Newbies Nest

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

New Dreams;1637558 wrote: Day 13 doing fine today...yesterday was b***h. I had a busy stressful day on the job, have a sore throat so not feeling on top of the world anyway...by 4 o'clock my booze brain was really shouting at me. Luckily hubby who is also going AF with me on this journey was very supportive & I got through it without heading to the liquor store. I've been accustomed to treating myself to a flavored blackberry brandy when I have a cold & my booze brain was really trying to talk me into my "medicine" LOL:H

RIGHT ON New dreams.....You tackled it! The next time will be easier...and easier and easier. Use that tempt moment to build on for the next time. For me?...every time now MR. AL come into my brain I simply tell him to "FO!.. Im on a mission!"

The more you utilize these aggressive words..the more your brain gets trained to pipe down and the craves decline. PROUD OF YOU

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

How about a cup of strong blackberry tea for that sore throat New Dreams?
Forging new habits & pathways in our brains is what we're doing here

Tomorrow is Friday - time to get the weekend plans in place everyone!
I'm just hoping it warms up a bit - tired of freezing my tail feathers off :H

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Am I the only that couldn't get on here all day??? and the banner at the top is blank....any ideas on what is going on??
Went to a presentation on a Canadian Rockies train trip tonight then out to dinner...trip is expensive but I cant take it with me....we shall see..

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

On the precipice of a beginning
feel the tune and the movement ahead

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

The rockies train trip is a killer!!!! Do it!

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Hi All. Anyone who's read my story knows that it is sometimes easier for me to communicate through poetry. It helps if I can post it and just know that it's out there in the universe. Thanks for accepting it.

Committing.

on the precipice of a beginning…
Feel the tune of forward sight
From heel to toe, away I go
A direction uncharted this night

A guitar bends each pluck to the positive
And hell underneath sends warning
Not easy or trite, I begin this fight
Be the sun in my favor next morning.

Both fearful and eager to really begin this thing called sobriety. Really scared actually. But also pissed off and ready for change.

Have a good night/morning... wherever you are. Ciao.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, All:

Kensho - I love your poetry.

I was very fearful of sobriety, too. I thought I wouldn't be or have fun, celebrations were ruined, I wouldn't be able to cope through hard times, people would judge me, my friends would disown me. Guess what - NONE of it happened. In fact, the opposite happened. I love myself more, and therefore love everything else more. I laugh to tears, have great friends, celebrate, cry - all of it without the cloud of alcohol/hangover/guilt/shame/remorse/insomnia.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Oops - accidentally posted. There's more!

New Dreams - Wahoo for tackling the badness without alcohol. Keep flexing that sober muscle and it will just get stronger and stronger.

Everyone - you all seem to be doing so well. Stay strong, and jump in if you're lurking. Being sober is so much better than the alternative.

Pav

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Day 20 morning sober .. And as I sit in a restaurant drinking warm tea I analyze and wonder what life has been and where its heading. I have been thinking a way too much and to be honest not feel good rather a bit low. Had an argument with a customer yesterday evening because his bills were overdue could not take it when he said I dont know how to do business.

As I see now past 10 years have been as if I have been living somewhere else. I felt like a dream but actually it was a nightmare. Now the real life which is all good feels not so good. Such is the bad effect AL has had on me.

I feel I stopped loving, feeling, caring in last several years of drinking. I have been insensitive jerk, utterly selfish. Today I feel bad and not so good and not so optimist about life. Maybe its just a mood swing but relearning to live life without AL is quite an experience.

Please dont mix understand the last thing I feel like doing is grabbing a drink. No cravings but I have forgotten to deal with this life and its ups and lows.

Maybe I should meditate or read.

I psychology they say there are two types of people. One who do all the stuff during the day and at then end they need time with themselves be along to think it over. That time along gives them energy to recharge,

Then there are second set of people who recharge them selves by being with others. Talking and shading with others give them energy to recharge.

I am the first one of the lots and as I sit here alone analyzing my life and coming future one thing I realize that hey I have grown old. Its just heater when ai was in mid 20s and I had full life ahead. And past 10 years passed like a wiss and all I have been doing was drinking and working ....

Probabily the thing I miss is to have friends, real genuine friends ...

Thanks God on this 20th I am not missing AL one bit !!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Day 20 morning sober .. And as I sit in a restaurant drinking warm tea I analyze and wonder what life has been and where its heading. I have been thinking a way too much and to be honest not feel good rather a bit low. Had an argument with a customer yesterday evening because his bills were overdue could not take it when he said I dont know how to do business.

