Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Hope everyone enjoyed the party yesterday
Beginning year 6 today & I am grateful!

Jane, fantastic on 80 AF days :wd:
Keep moving forward, you'll have nothing to regret!

Sarah, I hope you know that as adults it doesn't matter what other people think. What matters is what you think - think positive

Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters...
My job is serving smoothies this morning...SHIT SHAKES!!! UGG....so I must attend to CRAP, but must check in and say quickly...

Sarah, YOUR note made ME tear up! Thank you for the kind words!!

Jane, this is a record!
:record: GREAT job on your 80 days!!! I'm excited for you!!!

Kens, way to Ride the Wave!! double digits is huge!!

Petrel, 30 days and climbing altitude and gaining attitude! GREAT JOB!

Off to the salt mines...back later! Hugs all, B

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Jane congrats on 80 days!!! That is fantastic. You should be very proud of yourself!!
Off to visit dad, Costco then pick up a friends hubby and off to a trip presentation. Then maybe out to dinner...maybe that is why I am not losing any weight???? drat...

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning All! Woke up tired (again), but feeling very positive today! I always seem to feel very optimistic in the mornings.

Rahul, eating a lot last week WAS very helpful. I just keep thinking that I'm excited to get this wine ring off my belly (something I was really looking forward to) - and eating all the simple carbs will only keep it there! But, if it means not drinking... I look forward to that balance where good wholesome food + exercise = lean. Being full does help with cravings - but I also wonder if the carbs and crap actually perpetuates the cycle? Anyone want to weigh in?

Jane - craving started at 4:00-ish (typical for me is 4-8 most nights). I had been doing accounting all day (absolutely HATE that)! My eyes were tired and my brain was fried. I just kept thinking, "drinking would be such a nice feeling right now. Take the edge off, numb the overworked left side of my brain" (I am very right brained by nature). And then hubby came home and expressed himself to my son in a way that I disagreed with - stress that could easily be "softened" with a couple shots. I longed for that "feeling". I was feeling a little depressed last night. I found myself wondering if AL was a self-medication for depression for me. I must say that I was closer to caving than I have been so far.

But I remembered my commitment to myself, and I checked in with you all. Got lots of "just don't do it" responses, and my reason kicked in, and eventually beat out my indulgent brain. I CHOSE to remember all of the reasons I didn't want to drink. If you think you can't go 30 days without AL, well I say YOU CAN! You just have to choose to do it - COMMIT TO IT, and then use your tools. It was very clear to me last night that I was the one making the decision to drink or not drink. I believe that after 30 days, the next 30 will be easier.

Yesterday, I didn't spend much time thinking about my AL battle, and I didn't prepare or use my tools during the day. It's so much work! I really needed some normalcy back in my life, to counteract the strangeness of this shift. But it left room for the irrational asshole AL voice to speak - "you will be able to drink someday - why not now? You never really had any serious repercussions from drinking - just let it make you feel better." And honestly, I've found myself evaluating, HOPING, I will be able to enjoy a half glass of wine some day. Allowing myself to question that is making the "quit" hard. And the more I read, the more I realize that even if I had the actual will power to do that (not really sure that I could), I would be in a perpetual state of "depriving" myself - much like I am now. And the one thing I keep expressing is that I don't want to feel like this any more - craving every night. The actual act of moderating would be like a constant battle of saying no. So why not just remove the option? Is it really that important that I partake? And would it ever be for the purpose of just partaking, or would it always be for the reasons listed above - to satiate some Neanderthal part of my brain and numb my discomforts away?

SO, Jane, sheer grit - along with remembering how to talk back to AL voice, AND the support of you all are what got me through (and cheerleading on the kitchen floor - lightened the mood - YES, I actually did some cheers and my kids thought I was crazy!). I am as committed as ever to 30 days AF, and I am seeing rewards daily. Not drinking has not caused any external disruption in my life, only discomfort in my own head - so that is where the fight remains. I have told two close friends now, and they have just kind of shrugged and said, "great - good for you". I realize that this issue is mine - and true friends are just supportive - and then move on with THEIR day.

Thanks all for your support. This really is a journey, with bumps along the path, glimpses of beautiful views, and lots of learning. I can see that there are multiple issues I have on my plate to understand before I have a true handle on this fight - and I am as certain as ever that I could never understand the true nature of those issues if I was buzzed every night. If you think you are not ready to "not drink", ask yourself if maybe you are feeling that you are just not ready to deal with your issues - because I think that is what it comes down to. Unfortunately, my past alcohol use not only masked those issues, but it addicted my body and brain, and that makes it even harder now. We, as a society, need to do more educating of our youth, because - honestly - I didn't know I was in this as deep as I am until I quit. And I would have never started using it if I knew what I was getting myself into.

Keep up the great work everyone! :h

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Kensho

You wrote

but I also wonder if the carbs and crap actually perpetuates the cycle? Anyone want to weigh in?

.

There seem to be 2 categories of people around here regarding this:
1. Those for whom sweets are a good substitute for AL in terms of rewarding that beastie brain in a (relatively )healthier way.
2. Those for whom eating one sets up a cycle of wanting more and more and more of both.

There are some threads devoted to this topic you might want to look over.

NS

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Sugar/candy is a trigger for AL and AL is a trigger for sugar....I get horrid cravings if I have had desert or candy...so I am really trying to stay away from it.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Kensho - Great job getting through the craving! Remember: A craving will never last as long as a hangover!!

I also wanted to congratulate Honeysoup...she has 7 days today!!! I'm so proud of you Honey! :h

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

All set for Dubai tomorrow going with family to next few days will be quite busy in a different way...having fun ! I called a friend of mine today an ol college buddy whom I will be meeting after 10 years now. Plan to meet at 4 ... He said "great so party begins at 4 !!" Hmmm ... I know he is thinking about boozing ... I will disappoint him by ordering a diet coke ... What fun it will be ... Will look forward to seeing his face ... I can imagine him saying :
"Are you sure you won't even have one ?" (What he will really mean is -"yikes !! Please have one so that I can also drink !") ... Only an Alcoholic knows how our brain works

I wonder if someone has fun disappointing people ... Like plan to do so !

Kenso ... I suggest you do what ever to curb your craving, eat food or have soda ice creams etc. you can think about losing weight after 3 weeks or so. Or you may follow Petra and run 2 hours a day !!

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, I think the disappointment felt by others that we don't drink is far less than we build it up to be. If they aren't alcoholics themselves, they can easily re-direct themselves do do other activities! Stay strong - your life is more important as his reaction!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Jane a big congrats on 80 days well done and very very proud of you. Not long till the big 100 and that is something to strive for as for me when i hit 100 i finally felt i had achieved what was unachievable and such a proud feeling.

Honey 7 days woo hoo and the worst is behind you. Keep it up.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

HoneySoup, it looks like K9 and Available are butting in to the Prize Patrol's job!!! Bahahaha.....GREAT JOB on your 7 days!!! Here is your moon from your fellow nesters!!
:moon:

We are so proud of you!! xo

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Sometimes I wonder where are you guys/gals in which part of world ... What's the age, sex ... Is there a place on MWO to see that ? I am 36 Male from India for anyone who might be keen ...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, I bumped up a thread for you called 'Where are you from?'. Interesting to see where we all are, it's been some time since that thread was active, but I remember being struck at the time that there weren't more Asian and Russian folk on here! Take a look at it, quite interesting.

Jane, I am stowing away in your suitcase, so LOOK OUT! I want some warm weather (fists pounding).

The end of another trying day at work! Some days it's all I can do to keep some choking somebody!!! Thank goodness I have all new coping skills now...no choking allowed. (shame)

Hope everyone has a relaxing evening....I'm going to take a bubble bath and watch mindless tv!! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1642452 wrote: NS, can you point me to the threads relating to the type for whom sugar addiction becomes an issue?

Hi, Jane

These are some threads:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-72-70446.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f6...ion-46379.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-44-81267.html

Apparently the MWO book also recommends not eating sugary foods. The web has many articles explaining links between food and AL addictions.

I don't know if there is a way to know which group you fit into other than just noticing how you respond. Even if sugar is useful for getting off AL at the beginning, many people then have to deal with that secondary dependence later. It all gets so complicated!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

CONGRATS on 7 AF days HoneySoup - keep going

Jane, I turned into a sugar-holic for a short time when I quit drinking. I got sick of that pretty fast so I turned to L-Glutamine for a week or two & broke that habit real quick
The L-Glutamine actually didn't 'agree' with me so I didn't stay on it for too long but it worked!

I hear there's three days of rain on the way - no kidding. This is the prize we get for enduring the never-ending winter???? Oh well. Maybe Spring will show up next week

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. I'm hanging out by the warm fire

Lav