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    Newbies Nest

    MAE all

    Spirit i am sorry i missed you, happy birthday and good on you for being sober for 7 days, i found that first 7 days horrendous, never stopped thinking of al but its just a memory now thank god.

    Summer welcome also, having a buddy is great in this journey, stick close together. I like you, used to think weekends were a celebration to get blind and do absolutely nothing, well the rest of the 5 days i just used to consume my 1 to 2 bottles nightly and function just at work. Its a horrible merry go round so i'm glad you are here also.

    Gracie you are doing so well, your days seem to be flying by. My clothes are getting tighter but i'm so not worried about that, everyone said i was too thin and that happens when you only live on "grapes" and nothing else.

    Jane i always think it is good to give an opinion as at the end of the day we all think about what others write and toss out what we dont want to take on board. I take on what i think will benefit me.

    Crock, day 2 is great and like you i dont know anyone who does not drink. Keep it going.

    Blooming day 70 now? If so a big congrats on that 70 days, a huge, massive achievement. Sorry about your house though, that sucks. I think my dog was very sick around my 70 days and i thought i was going to lose her and i was so stressed and anxious and all over the place and god i wanted a drink but i didnt and i was fine. I think we are so used to drinking when stressed, it was a part of how we dealt with it so you have done fantastic. I loved the feeling that i did not cave in, i dealt with what was at hand without al.

    Lav, i am with you, gluing myself to the house has been very beneficial i must say and its not that i dont go out shopping or whatever, its just i dont put myself in temptations way.

    Thanks MrV, i had a great day and it felt like xmas. I am looking forward to celebrating my 1000th now. Big partaay i must say for that one.

    Rahul, you and only you can do what you feel is best. Every day is a challenge in itself and the best we can do is make it through, you will do this!

    Luvin, i go from page to page and answer and then "copy and paste" and on the next page. thanks for the congrats much appreciated. Dont double digits feel great and as if it is finally coming together.

    Sarah it is only up to the individual person to give up al and beat the addiction. Everyone on here has a problem, has had a problem with childhood issues and family issues and there comes a time to move on and accept people for what they are, you dont have to like them by any means. If you dont you cant move on. I forgive my ex for screwing around on me, i forgive my father for not talking to me for 20 years when my uncle raped me as he said it was my fault. I forgive but i will never forget and these people are not worthy of dragging me down into the hell i was living. I drank AT everybody, damn them all to hell, i will show you but then i realised i did not want to die of alcoholism like my brother. I wanted to live and make it the best farking life i could and so i stopped drinking, plain and simple. I dont have a place in society, i dont want to be like the people in my street, i am me and i am so starting to like me and have respect for me and my children love me. i want to be around when they have their own babies, i want to enjoy my life to the max and that means not drinking and that is so okay. If you want to drink do, if you dont want to stop dont but believe me these wonderful people on here have been to hell and back to get to where they are today, some have lost children and ffs if they have the determination after losing something so precious in this life then i can give it my best shot. I wish you luck in your journey Sarah.

    Well i had a great day at work, i felt like telling everyone it was 100 days yesterday but oh they would have looked at me like i was an alien, but i am still smiling as Pop and Pav are about to celebrate their 100th day and i am one very proud friend of theirs, value their friendship and walking each day sober together. I love parties and especially with very very special people.

    Byrd i hope your trip is safe and you come back to the nest quickly.

    xx
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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      Newbies Nest

      Ava- leave it to you to make me ponder (in tears nonetheless). God I just did a -"Pity party for Sarah who is making excuses for this..." I feel so ashamed. I 'thought' what I was doing was 'explaining myself' and my 'actions'. What a joke I am LOL.


      Who am I to state openly 'personal probs' KNOWING that others have them too? What I stated was also just the 'tip' of the 'iceburg', and yet I selfishly did it anyway. WOW...I need to get a grip on this emotional thing or I have no chance..

