Newbies Nest

[summering]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 for me and I feeling really good about the weekend . I have made plans for each evening and then I've booked 2 nights at a luxury resort to celebrate . Normally I would think to wait to celebrate but I am determined to do this ...plus the resort is having a huge special and I could never afford regular prices ...can't really afford the special but I'm celebrating a new life . I don't have to worry about AL up there as I could never afford it and I'm not taking any with me . I know I'm getting ahead of myself , I know it's one day at a time . I also know this is my time ! Thank you all for being so supportive and honest about your journeys, it truly is a God sent to me .

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Winter is back....cold again and rainy..snow on the way...
And we have mice in the garage..the Orkin man is on the way...just what I needed..I cleaned the poo up on Monday but there is more and I read it is dangerous to breathe that so against what dh wanted I called the experts...why do men always think they can do everything even when they have NO clue...sigh...laundry too...what a fun day.....

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Good Day all....another beautiful day...Yes Frances.....Our NUMBER 1 priority is to not drink. Its now an investment for me and I protect it like hell!

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Drama in the Nest?

I haven't been online much lately and just reading back I see there's a little drama happening in the nest. Interesting question, is the nest for newbies or is the nest for newbie abstainers?

Regarding our past, and why we drink, I think it's much easier to work all that out once we quit. When we live our lives on an even keel ( no more waiting to drink, drinking, or suffering after the drink) we begin to see things much more clearly.

I hope the nest will always be a welcoming landing spot for all newbies. But I have to say I am not at all interested in moderation. I tried that for years unsuccessfully before I found MWO. Abstinence seems unattainable, until you get through the first day, then the second day, the longer you abstain the easier it is to see why those who abstain are happier.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Jane I only see the poo they leave behind and it is all over the counter in the garage and on the stuff on the shelves....nasty...when it warms up we will have to pull all the stuff off the shelves and clean...eeeww And plug the openings that look like they might be able to get in...Orkin man set traps for the little buggers....eeww again...

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Moderation

3June, I was directed here by a few welcoming me. If moderation is unwelcome, please let me know. I am unsure what direction this path will take me, but moderation is how I hope it can be. I don't want to make others uncomfortable, only find support in fighting this horrible AL thing that seems to weave its way into our ration. I know I am new, so let me know if there are other forums that I should be visiting. Thank you.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

3June2013;1637142 wrote: I haven't been online much lately and just reading back I see there's a little drama happening in the nest. Interesting question, is the nest for newbies or is the nest for newbie abstainers?

How you been June? Good to "see" you.

Interesting question(s)... I'd always considered the nest for anyone beginning sobriety or maintaining, or really for anyone here in need.


Sam

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

3J, this question of 'who belongs in the nest' is an age old one. My answer is Whoever needs it. At any given time we'll see a bunch of returning folks, other times brand new people with NO sober time. It varies greatly, there are no rules here, except that all here in the nest are trying to ABSTAIN and talking about enjoying a drink or two doesn't help anyone here. So other than that, it's open to all...for any length of time.

Sarah, I've been thinking about your post all day. I believe there is a huge difference between being judgmental and being experienced. The judgmental card has been thrown out around this site quite a bit, and what I glean from that is usually the person throwing it usually doesn't agree with what is being said. When I find a thread I don't agree with, I just don't post there. I don't call the people 'judgmental' and 'holier than thou', I just walk away and move on to where I find people who are what I need. Sometimes I do state an opinion if I have a point to make. But you are on a site for alcoholics. If you don't want help, you don't have to take it. If you DO want help, it's here for the asking. All we know is what we have experienced and we have all walked in your shoes....as addicts, we have more similarities than differences. We are not nearly as unique as we think we are. Don't knock being sober until you've tried it. If you call spending half of your waking hours consuming AL normal or even OK, then something is very wrong. If I were going to have surgery or take a plane trip, if I knew my surgeon or pilot had been drinking the deal is off! It would simply be non negotiable...I'm not letting you near me if you've had anything to drink. Why? Because AL impairs our judgment. Period. There were many times I didn't think I was drunk either, but I was. My tolerance was so high I could drink anyone else under the table. I read your post several times, and we have welcomed you here with open arms. The walls you perceive are the ones you have built. We are not keeping you out you are holding yourself in. AL is a prison and you can't see it until you get out from under it. If 99 people walk off the side of a cliff and die do you want to be #100? Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. You just have to trust those who are walking in front of you. We have NO agenda other than to keep ourselves sober. You can fight us or you can check your ego at the door and let us reach out to help you. You wouldn't be here if you didn't need help. We all have demons under the bed, we are dealing with it all the best we can. We are moving forward. Join us. Byrdie

Edit to add: Kensho, even if your plans are to eventually moderate, the usual course of action is to begin with a 30 day AF period of time...if you sail thru this time with virtually no heads sprouting from your body, then you may be one of the lucky ones! If you are constantly thinking about drinking or can't wait until your sentence is over so you can start drinking in earnest again, the days drag on like an endless B movie....then you might want to pull up a chair and stay a while. Give your body a break and see how the first 30 days go...then take it from there. If you are like most of us, you will feel so much better that you will want to continue the AF path.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1637202 wrote: 3June, I was directed here by a few welcoming me. If moderation is unwelcome, please let me know. I am unsure what direction this path will take me, but moderation is how I hope it can be. I don't want to make others uncomfortable, only find support in fighting this horrible AL thing that seems to weave its way into our ration. I know I am new, so let me know if there are other forums that I should be visiting. Thank you.

