Newbies Nest

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all dear people. So many good advice's here and I am ready to commit again.

Byrdie-I am on day 1. NO AL in the house. Thank you for taking me back to my first post. I remember the feeling. It was awesome.

Jane- You are right. I am turning off the WHY and just sticking to not drinking today.

Having said that I read a link sent by no sugar about relapse. How it happens before the actual drink and I so relate to that. I’m ashamed to say that after 4 AF months I may have gotten “cocky” and neglected to protect my sobriety. I wasn't thinking about AL and so I wasn't protecting myself from a fall and the possibility that it may happen. I know better now. I know that I have to guard it at all cost.

Avail- You wanted to know if I was drinking AT somebody. So, the answer is yes and that somebody is me. I just completely lost myself and went back the AL road which seriously sucks as we all know.

Quitting is tough but after so long of being AF and then drinking again I know that drinking is so much tougher. The thoughts that were going through my mind, the negative energy. I have no reason to drink and all the reasons in the world to quit.

I am doing this. I quit.

I wish you all a wonderful sober day and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You people are amazing.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jane!
Fake it til you make is solid advice. I hit a real flat spot around 4 months and that's exactly what I had to do. I'm so glad I did, too...and so will you!

Now about that cooking!
Someone yesterday gave some good advice (Lead, maybe?) about putting the meal in the crock pot...then people can get what they want, when they want it. It's easy and very little clean up. There are also a myriad of prepared meals that are really tasty...Do you have Trader Joe's? They have all sorts of good things you can whip up and take credit for!! There's not much better than a big pot of chili! Maybe you could buy some baked potatoes and have them on hand to heat up? You can also buy pre rolled out pizza doughs and have A1 and A2 make their own pies...that's kind of fun. Just a coupla thoughts. Now I'm hungry! B

[New Dreams]

Newbies Nest

My Journey... so far

This nest is awesome & cozy & I so appreciate all the love and support I read in all the posts each day. Last two days were a little rough & I was cranky and having to shout back at my booze brain that kept pestering me. I asked hubby if his was chatting at him as well...he said a little...then he made me laugh...he said yeah...but I just changed the conversation.

Lav, I am familiar with an "attitude of gratitude", but don't always remember to do it...do you blog on a separate string about that? Do you have any books where you draw on inspiration for that?

No Sugar....when you talk about no sugar...what about fruit & fruit juices...or is it just eliminating processed sugars...what about whole food sweetners? I think I've heard reference to a string on that...is there?

K9 & Lucky...so glad you've picked yourselves right back up by the bootstraps!

Someone also mentioned reading a bit on abstinence each night...was that you Pav?
Where do you get your material?

So many question...sorry about that...I am just jazzed today...tomorrows a week! Woohoo!:thumbs:

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi all!!

Wow, miss a day on this thread and it feels like a year.

Jane, I hope you're feeling better. Sorry to hear about the cheek biting. It is often a result of stress, and will most likely be occurring in your sleep. For many people who are stressed, bruxing (grinding your teeth) in your sleep is a physiological coping mechanism. You can't stop it easily. It is very common, and it doesn't make your case particularly bad. Other contributing factors may be xerostomia (dry mouth) and worn dentition.

Are you sleeping well? You may benefit from a sedative for a while (eg: Diazepam) until you're through the worst of it. Also an intra oral lubricant on your cheeks and tongue, especially before bed at night might help relieve symptoms and prevent further trauma. I'm not sure of brand names in the US, but ask your pharmicist.

Also, do you have a regular dentist? A common treatment which may be of benefit is an occlusal splint. It's like a small mouthguard that you wear at night. It can reduce symptoms and trauma.

Ultimately, as you get through the immediate stresses, and reach a happier place, the bruxing and associated symptoms should resolve to a point where they are very manageable.

Jane, I hope that helps. Please feel free to PM if you have any queries.

Pav, I can so relate to high BP. I've managed to avoid medication so far, only just. I know for me, there is a direct correlation between Al and my BP rising. I've been testing mine almost daily since going AF, and predictably it has dropped to a healthy level. That was nice what you said about staying healthy and being around longer for our kids, grandkids. I had children later in life, so if I'm going to be around to see grand children, instead of the grand dad they never new, because he drank himself to death, I'd better get my act together. I appreciated your Buddhism quote too. Understand your problem, make a choice and take control, I guess.

Ava, your advice is gold, as always. Your direct but subtle style hits the mark. What we're all trying to achieve is very difficult. But we need to take control, and make it happen. Whatever it takes. And make the most of the great resources here.

