Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

I came across a few words of wisdom while reading a blog and don't know who's thought this actually is or I would credit the author. It had to do with upcoming Easter and the thought that resonated with me was ~

"So let us pray for a serene vision of things as they really are, and that strength, which used to be called the virtue of fortitude, to never give in to the allure of falsehoods and the emptiness of despair."

It put things in perspective for me. Just to be sure I looked up fortitude and found something that also rang true.
Fortitude: 'strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage'

Just thought I would share my thoughts and wish everyone a Serene and Happy Easter.

[Tink13]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

Would really like to join in with you all as I really value the support of this site, it's amazing.

I'm in my fifties now and I'm on my second day one, having managed over three months last year thinking I had control now back to a bottle a day and hating every day I wake up again feeling like hell.

I came back here having argued with my partner of 33years, after too much wine, and choosing to sleep in the spare room. I had forgotten how great it was to be AF. So I'm on my 1st AF night tonight and really want to give this evil rotten habit the push once and for all.

My motivation, to get back to yoga, live a full life not one of waiting for wine o'clock and to be a good mum and partner again.

I'm going one day at a time. Would luv your support, thanks Lexi

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

I went to an AA meeting today. Was driving out of town was free by evening thought about it and what the heck called and whet there. Its the 3rd time I have been into an AA meeting. First two times I was high in beer. First was about 10 years back ... second time about 7 years back. Both time when I went and heard the stories I though ... hey I am not doing so bad ! I have been doing well. These folks have been to a HELL LOT ....

Today, I was sober, and today for the first time i opened up in front of REAL people. "I am an alcoholic . !" I know MWO has been a good vent for me but I wanted to tryout it will real people. It felt good. But to be honest I went there for a selfish reason ... I wanted to tell them I am an alcoholic and I am sober now ... want to be sober for ever !....

In the meeting a man in mid forties came pissed drunk. It was almost crying and was drinking and still attending meetings whenever he could. I felt pity for him and also though I used to be just like that just 2 months back

Good experience but will join AA ? No I guess ... but will be posting here ... staying sober ... life is so better this way.

Brydlady your yesterday's post what EXACTLY want I needed to hear .... I guess I am now in my Denial stage ... good to know. I have to treat AL has a bad relationship which got over with a BIG fight ... First I will be angry with her for letting me down, betraying me, then I will miss her, deny anything happened, try to get her back ... when that does not happen, I will grieve ... and then accept it.

Thanks so much ...

TINK : welcome !! You are at the right place. stay in the nest. checkout toolbox and do what ever to stay sober for 7 days ... and see the magic ...

Good night !

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Lexi...great group of supportive folks here....check out the tool box. Link below my signature.
Get a plan in place so when wine o'clock shows up you have something else to do. It works!!

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Yo Nesters!

Jane, i like your barn/pickup truck analogy.

Good to see you Tink.

Nice words Hyper.

Rahul, AA meetings are definitely an experience aren't they? I have been to a couple, and am not a regular, but they are so devastatingly real in reminding me of where i've been, that i find them very useful at times.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober, and peaceful weekend, with just a bit of magic thrown in.

G bloke.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I hope everyone had a good day, I did
Every day sober is good & something to be thankful for - things could be/have been worse, right?

Hello & welcome Lexi, glad you decided to join us. Settle in & let is know how you are doing.

Jane, work on your gratitude friend. Sit down & write out a list of things in your life you are grateful for, it really helped me
I'm sorry your MIL is in such poor health but don't let her problems or attitude affect you personally- think codependency.

Rahul, sounds like your drop in at the AA meeting was a good tool for you. You know what you want & you know what you need to do, that's great.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hey there G!
Cross posted

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1650769 wrote: Hey there G!
Cross posted

Yo Lav! :wavin:

Have a great weekend.

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

More than anything, I want to stop drinking
but, I don't want to stop drinking.

The battle between good and evil.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Mimi there is no good in drinking when you get to be on an alkie website except for the wonderful support from fellow alkies. To me it is evil v's evil. None of us wanted to stop drinking but we realised we had to to have a life that we all deserved. If i had my way i would drink, it was my best friend, my comfort, what i did daily, my habit until it took over my life and i then realised i did not want to live like that anymore and so i dont. I was losing everything that i held dear to me so i had to make a choice and at the end of the day i had no choice to make, it was an easy decision. Giving up drinking was hard but my life is so much better now and i would not have it any other way.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

Internet wonky - just a quick wave and hoping it'll reach you.

Have a lovely day - the AF brand is the absolute best to be had anywhere in the universe!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

hi all! I'm a little reluctant to post my 'post' b/c it is all about me. Pretty selfish. I will apologize
in advance as I DID decide to post this b/c I thought I might could help somehow, or quite frankly, someone could help me.

