Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1645299 wrote: . Anyway we just spent two days on a trip w them (the friends) and they are coming for dinner tonight. The obsession has cranked up again. I don't want to end the friendship but it's frustrating as hell! Additionally they all have drinks when we are together and start laughing and such and I sit there ith my obsession looking like the uptight bitch.... I hate it and I'm mad about it. I want to drink to fit in .... I am on medication for ocd incase anyone is wondering.... I could use some support com y'all as I'm walking a fine line here

Hi, Ican

This sounds really hard. You've spent a good amount of time with these friends and it seems like you want to keep them as friends. If you aren't feeling better about this by now, could you possibly come up with an excuse to cancel the dinner this evening?

You probably don't want to do this or have to make up an excuse, but this long AF period you have is worth protecting - no matter what it takes. I suspect you'll be able to manage your OCD and be a better wife and mother and better friend to these friends and others if you can stay AF. Canceling this evening could be a price worth paying while you gain a grip on what is bothering you.

I'll be thinking of you. Take care of yourself. :h NS

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all!!!! I agree that some distance is in order- it can't be tonight but it will come. We don't actually spend that much time w them normally... We happened to buy a trip w them last year and that is the reason for this 3 days together.... There is sooooo much involved in this situation I will have to explain later. I've just taken a nap which hopefully will help and I'm stocked up on AF beer.... I know I won't drink tonight I just had to vent. I will tell you all the while story soon

Thank you all!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ican,
Drinking AT the bitch wont do a thing to elevate your feelings of self worth, guess what, it does just the opposite! Additionally, drinking AT hubs wont fix your feelings of insecurity, guess what else, AL makes that worse, too. Been there and got the teeshirt. Guess what else, the kind of drinking WE do is not to fit in, its to get drunk. So all in all, if you are feeling insecure about this woman and your hubs, the ONLY way to show your CONTROL over the situation is to stay sober! Any thing else will only prove your insecurities are right! Stay strong, NOTHING is improved for us by ALCOHOL. She is not worth it. If the friendship is causing undue stress to you, put it on hold. Protect your quit like a pot of gold. We are right by your side. Do NOT let AL win! byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Day over sober ..

Good to see available that you are doing well and truly enjoying life and not "enjoying" alcohol. I too will be having travel next month to Germany and Sri Lanka. Plan to stay sober.

Great post pav ... A low is low and it cannot be compared

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
I just finished reading the book. Topa sounds good but what was wondering what people experienced as side effects. Some sound scarry. I tried a very restricted diet and lost a lot of hair and do not want to go through that again.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
Got out today to enjoy the slightly warmer weather. We just drove around and looked at old houses...nothing special just getting out.
church tomorrow then maybe look at cleaning up the mouse poop in the garage....what fun...bleh!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Ican no one is worth drinking AT remember that. I can only imagine your OCD, well i cant really but i am sending you hugs and you are doing amazingly well. are there any relaxation doobies you can listen to. If you think you are boring try throwing in "i love to run naked through the streets", may think you are then a total oddball but who cares lol. As you can see i have nothing but thinking of you and big hugs.

Lucky i knew who you meant but i wish pav was here with me, we would have a ball soaking up those massages and pedi's and celebrating the af life. I am proud of mum for not drinking much also as she has always been a 3 to 4 glasses of wine a night to relax person so she is helping me, not saying anything to me about being af but secretly i am sure she is proud and that is enough.

Rahul life is so much better sober and i cant believe how easy it is not to drink and i dont want to drink. I consider myself a non drinker now and damn it feels good. Mum did have a vodka pineapple juice last night and i had this crazy thought of opening the bottle and sniffing it, not sure why but i shook my head and left that thought where it belongs.

take care one and all, off for breaky and then shopping. xxxxx

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Can't tell you how much all your words have meant to me tonight. I made it SOBER and it ended up being fine. The anxiety of anticipating what my OCD might try to pull on me was worse than the reality. I know if I wouldn't have had you all and if I hadn't made the choice to check in earlier I would be starting over at day 1 tomorrow. Thanks to you I am calling day 112 done and dusted. love you all

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

WooHoo Ican...u did it!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like Spring is finally making a real appearance in these parts - phew......I was getting worried it had gotten lost or something :H

Glad everything worked out for you Ican
We all really do worry much more than we need to - it's not just you.

Ava, I love to travel but sometimes it can be frustrating too.
Your Mum has some convenient thinking, huh? :H

Good to see everyone & I wish for a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Good to see everyone's holding together , 1 week down for me and about to start the next with no troubles in sight :-] . BND .

[Jraasch]

Newbies Nest

Wow! Nice job guarding your sobriety...

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Jane, well done on ninety days! Triple digits looming large!



Ican, drinking to fit in? Well yes, if all your drinking buddies fall over their feet, slur their words, can't remember what they wanted to say, and vomit in the strangest places I suppose our drinking will make us fit right in. Otherwise, not. I'm glad you made it through - and the next time something like this comes up, you'll have this sober experience behind you to give you extra confidence that you can do difficult things without a glass in your hand.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Mae, All:

A quick fly by...

Byrdie - thanks for the kind words and for being here. I realize now that I am beyond the first hairy month and trying to focus on things other than (but including) alcohol, what an amazing amount of effort and love it takes for you to be here for us all every day (and you, too, Lav), you even remember us all.

iCan - sorry I missed the struggle, but glad these fine folks were here to support you.

Jane!!!!!! Woo hoo! I love your funny, insightful, honest and contemplative posts. Dinety Nays is nothing to sneeze at. Speech??

Good night all. Hope you're all fastened safely to your corners of the nest. My corner is warming up after a slightly cold spell (a frigid 60 degree day!)

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

TJAF posted these great articles on another thread - about Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) that usually peaks around 3 - 6 months. It really does seem to account for a lot of what I have been feeling lately. Thanks, TJAF!

Why We Don't Get Better Immediately

The Condition Many Recovering Alcoholics Don't Know About