As I see now past 10 years have been as if I have been living somewhere else. I felt like a dream but actually it was a nightmare. Now the real life which is all good feels not so good. Such is the bad effect AL has had on me.

I feel I stopped loving, feeling, caring in last several years of drinking. I have been insensitive jerk, utterly selfish. Today I feel bad and not so good and not so optimist about life. Maybe its just a mood swing but relearning to live life without AL is quite an experience.

Please dont mix understand the last thing I feel like doing is grabbing a drink. No cravings but I have forgotten to deal with this life and its ups and lows.

Maybe I should meditate or read.

I psychology they say there are two types of people. One who do all the stuff during the day and at then end they need time with themselves be along to think it over. That time along gives them energy to recharge,

Then there are second set of people who recharge them selves by being with others. Talking and shading with others give them energy to recharge.

I am the first one of the lots and as I sit here alone analyzing my life and coming future one thing I realize that hey I have grown old. Its just heater when ai was in mid 20s and I had full life ahead. And past 10 years passed like a wiss and all I have been doing was drinking and working ....

Probabily the thing I miss is to have friends, real genuine friends ...

Thanks God on this 20th I am not missing AL one bit !!

[LuvinSpoonful]

Newbies Nest

I totally get the real, genuine friends thing. It's harder as we get older to forge those but it shouldn't be. We have so much more to relate to each other with. Rooting for you, rahul. Stay tough. Let's get through this first month and brainstorm ways to get the life we want once we're past all this initial quit mood stuff, k?

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Rahulthesweet;1637674 wrote: Hello Nesters,

Day 20 morning sober .. And as I sit in a restaurant drinking warm tea I analyze and wonder what life has been and where its heading. I have been thinking a way too much and to be honest not feel good rather a bit low. Had an argument with a customer yesterday evening because his bills were overdue could not take it when he said I dont know how to do business.

As I see now past 10 years have been as if I have been living somewhere else. I felt like a dream but actually it was a nightmare. Now the real life which is all good feels not so good. Such is the bad effect AL has had on me.

I feel I stopped loving, feeling, caring in last several years of drinking. I have been insensitive jerk, utterly selfish. Today I feel bad and not so good and not so optimist about life. Maybe its just a mood swing but relearning to live life without AL is quite an experience.

Please dont mix understand the last thing I feel like doing is grabbing a drink. No cravings but I have forgotten to deal with this life and its ups and lows.

Maybe I should meditate or read.

I psychology they say there are two types of people. One who do all the stuff during the day and at then end they need time with themselves be along to think it over. That time along gives them energy to recharge,

Then there are second set of people who recharge them selves by being with others. Talking and shading with others give them energy to recharge.

I am the first one of the lots and as I sit here alone analyzing my life and coming future one thing I realize that hey I have grown old. Its just heater when ai was in mid 20s and I had full life ahead. And past 10 years passed like a wiss and all I have been doing was drinking and working ....

Probabily the thing I miss is to have friends, real genuine friends ...

Thanks God on this 20th I am not missing AL one bit !!

Hey Rahul.....Yes...these mood swings will come and go for the next little while....I just chill with mine and accept them.......as you know...things are getting better..righttt????

Indeed...we have to construct a new way to live and thats ok too....probably will be fun...and CLEAN! I keep looking at my POSITIVES list when my mood swings around...and trust that list to keep me on keel. You often write how great things are....just count on your great decision making and you will notice how the do swing. I bet you have a super day tomorrow

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1637510 wrote: Folks, A few thoughts in light of all the posts on moderation vs abstaining. The problem lies not just in the matter of one vs the other, but the fact that each has different goals and therefore different strategies.

I may be missing something here- I have not read Roberta Jewell's book - is there something about abstaining all together that violates MWO rules?

Newbies Nest is indisputably weighted by members who wish to abstain, and it has been as far I've been around since 2012. This isn't a matter of exclusion here- its a matter of not a good idea. It doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong- its just not working for either side.

We've heard a handful of nest posting moderators complain about feeling unaccepted or judged because they enjoy the nest thread, and we've heard more than a handful of sober /or trying to be nest posters say drinking in moderation makes them uncomfortable and/or goes against the plan they have chosen to achieve the goal of sobriety.

I hate to be the kid in the nest making the waves again, but it seems pretty clear that there is a majority opinion here- its not a new one, and it's measurable by a impressive amount of sober time achieved.

