Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,
Finally purchased a stove today. They will deliver next week. This is fine. I can use that as an excuse not to cook..
Weather was really nice today. Bought some seeds to plant but still a little bit to early. But I am so anxious....
Mindless TV tonight or clean out the DVR. Watched 4 shows last night and a few are still left to watch. Love technology...well sometimes anyway.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Not my best plan. People come here to drink. But holding strong. The AL voice is saying "just one sip." Not having any, will report later.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Left without incident, but stuff to explain later.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Way to hang strong! That first time is tough, great going on visiting MWO to check in! We are so proud of you! Im warming up your moon! You will never regret NOT drinking!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad you are holding onto your plan Kensho

Jane, hope you are feeling OK!

I had a great day with my daughter & granddaughter. They are on their way home now probably feeling as exhausted as I am :H
The weather was really pleasant so we were outside a lot. Sad to think the cold weather is going to make a return next week.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. This AF life is so much better

Lav

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

So, not to be an annoying repeating poster, but that sucked. Being in an old party spot reminded me of everything I used to do. Was offered beers left and right - and I actually pretended to take a sip because I got tired of telling everyone the same thing. Weakness on my part. That's when I left for an extended stay in the ladies room. I really missed the familiar - and the time there felt loooooooong. Later at dinner, the two TALL sprites kept me satiated and the food was good. It wasn't until the drive home at 8:30 that I really appreciated that I was sober. I enjoyed talking and giggling with my family, whereas I would typically have been quiet and tired, and probably irritable. Feel great now, but the whole event was really hard. I don't know if I missed the drink, or just the lifestyle - the way things were. I don't see how I can avoid events like that in the future, so I will have to figure out how to deal with it. I feel I have made a lot of progress on how to deal with the "at home" time. But the "going out" time was a challenge. I guess it's all a challenge until you do it and get better at it. I am ok now, but still missing the good old days a bit - trying very hard to remember the shitty parts of those days and mornings after. Had a bit of a longer conversation with hubby, and he doesn't get it like I thought he did. His words: "Well, most of the time one drink is all I need. You just have to have self control." The problem is that one is NEVER all I need, in fact it's a big downer - a teaser. And if it were all self control, why would I sneak around and hide bottles and have a separate credit card? SO the two weekend challenges still seem like challenges, BUT I MADE IT THROUGH THEM SOBER. Just longing a bit tonight. Thanks for listening. I hate that this is hard. How did I get here? Was I born this way, or did I make myself this way by indulging too much? I used to be able to have only one beer.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Kensho be proud of yourself for saying no, why do people insist that you have a drink. that happened to me on my first af venture and god i just wanted to say yes thanks and then proceed to obliterate myself. What i do now is not go if it is too tempting, there will come a time when i am ready to just be happy and content af. Do you miss the "good old days", i dont, i dont miss anything that i did when i drank, i thought i had a good time but could not remember lots of it. Its hard for people who dont drink like us to understand the daily battle of not drinking and wishing we could have one drink with all our heart but we know better, we cant have one drink.

Very proud of you Kensho in your grit and determination to beat al. It was a long road to travel to get us to where we were, i also wonder how i got to this point that al took over my life, how could i let al take full control over my life. al is sneaky and addictive, its when we feel out of control with hiding al, thinking about al, planning our next drink, neglecting the people that are most precious to us in life that we are out of control, lying. You name it and al has been the cause. It doesnt really matter how we got to this point, what matters is getting our lives back. You are totally succeeding with this.

God i used to have a 4 litre cask of wine in the fridge for a month or more. Those were the days, about 2000 days ago i am thinking.

[summering]

Newbies Nest

Made it through another weekend . Met a friend at the local Pub for appies , had water and coffee . Had a moment when I left ..there is a wine store attached and my friend kept saying , oh you should get a bottle of wine and relax , thought about it for a moment and left without the wine

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi,

Kensho - I get that tug sometimes, too. I am just a little over 100 days and I can definitely say that they get fewer and farther between, as well as much less strong. Tonight my family were oooohing and aaaaahing over a bottle of red wine and I just wanted a taste to see what they were talking about. I had a moment of - wtf, not even ONE sip of wine? Well, NO! I am with you - one wasn't enough ever there at the end of my drinking career. If the urge gets strong (which it really doesn't anymore, or hasn't in a while anyway) all I have to do is remember the way I felt, especially during the last weekend I drank. No sip of wine is worth feeling like that again, ever. I don't drink, and I am so glad I don't. Getting through that will build your sober muscles - great job coming here, too.

Summering - awesome you made it through the weekend. Don't you appreciate the better sleep and not waking up with the guilt, anxiety and shame at 3am? SO much better.

Aeg, Sorry I missed your hat party. Congratulations to you, too.

New Dreams, Lead - love the idea of aggressively telling alcohol to f*ck off! Who needs you, anyway.

Sounding strong, Rahul. Happy you stayed sober for your trip. Have a great run.

Glad you can cook again, Dot.

Lav - Nice you had a visit with your family and the weather to be outside - finally.

Byrdie - thanks as always for finding the right words at the right time.

Big hugs to Ava, Jane, TJAF, anyone else I missed. I can't go back any farther as I am tooooooo tired.

Night all. Stay sober - use that butt velcro (now that you know what it is).

Pav

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Well,another weekend down. 28 days. I ran for 2 hours today and I'm exhausted.
Goodnight all. Stay strong.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Cloudy & colder again as predicted but the memories of yesterday are still with me :H :H
Spring will get here when it gets here.......ugh.

Kensho, great work getting thru your evening out unscathed
Trust me, it will get easier as time goes on. You did yourself a huge favor, be proud!

Hi there Pav, ava, summering & everyone here in the nest!
Have a great AF Sunday!

Only three days until my big 5 year AF anniversary. Can you guess how happy I am right now?

Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Off to church then maybe lunch out.
Winter is back and it is 30F. Yesterday was lovely and like Lav said spring will get here when it gets here...boohiss....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Kensho, it is different to be virtually the only one at a gathering who doesn't drink. Right now,it doesn't seem fair. Normal reaction, really, when you look at everyone else who seems to be able to control his/her intake, it really sucks that we don't get to play. I look at it like this. I already consumed my share. Im not missing out, I just already drank it. It is easy to look at the others ooooing at aaaahing about the taste of a wine or a beer, but that's not the way I drank....I drank in desperate gulps from a hidden bottle in my closet. I drank from wine put in a hairspray bottle in my purse in a bathroom stall! I wasn't drinking to enjoy the NOSE of a wine I was after the buzz. So do yourself a favor and oooh and aaah about the things you CAN have, like the potato skins or a single scoop of ice cream. Take the focus off of being deprived and adopt an attitude of gratitude for your strength and commitment to an AF life. It takes some getting used to, but it will become a way of life just like our out of control drinking did.

Lead yourself not into temptation....be gentle to yourself in the early days and avoid drinking events if you can. If you were on a strict low carb diet, you wouldn't attend an all you can eat potato chip buffet! Same thing here, if drinking is the focus, best to avoid it for the first few weeks. You will get your legs, we didn't get here overnight and it does take some time to climb out, but it does happen! Great job!

Petrel, I am getting your hat ready! We have several coming up on roll call! Stay strong everyone! Don't let AL take one more day of your precious life! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nest. Lots of success around here. Great job. It's' work and stamina - kudos to everyone who is trying and keeps trying! I had a more in-depth discussion with husband last night. I was not prepared for him to be angry and disappointed. After all, I have been so proud of myself! I forgot that I was good at hiding this thing. The most I ever drank was one bottle of wine a night, but it was hidden. I snuck around and stole from the liquor cabinet downstairs - replaced it the next day. He felt like I was dishonest with him, and he is bummed that I have this issue. I think he still feels like it's a weakness in me - as though I should be able to control myself after one drink. I tried to explain that one drink only makes me think, and think, and think about how to get the next - and that is different than his thinking.

Hard issue - I was fearing this one. Not sure where to go with it, except that I know alcohol will not solve it, and that I have to use my life skills and weather through. May not be easy, but neither is hiding alcohol. Sucks but that's life.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone, and stay strong. Life is hard with or without alcohol - may as well experience it fully.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi all.

BL, thanks for the support and words of wisdom. Your advice to Kensho applies to everyone. Enjoying the other things in life is a great distraction. And there are other aspects in life to enjoy. Good company and food , spring to mind in these social events, that can be a challenge.

Kensho, at 6 days, you've got some real momentum now. Keep it going.:goodjob:

Well, at day 29, I've done a calendar month. I began my AF journey on Monday February 24. I've just woken up on Monday March 24. Feeling very happy with that.