Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Nesters,

Day 9 ends. So I will Martian count !! Sleeping well, thinking a lot about Al. But in right spirits. Do get to think about myself imagining beer but manage to control things.

9 days only and life seems too much different and so much better. No more collapsing at night genuine sleep !!

Got to lose weight, got to get fit and start playing ... So many things to do ....
Good night !!

[poppy62]

Newbies Nest

Rahul well done on day 9 stick with it as it gets better and better. I suggest you tackle one thing at a time concentrate on being af for now and deal with the other 'go to's' once you feel more comfortable with you quit. Remember Rome was not built in a day and being af will make it easier in time for the other stuff to fall in place. Good luck my friend .

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Poppy, that was good advice for Rahul, I was about to say the same thing myself
Our sobriety has to be our #1 priority!

Great on your 9 AF days Rahul, keep going!

Raining here at the moment but it will be changing into snow soon - oh well.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Counting....I had trouble with that. I quit in March 2013....but, did not start a "count" until June. June is when I almost relapsed...at my wits end, I went to a recovery group. It was then I realized I would do absolutely anything not to relapse....thus when I count my true sobriety and seriousness of staying quit.

I have an app on my phone that does the counting for me. It is fun to forget the count.....and I am shocked at how many days have added up. It tracks minutes and seconds too

For me....it's today that counts.....funny how every day is "today". In the beginning it can be hours or minutes. True cravings don't last very long....I could suffer a craving for 30 minutes...and when 30 minutes was up I was exhausted...but, past the craving.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys and gals! No....it wasn't losing the post itself that had me frustrated at all. I'm a techie...if anybody can get back I post ...I can! I used to own a web development company.

Anyway, the reason I said I might not post here much more is because I feel guilty for posting here when most of you are AF or on the road to being AF. I'm not there yet. So, I feel like my daily ramblings of 'tapering' might influence others here, and I certainly don't want to do that.

I visited the moderation forum, but still reading thru it, as it's a pretty big thread as well. To be honest, the only decision I HAVE made is to cut down the amount I was drinking, and that is going very well. I haven't yet made the decision on whether I want to be totally AF or attempt moderation.

In retrospect, I just thought it wouldn't be helpful to anyone in here for me to attempt to 'boast' how well I think I am doing, and yet still drinking 'some' AL. When I found this forum, I came here..well cause I was a 'newbie'. However, it seems most here are AF, and quite frankly, have/had a stronger AL problem than I have. I'm just trying to find the right 'fit' for myself WITHOUT hurting or influencing others. I certainly don't want to do that b/c you people have been WONDERFUL. I just want to do the right thing for the forum, and myself at the same time.

That being said...I'm very happy here at MWO and truly appreciate everyone here, AND SO VERY HAPPY for those who kicked this beast in the nuts (sorry guys!)

Ultimately, it's a learning process, evaluation of our inner-selves, recognizing triggers, stress and other environmental factors..I think...at least...determine how we deal with this beast.

Love to all,

-Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Oops forgot to post about the L-Glut as someone asked about it here a few days ago.... (TrueBeliver I think)

Well, I've been on it now about 2 weeks, and what a weird weird thing it is. Overall, I DO think it works. It has certainly helped me 'taper', but some days are different than others. I use the capsule 3 times a day (so 3000 mg a day). I did read that maybe the powder formula is better for those who have immense cravings for AL.

I tend to take all medications at the same time... my Crohn's meds, Glucosamine for my joints, an Ibuprofen, and now L-Glut around 3:00/7/11pm. One mistake I made with the L-Glut the first week is I took a dose and then ate immediately afterward. It is IMPORTANT to take the L-Glut In-Between Meals (like within an hour or 2)...otherwise it just doesn't have the same effect. The L-Glut actually gives you a 'full' feeling. So much so, if you take a drink...it makes u feel a bit nauseated. That's a GOOD thing...that means it is doing what it's supposed to do. I noticed if I took it too close to a meal, then it doesn't have much effect. I'm still experimenting with it but I think I got it now with eating within an hour or two of taking it. I'll probably get some Kudzu too, as I KNOW for a fact that herb works for cravings etc, but I haven't decided if I buy the drug form or make my own tincture. (kudzu is prolific down here). Anyway...just thought I'd throw that in here. I will say this in closing...I think the Declinol people or otherwise is a HUGE FARCE and preying on folks whom are desperate to achieve their goals is a HORRID thing to do.

OK, nuff said by me tonight for now.

GL !!!

Hugs to all!

Sarah

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE,

Way to go, Rahul. I'm with Poppy - Stay the course with your AF, the rest will follow.

Sarah - One thing moderation sites tell you to do is to go without AL for 30 days and then reassess. Maybe you could try that as a way to tell what's going on with you an alcohol. If you CAN'T to 30 days, then maybe you should reassess your goals?

I had a great weekend - a couple of wistful looks at full glasses, but MANY times to feel grateful without AL. Hope you East Coasters in the US aren't too buried in snow and ice.

Good night.
Pav

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nest. It's a somber sober morning for me here in Germany.

My MIL is going downhill fast. The cancer is just eating away at her spine and it seems like her mental capacity is fading fast. They moved the surgery to Thursday but we are of the opinion that she should NOT have the surgery at all. Why put a very sick woman through all of that pain and stress??? We know that my FIL is pushing for it, but I think that is because he has not yet accepted the fact that she's dying. If she does not have the surgery, the risk is that her back could break at any time and she would lose the use of her legs, but at the moment she can not stand or move around by herself at all so who knows. This is the first time I've had to stand by and watch a family member die a painful death like this (I was very young when my grandparents passed) and it is so painful. The worst part is knowing that she is in pain and there is nothing that we can do to help.

