Newbies Nest

[new horizon]

Newbies Nest

THanks K9Lover! I was a little afraid I would disappoint everyone since I set a day in the future but I think I would go stir crazy with out a plan. Pizza and movie night is a great idea, we used to do a lot of those. I would be nice to start that back up. We have a big park in our neighborhood too so that would be great to walk to in the evenings (before it gets too hot of course). Hiking is something I would like to take up so that might be something good to do on the weekends.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Yes, having your husbands support should make it easier. I have done it alone, which in SOME ways is good, but some ways bad, because I really had nobody to answer to. Nobody in my family knew the extent of my drinking, so they didn't know the struggle I was going through alone. Pretty soon you will see that you don't need to plan things out, you'll just live life alcohol-free! Just don't give up before it happens. And there's nothing wrong with setting a future date to quit, as long as you don't drink harder until then (like I used to do!)

[new horizon]

Newbies Nest

Our only problem is we aren't 100% of the same page. I want to be completely AF and he wants to Mod. He wants to drink a couple while watching football or camping. That will be my true test. I think he could easily do it. I'm the one who is the bad influence. I'm the one who is never done. I just hope that it doesn't cause issues for me. Guess I'll have to give up watching football and go shopping on Sundays. Spending all that money I'll be saving being AF.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

I understand, NH. I never thought I'd be able to sit on my couch and watch a movie again (because that's what I did while I was drinking). After a couple of months, I could, without missing the AL. At first I rearranged the living room furniture and moved lamps, so that my drinking "spot" looked different. I was trying to send the message to my brain that "We don't drink here anymore!"....and guess what? It worked. Whatever you need to do to change up your environment, do it. Even if that means skipping football and shopping instead for a while. I'll bet that eventually you can even go back to football and enjoy a nice cold soda!

[new horizon]

Newbies Nest

Yep! Or I may find that I never liked football at all, just the AL. Lol!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

New Horizon - laryngitis? excuse for Saturday....haha just kidding

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

new horizon;1646601 wrote: Yep! Or I may find that I never liked football at all, just the AL. Lol!

Very true!! :H I hate sports, but I never turned down a good time at a sports bar! ha Of course that "good time" quickly became hell, which led to me meeting my cellmate, Diablo. Don't ask. LOL

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The sun finally arrived today as promised - nice
Didn't really accomplish anything but it was great to be outside!

NH, nothing wrong with choosing a quit date, did that myself. Just be sure you have planned well, get all of the AL out of your house & vow to buy no more. If your husband chooses to buy & consume in the future, let that be his business, not yours

K9, I hate sports too. Just seems like a giant waste of time & money to me. The excessive drinking & eating that goes along with it is just stupid too IMHO :H

I ended up picking up my 5 year old grandson, he's good company for an afternoon. He helps with the chicken chores, collects eggs & everything. If I was still attached to a bottle of wine I would be missing all that fun! I am grateful everyday for my AF'ness!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - buckle up!

Lav

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters

Well another day in paradise. Had a lazier day yesterday than what i have been doing but today is swimming and all over massage, this is the life.

Mum and i went for lunch and a drink yesterday and i had a smoothie and the woman asked if i wanted al in it. I automatically told her i dont drink, then i was gobsmacked, did i say that? Certainly did and damn it felt good, so proud of myself and i highly recommend an af holiday to one and all. Mum is not drinking either and told me she drinks out of boredom, not sure why she is bored at nearly 78! she does sew and keeps busy during the day though.

Glad everyone is doing well and sorry about the me post.

Jane so glad you got a pencil girl. now i dont need to worry.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Evening all, had a good day (but long).
NH, I also threw away my favorite drinking cup.
Jane, so glad to see you finally got your STUB on!!
DTD, yes, there is a lull after the 30 day mark of " what now"? Like a bride coming back from her honeymoon, nobody tells you what to do after that. I put something about it in the tool box, but so many stray from that powerful tool after the 30 days. We forget what created that success in the first place. Knowledge is power. There really is great stuff in there. So, you make a great point about relapsing around that time. Getting sober is one thing, staying sober requires another set of tools. Trust me, maintaining our quit is 1000 times easier than starting over. (Been there, done that). Nighty all!! Byrdie

Edit to add: Hey AVA! So proud of you!!! Go you!

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Good evening, Nesters - day 17 for me.

New Horizons, good luck with your upcoming weekend. Despite how scarey quitting seems, it really is worth it!

Yesterday and today at work, several times each day I noticed (with some surprise) that in conversations with colleagues in meetings, my words were coming to me much more easily than I'm accustomed to. I've always been a good communicator, but sometimes struggle to express my thoughts verbally and am better in writing, typically. In work-related debates I tend to come up with the best rebuttals (the responses I wish I would have given) hours later. This week, my ability to think-on-the-spot/critical thinking skills are very definitely improved. It was really bizarre to realize that in the midst of hearing myself speak. I was wondering this afternoon about the extent to which I've allowed AL to dumb myself down? Did any of the rest of you notice a change in your analytical or critical thinking/speaking skills after two weeks off the booze? It's really surreal to be aware that there might physiological changes taking place in my brain right now. But also really cool! I'm just curious whether there's science to back that up or whether I'm imagining this.

Anyway, Congrats to all of you who've reached milestones, and best wishes to everyone for a great AF week!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, Nesters:

So GREAT to hear you sounding so fabulous, Ava! Now I'm looking forward to my sober vacation, although I will be hiking and cooking, and NOT having $10 massages.

NewH - The plan sounds great - it will be very good to have your husband with you, and I use my kids for diversion all the time. Movies, food, whatever. You can do this.

I agree Pepper - clarity has come. I was expecting more clarity more quickly, but slowly I have been coming out of an alcohol fog that I have been in for 15 years. As the wise ones say - it took us a while to get into this mess, and it will take a while to get out.

I talked with my therapist today about how to be less judgmental of and to myself - I get mad at myself for "letting" this happen to me. We talked about the fact that I was vulnerable to alcohol and the false promises it gave (relaxation! anti-anxiety! social confidence!). I am working on shifting my thinking, but again a slow process. All I know is that getting alcohol out of my life has helped me like myself so much more.

Petrel, you still with us? DD?

Good night, all. Seems there's a lot of wobbling around here right now. Let's hunker down and hold on tight - to our spots in the nest and to each other.

xo
Pav

[Solitaire]

Newbies Nest

Bran

So good to see you here! All the best!
Pop in to chat some time?
Hugs from Africa!
Sol xxx

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!



Newbies, how are you doing? Still have enough butt velcro? It's Hump Day - it may be a good day to start thinking about your plan for the weekend. One of my favourite threads is https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ing-53608.html - have a look at it if you need some inspiration. Jane's https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ind-89937.html is also a good one.

Sol, lovely to see you in the Nest! We now need Giraffe and Tips to check in here and the Saffa contingent will be complete! Speaking of Saffaland, it's an absolutely beautiful day here - no wind, gentle autumn feel to it, and the sun is just about to appear from behind the mountains. Nicely high temps forecast.

Pav, you in bed? Happy Wuesday to you!

Pepper, it took me a while to feel that my brain was no longer stuffed with cotton wool instead of the grey stuff. to me, that clarity of thought is the greatest and most precious gift of being sober - even though I sound like an idiot most of the time.

Jane, glad to see you discovered the elusive pencil! Your search for your Holy Grail showed tenacity tempered by wit. Hope you feel better when you wake up.

Byrdie, I'll look for your post-30 days post in the toolbox, but if you find it before I do, would you please repost it here?

Ava, enjoy paradise for all of us envious stay-at-homers!

Have a lovely AF Wednesday, everybody!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, is this the post you referred to earlier? Straight from your Wise-Words Fountain, as usual :l

Byrdlady;1492922 wrote: So you've done the 30 days AF!! But then a feeling of 'now what do I do?' sets in...it's a real LULL in your emotions and is difficult to explain. What I do know is that this is a natural stage in our progress. Everyone experiences it....I describe it below as progressing thru the stages of grief.


As I mentioned to a response to Allan yesterday in his thread....he'd reached his 30 day goal and then felt like a bride coming back from her honeymoon...NOW WHAT? I was explaining to him that breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time. Please hang in with us...you can do it! If I can do it, you can too!!! Byrdie