Dream, I'm enjoying one of those big fat coffees of yours as I sit in bed on this Friday morning........Cheers!! I'm starting day 12 and heading off for a 1 hour run. Friday night is always a test, so I plan to pop in again tonight and chat.

Thanks for listening and have a great day!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

New Dreams;1634845 wrote:
No Sugar....when you talk about no sugar...what about fruit & fruit juices...or is it just eliminating processed sugars...what about whole food sweetners? I think I've heard reference to a string on that...is there?

Hi, NewDreams

Most of the recommendations are now to cut out the processed sugar as well as the fruit juice. When you eat the whole fruit, you also get the fiber which has its own benefits and slows down the sugar absorption. I personally don't eat tons of fruit although I usually have some every day (especially berries) and I also don't eat many simple carbs. For most people, there could be enormous benefit by just cutting the added sugar (and so most processed foods - you have to read labels) and fruit juice.

There are a few threads you might be interested in:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-71-70446.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-43-81267.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f6...ion-46379.html

There seem to be 2 groups when it comes to sugar and alcohol - some people can handle a craving for alcohol by eating something sweet and for others, consuming either increases the desire for more of both. Its good to figure out how it works for you. If sugar can help you stay AF, you might want to wait and deal with sugar later. On the other hand, if sugary foods increase your AL craving, it is great to dump both at once.

All the best, NS

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Good to see the nest busy.

Day 14 ending sober ... Being sober does makes us face life from a different prospective. During Al days so much time was spend thing about about Al That I forgot how to live life and appreciate it. Thinking about Al, then drinking , then collapsing at night ... then the hang over. Where was time to face life ? Life or reality was just coming in the way between me and AL. As if I had to do what ever to survive in life ... Work, family etc so that in end I can have AL. The illusion of reward has been AL. My brain has been tuned to look forward to AL in any situation ... Every time, everyday !

Now with AL out of system its amazing (and also sometimes boring) to see things in a different way. Earlier LIFE was coming in way of AL. Now its ONLY mainstream life and reality I have to cope with and live ! ReLearn to live with new (Or old original ) rewards .. Whatever that maybe for me. Rewiring my brain so that I see AL not as reward but a poison. Saying is easy but to treat one reward as poison will require good amount of rewiring and few short circuits in my mind. Something which I am doing.

I will be travelling soon for about a week or so to middle east and eastern Europe. And it feels so different to plan travel without planning - where will I drink. It does not matter and in a way it feels so free. But at the same time it does not feel "exciting" to travel. Its not that feel regret that there will not be AL. But I feel ... What will be there to look forward to ?

LIVING is also bringing about boredom a state of mind unknown to me for so long due to the poison I have been having for so long ! Where is everyday of FUN ? Now what is there to look forward to which might bring will bring about REAL excitement and not just the illusion of fun and excitement which has been with booze.

Went to chili's for lunch today...place I used to drink loads of beer, had a nice mean but no booze. Was I missing Booze .. no. Was I envying people who were drinking abaolutely not. Was I feeling miserable as I was not drinking.. No. Was I missing something ? Yes !! The excitement of looking forward to something. But then Y did I go there to find it ?

AM I looking for a substitute for AL...no !! This is how life was before I got trapped in AL trap. And what was there to look forward to when I didn't use to drink ? There were many things. But with Al in the brain I have been so blinded to see everything , every situation and every event with AL. I must re discover those things which I look forward to fill the void.

Wise people say dont substitute Al with anything else. And I must tell my self that AL was always a substitute ... A substitute for life ...

Now I dont have AL ...so I have life ... And I must relearn to live with .. Appreciate it ?. Find new ways to cherish it, new meanings....

Sorry to bore you all with my state of mind but it helps to went out.

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1634768 wrote: Posted this in the wrong spot! Let's try this again....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckyflower View Post

I had been reading the forum for quite some time but took me some time to actually join. I am sick and tired of the shame and guilt. Reading helps me realize that I am not alone and that there are so many of us struggling with quitting. I know it's just the beginning but I already feel better. Sleeping for 7 hours straight last night was amazing. I wish us all the power to resist and find out AF lives again. End Quote 10/19/13


Lucky, I ran back and got your first post on Oct 19, 2013. This was your Day 3. Already you were feeling better...It is amazing that it only takes a couple of days to get your momentum back. But you must make a decision...and it's between two things: life or death. I could sugar coat it, but that's about the jist of it. It is inevitable that you quit, you can do it under YOUR control or under AL's. So get back to the basics that we talk about here...get ALL the AL out of your space and vow to buy NO MORE of it. Surround yourself with things you love to do and eat. Keep your tummy FULL! Make this your Day 1 and by Saturday, you'll be posting another note like the one above! There are NO shortcuts to getting sober. It takes work, but I know you can do it because I have seen you in action. I know you aren't a big poster, but please glue yourself in and read and make yourself be accountable. You can do this...we believe in you.

