Newbies Nest

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

New Dreams;1638140 wrote: Where is the toolbox?

Hi dreams. The "toolbox" is pinned at the top of the monthly abstinence forum. At least that's the only one I'm aware of.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Link to toolbox is below my signature.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

DreamThinkDo;1638111 wrote: :H:H:H:H:H:H
Oh Byrdie, this is just one of the reasons I love you so much!

Ditto!!! That quote is gold BL

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Quote:
Originally Posted by Byrdlady
Paris Hilton at a spelling bee!

DreamThinkDo;1638111 wrote: :H:H:H:H:H:H
Oh Byrdie, this is just one of the reasons I love you so much!

Ditto!!!!.........BL, that quote is gold!

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

New Dreams;1638147 wrote: Originally Posted by A Work in Progress:

Do You "Deserve" a Drink, Today?

I can't count the number of times I have seen someone come here and write a post in which s/he says that s/he has relapsed, or "slipped," because s/he had been doing well for a while, and decided that s/he "deserved" a drink.

And our alcoholic thinking does this to us. It totally bypasses the memory of the devastation, humiliation, and destruction that alcohol has brought into our lives, and it presents alcohol as a GOOD thing, a prize, a reward, something we want to give ourselves for a job well done.

I wrote a post a few days ago, about this way of thinking, but it was kind of buried in another thread. And I saw people talking about "deserving a drink," again today. What I wrote about was about changing our way of thinking from this self-destructive "Deprivation Mode" to a winning, successful, positive "Gratitude Mode." Here it is:

I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."

In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!

wip



Lavande...you(&others) often speak about being in Gratitude mode...I think after reading WIP summary I understand a little better....definitely have experienced the deprivation mode...looking to making the switch

Such a wonderful post New Dreams....So spot on the MARK! I agree with you a million percent. We must SHIFT our thoughts and swiftly remove any AL thoughts from our downtrodden AL brain. This post fits right into a quote I use alot from Einstein I think..." You cannot get yourself out of a problem with the same thinking that got you into it". I had a few wine romance thoughts this morning.......I DID NOT GO THERE!.....SHIFT!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Good MAE everyone. Start of a brand new day here. Day 21 for me.

There is so much positive vibe around here ATM. Reading the last 24 hours of posts. So many people staying so strong, displaying so much will power when tested in social occasions.

Looking at the role call, the numbers are really stacking up.:goodjob:

[New Dreams]

Newbies Nest

the thanks goes to WIP

Hi Lead & Rahul,
the thanks goes to WIP (work in progess)...I just reposted from the toolbox...because it was so timely for me (& I left the credit in when I reposted)
can't take credit for the original post.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Just dropping in to say hello! I traveled to my mom's house with my brother and my family to be with our mom for our brother's birthday (it is tomorrow and we like to try to be together on those anniversaries and birthdays.) it was ok. She must have taken a few pills because she wasn't quite sober. But we got through the day the best we could. I'm still glad we went. She needs us. Normally my brother and I would go get drinks after a stressful visit but I declined and I feel great that I did.
You never regret a sober day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I took advantage of the decent weather & spent the whole day outside
Still can't believe snow is on the way Monday - weird.

New Dreams, glad you found that post from WIP! I remember it well
This whole journey is so much easier when you stop missing AL & become mindful of all the good things happening in your life!

Petrel, Congrats on 21 AF days - great work!

Byrdie, I'd like to see a video of Paris Hilton in a spelling bee :H

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav!! I just ran for 90 minutes and then had a hot bath in my spa. Oohhhh. Niiccceee!!! My legs are sore and really needed that. Has been a long time. Might have to have them more regularly.

Sorry you guys in the US are still suffering with the cold. Magnificent day here in my part of the world. Sun shining, cool breeze on a Sunday morning. About to have brunch.

I hope everybody has a fantastic AF fun filled day!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Nurse, good work on no al, it makes an endurable day more endurable with no al involved. It is great that your brother supported you also in respecting you when you said no to al.

Happy 21 days for today petrel, got it right! I love nothing better than a spa just for the sake of having a spa really. See this is why i dont walk as no spa afterwards.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Seemed a waste not to use it. I've never used it since my wife and I parted ways in May last year. Now that I'm doing a lot more running, I remember from my younger days that a hot bath is rejuvenating. Seems a waste not to use it. I might even have to give the spa jets a run next time.

I'm having a chill out day. Might do some ironing and watch some of the Grand Prix from your wonderful city Ava!

[available]

Newbies Nest

I work not far from where the grand prix is and the noise we hear at work is unbelievable although for some reason it is quieter this year thank god. I did hear they had done something to the engines or whatever. Not my thing i am afraid, bit like ironing also ha ha.

Oh the jets are the best bits! Watch they dont rust by the time you use them. Me i am catching up on "once Upon a Time" and 'revenge", both new episodes and recooking rice. The rice must have been bad when the dogs wont even eat it! I am not reknown for my cooking skills!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

I heard a segment on the radio yesterday about the cars. A lot of advancement in the engines. It seems the GP has turned a bit green.

V6 instead of 4, but smaller displacement and turbo charged. Lower revs. About 14000 (if I recall) instead of 18000, which accounts for the drop in noise level. A very complex engine now. It takes them 10 hours instead of 5 to fit a new engine.

Good luck with the cooking.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Mmmm?.........maybe too much info about F1 cars in there.