Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Rain later today too..boohiss....but at least it is NOT snow..
Off to the gym then I will attempt a "small" part of the mess to clean up. Good idea and one I know but fail to follow. Lots of laundry to do so I should be busy all day. NO fun but busy...

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Morning all...

Hyper - you will find in time that AL is no "friend" of yours! Keep putting one foot in front of the other - I will be thinking about you today!

Go get 'em Byrdie! Get 'em laughing!

Keep it going Pepper! You and I are near the same part of the lake - let's keep swimming!!

Cheers (wrong salutation?) to a sober weekend with family. I'm imagining the mountain air being that much cleaner and crisper without the fog of AL poison! Hugs to all - have a stellar day!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav will miss you all while incognito but thinking airport will have wifi and i will be at the airport a lot today.

Byrdf get some spit into you please.

Pepper congrats on your 11 days, i plan on giving up fags when i get back from thailand. Think i am ready to be rid of another crutch. This year is the year for a lot of good things to happen in my life.

Kensho you wil be fine, make us proud.

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Ns, DreamThink, Available, Lavande & Kensho thank you for your time and thoughtful posts! They have helped give me some positive energy to draw on. ~~ My take from your insights, is Time & Patience ~ Forget the past & don't spend any energy on it....it's over ~ Don't let alcohol fool me into thinking it's my friend or it has anything good at all to offer me ~ I'm going to learn patience (if it kills me) ~ I will start as Kensho pointed out by putting one foot in front of the other & don't look back. This is a weakness of mine - Dwelling on things that are over & ruminating on how I could have done things differently or what I could do now to change the outcome which of course was always beyond my control (what a waste of time and energy) ~ I am going to put effort into accepting reality as it is ~
Thanks everyone for making me feel so much better. I am satisfied with how far I've come but also realize complacency can undo it in a heartbeat. I am going to seek out positive pursuits & people. Very comforting to know this place is always here for me.
I leave you with a quote from Thoreau:


" Pursue some path,
however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence."

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hypernova, I am so glad you made it over your rough spot. They happen. I was just over on the roll call and noticed a couple folks who started together and one was now ahead of the other. I thought, DAM, i coulda had a whole extra year on my date if I had stopped all the bullshit to myself. Then I pushed that negative thinking out. It serves no purpose other than to bring me down! I didnt take the easy route on this journey, but I am on the right track now and I cant walk into the future carrying the burdens of the past. Let it go, I remind myself!

My presentation is tomorrow morning, thanks for your well wishes!! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Good luck tomorrow Byrdie!

Just checking in - thanks for asking Pav - things are going OK. Work is stressful but I'm so happy I'm not feeling tired every day like I used to because of drinking too much! I don't have too many cravings but I still think about drinking a lot. When I do I remind myself why I'm here and that works. The big problem for me is that I cannot seem to bring myself to say never again even though I know where I will wind up if I don't. There's that small part of my brain (oh, I know who that is, don't I?) keeps telling me can't I just have one glass of wine here and there on special occasions? Yet this (special occasion only) was my moderation approach so many times...It DOESN'T WORK!! The fact that this has not sunk in to my seemingly stupid brain irritates the $&!!# out of me! It is a mindset/acceptance that I know I need to have but speaking perfectly honestly here - I just don't have it yet. I am still hanging in there one day at a time! I have no plans to drink but I just can't seem to tell myself I never will again. This is worrisome to me.

One day at a time - that's all I can do right now!

Hope everyone else is doing well. Kairos if you check in tonight good luck on your walk!! I'll miss "seeing" you around but look forward to your return

Lead - hope you are ok - glad you bounced right back!

