Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Ms. Dreamy!

A wonderful post and I could have written it, too! Of course I could moderate - I'm not one of THEM... (BWAHHAHHAH).

Happy Thriday to you, lovely lady. Thanks for all of your support and humor - and CONGRATULATIONS on five months.

xo

[summering]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Dreamy .. just what I needed as I head into the witching hour ...weekends are the hardest .

Day 5

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Well, let's just see about all this, Dreamy....
5 months, times 30 days....carry the 1, bring down the zero....YEP! 150 Days it is!!
Wow, it don get much bedda dan dis!!! (running to the Prize Closet)

:flyingunders:

This is for getting a grip on your undies!! It's for Dreaming, Thinking and Doing!
Your post not only belongs in the nest, please post it to the Tool Box, too! These posts are just golden! If you want to know the truth, I thought Lav was full of beans when she kept telling me I couldn't moderate! I'LL SHOW HER!!! And I did! Dog! She was right again! We are just so proud of you and your accomplishment! You know what I find amazing....so many of us come in here so afraid of what a future without AL will reveal...as the journey goes on, you can really see people's personalities emerge! You didn't just come in here the first day serving up coffee in our favorite mugs, this BECAME your trademark! You found you! I tell you, when folks worry that they won't be funny anymore, it's amazing, they really weren't funny when they were drunk, but they are VERY funny now!!! You have come a long way! Keep up the forward motion!! We are so proud of you!

Rahul, remember your emotions will be all over the place but will level out around the time you get your hat! So keep your eyes on the prize!! Day 20 is awesome!

Summering, Day 5!! Huge! I am getting my moon warmed up for you!! GREAT JOB!

Hang in everyone! Friday is just another day! What we DESERVE is life! Don't waste it on booze! Love to all, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

That sounds really complicated, Jane, and I wouldn't presume to give advice. One way to avoid the stress re: drinking might be to meet for breakfast or perhaps brunch. Would that work?

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Sun is out and may get up to 60, WOOHOO!!!
Off to the gym later so that should be good..meeting tonight...busy life and I am loving it.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I just thought it would be easier not to escape via alcohol at breakfast. I realize that this doesn't solve your other concerns about getting together. I tend to worry about "regrets" so your mentioning all that made me think you wanted to figure out a way to see him without being tempted to drink.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Jane, don't go. You can find a way to see him on your terms. Get through turning the invite now and then when you're feeling better and more clear headed, find an alternative that will be OK for YOU. He is not helping you looking at you with those puppy eyes, just don't go. OK? Protect your quit and protect YOURSELF. I know that fear is my first step toward drinking. Not because I want to, but because it makes it a possibility. You don't drink now. You used to drink, but not anymore. Don't get confused, you aren't confused. You know what you want. A clear head, a healthy life, etc. Put that picture in your head. You are not a bad daughter for wanting a clear, happy life. OK?


I came by to see if anyone had seen this on buzzfeed. Aren't you glad that this isn't going on in your life anymore!?
69 Thoughts We've All Had While Drunk

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, again, Jane.

I'm not sure what you mean by consequences. I don't think you should accept the inevitability of drinking -- it is never inevitable.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Seriously? He won't meet you anywhere without alcohol? And YOU'RE the one with the guilt trip?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

If to be sure you don't drink means you might have to live with some regrets, that might be a trade-off you need to make. I think you'll definitely have some huge regrets if you do drink. Protecting your quit does need to be a top priority right now. It might feel selfish but I don't think it is - it is necessary. :h NS

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

But you have decided NOT to drink. That has to be non-negotiable.

EDIT: I don't understand the Jerk reference - you are just trying to make the right choice. I don't think you're acting badly or being a jerk and like Gracie, I don't think there is any reason for you to feel guilty. If this is causing such anguish, maybe you should decline and once your are more secure in your quit, arrange to meet up with your dad in way that you are comfortable. Don't let this get bigger than it is and overwhelm you --- giving you a "reason" to just give up and drink. You don't drink, Jane, and everything follows from that.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

So your dad drives you to drink? :P

Are you feeling less confused now? Don't do it, you know that the real you doesn't want to. This is your addictive voice trying to trick you, to find a way back in. Remember K9. Think of all the good things you want in your life. Think of having a good visit with your dad, drinking something nice an af. Think about laughing and being able to remember all that was said. Think about driving home happy you made it through and being proud of yourself and not having a headache the next day.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Good job Jane! You surfed it! Something will work out for you to find a good way to connect with your dad. It will be OK. Have a good day!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Glad to see that your sense of humor is intact . Have a nice day, NS

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

THANK YOU Jane for posting and figuring it out here in the Nest! I just read the exchange and I am really happy you've come to the decision you have. I think it is imperative that we protect ourselves this early in the quit from anything and anyone that might cause us to drink!! Like both NS and Gracie said, you can deal with meeting him and for that matter, your feelings regarding meeting him later. First things first! I think I would try to come up with an "excuse" that is as close to the truth as you can handle. That might save you from some of the guilt you're feeling-- or the feeling like a jerk. You would definitely not be helping him or yourself or your relationship if you met him under these circumstances.. You have a lot of support here, Jane!!
p.s. I have a similar relationship with my dad-- and you and I are just about the same age.:l