Lead, you know in the course of a person's day, you just take some things as a given? Well, this is my feeling towards you. You had the right mindset the very day you first landed. You write really amazing things here and are so supportive to EVERYONE. I truly admire that and I am so proud of your 30 Days. When I read your stuff, I say, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I should give you more 'Hell yeah's'!!! GREAT job on your 30 days!!! On behalf of the nest, please accept this hat!!

:goodtime:

30 days around here is saying something. It says "I got the lead out and am taking steps to improve my life". Not only have you gotten help, but are the first to greet new people when they come onto the site. This is a big day! We are so proud of you. As you know, we like speeches as to how you did it! What is different this time? What worked and what didn't? Keep up the great work!

Hope everyone is having an easy day today! I'm with Little Beagle, all I'm worried about is today, and I can handle that! Hugs to all! Byrdie
__________________
All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
Newbies Nest
Toolbox

Thank you BL....appreciate your strength immensely You give sound advice.

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Hey All....Just heard a great quote from Mick Jagger. " the thing about booze and drugs is this...you start out choosing the lifestyle and it treats you well......then after awhile...the lifestyle chooses you!"

He's smart...He quit!

I quit!

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Lead, that is a great quote and so true. We all know that don't we. Freakin AL!
I quit too!

Pav, glad you got off those blood pressure meds. That is a huge accomplishment for sure.

K9, yup, a hot bath and a cuppa next time, that is Waaaay better than AL. Live and learn right? Next time in the tub you will go

Lav, I am around but sometimes I just lurk. There is so much going on all the time. I usually post on the Ladies on a Mission in the Abstinence section. But I love this thread too.

Hey Rahul, you are sounding great! Glad you have your life back.

Well, off to get a massage. No drinking for me tonight or this weekend for sure.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pav, I was able to go off 3 (count em, THREE) Blood pressure meds after I quit! Just amazing! Who knew? I thought it was relaxing me! What a boob! :bust: B

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1634963 wrote: Pav, I was able to go off 3 (count em, THREE) Blood pressure meds after I quit! Just amazing! Who knew? I thought it was relaxing me! What a boob! :bust: B

Should we start calling you BoobieLady now instead of Byrdie? :H That would be fun to quote you by saying "Like Boobie said....all you gotta do is get thru this day!"

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1634983 wrote: Should we start calling you BoobieLady now instead of Byrdie? :H That would be fun to quote you by saying "Like Boobie said....all you gotta do is get thru this day!"

:H:H:H

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Like Boobie said, no two bad days in a row!

:H:bust:

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1634768 wrote: Posted this in the wrong spot! Let's try this again....

There are NO shortcuts to getting sober. It takes work...

Actually, this is what Byrdie said today that struck me. This is the truth. I would wager that most good things in life take work, however.

Lead! Way to go. Did Byrdie mention the tradition of a 30-day speech? It is a HUGE milestone in my book, and we like to hear how you did it and what worked for you.

Lucky - Hearing your story is another good reminder of why not to drink. Everyone around here says that getting back ON the wagon becomes harder and harder each time you fall off. There are many hands reaching for you to pull you back on this wagon - hang tight and take care of yourself. You can do this!

New Dream - I read a lot on here - there is a lot of accumulated wisdom here. Have you checked out the toolbox (under monthly abstinence thread) I also liked Lit by Mary Carr, Drunkard (forgot his name), and Drinking, a Love Story. There are suggestions in the toolbox and in other threads as well. The Rain in My Heart videos are heartbreaking - watch at your own risk and as a reminder of what you don't want to become.

Jane - I really love to cook - I think because I love to eat so much. I read the blog Food52 which has simple, easy meals (as well as hard ones), but for most weeknights I do what Byrdie suggests. Tacos, hamburgers, pasta, crockpot - there are a lot of short cuts.

Rahul - Instead of thinking that there isn't anything to look forward to, change that thinking around. You can look forward to waking up early for a stroll along a river, staying up late to watch a performance (that you don't have to rush out of to the concession line at intermission), enjoying your kids - taking in the sights and sounds of your trip without the haze of booze in front of you. Remember that milkshake from your last trip??

Petrel - it does go fast around here - sometimes I just read and post a short one, and sometimes I go on and one. I don't think anyone's keeping score - do what works for you.

Feeling the love and support here in the nest. Stay strong and dust off those weekend plans. Tomorrow is Friday, just another day.

Pav

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Pavati

I did post one in the "just starting out section"