Kensho
I don't believe in barriers here... you should stay and work out what you want to do. the more you look, the more you learn. There is a moderation section, you should visit that as well. It is a good idea to abstain at first for 30 days just to get a look around you, so to speak, then figure out if you are able to moderate or not. I abstain, but that's me. Only I, truly know myself. ReadReadRead, post, it will come to you what is best.

ps, this from Byrdie's post in regards to limitations, well worth noting:
"except that all here in the nest are trying to ABSTAIN and talking about enjoying a drink or two doesn't help anyone here. So other than that, it's open to all...for any length of time."

Sam

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Although there are no rules per se for posting in the nest, it is the place where people are encouraged to be, especially in the early days of not drinking and for as long as they want or need to be here. It is recommended by MWO and most other similar programs, that a person abstain from drinking for at least 30 days before attempting to drink moderately. Therefore, the support offered in the Nest generally is directed towards helping people reach that goal.

If a person doesn't choose to use that protocol, I certainly don't think they should lie about what they are doing. Being honest is critical to success here - most of us have spent years lying to ourselves and others about our alcohol use and it is time for that to stop. However, once you have explained your plan, it doesn't really need to be repeated unless you are asking for further input and are open to the answers you are likely to receive from people who regularly post in the Nest.

It is reasonable to expect people posting in the Newbies Nest not to glamorize alcohol or give detailed accounts of what they are drinking or why they, unlike others, can or must drink. That is hard to listen to when it is taking all of a person's resolve not to take just such a drink themselves.

Those types of posts generally are not made by people who are asking for help not to drink nor are they made in support of others who are trying not to drink and so in my opinion, should be in other threads. The moderation threads might not be the right place until a person has decided that they definitely are not going to try to abstain and want to learn to drink in moderation. I've seen several personal threads where people work out the path they want to take and ultimately decide to moderate or to give being AF a try. They still post in the Nest - asking questions and supporting others - just not in any way, even indirectly, encouraging drinking.

I think there is room for everyone in the Nest as long as we are respectful of one another's needs. And there should be space on MWO for everyone.

NS

EDIT: Looks like at least 3 of us agree about the kinds of conversations that should be the focus of the Nest. As usual, Byrdie is able to cut right to the heart of the matter .

[trademan]

Newbies Nest

Still Going On

Hi all,
I am working on going on a week without al. So far, so good! this is day 7 now, so after today it will be a full week. I am starting to feel better and getting a lot of stuff done I needed to get down, but kept procrastinating. Plus I am catching up on The Walking Dead and some other shows, haha. I did buy some soft drinks today instead of the usual 30 pack I used to buy 2 times a week. Was looking for some replacement drinks and stuff.

I know that I forget how good iced tea and other soft drinks taste. And I am starting to get the idea that I don't even want to drink al now. I will make a week then work on another.

I have been trying to read all the posts since I came back a week ago, but so many. Congrats to Available on making 100, And to others who are going on too. I will try to get caught up on reading posts, because that is one thing I said that I will do.

Later all.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations, Trademan! That is a great accomplishment. Now there is no day of the week that you always drink. Keep doing what you're doing - it's working !

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Trademan, around here, 7 days gets you a prize! Nesters, please join me in dropping your pants for a full MOON!
:moon:
You have conquered every day a week can throw at you! There are no more surprises! Here's to kicking AL's arse! We are just full of pride for your accomplishment! Keep shining, dear friend!!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I can barely hear myself think......
the wind is howling out there - geez! Just getting rain, no snow but a frosty morning has been promised, unfortunately.

This same 'issue' pops up in the nest every few months. A newbie continues to drink & wants to talk about it here. Sorry, that just doesn't help the majority.
This issue could be avoided if everyone just signing on to MWO would download the book. The book explains why abstaining from AL for 30 days before considering moderation.
I also tried to cut down on my own a thousand times before I signed on here - never lasts for long. I was still holding onto the hope of moderation when I started my 30 day journey. The closer I got to 30 AF days the clearer the whole picture became to me. I was just not going to be able to moderate.....I had become a pickle. We realize that when we finally stop bullshitting ourselves.

On that not I wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
CONGRATS Trademan on you 7 AF days!!!!

Lav

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1637244 wrote: Good evening Nesters,

I can barely hear myself think......
the wind is howling out there - geez! Just getting rain, no snow but a frosty morning has been promised, unfortunately.

This same 'issue' pops up in the nest every few months. A newbie continues to drink & wants to talk about it here. Sorry, that just doesn't help the majority.
This issue could be avoided if everyone just signing on to MWO would download the book. The book explains why abstaining from AL for 30 days before considering moderation.
I also tried to cut down on my own a thousand times before I signed on here - never lasts for long. I was still holding onto the hope of moderation when I started my 30 day journey. The closer I got to 30 AF days the clearer the whole picture became to me. I was just not going to be able to moderate.....I had become a pickle. We realize that when we finally stop bullshitting ourselves.

On that not I wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
CONGRATS Trademan on you 7 AF days!!!!

Lav

Hmmmmm...Pickle...good word!.....Exactly how my brain felt drinking daily...Yup...Pickle.