Rather than chasing this issue around, why not call the Newbie's thread abstinence based? There's plenty of room for other threads, and obviously there is a market for new members who wish to moderate. If I wanted to play professional tennis I would train with a squash racket- so why not use this opportunity to clarify and define a situation that will meet everyone's needs without causing unnecessary angst?

Jane- coming from 'strictly' a website developer's 'hat'..that is sortof of what I was saying! When I first did a google search, the Newbie's Nest came up first. I said in my post I was a 'newbie', of course, later I went to other threads to read as much as possible, but from a website point of view for those 'searching' like me, and after a couple weeks of being here, I realized the thread itself was inappropriately named. (at least for the content only). The problem is (web wise) the Newbie's Nest also gets the most 'traffic'. So there's no need for the owner of the site to change it b/c he/she gets the majority of traffic on the 'thread name' in Google rankings. I don't want to get into too much web stuff as this site isn't about that, but it 'did' have me a little perplexed when I joined MWO, and discovered NN was more about abstinence. (took me more than 2 weeks to figure that out though). Again, from a web dev's point of view, a 'newbies' nest' should be that. A place for newbies to come and then other's point them in the direction of their goal. Another thing I noticed is there is a huge difference in 'modding' and 'tapering'. I noticed myself saying 'modding' many times which was misconstrued as 'wanting to drink occasionally", but TBH I was 'tapering' b/c of health reasons, and why I said earlier in posts, that modding might not be for me. I want to to abstain!

Anyway, this post isn't about me, it's about the site itself, which is why I suggested another thread (AB)earlier. Just my 2 cents anyway..

More to read...

love, Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1637510 wrote: Folks, A few thoughts in light of all the posts on moderation vs abstaining. The problem lies not just in the matter of one vs the other, but the fact that each has different goals and therefore different strategies.

I may be missing something here- I have not read Roberta Jewell's book - is there something about abstaining all together that violates MWO rules?

Newbies Nest is indisputably weighted by members who wish to abstain, and it has been as far I've been around since 2012. This isn't a matter of exclusion here- its a matter of not a good idea. It doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong- its just not working for either side.

We've heard a handful of nest posting moderators complain about feeling unaccepted or judged because they enjoy the nest thread, and we've heard more than a handful of sober /or trying to be nest posters say drinking in moderation makes them uncomfortable and/or goes against the plan they have chosen to achieve the goal of sobriety.

I hate to be the kid in the nest making the waves again, but it seems pretty clear that there is a majority opinion here- its not a new one, and it's measurable by a impressive amount of sober time achieved.

Rather than chasing this issue around, why not call the Newbie's thread abstinence based? There's plenty of room for other threads, and obviously there is a market for new members who wish to moderate. If I wanted to play professional tennis I would train with a squash racket- so why not use this opportunity to clarify and define a situation that will meet everyone's needs without causing unnecessary angst?

Jane- coming from 'strictly' a website developer's 'hat'..that is sortof of what I was saying! When I first did a google search, the Newbie's Nest came up first. I said in my post I was a 'newbie', of course, later I went to other threads to read as much as possible, but from a website point of view for those 'searching' like me, and after a couple weeks of being here, I realized the thread itself was inappropriately named. (at least for the content only). The problem is (web wise) the Newbie's Nest also gets the most 'traffic'. So there's no need for the owner of the site to change it b/c he/she gets the majority of traffic on the 'thread name' in Google rankings. I don't want to get into too much web stuff as this site isn't about that, but it 'did' have me a little perplexed when I joined MWO, and discovered NN was more about abstinence. (took me more than 2 weeks to figure that out though). Again, from a web dev's point of view, a 'newbies' nest' should be that. A place for newbies to come and then other's point them in the direction of their goal. Another thing I noticed is there is a huge difference in 'modding' and 'tapering'. I noticed myself saying 'modding' many times which was misconstrued as 'wanting to drink occasionally", but TBH I was 'tapering' b/c of health reasons, and why I said earlier in posts, that modding might not be for me. I want to to abstain!

Anyway, this post isn't about me, it's about the site itself, which is why I suggested another thread (AB)earlier. Just my 2 cents anyway..

More to read...

love, Sarah

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Friday afternoon here. Typically I visit my dad on Friday afternoons and have a couple of beers with him. He's been away a few weeks, so today was the first Friday since I started AF.

I haven't told anyone yet, so my dad was the first to find out. He says that shows a lot of discipline. I bought some alcohol FREE beers a few weeks back when I first started. I don't like them, but took 2 along to "have a beer with my old dad". It was nice, filled all criteria and still AF.