Newbies Nest

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. It's been a while since I've visited the nest. I must be getting older, because I can't seem to keep up as well as I would like. But I am going to try harder I see lots of new faces, and that's always great.

K9 - glad to see you made it through and hope whatever it was that upset you is now a distant memory. xx

NS - as always, brilliant post. Yes - sobriety is a 2-4 on the discomfort scale at first, but I sure don't miss the emotional tsunami that would overtake me after a night of heavy drinking.

Luvin - I always stunk at moderating, but that didn't keep me from trying....over and over (see my tagline) - total insanity. Hang in there.

Petrel, Stupot, Frances - Hope to get to know you better.

And to those I missed, I apologize. I will catch up!!

Happy MAE everyone.

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

MAE Everyone - quick question for mywayin: did Ava knit those? :H:H

Welcome to all the newcomers. I've been in the nest a little more than a month and it has helped me change my life. The advice, love and support makes one day at a time doable.

Have a great, AF EAM all.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Busy around the nest today ~ great!!!!

Hello & welcome back Frances & SpiritGirl!
The nest is the place to be, please make yourselves comfy & accept Byrdies prizes as you earn them

mywayin - cute sweaters!
My girls don't have sweaters but they seem just fine. My girls also refuse to walk in the snow :H
I have to go in their enclosed yard & shovel & sweep a path for them or they refuse to go out!!!!
Still very cold but no more snow in the forecast, yay!

Working on my gratitude list helps me stay focused. I know for sure that I have too much to lose so I will never let my guard down. I love having my mind back & won't risk losing it now :H

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

My Hardest Post Ever on MWO

Hello my friends of MWO. I?ve thought a lot about how I want to word this. What I?m about to say is not easy. Last night I had a relapse. I could sit here and make excuses, but we all know that?s bulls*t. We all have many ?reasons? we could justify drinking if we wanted to go down that road, yet most of the time, we don?t do it. I wish I had an answer as to WHY?.after 2 years, I dared to think the demon wouldn?t hurt me. Well, he did. Not only did he kick my ass physically, he made me not like ME. I lost trust in myself for minute. I doubted everything I ever said or wrote on here, and I thought that maybe now I won?t be able to help anyone, because after all, I made a mistake. What scares me the most is the thought of derailing one of the newbies (or oldbies even) because of my stupid decision. I would hate that more than anything. I?m not here asking to be forgiven or to hear ?It?s OK?. Because for me it?s not OK, and it never will be. I?ve learned that the hard way in the past. This time was no different. I?m grateful nothing worse than a few drunken phone calls took place (yeah?sorry about that Byrdie, MamaBear and FinallyDone). All I want is to think that maybe something good can come out of this, that it might prevent someone else from making the choice I made. It?s not worth it!! You can?t put a price on your self-respect. I lost mine last night, but now I will do everything in my power to get it back. I deserve more than poison in a bottle. So do all of you. Please DO NOT let me steer you off course by my horrible decision. I am refusing to let this become a full-blown relapse. I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, and thanking my lucky stars for all of you.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

K9 - I'm struggling to find the right words. I feel it would be dishonorable to give you the same rote advice that we tend to give folks when they relapse. I know that you would hate that and deserve so much more. So, I'll just say that I'm sorry that this happened - for you, not for us. You will always be one of the MWO angels (as I think of you). You have inspired me from the very beginning, and always will. Coming here and posting took great strength. Take care of yourself. xxxxx

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Hey K9...Wow...but hey...No problemo...Just dust off and jump back. We can all learn from this...how Mr AL jumps you from behind......Let us know the lesson so we can glean your advice.

As far as Im concerned---you are still two years sober with a bump....BI?...Effen deal!...Your still here and a momentary thing like that does NOT deserve you to feel anything other than resolve to get back on zeeeee horse!. Get back to liking you and then YES---Something good will come from this...YOU giving us all that good advice again...DEAL?...Good!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Wow K9 thats pretty heavey shit! I'm not going to say its okay as we know at the end of the day its not but we also know how farking hard it is not to drink. I think to me it is a deterrent to always be on my guard but i am also realising about al that it can strike at any time. I am glad you shared what you went through though and i would like to give you a big hug.

The one thing i did notice though was that you went off mwo. You used to be on daily and then occasionally. Do you think this is why you were not on as much as the plan was already taking form in your mind? I am just interested to hear your thoughts on this one. Look after yourself K9, you are a strong woman who has contributed so much to mwo and you will keep doing so. When i came back in 2013 i was so impressed that you had done so much time being af and you inspired me then and you still inspire me.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for the kind words. I really do appreciate them!