Frances

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Frances, that mindset will come in time. I was just like that for quite while! But after hanging out here now for over 4 years, the only feelings I have for AL are anger and hatred. That took a while tho, so baby steps still apply. I cant imagine WANTING to drink again after all the destruction it has caused me and my friends here. It never ends well, so NO, I will not be drinking and I am perfectly fine with it! One day at a time...thats all we gotta do! So happy for your huge day count!! Xxoo, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Frances, that mindset will come in time. I was just like that for quite while! But after hanging out here now for over 4 years, the only feelings I have for AL are anger and hatred. That took a while tho, so baby steps still apply. I cant imagine WANTING to drink again after all the destruction it has caused me and my friends here. It never ends well, so NO, I will not be drinking and I am perfectly fine with it! One day at a time...thats all we gotta do! So happy for your huge day count!! Xxoo, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wishing you the best on your presentation Byrdie - knock em dead

Frances, the one thing that really helped me with the 'never again' thing was honesty. As I approached my first 30 AF day mark I had to ask myself a few questions. 1. Was I really ready to attempt to moderate by having just one drink? and 2. Did I have another quit left in me? The honest answer to both questions was NO!
That's really when I accepted the 'never again' thing & was truly grateful that I had finally gotten the message

I hope everyone had a great day & I'm sending wishes for a safe night for all!

Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Incredibly inspiring post by Not happy hour hall life here:

Welcome Taya!

I first found this web site a couple of years ago, stayed for about 4 months- found myself "addicted" so to speak of being on here versus living in the "now" with my family.... drifted away, told myself I could "moderate", and like you, I pretended to have a normal relationship with alcohol.

Well, I'm back, this time, with a strong conviction that I must change- and I'm proud to say that I haven't drank since early February. When I was growing up, my dad never had a relationship with alcohol, but my mom did.... I remember being 17 years old and getting suddenly woken up by my dad at 3 in the morning with a question: "How much did your mother drink last night?" You see, my dad would go to bed at 10 pm and my mom was a "night owl"- would stay up and drink her hidden cocktails and watch the Tonight Show, Night Line, and then maybe "Baretta".

On that night, after my mom went to bed, she woke up to use the bathroom and rather than taking a left to return to her bedroom, she took a right and fell down the flight of 8 steps.

Onto the marble floor.

My dad heard her fall, and found my mom with two broken wrists, a broken nose, a broken jaw, a screwed up knee cap.... we called 9-1-1. When my mom got to the hospital, they tested her BAC and she was at a .23- so while she was in severe pain, they could not give her any drugs until she dried out. Horrific to see my mom like that- remember, I was only 17.

With two broken wrists, she was literally crippled, and could not drink. As an impressionable young lady, I vowed "I would never be like her"...

Guess what, Taya, I grew up to be just like her. The difference is that I didn't literally fall down the proverbial stairs, but in some ways, I was worse. You see, I thought my kids didn't notice my drinking, and they did. Read my other posts to see my life journey.

The first day to go alcohol free is physically hard to do- the physical withdrawals can be intense- you may be short tempered, your mind may race with a million reasons why you are "over reacting".... and this little temptress called Pinot Noir may quietly tap you on the shoulder and tell you to "just have a little glass to take the edge off".

Knowledge is power. If you know this is normal, you can combat it- prepare for it... buy a special drink, like a new tea, or sparkling water and cranberry juice with a twist of lime- so that when you get this feeling, you fill your drinking hand with a healthy alternative.

You come on here. You journal, you read, you cry. You post. You decide.

I found a website for women about sobriety and they advocate doing a journal. Whether you are religious or not, journaling your reasons why YOU want to change YOU can help you decide what your next day will hold.

Taya, tell yourself that you CAN drink tomorrow- just not today. Bargain with yourself that you need 30 days to decide whether you will quit drinking all together, or if you will decide to try to moderate. But for today, you will stop.

The money is in the morning! When you wake up, and that hazy feeling you mention.... where you are half-assing it through the morning... when you wake up and THAT feeling isn't there --> WOW!

It's not all sunny days and roses. Remember, even roses are grown in manure, and there is weeding to be done and thorns to avoid. But the beauty is when you KNOW that YOU are truly there for your children.... when YOUR children don't have to think, like I did, "I will never be like her."

Patty
__________________
"God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all:

Frances - when I felt like that I did what Lav and Byrdie say. Take it one day at a time. I never fully understood that saying until I had to live it with alcohol. I really didn't want to say forever and yet I knew I couldn't drink. What did I have to do? Stay sober for that day. That's all it takes. Also, take note of what in your life is better without alcohol - every time you think like that, think of the good that is coming out of not drinking. That's the attitude of gratitude they talk about here. If all else fails, go find your first post - remember what brought you here and what you don't want to go back to. I also have taken up a mantra given by 3June - if only one, why not none? Do you REALLY only want one? I sure don't... Rather, I sure didn't. I don't want any now, and I'm not just saying that. I don't want to be "the person who doesn't drink" but I also don't want any of the crap alcohol brought into my life. Good riddance.

Hypernova - I remember around 50/60 days I was in a FUNK. It was a feeling of really? This is me? This is my life? I can't drink? Really? I posted about it, and Ava, my quit partner in crime, was feeling the same way. It took a while to get out of, but we posted a lot (and by our standards that means A LOT (love you, Ava)). Some very wise people from all over this site always have good advice, experiences, jokes, ideas - anything you need. I do recommend staying close.

Jane, I have Ava's other pant leg, but I guess we have to let her have her fun. Can't wait to hear about the trip.

Byrdie - hope you get some spit - I have seen those presenters with the dry mouths... Keep a glass of water close by. It is funny that someone who has been doing what you do for a while (actually, I realize that is just an assumption - I don't really know) still gets nervous. As a teacher who stands in front of the faculty regularly, I still get a high-pitched voice and red blotches from time to time. Anyway, I digress. Break a leg (or break Jane's leg if you must).

Good night, Nest.

xo
Pav

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

mornin all tis early doors here but just thought I would jump in before I go out on me travels today....just bimbling about on the threads and saw a coupla old faces ....(not literally!!)on here so thought I would put my tuppence worth in...its 21 months tomorrow since I first found this site by sheer accident ,feeling like shit after another kiddology day...only had a couple of cans of strong lager...conveniently forgetting the half bottle of vodka and the other cans..At the time I was down pissed off ,had done so many "right this is the last day scenarios" it was unreal..and through what I reckon was desperation ,trawled tinternet and found mwo...put up a quick short message to say I wanted to stop but didnt know how please help...I got 3 replies within that day..from 3 very special people..the gist of it was whats your strategy get a strategy whats your plan...that I did and havent looked back...yes its been challenging at times,but hand on heart now if I had the choice..there wouldnt be a choice!!
Reason Im writing this is ..this is where I started,in exactly the same position,so never ever think it wont or cant work for you...there is a lot of support here for you...all in return that is required is honesty, guts ,determination,pride in what you are doing..because anyone who doesnt drink ,once they have got some fair time in..I would dispute that when they tell people they dont drink ..there is a little ping of pride inside...
thank you

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Just a quick hover and away again for me today:


Mick said it all:

Mick;1644482 wrote: if I had the choice..there wouldnt be a choice!!

Have a lovely AF day, everybody - and Byrdie, you'll be fine!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Welcome to AF Thursday

DTD, that is one beautiful coffee mug!!!!!!

Mick, can't remember the last time I saw you here! Thanks for stopping in

Hi Pav! It's true, staying close to the nest is a great tool to help anyone succeed! We learn from each other & share a common bond & mostly build strength here.

Ican, that traumatic experience with your Mom may not have prevented you from picking up your first drink but it can still serve you now. Let it be a true reminder of what can happen to any of us if we allow AL back into our lives!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mornin nesters!
Mick, GREAT to see you!!
Im off to my meeting! Pav, I have been doing this for 26 years (i started when I was 2), but I have performance anxiety! Funny thing is, I am presenting to a chain of adult lingerie/novelty stores!!!

I will check in tonight! Be strong, nesters! Mick, dont be a stranger! We love hearing from you!! Byrdie