Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Dot i hope you got a script for me! Drs dont like prescribing antibiotics here! Move over and get me a blanky please i need to by snuggling with you.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

still lurking…. i will find a way…..seeing a therapist…..considering rehab or something like it….I saw a medication therapist and she said I was definitely depressed….I continue working on it. And I have faith that I will get there. I feel so defeated just typing this. It is a difficult journey...

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

and to NS and byrdlady….I am so grateful for your support…even when I don't ask for it!!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

It is great to know that you haven't stopped trying, Jennie. You know where we are if you ever want to talk - I'd love to hear about the good stuff going on with you, too .

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nester's!

It's really good to see you Jennie. Hope to see more of ya. :l

You know, i was just thinking after reading part of a post by you above Byrdy about inviting AL in, sort of like a demon. Exorcism is a good analogy i reckon. I'm not such a religous guy, but i sometimes wonder if Al addiction is a way that some demon has concocted to keep the best of the best of humankind down (all of us) and out for the count so we can't contribute positively to making our communities and the world a better place. Alkies are often brilliant, beautiful people at our core. I think of myself as Superman in the shackles of kryptonite. But this fella is breaking free and getting stronger by the day.

I will construct whatever kind of vision that gives me strength, clarity and commitment to live sober.

Have a great week y'all. Think positive.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Day 3...hanging in there! Went shopping after work so I would not be home for the bewitching hour. I use to race home with the excuse that I was too tired to do anything. Truth was that I wanted to down several drinks before my hubby came home and noticed.
Shopping worked but now I am sitting here longing for a drink. Fighting it because it felt so good to wake up this morning without a hang over. Reading everyone's post is helping me.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good on you Dil, changing your routine helps in the early days, i used to come home and put my pjs on after work as then i knew i could not be bothered to get changed again. The witching hour goes after a few weeks, mine was 5pm. I used to get home, feed the dogs and pour that wine. I deserved it, well so i thought but now a cuppa does it for me.

Keep posting and reading you are doing so well and when that al brain tells you you can moderate dont listen to that story, we alkies cant do anything by halves as far as al is concerned.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Frances,
I can relate to your comment about your insecurities and still feeling like a child. My childhood was rough. My mom died when I was 2 years old. My older brother and sister were so mean to me, I was the youngest. My dad favored my sister and allowed her to treat me so badly. (I never understood how you can favor one child over another) I was always sad as I missed my mom but my dad would say, you always look miserable. He never once said he undersdtood why I was sad.

My dad eventually remarried and my stepmother was great. My dad was mean to me. He always would hit me or punish me if I walked in the house 5 minutes late. I will never forget one time he was smacking me and I put my hands up to protect myself, I was 15. He got so mad he picked me up and threw me into the front door. I just wanted to get out of the house. I have no nice memories of growing up.

At 16 I got pregnant and got married. My dad wanted me to have an abortion but I thought the right think to do was have the baby. So I did and I was going to live happily ever after out of that unhappy house I grew up in. Except after being married for 2 years, the bastard left me for his best friends wife.

So now I was 18 years old with a 2 year old daughter and scared to death. I asked my dad if I could move back home as I had no money. He said no! That was the start of the next 6 miserable years. But I was determined to make a good life for my daughter so I enrolled in college and put myself through school. I would work all day and go to classes at night. I was lucky my mom would watch my daughter. My dad never helped me out even when me and my daughter had no food or the electric would get shut off because I could not pay the bill.

How aweful is it to not like your dad and your brother and sister! They caused so much pain in my life. My dad passed away about 7 years ago and I still cannot think of one nice memory of him.

I started drinking in college and have not stopped since.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Hi Dila.

That's a damn tough life you've lived. I think you are an amazing person and i bet you are a fantastic mum. Brilliant job on day 3.

Keep it going friend.

G bloke.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Dila, you have been through so much. I am so sorry you didn't have your father's support when you were growing up. That must have been so very hard. :l

Good for you for doing what you can to make your life and your daughter's life different, and without AL!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I've been busy with grandkids all day, fun but exhausting!
My daughter & granddaughter are staying overnight too

Dila, I'm sorry you had such a hard childhood, that was rough.
I don't have any pleasant memories of my dad either - he was what he was.
I think all that gave us more strength than we even know. We truly can do whatever we want to do now, regardless of the past

Hope all the sickies feel better very soon - I don't like a snotty nest :H
Wishing everyone a safe night!

Lav

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

I've had such a great weekend I don't even mind being back at my desk! Have a coffee while I read back.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Dila, that sounds so hard. Obviously it must make you incredibly sad/hurt/angry that your family treated you that way but do you ever feel proud of yourself too for bringing up your daughter and getting yourself through college? If not, you really should be!

Morning folks - day 3 here. DH back at work and we'll start back with school today. Both kids have slight sniffles/sore throats but I'm sure once I get the workbooks out they'll get into their studies a bit (I hope!). We sold our house a few months ago so today our buyer is having a survey done on this place. Fingers crossed nothing bad comes up - we haven't actually found a place to move to yet either so need to find one pretty sharpish. Desperate to move and one of our 'must haves' in a new place is that there's no off licence just across the road. Of course all of this anxiety is a major trigger for me so I can definitely see that there are hard times ahead. Feeling ok right now but I have a sneaky feeling that will change by tonight. Luckily DH should be home by 6pm which will be a big help.

Have a good day everyone.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

dila
life is much harder for some than others?..I often wonder why?..but it sounds like you have the strength to rise above it?. and telling your story should make you feel better. I know when I tell mine, I get a sense of liberation from it...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Welcome back jennie! I hope you can find the right path this time around!

Willow, stress is a pretty common trigger, certainly was for me. Removing AL as an option to handle stress was a necessity for me. Adding mindfulness, some meditation & positive thinking was most helpful

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav