Newbies Nest

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

available;1640734 wrote:

It was a long road to travel to get us to where we were, i also wonder how i got to this point that al took over my life, how could i let al take full control over my life. al is sneaky and addictive, its when we feel out of control with hiding al, thinking about al, planning our next drink, neglecting the people that are most precious to us in life that we are out of control, lying. .

Ava, it's a great question you ask......"how does it get to this point, that Al took over your life, and all of us here"?

A consistent wise piece of advice I often read here is......."one day at a time"' ......and........"today, I don't drink".......

It's amazing how those "one day at a time "days creep up on you, and take over. Just like Al did in a bad way. Creating new good habits I guess.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Jane, I don't pretend to know anything about rehab., but I know to succeed, the person has to really want it. They have to own their problem 100%. They have to have a good hard look at themselves and take full responsibility for getting themselves out of the problem they got themselves into. I know there can be circumstances that contribute to heading down the wrong path, but at some point, you have to own it. I just wonder if rehab programs really confront that head on. And at what point does the rehab. System say...."grow up!"

My sceptical side thinks that rehabilitation is a business like any other. You can guess the rest.

Jane, my initial plan was actually 3 months, so still a work in progress. You don't get rid of me that easily. My marathon goal is about 4.5 months, so I don't see myself losing the plot after 3 months. So a sober 50th birthday in 2 months is the plan. Ava is setting the standard there, very shortly.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Jane, the argument was that I wanted him to immediately support and "great job" me, but he was mad instead. So I got mad. I will give him time to process it and keep up my plan. He has GOT to see how much nicer and "present" I am.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kensho, remember my hubs gave me an ultimatum: Quit drinking or he was outta here.
I was flabbergasted when he would later OFFER me just one! I finally had a " Come to Jesus" meeting with him....I cannot drink. At all. He doesn't understand it completely, but he now accepts it, and that is good enough, I suppose. That's why I have you all! People that truly understand AND accept it!
My hubs missed his drinking buddy....but he got over it. In this battle I am very selfish. I have to be, Im in the fight of my life. I am present in every other way. This is quite a journey of discovery. I am so happy for your day 6!

Yes, Jane, wine in a hairspray bottle.
Byrdie

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

My hubs doesnt get it either and never will...he still asks if I want wine or go to a wine tasting..just because I have been doing so well he thinks it is OK now....nothing I can do about it..

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hello - am new here and glad to have found this site. I have been thinking about quitting forever and have tried too many times to count. I did quit last year for 2 months and felt fantastic. Then I tricked myself into thinking I had things under control. A glass or two of wine each week quickly became 3 glasses daily, and before I knew it I was back to 1/3 liter of vodka every day. I just came back from the store with the supplements listed on this site, which I started. I'm very worried about withdrawal, as I can't take off work and I have this fear of losing my grip on reality in front of my co-workers. But I've been using that excuse for too long and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of myself. Anyway, that's me in a nutshell. Nice to be here.

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Today is my quit day. It's been 13 hours.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Way to go Peppersnow! You could always find an excuse not to do this... great job making the decision to start!

Jane, I agree with you that that question is a trap. I guess that these first days of AF seem fragile and I need to have more positive encouragement than pessimism / anger / disappointment. You are right that my quit is completely up to me, but it helps to have support from family as well as you wonderful people. I don't like feeling like I have disappointed him, and I guess I feel a bit guilty for my issue affecting him. If I didn't have a problem with having only one drink, we could enjoy it together, and I've caused him to have to change his life and way of thinking. He will get over it, but it makes me feel bad. And I want to feel good about this. That's all.

Thanks all for your thoughts! Petral - way to go with the running!

[Thinkaboutit]

Newbies Nest

I am brand new and guidance seems to point to the Newbies Nest to start. However, when I went there, After the "welcome," I don't understand the posts, because it all seems to be insider stuff, people familiar with one another talking with each other. What am I seeing?

[Thinkaboutit]

Newbies Nest

Heck, do I have to go to the LAST page each time I come into this forum?

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Hi
You're in there now.

People 'know' each other because they are talking to each other. We all had a first post.

You're welcome to join in, read other threads as well, whatever you want.

I don't understand your second post, sorry!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Thinkaboutit;1640989 wrote: Heck, do I have to go to the LAST page each time I come into this forum?

It's one click of a button....

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Thinkaboutit;1640988 wrote: I am brand new and guidance seems to point to the Newbies Nest to start. However, when I went there, After the "welcome," I don't understand the posts, because it all seems to be insider stuff, people familiar with one another talking with each other. What am I seeing?

There is some Jargon here but you will soon get familiar with it. For example when I first started I could not decode what "AF" meant but then I asked and promptly received an answer. If you have a question please do ask.

AK

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Allan! Great to see you!
Welcome Pepper! So glad ypu found us! Remember to eat, it is the best weapon to stave of cravings!
ThinkAboutIt, welcome to you as well, read back several days to get to know us and then jump in. When you click on a thread just hit Last Page. You can set it up to display differently but I found that to be confusing so I leave the default. We are glad you're here.
Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Back home today. Last 4 to 5 days were with lot of travelling. I see a lot of posts and good to see everyone active.

Too tired now after this long fight so good night
Kenso : I can relate to you r feelings when you went there with ALL to a brewery and didn't drink. Well you are at early stage and it can be very miserable experience. I too have life surrounded by AL. And when I didn't have company I used to drink alone ... For me even staying alone also coukd be a trigger ... I am still working on my attitude ... I am having a feeling of gratitude when not drinking. I dont know if you have been seeing my posts since last few weeks now. All of them have been about how proud I feel not drinking when put to situations like the one you were. I just came back from a business trip sober ... The kind of drink where I would drink myself to glory ..

WE must protect our sobriety, we must respect it,nurture it and maintain it. I am not an expert there are so many other senior peoples to give advice here ...

Peppers way to go ... You will feel days better and nights even better after few days.

Petra : awesome to see you r working out and preparing for marathon .. Wish you all the best