Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hellos Nesters,

I will be going to Germany next month and just saw my dates I will be there for 2 weeks straight. Will come back home for 2 days then 1 week for a conference to Colombo. In between I also got an invite for a conference in Goa but hey ... I cannot be at 2 places at the same time !

Now I feel nervous. I don't trust myself and have to challenge my resolve. I have long memories of drinking in Germany's. I have travelled all across. Cologne, Frankfurt, duesseldorf, Krefeld, Aachen, Berlin, Munich, Bonn. And everywhere I drank and have lots of memories of drinking. It will be a true test of my resolve.

I ask my self what will you do after 5 pm everyday for 2 weeks staying at the same place ? I am trying to imagine myself going for a jog everyday evening. Or maybe going to a pool (if I can find one). Or maybe a gym. On the opposite I picture myself with a glass of drink ... Feeling miserable and guilty but drinking excessively.

Y did they invent Alcohol or any drunk for that matter. Hearing and reading so much about about what alcohol does to Brain, excess dopamine production and what all brain does to adjust itself to this bombardment of dopamine ... I know it all then this brain some times acts really crazy I must say.

Maybe my next trip I am plan on reducing weight and come back home give pleasant purpose to eve one leaner and thinner ... Or maybe I will shock myself by going in the same pit ....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, when I travel, by the time I get thru emails and dinner, check FB and MWO, it's time for bed! Just adopt a Zero Tolerance Policy and that's that! Not negotiable! Don't make any deals with yourself, because we know who loses! Every time. Every. Time. So just tell yourself that you WILL make it thru 2 weeks of traveling....that's where you USED to drink! Make new memories, they will be much happier than the old ones. That's how I do it. Nothing is improved by AL. Stay strong and stay connected!! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

heading camping so I will be out of Internet contact for a day or so... What will I do??

Jane - I agree - I was wondering how the host could be a podcast host!? But then I suspended judgement - tried to play nice. She was the one who met the Dr. and brought him to the show. She is sober and sharing her recovery. Kudos to her (even if she does need some training )

Rahul - Pretty much every place I go where I've been before I have memories of drinking. This will be my first night camping without booze since I was a kid. I'm a bit nervous about falling asleep, but if all else fails I'll look out at the stars and make a list of what I'm grateful for. Zero. Tolerance. Policy. DH will have some whiskey, but he knows to not give me any...

Welcome back Cocoflo - stay close, we're here for you.

K9 - you and your daughter are so beautiful together!

bye nesters - see you soon.

Pav

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Pav! Have a great time on your trip...I wish I was going ANYWHERE!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Me too K9 - ANYWHERE :H

Pav, where are you going camping where it's actually warm enough? We have freeze warnings out for tonight, geez
Enjoy your trip, forget AL.

Rahul, I visited Germany many years ago & really enjoyed walking thru the smaller towns. Will you be able to get out & just do any old fashioned sight seeing? I stuffed myself full of coffee & cake there - they make the best cake

I had a busy half day with my grandsons & have to go back at 7 am for more! So I'll wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi folks,

Congrats to everyone getting through those first days and that first week! The exhaustion will lift - although mine took like 13 days - but the sugar cravings are taking awhile. Exercise is helping, and the Kudzo and L-Glutamine are hugely helping. Does anyone who takes them know how long we should stay on them?

Today is my day 23, although I haven't posted much lately. I'm happy, but cautious, as I've made it this far before and relapsed. I decided I'd better get back to posting now and then, as I've had two near-misses...most recently, I took a beer out of the fridge on Saturday night (my husband drinks them). I wasn't thinking about AL. I just opened the fridge to get dinner started, saw the beer, and it sounded GOOD, and my mind was saying, "hardly any AL content in just one beer", in contrast to my standard 1/2 liter of gin or vodka every day. 1 beer? No big deal, not even a hint of a buzz from just 1 beer. I had the bottle opener in my hand, paused just long enough to tell myself to think about this for just one minute...and as I stood there one of Byrdie's phrases popped into my head about the BIG LIE being that any of us will ever be able to outsmart AL, and the rabbit hole at the end of that bottle (Thanks, Byrdlady!)

I put it back, and ate a bowl of ice cream (desert before dinner) and that was the end of that. Later, I was surprised how quickly that craving passed -- by the first spoonful of ice cream it was over - but I was really shaken up by how quickly it nearly took control. From the start of the craving to putting the beer back into the fridge and the first spoonful of ice cream was literally like 90 seconds, and I nearly blew it in that much time without any forethought.

Then today, a high-maintenance friend at work who's feeling neglected by me invited me out for a drink tomorrow night. I didn't expect the call and wasn't prepared, as she's been mad at me and punishing me by not calling me for the past 2 weeks. I think she wanted me to call her first. The funny thing is that she doesn't get that her "punishment" has been a really nice reprieve from her drama, and allowed me to focus on not drinking. Anyway, I wasn't prepared for her call. I'm her only friend and felt like I couldn't say no to socializing with her, given that she thinks she's been punishing me and all I told her I'd meet her at a restaurant, but added, "I'm not drinking for awhile, though". She asked why, and I told her I was on a strict diet and off alcohol for awhile. She asked me if I could have a beer, and so I told her I was staying off gluten. It just popped out! Beer does have gluten in it, doesn't it? I hope so, because I was totally winging that.

The bottom line is that I didn't know how to say I've quit. She's a casual drinker and I've not wanted to tell her I have a problem, as she's not a close enough friend to me that it's any of her business. I was always careful about only having a few drinks when out with her or any other work people, then would come home and finish a bottle of vodka by myself. And honestly I am afraid I'll start again. So I hope that doesn't mean that I'm subconsciously reserving that option for myself, because I really, really don't want to go down that invisible rabbit hole at the bottom of that bottle again.

When I read Jane's post today about feeling less connected to MWO as a red flag, I remembered that people who don't post much are at greatest risk of slipping. So here I am, posting something.

Sorry about this being all "me". I want to be helpful to others, but I have to admit I still feel insecure about this and have a hard time believing I have anything that's worthwhile to share that will help anyone else right now. Other than telling new folks not to stray away, which I did last week, and which I think contributed to my near-miss Saturday.

Take care, all!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Rahul you can do this, hey if i can get through staying in alkie paradise where there is a bar every 5 feet anyone can stay af. Did not find any mocktails over there either so lots of fruit smoothies and water. take some sugar in your pockets to snack on, do whatever you have to do. Getting closer to that magical three digits of being af and at the end of the day how hard is it to say to letters strung together, that being NO.

Home on Good Friday and i now want my own bed.

Keep safe newbies and keep on here daily, twice daily, whatever it takes to not drink just do it.

Pav enjoy looking at those stars camping, everything seems so much brighter sober.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pepper you have done the right thing by posting on here and who cares if it is all about you as at the end of the day not drinking is all about you. If you think for one minute you will drink with this friend, dont go.

That was a close call with that beer but good on you for not having it. It only takes one drink to take us back to where we were. You will have triggered that al brain into all of its glory and it will be loving you immensely. You on the other hand will be hating yourself immensely.

Stay close to mwo as i keep saying and sounding like a broken record to myself, i am on hols in thailand and alkie heaven but i know if i have one drink i have lost those 130+ days, i have lost the respect again of my children, i will have lost the rocky relationship that i am trying to rebuild with my mother. I will have lost all self respect for myself. I cannot and wont do that.

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick fly by , reading , but not having time to post . Day 18 and still going strong , Easter holidays will be a struggle , but I've got a plan . BND

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick fly by , reading , but not having time to post . Day 18 and still going strong , Easter holidays will be a struggle , but I've got a plan . BND

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.

Jane, congrats on 100 days. You must be feeling very good, despite not feeling so good. Well done. Good luck with the tests!

Pav, enjoy your camping trip. I hope the weather is warm enough. It's that time of year when your hemisphere is warming up, and it's cooling down, here down under.

Rahul, stay strong my friend. Find plenty of distractions. Check out the desert menu! Use the excuse that you must go to bed early to exercise in the morning.

Coco, k9 is so right. Perhaps try setting a short term goal. Perhaps a month. And stick around here. It really helps.

Ava, you sound homesick. Enjoy the rest of your holiday and I'll have a hot cross bun with you on Friday.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Very early here,, have to head out to watch my grandsons this morning.

Pepper, good for you thinking through the craving last night - that's how to get the job done
Don't let your friend question your decision, it's your life your protecting, not hers!

Ava, you will need a rest after your vacation! Have a safe trip home.

BND, great you have a plan for the holidays! I used to worry about that myself but now AF holidays are just normal around here

Have a great AF Hump day everyone!

Lav

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - checking in - having a good week here - getting lots done around the house getting ready for Easter. The sun is out today and I woke up hangover-free - that makes today another good day

Pepper - sounds like you had a close call -good for you for working through it! The situation with your friend is familiar to me- I have not told anyone yet that I am not drinking (not even my husband). My day 1 was a few days before lent started, and so far, the 'excuse' for the people I usually drink with has been that I am not drinking for Lent. When I said that at a family dinner my husband said "oh, is that what you are doing?" - he had noticed my not drinking and I guess was wondering about it but never asked. I plan to have an honest conversation with him just not sure when. I need to tell him the things that were really troubling me like more and more often stopping somewhere for a drink on my way home from work - I just couldn't wait 30 minutes to get home?! Then of course having a bottle when I got home.

I, also like you, worry that there is some part of my mind that is reserving that option - I know where that would lead and because I am not able to bring myself to say 'forever' I am taking this one day at a time. Stick around and keep thinking about your plan! Good luck with your friend!

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

K9, Jane, Pav & Rahul,

Thank you so much for the welcome back! I really appreciate it. I've been beating myself for failing yet again. My husband knows that I drink, but he (or anybody else) has no idea how bad things have gotten, or how hard it is to stop. K9, you are right, some parts of my day are minute by minute, but I made through yesterday - day 2! The mwo community (& especially in the nest!!) is so comforting and I feel so much less alone in this. Thank you!

Peaceful, sober day to all!
cocoflo

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Yo y'all!

Congratulations Coco on day 2. That is a huge achievement!

Congrat's Jane on 100!

L8tr gaters. G bloke.