Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Oh Pop i was wondering where you were, i so wanted your congrats on my auspicious day yesterday. It was fantastic as i am sure you have read, felt like xmas day. I cant wait for the celebrations for Pav and yourself to begin, we have done something that none of us thought humanly possible at the beginning. See you tomorrow.

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys what a crazy day with the time change! Almost didn't get to check in.

Spirit Girl, Happy Birthday and congrats on 7 days! And thanks for asking what MAE meant, I was wondering myself.

TJAF thanks for explaining that!

Rahul, i love reading your posts they are very good. You are doing great with almost 3 weeks. I know what you mean about being surrounded by alcohol are you sure we're not related lol? Anyway I have two good movie recommendations for you if you do NOT want to see alcohol glorified: one was Flight with Denzel Washington (that one just came out last year, you might have seen it) but the other was You Kill Me with Ben Kingsley, Tea Leoni and Luke Wilson. Watching both of those movies sort of made me think about what was going on with me and reinforced my desire to try to change. Anyway they are both good movies.

Of course you are way ahead of me in this but thought they might help!

Everyone have a good MAE! And please don't let there be another Nor'easter headed our way Lavande! I've had enough of this winter!

AVA you are AWESOME!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

Glad you checked in today, Poppy. Ready for the party tomorrow? I want ice cream if you don't mind, along with all of the usual savories. I think you're in a very different time zone? Anyway - I think you'll get there first. I'll check in when I wake up, about 12 hours from now.

Summering - welcome, and settle in. You've come to a great place, and soon you'll be "summering" without alcohol. Nothing could be better.

SpiritGirl - GREAT on 7 full days - what a wonderful birthday present to yourself.

As for going out to parties, I had very strong resolve at first because of an incident that brought me here (basically terrible anxiety), so I had a strong plan going in to every situation. Like Ava says, plan what you will do ahead of time: eat before you go, decide what you will drink, tell your significant other or friend if you have one that you'll be the designated driver, plan what medication you're "taking" for what ailment (so you can't drink). Whatever you need - and if you feel wobbly at all, don't go. Nothing is worth giving up your sobriety. I still "miss" alcohol in certain situations - but my work and connections here and in person keep me honest.

Jane - I think that being honest here is what DOES keep us all honest.

Rahul - True that AL is glamorized everywhere - like smoking used to be (and still is in some films). I'm glad you're new friends will know you as a non-drinker!

I hope everyone has a great evening. Stay strong, stay focused. We can do this!

Pav

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

Btw Jane I love your proverb at the bottom of your posts..."first the man takes a drink...then the drink takes the man".

Also TJAF's Quote by Ann Landers about drowning your sorrows...another good one.

Great work Mein on handling the MIL health stuff.

I hope David checks in soon that withdrawal post sounded bad. Hope you are doing better if you're reading this.

Summering & Sugar we are at the same place, just finished day 2 after a couple of previous tries.

Let's hang in there for each other!

[tree23]

Newbies Nest

Hi All-
So on Day 69. Yesterday was close for me. I had a very good day at work but then it turned crazy because I was not balancing, big money being off is bad. Took two + hours to figure it out. Called my boss and she suggested going next door to the Liquor store and getting a bottle. She had had two glasses of wine and highly suggested it. I have to say that i considered it for a moment, then actually visualized taking that first drink and got nauseated. So yay on that save though my nerves were high. All in all it was fine and my outage was a wash but it took forever; and since I was late at work I hadn't eaten all day. Not a good combination.

So today: Really hard. Really really hard. Found out that my house purchase is not going through. Supposed to close in 18 days but the seller cannot come up with the $ to take care of the lien on the property. So she hasn't paid her mortgage or her dues for months and going into foreclosure but that can mean months months. So I am depressed and have cried a lot. Just want to hide in my bed. I made a smoothie instead of making a bad choice. My mom is drinking for me. But again as soon as that drinking thought came in my head I changed my thinking to not even this is going to mess my quit. So I am staying strong but damn it is hard!

Thanks for listening. I am excited for my 70 days tomorrow. I guess this house cluster F just gives me more time to save more money for the next place. Just means my timeline is getting smaller. But all will be ok...eventually!

