Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone! Day 36 here and I must be feeling better b/c the mind is trying to open the door to permitting a drink here and there. It's a funny feeling to know what we know and yet still entertain the thought. I know what alcohol does to the body physically, mentally & spiritually. Yet as time goes by that knowledge and understanding fade as if it never existed. I admit it, I like to drink. Always classified myself an abuser and still do, rather than an alcoholic. My mind is the battlefield right now & my adversary is clear. I come here for support and understanding. I read of other peoples' battles to remind myself of the terrible side effects which the mind seems to dismiss over time. I would like to put drinking up on the shelf like I did w/cigarettes years ago. Now after something like 28 years of not smoking I wonder why and still don't understand why I ever smoked. ~~ Well guess I am just trying to figure out why my mind is toying with me. My only answer is that today I am not going to drink. I suppose that now after 5 weeks I need to develop a longer term plan. I know how to not drink just not sure how to say I will never. Frustrating! + !!!!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Hypernova, you stay strong ...this is the AL brain doing tricks on you. Byrdlady told about 4 months back when I was in a similar state "there are no vacations from sobrity" , you can't just start drinking thinking you are in control or have solved issue. I didn't listen to her and boom a month later I was in a pit again ... Cursing myself, guilty everyday.

Kenso congrats on your first day ... Next few days are hardest but the good news is it will be WELL worth the effort. Soon the fog will clear and you will be able to see life in a totally different way ... You will be free ...

Take care ..

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Day 24 : over !

I will be heading tomorrow night to a business trip Paris, Minsk and Amsterdam. Normally for this type of travel I am quite excited as I can drink at airport lounge ... Flights, in hotels etc etc... This time I plan to stay sober. I am confident and strong at this department but at the same time don't feel like going rather feel like staying at home with the family. I feel I have done enough of travelling and partying alone with AL.

Today was a dull day need to workout more, I want to look good , reduce weight and become fit ... Look like mid thirties ... Which I am ...

Good night and have a great day to those you have a day ahead ...

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

New Dreams;1639175 wrote: Is it a left brain/right brain things?
It is an evolutionarily primitive (reward seeker) vs evolutionarily advanced (rational) brain issue. We have both and if you let them get into a battle, the older, pleasure-seeking brain usually wins. That is why your rational brain has to thwart the primitive brain and set the stage for AF success. Right around your 'witching hour', that addicted brain is going to start working on you to drink so you've got to have all your tools in place to use immediately, without having to think about it.

I think you're hearing from that addicted voice here, Hypernova:

Hypernova;1639206 wrote: ...the mind is trying to open the door to permitting a drink here and there. It's a funny feeling to know what we know and yet still entertain the thought. ... I admit it, I like to drink. ... My mind is the battlefield right now & my adversary is clear. ... Well guess I am just trying to figure out why my mind is toying with me.

Just don't let that part of your brain make any important decisions for you, ok? Where alcohol is concerned, it almost always makes bad ones.

You have the answer and you've been doing it for 36 days: I know how to not drink just not sure how to say I will never.

Each day is always "today" and as you said, you know how not to drink today so if it seems overwhelming, don't worry about "never".

All the best, NS

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

I just wanted to post something that I am going through. Some of you know I've been trying to get into the Police Department for a while (ok...years!). I interviewed last week and they must have liked me because the next step is the background check. Keep in mind I already work for the government so I've been through one...but the Public Safety Background Check is no joke! I have to provide everything from my High School transcripts, marriage license, write an autobiography, etc, etc, etc. Well, I have 2 DUI's in my past. I also have it all over my medical records. I know that scares some of you (going to the doctor, getting it down in writing). As I thought about it, what better PROOF that I have been fighting (and winning!) this beast since November of 2011? It's ALL over my medical records that they are going to request. I was able to honestly answer that I have NOT missed any work due to too much alcohol since my sobriety date. I was very honest and open and now I know I have nothing to hide. For those of you fearing having it on your "record", in my opinion (take it or leave it), I think they prefer to see someone that acknowledges their problem and takes steps to correct it. Just thought I'd share.

Oh yes, and now I need all of you cross your fingers for me!!! :h

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Cross post Jane!!!

:l:l So sorry you had to say goodbye to your friend today. I lost my best canine friend last July. We shared the same bond you described. It may sound dumb, but that dog and I really understood each other. It's almost like she understood what I was saying. I can feel your pain and loss. Remember the good times with Kuma as I do with my Sandy. I keep a tag from her collar on my key chain. They will always be with us in our hearts! :h

Good job on not drinking, it wouldn't bring Kuma back anyway. Just feel better knowing you gave him a great life, and he DID love you!

K9

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Thanks NS for the effort and time you put into your post. I agree w/you and will heed your advice. Thanks

Rahul your words are also wise and I don't want to find myself in the pit again. Stay strong on your trip. Being out of your normal environment demands extra planning and effort. I know b/c a recent trip was my downfall. I think my next trip will have to be solo so that I can prove to myself it is possible to stay AF away from home. Best to you on your trip,

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Jane I'm so sorry.

Dogs (if you like them) are wonderful companions, loving and loyal. The pain of losing them is the price we pay for their love. Cliche but true.




K9, fingers crossed!

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

So sorry Jane. Stay strong. Your pup is in a better place. We just lost our 14 yr. old lab - she also had congestive heart failure. I can see clearer now that it has been a few months that she was ready to go - it was me that wasn't ready to let her go. The pain will ease - but I had to cry buckets! (((hugs)))

[New Dreams]

Newbies Nest

It is an evolutionarily primitive (reward seeker) vs evolutionarily advanced (rational) brain issue.

Thanks NS

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Thinking of you, Jane. I am so sorry to hear that today was the day that you so dreaded. I wish my words could ease your pain right now....please know we are thinking of you and grieving with you. Letting go of our dear friends is just plain hard. Hugs to you tonight. XXOO, Byrdie

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Jane I am so sorry...I know you will grieve but also remember all the joy.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Sorry for not posting yesterday, but I'm happy to report I successfully went 1 day AF! Felt very little cravings or anxiety. There were 2 main reasons for me not posting yesterday while abstaining, and thought I would mention them here in case it might help someone reading:

1) I kept myself physically busy, i.e, washing clothes, doing dishes, etc.

2) I thought several times of coming here to read/post, but I kept thinking to myself that if I did that then I would be doing nothing but thinking about AL, instead of distracting my thoughts OF AL. It seemed to work because I thought more about distracting my thoughts of AL. Hope that made sense.

I did have a little trouble going to sleep, but once I did, I slept hard and comfortably. Woke up this morning with a great deal of energy. Need to run and start cooking supper, but later tonight I'll come back and read everything I missed.

Have a happy MAE!

Love, Sarah

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, I am so proud of you I could pop! GREAT job!
Rinse and repeat! That's how it is done! I believe something so strongly I put it in my signature line, all you gotta do is get thru this day! Well done! Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Way to go Sarah! That's how you kick AL's ass...one day at a time. You got this!