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        Newbies Nest

        Our past is our past and we can either let it eat us alive or move on, i chose to move on with mine. I am not going to end up a bitter and twisted old woman who can never forgive anyone like my mother. It is my life and i can only make things happen but i am doing this with support and love from here. What i said was the tip of my iceburg also but if my telling my story helps one person become af then i have done my job. Of course i miss my father but i cant change that, that is his choice and mine is to not drink today. That can be your choice and your decision if you stop the excuses and give it a go, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It is much better to feel that everyday is xmas than to give excuses everyday of why me, drink and it dulls the pain, dont drink and you face the pain.

        There is never a good time, day, minute, hour to stop drinking. The first of the month, the last day of the month, the middle of the month, a Monday, a Tuesday, they arent good days, neither is a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday or a weekend. But there has to be a day and it is the hardest day of our lives but also the best day. But as i say Sarah the choice is only yours, not your husbands or your sons or your parents, your doctors, your therapist, your checkout chick at the supermarket, just yours. I think you have more excuses than i ever had lol and man i had a lot also but at the end of the day you are still drinking and tomorrow you will have a different excuse etc etc. The cycle goes on just like life really.
        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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          Newbies Nest

          Hi Guys, today should be a better day since I set the alarm for 6 AM not 6 PM! Lol. I still dislike this time change. I'm a morning person & prefer my light then thank you! Although I have to say I think the afternoon light helps with the witching hour...it seems to make the day speed up at that point.

          Have a great day everyone & I'll check in later. Sarah don't feel ashamed for being mad that your parents hurt you or manipulated you. They're not supposed to do that. They're supposed to have your back, especially a mother, and love you unconditionally. Everyone's different but my "revenge" was always going to be to make my own family, fill it with love & not let them beat me down. And I did that! The old demons came back when kids grew up & started to head out to college, etc. So now I have to forge a new plan to be free.

          Rahul I so remember that line, "I'm finally free." In prison.

          Alcohol makes a good servant but a poor master. I want to be free again.
          :new:

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            Newbies Nest

            Pop and Pav congratulations on that 100 day mark. For taking your life back and living it on your terms.:wave::wave:
            Rahul you are starting to really see al for what it is. I hate watching movies or sit coms where everyone drinks but no one gets drunk and obnoxious. Throws up or falls down. How untruthful.
            Good to see tou this am Mr. V.
            Happy birthday Spirit girl. Sober birthsays are the best present we can give ourselves.
            Jane you rock. As I was reading you just seemed to take the thoughts from my head. Such a wonderful, strong voice.
            Back to work for me. Have a great day all.
            No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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              Newbies Nest

              Good morning - just thought I'd stop in and wish everyone a great AF day! Day 14 here and feeling really good today!

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                Newbies Nest

                Good morning Nesters,

                No sun yet, oh well!

                Pav, that tea sounds great

                Tree, sorry about the house deal! Buying & selling a home is always so stressful, be kind to yourself

                Frances, CONGRATS on 14 AF days :wd:

                Sarah, if you are not ready to commit to an AF life then you're not ready.
                If you are happy & feel that you can continue at your current AL intake then check out the Moderation threads - that's what they're here for.

                Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Tuesday!

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Good morning - had to fly by on my way to work and check in.

                  100 days sober!

                  So very happy for this new sober life and for all of you who helped me get here. I'm sure I have a long post in me for reflection but for now I have to run to work.

                  Happy day,
                  Pav

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                    Newbies Nest

                    WOW Sarah...did you read the book too? If you did you would probably have recognized that your whole rant is just your booze brain takin control...I've been there.
                    If you're not ready to quit though like Lav said...there are moderation threads...give them a try...come back & lurk & when your ready .....

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Congratulations Pavati that is awesome!

                      :yay:
                      :new:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes... It was great to spend it sober, although I have to admit that Day 7 was particularly hard... I was tempted yesterday (it WAS my birthday, after all! Geesh - what made me think even for a minute that I should celebrate with wine! Ugh...) But I didn't.. I got on here, read some threads about L-Glut and headed out for GNC... And wouldn't you know, that there was ONE container of powdered (which I wanted) L-Glut available and it was 75% off! I was MEANT to be there...

