H:H???

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1631953 wrote: Good Morning, Nesters!
Available...90 days (+/- a minute or 2) is big doings around here! Please accept this very small token of our appreciation for you:
:crowned:

You are the Queen! Your posts are written word pictures. Your gift of expression is so appreciated here, I hope you know that. 90 Days in our world is huge. It DOES take work, and you are so right, when I first started, I'd see the long timers fly in and say how great being AF was....but they didn't bother to stick around and tell me how the hell to do it! I resented many of them....jealous of their days. I wanted to be one of them, but I just couldn't do it, it was TOO HARD for me. HOW did these others, who seems no better than I, manage to go AF?! You are so right, it is your mindset. It takes 100% commitment. There is no HOPING or I'LL TRY to do it. You have to get into the zone and say I WILL DO IT! Failure is not an option! This is what changed in us, I believe! That change in thinking! Failing to plan is planning to fail, as I am reminded in my sales job (just about every day, ad nauseum). Thank you for staying here in the nest! You walk the walk, and talk the talk! Well done on your big accomplishment!!

It was I who never drank harder than the year I tried to moderate! I was going to moderate or die trying, it nearly worked, too. I almost died. It's like when I allowed myself to finally drink I made up for lost time or something. It reminded me of when someone is trying to save a drowning person, and often the rescuer gets taken down, too...so intense was my grasping that I drank harder during that year! It was awful. No one could have told me, tho. I had to learn it for my hard-headed self. I'm stubborn that way, nobody's gonna tell ME what I can and cannot do!(head bobbing back and forth) I'll show THEM! (insert 'on yer ass' icon here). As the Aussies say, I was pear shaped?!!!! Anyway, stopping AL and staying stopped has been the single best thing I've done for myself in 20 years. If you have one goal to improve your life? Getting AL out will go a long way in achieving that in every aspect. Being healthier, smarter with money (I save at least 10 bucks a day by not drinking), lost weight, hair is shiny, my nose is wet....ooops, that's my dog. Every New Year's Resolution you can make can be achieved by stopping AL!! It's uncanny! That ONE thing!! It is also uncanny the way if we ask for our spouse's help in keeping AL out of our space, it is no big deal to them. This is mind boggling. How can it NOT be a big deal? To people who don't have a problem like us, it ain't no big thang. Go figure. It's like if NoSugar asked me to keep the Kale out of the refrigerator, I'd have NO trouble doing that! :H:H:H

We will be right here for you on this Day 1! Stay occupied! Stay close and stay sober! You can do it!! Hope you have an easy day! Byrdie

Such a wonderful ....AND ACCURATE post you write Byrdie. Thank you and a big congrats to you Available. 90 days IS a big deal and you must be proud. The words above ring soooo true with me...once the mindset has its shift?...the battle ends...you get comfy with the new YOU...and you start walking the walk. Its not a trudge by any means...its just a mindful new way of looking at things. There is a new book released a few weeks ago entitled Recover...written by Stanton Peele.....He says some amazing things to help your mind relax through the process...certainly helpful for me.

Recover!: Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The PERFECT Program [TM]: Stanton Peele, Ilse Thompson: 9780738216751: Amazon.com: Books

Anyways......I wish all here a lovely day.....and encourage anyone who is shy, timid, nervous and anxiety filled to read---read---read.....and ask questions like heck!

This forum is more anonymous than AA...and quite effective I would say.