Newbies Nest

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Such inspiring words by Lav and Byrdie! TY!!

Congrats to Pet, Kensho Jane, and so many of you that I cannot name (ughhh this site). All of you are an inspiration to me no matter your quit time. I'm still struggling myself, but the more I read here, the more I become inspired. I haven't given up...at all. I know I WILL do this.

Many blessings to all of you wonderful ppl!

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Such inspiring words by Lav and Byrdie! TY!!

Congrats to Pet, Kensho Jane, and so many of you that I cannot name (ughhh this site). All of you are an inspiration to me no matter your quit time. I'm still struggling myself, but the more I read here, the more I become inspired. I haven't given up...at all. I know I WILL do this.

Many blessings to all of you wonderful ppl!

Sarah

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Well, my day 30 draws to a close. I feel a lot better now than I did when I woke up. Hopefully a good nights sleep ahead.

Rahul, nice photos. Great inspiration to go on a holiday. Thanks for your support. I read you've been running too. Do you go in any events? I find fun runs, races etc very inspirational, and a great social day out with like minded people.

Jane, you always have something nice to say. I think sharing our experiences on here benefits others and ourselves.

Pav, Dreams, thank you. There is hardly a day go by when I don't think, " at the end of 3 months or 4.5 months, will I have a drink to see what it's like to experience that again?"
But I find I quickly think of the negative effects the next day. Even if I'm not sick, I'm usually listless, depressed, unmotivated, while knowing that's it's also detrimental to my physical health. Essentially shortening my life if I get addicted again. And I think of all the positives.
There seems no logic to go there.

Ava, thank you for that rendition of one of our many unofficial green and gold national anthems! My personal favourite is Khe Sanh.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Gidday Nesters!

Congrats on 30 days Petrel!

Cool pics Rahul, thanks for sharing.

Keep up the great work everyone. G bloke.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Tuesday morning, cloudy & quite cold in my portion of the nest - where's Spring?
We're actually supposed to have a bit of snow later.

Greetings to everyone! Sending wishes for a great AF Tuesday for one & all!
I've had that 'One day at a time' line in my signature for years for good reason

Lav

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

8 days in. To anyone considering whether to drink or not to drink - or maybe wanting to understand more about WHY they drink - the only way to do it is to take a break from it. It has been uncomfortable, but not unbearable. And what I have learned about myself the past week has been unbelievable.

I woke up this morning with several thoughts:

1. I haven't woken up at 3am in - well, 7 nights. How very nice it is to have sound sleep.
2. I am still so tired, even with 8-10 hours of sleep per night. I realized I was riding on adrenaline much of the last few years. I have thrown my body chemistry ALL out of whack with the schedule I was keeping, and the daily coffee/alcohol routine. It will likely take awhile to balance this back out - another reason for me NOT to drink. I think it may be why my memory seems worse too.
3. I drank for EVERY ailment. Feel a headache coming on? No problem - alcohol will numb it. Had a long backpacking hike out and feet hurt? A beer or two will send the pain on its way. Mad at your husband? No problem - a shot of Jack will solve it because you won't feel so angry. Feeling bummed that you are drafting at 10pm? Quick little nip of vodka. 2pm?....DANG! I used it for everything!
4. I really wanted a drink last night. Between 4-8. I wouldn't drink one now (8am) if you paid me, and right at 8pm, the craving subsided. This is so strange to me - that my brain is so wired for this stuff.

So my conclusion is that, even though I feel a void in the evenings - a hole of time that is not being satiated by alcohol - I think my body will rebound over time. And this is huge for me. I absolutely hate feeling controlled by something - I just want to live my life. And today, I feel hope that I will be able to do just that.

Jane, thank you for the memoir ideas. I have always loved memoirs (fav's being Angela's Ashes, and Plenty of Candles, Lots of Cake - a good one about drinking too). I am also interested in books that explain the science behind alcohol, the brain and craving - if anyone has recommendations.

Have a day filled with gratitude and acceptance! Hearts to you all - my lifeline. :h

[Just A Gal]

Newbies Nest

Feeling it

One day AF...it's a start! Made it 3 days two weeks ago...so my goal is at least 4 days...maybe by then I won't feel so yucky when I wake up. Got a pretty good headache, and the thought of facing 28 thirds graders in about an hour...ugh. But I can do it! I've taught with worse hangovers than this..but this feels almost worse! I know it'll get better though! May have to peek in the toolbox for some tips!
Hubby's last graveyard was last night, so tonight will be challenging. I really want to talk to him about what's going on with me, but I'm sure he'll have been drinking when I get home, if not drunk, and that's not a good time to talk. I know that from experience.
Anyway, good morning all!
Also...way to go Kensho!:h

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
DTD, so good to see you!!! And all the brand new newbies! Welcome and pull up a twig.
There were so many great posts overnight...it is just amazing to me how much better everyone feels when the beast gets out of our bodies!

Petrel, I was struck by one thing you said about "if I get addicted again". I know you said it in passing, but it's worth pointing out, addiction is like riding a bicycle...you never unlearn it. I do not ever fool myself into thinking I'm no longer addicted to AL...I am as much today as I was 1161 days ago. I am one drink away from going right back down the hole. So don't ever think there is a vacation from the fun! This is a lifelong party and we got an invitation! Always be vigilant! Not one, not ever!!! So as I climb down from the soap box, here's wishing everyone a bright and beautiful day. Don't let AL take ONE more day of your precious life! Hugs all, XO, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1641513 wrote: . I am also interested in books that explain the science behind alcohol, the brain and craving - if anyone has recommendations.

Congratulations on having more than a week AF behind you, Kensho!

Nora Volkow, Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse., has done a great deal of work concerning the biology of addiction. This talk is a good place to start: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoSARbXLjjo[/video]]Big Think Interview With Nora Volkow - YouTube.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Thanks NoSugar - I forgot about youtube.

Byrdie - I'm bummed to hear your thoughts about addiction. I really hoped I could "break" it someday - not because I want to drink, but because I don't want to have cravings my whole life. 1161 days?? That's amazing! I was going to ask you your number. So tell me, do you still crave it? Do you still crave it like you did at 8 days AF?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1641535 wrote:
Byrdie - I'm bummed to hear your thoughts about addiction. I really hoped I could "break" it someday - not because I want to drink, but because I don't want to have cravings my whole life. 1161 days?? That's amazing! I was going to ask you your number. So tell me, do you still crave it? Do you still crave it like you did at 8 days AF?

The day to day cravings go away quite quickly, Kensho, as long as you don't drink and don't put yourself in situations that psychologically trigger those feelings. Even after a relatively short time, those cravings are much more mental than physical and the more effort you put into changing your brain, the sooner you won't experience anything like a craving.

Apparently we'll always have the potential to drink addictively if we drink at all, but the addiction (and all that goes with it) is entirely controllable. I can't even remember the last time I craved alcohol. So don't worry, the struggles of the first week are not permanent and if you don't drink again, you'll never have to experience this again. It is so worth it!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1641541 wrote: The day to day cravings go away quite quickly, Kensho, as long as you don't drink and don't put yourself in situations that psychologically trigger those feelings. Even after a relatively short time, those cravings are much more mental than physical and the more effort you put into changing your brain, the sooner you won't experience anything like a craving.

Apparently we'll always have the potential to drink addictively if we drink at all, but the addiction (and all that goes with it) is entirely controllable. I can't even remember the last time I craved alcohol. So don't worry, the struggles of the first week are not permanent and if you don't drink again, you'll never have to experience this again. It is so worth it!!

I agree with NoSugar! I was just watching that article you posted, it was fascinating.

No, I do not crave AL at all and I haven't since about Day 13. So do not worry about that aspect of this journey. I say that to say this: Don't think you can rewire this thing and drink again. I tried that, 1000's have tried that....we are what we are. Addiction doesn't go away, we learn to manage it. Trust me, the only way I would ever drink again were if I were too drunk to say no. Bah! that means, as long as I'm under my own power, I will not drink again. That stuff was trying to kill me. Only when you can get some real distance from it, can you objectively see what it was doing...it takes a while, too. We are saying goodbye to a long time companion and it took quite sometime to let it go and accept it. I HATE AL. I have no desire for it at all. I fear it, and I respect it.... as I would a rattlesnake. Your grip will let go, but you must starve it. It's a lot like a stray animal, if you feed it, it's yours. B

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Woke up today with my grumpy pants on....not sleeping well these days and not sure why. So much to think about right now might be the reason. I have tons to do and no desire to do anything so I may just be a slug today....

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1641550 wrote: I fear it, and I respect it.... as I would a rattlesnake. Your grip will let go, but you must starve it. It's a lot like a stray animal, if you feed it, it's yours. B

I agree, Byrdie. And this is where we actually do have the control. We are not powerless over this addiction unless we choose to be by taking that drink.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Kensho, when I first arrived here, I had to take a lot on trust from the long-timers - Birdy, Lav, NoS, K9. They said I'd feel better after some AF time. I did. They said drunks can't moderate. I didn't believe them then, I do now (and sing from the same hymn sheet). They said AF life would be wonderful. It is. So, when they say the cravings do go away, believe them. The physical ones go away a lot quicker than the mental ones. It will take some time to untangle yourself from that spider's web, but it will happen.

Sarah, I so wish I could bottle that sober feeling and let you sniff at it as an incentive...

Off to a birthday celebration - and yes, without my bottle. Fun can be had without it, as I've discovered!

Butt velcro, all!