                        I hate when I don't check into this thread on a more regular basis. As I read through the posts to catch up I lost track of all the comments I have to the individual nesters... I will be more diligent.. I want to give back as much as I am getting... You have NO IDEA how much your posts here mean to me... And help me.. Even the ones not specifically directed towards me... I keep saying "thank you" and I am going to keep saying it... THANK YOU - to everyone for sharing your successes, your struggles, and your suggestions... The impact is immeasurable... Because of you, I am having another sober day...
                        God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers...

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                          Newbies Nest

                          :goodjob::applaud::wow3:inkele:Pav WooHoo !!!!
                          Dottie

                          Newbie's Nest

                          Tool Box
                          ____________
                          AF 9.1.2013

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                            Newbies Nest

                            jane27;1636412 wrote: Hi Rahul,

                            I understand that AL is everywhere, I just think its easier to manage the temptation by avoiding some things which for me include people that drink a lot, bars and nightclubs.

                            Maybe I misunderstood your post- I thought you had said that as the result of hanging out with your new, 5 years younger friends, you began to slip into thoughts that quitting was severe, and that it would be fun for you to hang out with them and go to clubs. I know you prefaced this by saying your head was not in the correct place, then followed with these comments.

                            My concern was that you were really playing with the idea. As long as you're not drinking, and you know to be on guard for the temptation that AL can present in many disguises, then I believe you're doing the right stuff. This plus staying in our Nest!

                            Love & Strength to you. I hope I didn't offend you. I only felt protective of your achievement.
                            Jane your message was appropriate and from my perspective certainly not offensive although I can see where it could strike a nerve.

                            Rahul, as you know I have been pulling for you for these many months and in Jane's defense you have a pattern of telegraphing a relapse and, like her I am concerned that you are only a bad circumstance away from slipping. Yes Alcohol and its message is pervasive in society. that's not likely to change anytime soon all we can do is to stay focused and stick to our plan. We can't ignore it by sticking our head in the sand and hope we aren't reminded on a daily basis about "how much fun we are missing out on". For that reason, early in your sobriety part of that plan should include avoiding social situations that makes temptation too hard to ignore. None of us are super heroes, and speaking for myself not a saint. The idea that, early in our sobriety, we can resist temptation in a clubbing environment (particularly with a younger crowd) isn't in my opinion a good game plan. I think that was the point Jane was trying to make.

                            Keep plugging away my friend. Your are building a nice resume of AL free days. It wasn't that long ago that you made it past 40 days. You can do it again!
                            Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

                            William Butler Yeats

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Wish me luck folks. I go this Friday for the first blood workup since I've been sober. It will also be a precursor for my first GP visit next week and unfortunately I was not truthful with my Doc even though it was clear I was drinking based on his questions and I've since learned, the blood workup he ordered. I plan on being honest this time around. He can be judgmental so we shall see. I may be shopping for a new Doc.
                              Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

                              William Butler Yeats

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                                Newbies Nest

                                day 18 ending

                                Went to an exhibition a bit far away from work so post afternoon didn't feel like going back to work. Wine to to restaurant , had lunch and saw the movie Captain Philips on my laptop. Then moved to a cafe to enjoy a cup of coffee. Good to see so many people having long chat over coffee.

                                I don't recall when was the last time I did the same ... Chat over coffee .. By chats have been over booze but that's ... And now I know I was. It about chatting with friend but just drinking. Enjoyed iced Americano before leaving for home.

                                TJAF : Thanks for looking out for me. Yes I know I am still early on in path toward sobriety and will stick to your and Jane's advice. Wishing you all the best for the blood work !

                                Good night folk ! Or have a nice day ...
                                Rahul
                                --------------------------------------------
                                Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                                Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                                Rebooting ... done ...
                                Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

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