[summering]

Newbies Nest

On my way out to a concert ..my hubby is to sick to go ...normally I'd take a friend and go to the pub across the street for a couple of drinks before the show ...but I chose to invite a friend who has never had a drink in her life , so we going for a walk and tea . Making better choices one day at a time

[crockettaa]

Newbies Nest

summering;1636490 wrote: On my way out to a concert ..my hubby is to sick to go ...normally I'd take a friend and go to the pub across the street for a couple of drinks before the show ...but I chose to invite a friend who has never had a drink in her life , so we going for a walk and tea . Making better choices one day at a time

That's awesome summering!

I'm not sure I even know anyone who doesn't drink! Good choice & you will remember the concert tomorrow! I've forgotten half the ones I've been to.

Blooming Tree, I am amazed at your fortitude! I am trying to figure out some better coping mechanisms, people in here are a real inspiration. I haven't been able to quit for more than two weeks at a time in the last 10 years. Back on day 3, oh boy.

You are going to have 70 days tomorrow, WOW! That is great!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome sugar77 & summering! Glad you found us & decided to settle in the nest for a while!
Make good working plans for yourselves & stick close to the nest

Spirit Girl, Happy Birthday & CONGRATS on your 7 AF days - great work

Rahul, you have to decide what is right for you. I can only tell you that I pretty much glued myself to my house for the first three months when I quit! I had to because I wanted to succeed & there's nothing wrong with that. Do whatever you feel you have to do.

Greeting to everyone & wishes for a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Spirit girl !! Wishing you a very Happy Birthday !!

I can so relate to your pits about waking up fresh. Soon you will realise you will. Be getting deep sleep much relaxing. I myself have trouble waking up !!!

Wish you all the best ... And you gave yourself the best gift !!

SpiritGirl;1636337 wrote: Checking in after a wonderfully AF weekend... the first in a very long time - the first of many!! Day 7 for me today!

Sugar & Summering... I am a born-again newbie.. And let me tell you, I know that weekend pattern all too well... After finally getting an AF weekend under my belt, I can tell you - IT IS WORTH IT!! It felt great to wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed... No regrets. No guilt... Stick close MWO - it got me though a couple hard days (particularly days 4 & 5)... You can do this...

Today is my birthday. Having no hangover is the best gift I can give myself...

Btw, what does "MAE" mean? Thanks!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Lav!

Just wanted to say that when DH brought me tea today the saying on the label was "An attitude of gratitude brings opportunities." Naturally thought of you. So true, and thanks for your steadfast belief in that - it gets me through a lot of things.

xo

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters it's 18th morning !! Waking up sober !!

Jane thanks for cautioning me ... Yes I will be wrong if I don't admit that I was not having thoughts "how great it would be to drink" ... Not at that time maybe in future .... But how can I stop my mind thinking ? I am not stopping myself to think about AL. I do think about it but then slowly the prefix for those thoughts it ... Wow ! How can I ... There no fun in it, so something other to bring back my senses. I know I cannot run away. I have been drinking alone for far too long !!

And please you didn't offend me at all. In fact I must thank you for caring and digging up the old post of mine ... A SOLID reminder I am in danger zone and if I feel that's exactly where I will end up with. So point noted . . Why play with fire when you know you will get burnt !

Lead warning duly noted and thanks for sticking around .... One thing I feel is longing for support and people to talk ...

Available great post and I totally understand why to put yourself with situation when you might fall again. Bent we are proud of you sticking to the goals.

Croccketta : I have seen flight a really great movie. The irony is I saw it after binge drinking ... But best part of the movie is the end .... When he is in jail and he says I am not truly free ... I have not seen you kill me but will surely download.

Paviti : I remember you can onward MWO just after my first relapse sometime around September and lo at you now ... Proud of your achievements ... Great going !!

Lavender , thanks for the advice and I am new bie not an expert so all suggestions ... Hard. And tough ones along with simples will be good. ...

Blooming tree sorry to hear about your apartment but hang on tight results will come. So proud of you not giving up to cope up with the situation it's inspiring !,

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

And hi, Tree! So sorry about your house but so happy to hear how you are handling everything without alcohol. Keep going strong, and keep posting here if you get tempted.

