Newbies Nest

[trademan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks No Sugar, Byrdlady and Lanvanda,
I know I also "tryed" to moderate many, many times. It sounds good in theory, but It does never work out.

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE to all

Thanks Trade, its a huge achievement i am really proud of and life is so much better. Big congrats on 7 days, i found that the hardest but once over the weekend hurdle life was much more settled.

Now on the topic of modding etc. Honestly if i was a newbie and someone was talking about moderating, i would be so in agreeance with that, i would be thinking 'great, if someone can moderate then so can i". woo hoo, i can drink, life is great. The sad fact is alcoholics cannot moderate, tried that without anyone on here talking about moderating and failed. If i was at school i would have gotten an "F" for failure. When we are new we are insecure, scared, ashamed, embarrassed and just want it all to stop so we can get better. I certainly did not want to be told i could NEVER have a drink again, that concept i could not get my head around but reality is we cannot ever drink if we want to stay sober. If i ranted everyday on here with "i want to drink, i want to drink, i want to drink" that would not be good for any newbies determination to quit so i feel moderating is exactly the same when spoken loud on mwo except for in the appropriate thread.

Oops waffling again.

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Wow, an incredible dialogue here over the past day or so.
What I love about being here, especially in the newbie's nest, is that whoever is here, is in my corner, supporting me. I've been here for well over a year, and have yet to string more than two weeks together sober.
Yet everyone has been supportive throughout my journey. Yes they question my motives, want to know what my plan is, what my goals are. All fair questions.
I would love to moderate, but as may here know,that is virtually impossible. I am not trying to moderate, I'm just trying to get my head around that I can never drink again.
For those of you just entering the Newbie's Nest, please hang around for a week or two, even if you are interested in moderation, you can pick-up much information on how to cut down, or quit for a week or two, to help you in your journey.
There are threads on moderation, and you can move there after the nest.
Many find that they should quit altogether.
Wishing all the best.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

From one pickle to another....

Easy Y'all! I don't recall mentioning that my "moderation plan" would include 30 days AL Free to begin with?. I agree with this idea. I may absolutely be naive in hoping that I can one day enjoy this stuff once in a while, and I may very likely be on the total abstaining boat. I honestly apologize if I offended anyone!

I HATE that I cannot control this and what it does to my brain. So naturally, I hope that I can someday control it. I would never speak of how wonderful that ONE drink was. Please know that I will be absolutely supportive and respectful. I can't tell you what it means to me that there are ears out there that are listening to me say things that I haven't shared with another single soul!

I have read the book, and it DOES suggest that moderation is an option. (And there are no posted rules here, so I might mention that the newbies are likely to say anything for this reason). I have ordered kudzu and begun many other supplements. It's once the hypnosis CD's arrive that I will state in earnest that I will begin my 30 days of AF, if not an attempted lifetime.

Thank you Byrdlady for your thoughts on the possibility of moderation only based on my reaction to the 30 days of AF. I struggle with the idea of total abstinence because so many of my relationships include alcohol ? including family, and I know this will be a challenge.

Ciao ? and please give me a chance.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for your clear, honest post, Kensho. You are approaching this in a well-thought out and reasonable way. I know you will find great support here. Please let me know if there is any way I could help you.

We don't count on luck around here but I wish you strength and peace. :h NS

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kensho,

Welcome. I came here just about 6 month back when I realized something is wrong. I can't control AL. I needed AL for everything , everywhere. Time came when I could not sleep without it.

I have been drinking for 10 to 12 years and past 6 years on daily basis. When I first came I too was having thoughts similar to yours. And I suggest what ever your reasons stick to the plan of being AF. I have been drinking and having "fun" with AL for so long that I have forgotten how life was without AL. How evenings looked like sober.

I went AF free for 45 days that was my first binds AF and they were the most memorable days I can remember. I am again on AF free path now just completed 19 days.

Go ahead and rediscover yourself by staying sober for 30 days and see how great like is. It won't be easy. First 10 days will be tough but then you will be in a different world.

Wish you all the best !

KENSHO;1637262 wrote:

I HATE that I cannot control this and what it does to my brain. So naturally, I hope that I can someday control it. I would never speak of how wonderful that ONE drink was. Please know that I will be absolutely supportive and respectful. I can't tell you what it means to me that there are ears out there that are listening to me say things that I haven't shared with another single soul!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

[quote]

Petrel I ate a lot of sugar my first 3 months, but I have naturally tapered off. It's lent so no sugar right now for me. You are doing so well.
QUOTE]

Thanks LB. Yes, I'm being quite strict on myself. I should be content with the fact the AF part is going so well. My mind is so focused on the marathon, I'm imagining myself being at "race weight" which I would like to be about 7kg (15 lbs) lighter than I am now. I'm not overweight, so I'm being hard on myself. Anyway, petty problems. The marathon is about 4 months away.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I want to say first that I had two very stressful and long (12+ hours) days at work. I haven't exercised and I feel angry about some things that are happening. As I was driving home I had a short pity party - gee, do I want a martini when I get home! I was able to change my thinking - grateful that I didn't experience the stressful days with a hangover, grateful to come home and relive stress by checking in here with my sober community. I tell this story to highlight that the work to stay sober doesn't end (not like I'm an expert at 101 days). As NoSugar says above, we don't rely on luck here, we work very hard to get and stay sober because our lives are worth more than a bottle.