Ava - You're right. I stopped posting as much. I kinda centered my attention on one or two threads. I have found when I leave the Nest my resolve weakens. I need you people!!! I don't know whether it was subconscious, maybe. I am willing to look at any "reason" as to why this happened. All I know is that it won't be happening again. My poor child was alarmed that drunk mom was back. I promised I'd never intentionally hurt her, but by drinking, I know I did. She takes things very hard emotionally. I have promised her (and myself) that it will not happen again. BOTH of us deserve for me to keep that promise!!

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

And those comments you just mentioned?.....are what makes you stronger and will help the rest of us...RIGHT ON!

Thanks

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1634252 wrote: Hello my friends of MWO. I?ve thought a lot about how I want to word this. What I?m about to say is not easy. Last night I had a relapse. I could sit here and make excuses, but we all know that?s bulls*t. We all have many ?reasons? we could justify drinking if we wanted to go down that road, yet most of the time, we don?t do it. I wish I had an answer as to WHY?.after 2 years, I dared to think the demon wouldn?t hurt me. Well, he did. Not only did he kick my ass physically, he made me not like ME. I lost trust in myself for minute. I doubted everything I ever said or wrote on here, and I thought that maybe now I won?t be able to help anyone, because after all, I made a mistake. What scares me the most is the thought of derailing one of the newbies (or oldbies even) because of my stupid decision. I would hate that more than anything. I?m not here asking to be forgiven or to hear ?It?s OK?. Because for me it?s not OK, and it never will be. I?ve learned that the hard way in the past. This time was no different. I?m grateful nothing worse than a few drunken phone calls took place (yeah?sorry about that Byrdie, MamaBear and FinallyDone). All I want is to think that maybe something good can come out of this, that it might prevent someone else from making the choice I made. It?s not worth it!! You can?t put a price on your self-respect. I lost mine last night, but now I will do everything in my power to get it back. I deserve more than poison in a bottle. So do all of you. Please DO NOT let me steer you off course by my horrible decision. I am refusing to let this become a full-blown relapse. I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, and thanking my lucky stars for all of you.

To my beautiful and loving friend K9,
There is nothing you could ever do that would make me upset with you. You have always picked me up when I was down. Last year was very tough for me after the car accident and you were there to keep me going. You are kind and loving. You have a sweet voice and caring heart. Your going to make it just as I will make it past this horrible thing called AL. We make mistakes and we learn. You did not make me think any less of you at all. You will get back your self-respect and one day will turn into the next and boom. Two years again. You have always been here for so many of us. Now we are going to be here for you!

Love you always,
FD

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, K9 :l

Just as you've inspired so many people and shown us how not to drink, now you can show us that one mistake does not have to lead to disaster. This does not have to become a relapse. You have already taken charge of the situation by revealing what happened. You didn't let AL win by shaming you into sneaking around and lying --- pretending it didn't happen or slinking away from everyone here who cares about you. I've always admired your determination, K9, but what you did this evening took more courage and strength than most people have. Making a mistake doesn't mean that everything you've posted isn't what you believe. It is always hard to live up to our highest ideals. Please keep posting, sharing your experiences, and motivating us all - including you - to gain and maintain our best possible AF lives.

xx- NS

[LuvinSpoonful]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Petrol, Moss, Lav and Frances and anyone else I missed. This place moves fast but I hope to get it down soon and meet some new confidantes. Day 4 for me and I feel like I'm talking to myself like a toddler or a puppy. Everytime Al pops in my head, I immediately say No! either in my brain or out loud. lol

Oh, and LuvinSpoonful? Yeah I tried like 30 names, all of which had already been taken by other former lushes and just typed this one in on a lark. Then it was all "Welcome Luvin!" :H

I look forward to meeting many of you as I've already tried to absorb a lot of knowledge and feel kindred with quite a few...

[LuvinSpoonful]

Newbies Nest

K9 - it was a slip. You have immediately taken steps to correct it. I've read quite a few of your posts since I showed up here on Sunday night and I have nothing but respect for the lady you are shaping yourself to be. Onward and upward. Last night CANNOT define all that you've tried to do over the past couple of years. Your do-over is today and I hope you've kicked Al's behind a little harder than he kicked yours last night.

Btw, I'm new and on Day 4. Nice to meet you.

[Esncec2002]

Newbies Nest

Question

I just received my book and CD's. One thing I have noticed is that if I eat early I have no desire to drink. The hard part is I have a family and I spend a lot of time cooking later in the evening and that seems like the time I want to drink. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[LuvinSpoonful]

Newbies Nest

Hi esn: Can you do some crockpot stuff for a few days a week? Maybe cook ahead of time so it frees you up and gives you a little more time in the evening to settle into where you want to be?