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, as always for the support, Lav, Brydie, LB, you all are rocks. It means a lot.
Pav, thanks for the support, here comes 100 for you, way to go.
Fantastic to hear of the 100 Days Available, I know you struggled so much, Glad to see it coming together for you.
Rahul , keep fighting my man, you're doing great. kick those AL thoughts in the a$$!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Welcome to Sugar and Summer! Thinking of you David. Congrats to Ava, pav, etc. You'll have to excuse me for not getting to everyone...as everytime I've tried to post the last 2 days the site is either super slow or down.

I would first like to apologize for this 'what seemingly will be' a long post. My second apology is to all who took the time, effort, emotions, and concerns when I first joined this forum. You guys totally rock. All of you do!

Two days ago (when I was trying to post here...ughh) I came to the realization that I wasn't quite ready to quit. (even for 30 days). While I was proud that I cut down significantly on my drinking per day, trying to phathom the thought of 30 days (much less 1 day) of being AF just didn't work with my brain. IDK why. I read several forums, devised my plan, took action on the Toolbox methods, and evaluated triggers as they came.

The truth is, (and this site is all about being honest) I'm just not where you guys/gals are. Maybe it's because I don't get drunk...maybe it's b/c I tell myself "i'm not as bad as they were', maybe it's b/c I'm weak, maybe it's b/c I have such deep seeded issues mentally..maybe it's b/c I'm just a dumb F*uck... IDK.

Don't get me wrong..I am still moderating and doing well with that, but I can't seem to get my mind around 'no AL for 1 day'. It's like when the clock strikes 5:00 p.m...it's time for a drink! Doesn't even matter if I crave AL! It's like 'medication time'. Not meaning AL is a medication for me, but more so like 'clockwork'.

I took all the steps in preparing my plan..whether it was food, supplements, exercise, distractions, etc. REALISTICALLY, I get all that...but not emotionally. Again, I suppose this gets back to a post I made a couple of weeks ago that stated something like 'unless u deal with the emotional side of things that caused you to drink/medicate in the first place...it's a lost cause.

So, what do I do? Go to another psychologist who tells me the same thing the first one did, in that, 'your parents were overbearing, abusive emotionally, etc...to only , still learn that it's still the case???

Nesters...I have been rebelling against my parents for the better part of 42 years! While my parents are a little 'less' judgmental now in their older age..they will never see me as anything but the 'problem child'. And, that continues to this day. It doesn't matter that I made great grades in High School, or that I flurished in the legal field for 15+ years, and even ran my own successful biz for 5+ years in web stuff. Nor that I have a son who is flourishing himself (and during a huge
divorce and child custody battle with his dad for a few years) I mean WTF can I do to 'please' these people? NOTHING. And, I'm supposed to live with that?

The answer is 'yes'..you have to live with it. B/C it is what it is and it's not going to change. They know my personality type (cause I forced them to read it), and
it means nothing to them. Nothing I do would be 'good' for them...unless I stop drinking and smoking. I fear, even doing that would be short-lived. (actually they have no idea of my drinking problem)

So..who am I trying to do this for? THEM?? ME? Child?

Yep, my child I would say at first...except he's almost 17, and no matter what u guys say right now...he's prolly seen me drunk three times in his life, but I've
had to go out and pick him up when his Dad (my ex) got pulled over for DUI (with son in the car and also pot).

This is how my mind works. You all can probaby say all the regular 'realistic' things that totally make sense to me as well, but I don't think I'll quit drinking until I 'feel' I have a place in this society, and become accepted by my family.


So, in closing..I'm not ready...'yet'. I will say I have no interest in anyone telling me to get AL out of the house, or a 'holier than thou' attitude. That does NOTHING
but make me rebel. I'm pretty sure this won't set well 'here' either, but the truth is the truth.

Thank u for allowing me to 'rant' and tell the truth here.

Sarah

[LuvinSpoonful]

Newbies Nest

I've got to get in a habit of jotting notes on when people post so I can respond as reading 12 pages and trying to remember is not working.

Ava! Happy belated 100 days. SO awesome.

NewDreams: Homegirl! How we doing over there? Day 11 for us both!

Will do better tomorrow to keep active but until then, happy Tuesday full of something good in each of your lives.