This is a great conversation in the nest. I am of the belief that 30 days off the sauce is a great idea, and most of the moderation literature supports that idea - it helps clear the thinking, and the inability to go 30 days without alcohol could be an indicator in and of itself.

I think now is a good time to post this Daily Ponderable from Narcotics Anonymous that a friend sent me when she heard I was quitting (and intended to support). We ALL have problems and excuses for drinking, and we are not special.

"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.


OK, good night, folks. Hope you are all tucked in safely to the nest, butt velcro applied.

Pav

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

[

QUOTE=Byrdlady;1637205]Edit to add: Kensho, even if your plans are to eventually moderate, the usual course of action is to begin with a 30 day AF period of time...if you sail thru this time with virtually no heads sprouting from your body, then you may be one of the lucky ones! If you are constantly thinking about drinking or can't wait until your sentence is over so you can start drinking in earnest again, the days drag on like an endless B movie....then you might want to pull up a chair and stay a while. Give your body a break and see how the first 30 days go...then take it from there. If you are like most of us, you will feel so much better that you will want to continue the AF path.

BL, that is so well said. Without making judgements, I think it is a good idea to have an AF period before attempting to moderate. It's a bit like swinging the momentum right back the other way. Otherwise it's too easy to fail. as many have discovered.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Pav, you just pipped me with your post, but we're both obviously thinking with the same mindset. As each day goes by (day 18 for me today) the less I think about alcohol, and seriously think I will go beyond my 3 month plan.

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

After achieving 30 AF days for the 2nd time this year I would like to thank everyone on this site for their support and all the collective wisdom that exists here in helping me/us reach our goals. I have come to realize that if I choose to drink it is my life & I can. Suppose I don't want to drink & find myself drinking. It is my life and I can choose. If my 'choose option' becomes a non option then what. ~ So here I am 30 days. The more I drink the more difficult it becomes to not drink. The more AF time I have the easier it is to chose not to drink. I have drank for many years and know that one leads to another & another. I can hold my booze well and am a very happy/funny guy when I drink. I am also funny when I don't drink ~ it's the happy part that is missing. I want to see if I can be happy w/o AL and all the physical suffering it creates. ~~ So now I look forward to an AF Spring. I think I need to understand happiness as the ephemeral thing that it is and not just turn to a drink where I know misery is waiting. So today I have a choice.
I choose not to drink.
~ Thanks again MWO'ᵉʳˢ ~

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Good day all.............

Zippo craves...but I do think of Al often...only in regards to recovery though. After dinner tonight whilst enjoying my cake--haha-----I pondered whether I am surrendering tonight?.....Nope!....I had no desire whatsoever. I think that means that I consider sobriety a GOOD DEAL. Yup...Its a good deal.....now that I have the facts and science to rely on what AL does to me. I also think that a lot of room must be granted those that are still drinking and rationalizing. If one drinks daily to excess...then it seems reasonable that one only lives in three states.....inebriation.....withdrawal....and denial. Alcohol loves all these three states and will assist to leverage all these to the hilt. When I look back at my poor decisions...they were always made in one of these three states. Thirty days does allow one a different view...Like?...Duh!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nest,
Having a bit of insomnia tonight, and wanted to check in to say I am doing well and and now on the magical day 13!
I must say, waking up with insomnia because you just plain can't go back to sleep is FAAAAR better thank waking up at 3am with the doom of a drunk mind. That was just the worst feeling in the world.
Ok, back to try and get some beauty sleep.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nest,
Having a bit of insomnia tonight, and wanted to check in to say I am doing well and and now on the magical day 13!
I must say, waking up with insomnia because you just plain can't go back to sleep is FAAAAR better thank waking up at 3am with the doom of a drunk mind. That was just the worst feeling in the world.
Ok, back to try and get some beauty sleep.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nest,
Having a bit of insomnia tonight, and wanted to check in to say I am doing well and and now on the magical day 13!
I must say, waking up with insomnia because you just plain can't go back to sleep is FAAAAR better thank waking up at 3am with the doom of a drunk mind. That was just the worst feeling in the world.
Ok, back to try and get some beauty sleep.