I called my parents tonight as it was my Dad's b-day and wanted to wish him a happy one. Mom answered the phone all chipper and seemingly in a fabulous mood!
This is unusal when I call. When I call it's usually a 'ho-hum' like 'what do you want' type deal for her when I call.
I quickly said I was calling to wish Dad a Happy B-day and she handed the phone over. I spoke briefly with him, and learned my sister and her family were over
there and have been for a week. (I guess Spring Break).

I had no idea my sissy was there until tonight, but I guess I should tell you all...she is the 'good' child. My mom and her are like 'white on rice' and always
have been. They are both HUGELY religious and share many common thoughts and practices in religion.

That being said, while I was raised in a 'religious' family, and practiced such for many years, I swayed a bit. I probably shouldn't even say why I swayed, but
I will give you guys a short reason 'why'. I 'drafted' my ex-hubby to the church I grew up in. Ex-hubby was a prick. Still is a prick. He makes pricks look bad. Got me?
But he is a LAWYER (can we say prick again?). Anyway, he lied to my pastor during divorce councelsing and became the 'unsung hero'. later...they actually voted him in for church trustee.
There were other reasons I decided to leave that church, but that was a biggie. (I'd have to explain the drama with my ex over our tenure but I digress)

Anyway...back to my parents...truth is...they don't even know I drank as much as I did. They know I called them a few times 'drunk', but they have no idea how much I drink or when I do or 'why'.

Even still. I am the black sheep.

This would make sense to me if they thought or knew I was an ALKI but they thought this WAY before I even started to drink (probably part of what I drink 'at').

So, here I am calling to wish my Dad happy-b-day and also share really good news about my son (their grandson) and get side-barred on the fact my sister is there.

I can't live up to that. In fact, I've never been able to live up to anything with them. Who am I kidding????

I suppose, there is nothing I can do or say or act upon that makes my relationship with my parents any better or worse....but boy I wish I could. And believe me, telling them that
I 'overcomed alkie' would be no accomplishment to them...they expect it.

I said 2-3 months ago that I think it's important to identify what it is that might be a proponent for our drinking, and I still think that to be true. I also realize we can't drink at
a problem, but I think that's what I do here/as do many others I suppose.



In addtion, I have read the previous posts and congrats to those. I want to be you one day. For those who are struggling, I just say PLEASE stick around here. I am...and noone is judgmental here!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

available;1650798 wrote: Mimi there is no good in drinking when you get to be on an alkie website except for the wonderful support from fellow alkies. To me it is evil v's evil. None of us wanted to stop drinking but we realised we had to to have a life that we all deserved. If i had my way i would drink, it was my best friend, my comfort, what i did daily, my habit until it took over my life and i then realised i did not want to live like that anymore and so i dont. I was losing everything that i held dear to me so i had to make a choice and at the end of the day i had no choice to make, it was an easy decision. Giving up drinking was hard but my life is so much better now and i would not have it any other way.

Nicely put Ava. I've had neighbours who have been on the p*#^ every night this weekend. Loud and rowdy. I'm always welcome over there, and the temptation is real. But not for long.

Last night, they just got louder, especially the music. I'm no wowser, but it seriously became annoying later in the night. Waking in the morning, is the best reward for good behaviour. Felt fresh, nice coffee, went for a run.

Mimi, we all miss drinking, but the rewards are so much greater. We just need lots and lots of affirmation of that. Stay strong!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Glad you posted Mimi
To be perfectly honest, I didn't want to let go of my wine bottle either when I first found MWO. I literally wanted everything in my life to improve but I didn't want to give up the wine.
I was challenged to give it up for 30 days then revaluate my thoughts & feelings. That's when I stopped BS-ing myself & knew that I HAD to quit. I HAD to make changes if anything was ever going to improve in my life. We all have solid reasons why we drink/drank. But nothing changes if nothing changes. I knew, as I approached my first 30 AF days that quitting forever was what I had to do if I was ever going to improve my life. It's simply a choice that each & everyone of us has to make.

Sarah, drinking at the people who wronged you is pretty common, I did that myself. In the end I only hurt myself, not them. Other people will not change but we can change ourselves. Other people's opinions are theirs & none of our business, that's the reality of things! Family trauma & drama is something I just don't get involved with anymore. They are what they are, it's their choice. My choice is to live free of addiction & live the life that I was truly meant to live

Ava, are you home now??

Greetings to one & all. I hope everyone has a terrific AF Saturday!

Lav

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Well, I haven't been around for a bit, but I started bottoming out last week, so I decided I better get back on it. I don't know why. Maybe because things have been stressful with my husband... Anyway, I don't want to go back to who I was and I want to keep getting better! Argh!

So back to day one for me...