Newbies Nest

[Needtogetbetter]

Newbies Nest

I forgot to address the taper thing. For me, it would be unsafe to cold turkey. I was told that by a previous doctor. A visit to the new one will possibly (make that likely) end up in a hospitalization. Scary, but sick or dead is scarier.
Best to all

[TJAF]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1632033 wrote: CONGRATULATIONS AVAILABLE!!! THAT IS HUGE!!! We are so proud of you! :l

To me, tapering or moderating is just dragging out the pain. When was I ever satisfied with 3-4 beers? Never, that's when! Many come to MWO with the dream of someday moderating, but the truth is, if you've sought out a website to help you quit (or cut down) drinking, you more than likely are not a "normal drinker". Once you realize that, the easier it will be. Like Byrdie said, she never drank HARDER than when she was tapering. Same here. When I had a quit date in mind, the days leading up to it were pure hell. Talk about not remembering what happened the night before. Scrambling for the phone, computer, checking the car for dents....ugh. By not drinking, you never have to go through that again. It's not that you CAN'T drink...it's that you don't HAVE TO drink anymore! That is freedom.

Hang in there Newbies...you can do this, and we can help!!!

K9

On a higher plane you are correct but, at least for me, I really can't drink. Even a sip ends with a bottle and that's only because I have likely passed out. Choosing not to drink is freedom for sure and making that choice may seem daunting at first but that's just your Alkie Brain F--king with you. What I have found after 7 months is that I don't have to think about the "Mecca" of sipping a glass of wine at dinner as if that is some sort of perfect world. It's just a drink nothing more!

Newbies you really can do this and folks here can help...all you have to do is ask and/or read.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1632062 wrote: Mein, When I try to envision myself at a concert, the panic of how to stay drunk leads me to imagine a machine that flows booze to me thru a tube. Not in a medical way, or in a bad dream way, in a UTILITY WAY, because I hate when big cups of beer is/are the only option. All that burping, peeing and feeling full. Too much damn work.

Stu, Your post yesterday reminded me of a time when I was shopping for sundresses with a friend when she pointed to a rack of clothes in the distance and said, "don't follow me, I'm going over there to fart." I laughed, said OK and turned to go in another direction. Minutes later, she had caught up with me in the DKNY section and told me that we needed to go to the 4th floor "immediately". Immediately seeming kind of urgent in light of the fact that we'd just gotten there, I asked the natural question, "Why now? What's on 4?"

"Lingerie" she said. "I need a new pair of underpants."

It was a SHART!!! OH MY!!! :H

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1632079 wrote: Feel scatterbrained today. Spent more than an hour writing a post that went everywhere and nowhere. Left me feeling crummy. I also feel like something is bothering me, and I don't know what it is. I figure its safer to post something about what's going on with me, than nothing.

Just typing it out probably helped you, Jane, although I'm sorry you didn't feel good when you were done. I sometimes type out big posts and then think, is it going to help anyone to read THIS ?? Sometimes it probably isn't so I don't post it but at least I've brought some things out for me to work on. So, that time isn't really wasted. If you do think of something that you'd like some input on, feel free to just put it out here :l.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

:H:H SHART! :H:H I hope you didn't leave a trail to the 4th floor!

Jane - All of the things you are "worried" about are pretty normal. The world won't end if the house is messy or you don't talk to anyone today. IF you've forgotten something, it can be rescheduled (I'm sure you haven't though). We ALL feel fat sometimes, but isn't fat better than hungover? Spacey and unmotivated is me on a typical weekend...you saying there's something wrong with that? LOL :H

Just try to relax. Get through this day. We're here for you :l

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1632097 wrote: Thanks NS. I don't know what the deal is. Tried writing down whatever came to mind and came up with the list below which was effective because I succeeded in shaming myself into getting my ass out of bed.
Thanks for responding. xoxo
PS Like *that* your post made me feel a bit better. I think the fact that you acknowledged me, made me feel less loss & disconnected.

Anxious re still in pj's with unmade bed. A2 & babysitter getting home shortly.
Feel fat.
House is messy.
Feel spacey.
Unmotivated
Sense of urgency not sure what it is- like I'm late for or behind on something
Don't feel like talking to anyone
Cheeks are chewed up and raw
Something is missing
Don't feel like sharing space with other people
Having trouble rationalizing

I had many of those feelings myself last week. The thing is, people who have never had a sip of AL feel like that sometimes, too.
I allowed myself to wallow in it - probably for a couple days too long.

How do you usually handle this kind of situation?

I try to follow the guidance "Do what you would like to be doing if you weren't depressed". Sometimes feelings do follow actions.

Don't beat yourself up for not always feeling cheerful and upbeat about your life. Not drinking is really great, but it doesn't solve everything.

I hope you feel better soon :l.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I am having a melt down today...I am so tired of doing all the finances and if dh does it he makes a mess of it....I want to run away....and drink......aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dots, Drinking AT hubs isn't going to make him a finance wizard. Just going to make you feel like a pile of thit. Gather yourself with your new coping skills...work thru it..tackle the biggest problem first. After each exercise, go slap hubs up side of the head and ask him to help you!
I'm sorry you are frustrated, but like K9 just said, better to be frustrated than hungover. Nothing worse than that for us. Hang in there. Go pet the dogs, THEY understand!! (or seem to). Hugs to you and Jane...sorry today is getting the better of you, tomorrow will be stellar! Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there Dots!!! Pity him for being so incompetent. Thank goodness YOU can handle this without drinking. That's HOW strong you are! :l

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone and thank you so much for the congratulations. I'm feeling pretty chuffed today. I just said to my son "90 days today" and he said "90 days off the crack, good on you mum". He made me smile as he is nearly a year off crack in March. He knows the struggles of giving up an addiction and he is as proud of me as i am of him. Al is no different to any other drug of addiction as he so eloquently said to me. It could be anything i was giving up.

Dot "My darn laptop had a total brain fart this morning....couldnt remember anything." Now has your laptop been drinking, we were talking about the "not remember anything". Keep a close eye on it ok. haha. Maybe you need to trade in the lappy and hubby by the sounds of it. But better the devil you know....

Mein sorry to hear about your MIL, dealing and coping with someone who is dying is so hard and i suppose we grasp at anything we can to prolong life. My FIL died of a brain tumour in 3 months and damn that was hard as he was 55 and had so much more life to give us. We just have to soldier on and be there for her but please remember yourself.

Byrd, Pav and K9, NS, Dot thank you so much for you congrats, your wisdom, your help with me getting to 90 days (tears welling here). To have your support and belief that i could do this has kept me on the road to being sober, even though sometimes i thought you were talking shite..... You have walked the walk and since i have been here since 2011 i have seen the ups and downs of some of you when in the process of giving up and the frustration and anger and denial and then 'BANG' something happened in your alkie brain and now you are sober. I always wanted to get to there and i have and if not for here and religiously being on here it would not have been accomplished. That has been my biggest plan on giving up al is not to run from mwo when things are rough or my al brain thinks if i hide i can drink. The only one i am deceiving is myself, the only one i was hurting was myself. But i was disappointing my mwo'ers and i so did not want you all to give up on me and you didnt and for that i am eternally grateful. I am not called "lunatic Linda" with posting for no reason but look where it has gotten me, to 90 farking days!

To the relative newbies, newbies dont ever give up giving up, post how you feel like Jane has today. If we dont know we cant help and just a response to a post can be the deciding factor on drinking or not. Even if you dont think you will drink, that al part of our brain is always trying to get in, to get us to drink. Even as determined as we feel never ever become complacent with al. I was in a "funk" the other week and thought i was so sick of thinking about al that i in my wisdom (not!) would have a break. Not that i wanted to drink as i dont but after a few posts of dear friends on here of their drinking after a fair space of time promptly put me back where i belong. Here! I am in early recovery (new mantra for one and all to get sick of) but i have to think this way, i still have a long long way to go, August 2016 is my goal of 1000 days. Pav and I are having a party so you will all be invited! Nothing like a bit of planning i say.

Well bloody waffled on yet again but i so appreciate every single one of you guys on here. Time to message my other children and say "90 days" and wait for their congrats, that will make my day also.

xx

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Ava, that was a great post.

What do you mean you thought we were talking shite??
Haha! that made me laugh!

I totally agree with you: sometimes just a response to a post can be the deciding factor on drinking or not. I could not have said it better.
I don't know how many times you all have helped me.

Way to go Ava Dahling!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I am here and drinking lemon water...had a hot shower and a huge handful of cashews...I am jsut stressed...fellow who I was hoping would either buy the rental house or rent to own said he cant do anything until he sells his house in another state...I do understand but I am so tired of all the paperwork and bs involved in this process..so I am going to sell...and invest the money in MY account.
Thanks for the support...just knee jerk reaction to high stress...but I did not cave....yea me!!!

[paulywogg]

Newbies Nest

Good for you Dottie,ive decided i have weird "witching hours"between 1 and 4 p.m,i fantasize about sitting in my backyard drinking beers and smoking cigs,why?the actual reality would be me chugging beers chasing that buzz that doesnt come and by the time hubs gets home im completely wasted,only i cant feel it,so weird,so im here with lemon water,watching"dr.oz"maybe its afternoon boredom i dunno,just venting this here cuz i just needed it out there,its funny cuz when i make it to 5 o'clock,i dont even think of a drink

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pauly its your af brain saying, well if she wont drink at 5pm then i will try and get her to drink between 1-4pm. Just tell it to F off. I always think of my al part of the brain being on my left side of my head down the bottom, just sitting there quietly ready to pounce. I know, a stupid thought of where it is but if i know where it is then i feel better when it comes out to tell it where to go. No i am not nuts haha. Keep on that lemon water!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Whatever works!

Sarah, how you doing tonight? B