I'm glad to be sober at this moment. I don't know how many days I have but it's been quite a few. I can't say that I haven't had cravings... the cravings and triggers have been there, BIG time... but I just say NO. I have to be sober for myself, for my husband and his family.

Sorry to vent so much on this topic but thank you all for listening and I'm glad to have you all here to keep me in check. NO drinking at the problem!!!

Much love and strength to you all today. :h

[available]

Newbies Nest

Mein so sorry to hear the struggles and pain you are going through. Cancer is such a horrible disease and to watch someone die is so very hard. You are not venting lovely, just telling how you feel. Be strong and take it one day at a time. Your husband will appreciate your strength for him even though he may not show it and its a total blessing that you are dealing with this sober.

As i think i said before i watched my FIL die at 55 of a brain tumour and it was one of the hardest things i have ever had to deal with in my life but what can you do but be there, listen, cry and be there, even it it is just to hold someones hand.

Keep on here and a big hug from me.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

hugs mein

that is so shitty. rant, vent or come here and get rid of it. whatever you want to call it, it helps.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

A lovely overcast day here in my part of the Nest; we had some rain last night, so my garden (and I) are happy, happy, happy!

Now, don't you this this is the coolest mug for the Nest - it actually hooks over your branch, so it's always closy by - no need for fiddly coffee tables!



Oh Mein, the pain your family is going through at the moment... So proud of you, staying AF through all of this. Once Ava has done hugging you, come over here for some more. Rant, vent, cry, do whatever you want as long as it stops you from turning to bottle for (false) solace and friendship.:l:l:l

Sarah, I'm worried that if you stop posting here you may lose your desire to go AF/moderate. Stay posting here - and don't delay the big day for too long. I agree with Pav's suggestion to do 30 days AF before attempting any form of moderating. When I signed up here, I intended (like probably 99% of MWOers) to moderate. I was completely against the idea of a 30 day AF trial, probably because I doubted my ability to actually accomplish that. With hindsight, those 30 days were great, simply because it gave me the opportunity to compare my old life with an AF life - and the AF one is so much better. Not always easy, not always what I would choose - but so much better than days spent in an Al fog.

Rahul, well done on 9 days!!! Get some solid AF time under the belt, and then start making other life changes. It's difficult enough going AF and staying AF: rather lay a solid foundation on which you can build a new life, than attempting everything at once only to have you house of cards come crashing down all around you. Re the counting: I counted the first 30 days, and then had a vague idea of where I was. I started checking days again when I knew I was near the 100 day mark. At the moment, I count months; will probably be more aware around the 150 days mark. But for you, at the moment, treasure each of those 9 (10 by now?) AF days; as I always say they are so precious so name them, the way you would your new baby of puppy or your pet cockroach.

Tree - well done on 60 days - and the really lacy lingerie from Byrdie!

I was out on Saturday evening with a friend of mine. At one stage she said that I was just as good fun while not drinking as I was while I still drank for South Africa (well no, she didn't actually say those last words, but that's what I did before I stopped). I'm actually quite an introvert who used booze as a social lubricant, and somehow her words were a huge compliment that I will treasure for ever. I think many of us worry about how people will perceive our true, sober selves; I was given a lovely answer.

To everybody in the Nest - have an awesome AF Monday!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

A quick hello everyone.

Mein, I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's never easy. My own sister lost her husband to cancer only 18 months ago. He was 56. So sudden. My thoughts are with you.

Nearing the end of day 8 for me. I feel great, but still physically tired from yesterdays efforts. I slept wonderfully last night. Hopefully the same tonight.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Everyone, thank you SO much for the support. You guys are right, it is a shitty, shitty time. There is nothing that can be done except to wait. I'm being strong for my husband and doing all of my crying in my closet when he's not home. I'm so proud of myself for staying away from AL through all of this. I know that you guys are the only ones who know just how difficult that is. Thank you for the love and support. I need all of the hugs I can get right now! I hope the meeting with the psychologist goes well today, and he suggests that she NOT have the surgery. I would rather that she come home and be with family during this final time. Love you guys.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Yes, I'm sitting in yet another snowstorm, oh well.

MS, hospice care would be the kindest approach for your MIL now. My nursing gut tells me so after hearing your reports. I truly hope, as a family you can make this choice to provide comfort care for your loved one. My thoughts are with you :l

Wishing everyone a safe & AF Monday!

Lav

[New Dreams]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters

I just figured out..or think I did, MAE = morning , afternoon. evening. Makes sense as we're from all over this beautiful blue marble.

MS I agree with Lavande, I also am a nurse and frequently dealing with terminal patients and their families. Hospice is the kindest thing, allows the patient to get some pain relief, chaplain support if desired and an opportunity to have some quality family time. If the family and the psychologist can get F-I-L to come around that is something that can be done. Blessing and a big HUG!

I have just started my Day 3, am using the L-Glut and Kudzu and very grateful for them as the do seem to moderate the cravings. When I quit smoking 3 decades ago I noticed there were certain times that automatically triggered a desire for a smoke. First cup of coffee in the morning, get into my car, certainly moments of stress...Day 1 and yesterday I noticed that watching others drink brings craving, not huge but noticeable none the less...this was on TV...the family sitting around the table for dinner on Blue Bloods with a glass of wine. Watching the Movie Lincoln the Sec'y of State with his little snifter of brandy...was an interesting insight. I no longer experience the triggers that made me want to reach out for a cigarette...I am hoping with the passage of time these visual triggers fo ALwill diminish too!

Anyway this is my first day back to work after (I work from home) 28 step commute to the coffee pot, rather than the 28 mile commute (56 rt) that I used to do. Hubby and I are realizing we probably need to find a different evening routine besides being couch potatoes...still working that out.

Have a great day everyone.
New Dreams