Newbies Nest

[TJAF]

Newbies Nest

frances;1654474 wrote: Good morning everyone - great job on AF weekend and welcome to the newer newbies!

My weekend was challenging but I'm proud that I got through it (and thanks to support here, too)! One of my concerns was about what others were thinking. why? I'm not sure but I'm going to work on that - the truth is they may have given my not drinking a passing thought, but in general they were only concerned with what they were doing themselves. I am just not all that important :-)

Skendall I could say "I don't drink" but most of the people I was with over the weekend know differently so I think they would come back with some comment. I could just say "I don't drink anymore - it hasn't been sitting well with me". I'll come up with something but I'm not going to worry about it too much - I know summer is going to be tough but I am getting stronger every day!

Stick around everyone - it really helps!

Frances I was with my brother and Sister In-Law this weekend and they were both drinking. I was offered several drinks and the easiest thing for me to say over and over again was that "I don't drink". They probed why which would have both scared and offended me in earlier days but I'm really comfortable now. More importantly I was confident in my sobriety and for me that meant I didn't feel like I had to come clean and tell them I'm an alcoholic to explain why I didn't want a drink. They backed off and we had a nice time.

Don't get me wrong, I still have days, particularly at parties when I would really like to have a drink but I have enough experience to know that that one drink would lead me right back down that spider hole. I am also guarded enough to know that I can't confuse confidence with a cure. I am an alcoholic and because of that I can't drink.

I offer this story not to toot my on horn. I am very much a newbie in the relative scheme of things. I just want people to know that confidence in your sobriety will build with each and every day you maintain your sobriety; and, with that confidence it becomes much simpler to just say " I don't drink". Nothing more and nothing less.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

I offer this story not to toot my on horn. I am very much a newbie in the relative scheme of things. I just want people to know that confidence in your sobriety will build with each and every day you maintain your sobriety; and, with that confidence it becomes much simpler to just say " I don't drink". Nothing more and nothing less.

Me too, TJAF. Mine has been building and I didn't even realize it until a few weeks ago. Each day gets better and better, and things I used to worry about like the "what do I say if someone asks" doesn't concern me too much anymore. I still have an idea in my head with how to reply to some people, but it doesn't worry me like it used.

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, good evening, good night - to everyone here. It's funny how people in Australia are fast asleep and approaching Tuesday, whilst here I am half way through Monday afternoon!! :H

Had a good, productive weekend. I spent it trying to tame my garden and attended a local plant sale which should have saved me money - but I couldn't stop buying!! Have loads of lovely new plants for my butterfly garden though.

Day five - gosh it's gone quickly. I decided to keep motivated by setting myself a goal to lose a stone in a month! I already lost 2lbs in just three days by not drinking alcohol, cutting back carbs and exercise. I've started doing the 30 Day Shred again which someone on this site recommended last year (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pc-NizMgg8[/video]]Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred: Level 1 - YouTube) - it's hard work in one sense - you have to do the 20 minute work out every day for 30 days. But the easy part is you can do it anytime at home to fit in with your schedule. I lost a stone doing it last year - and my daughter and I use baked beans tins instead of weights! :H Can hardly walk today, I ache so much!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

A quick check in as I race out the door! I will catch up tonight when I get to my hotel! Strength to all today! Byrdie

[SpiritGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Day 5 for me... It feels good to start my Monday off fresh with no headaches or regret from a weekend consumed with alcohol.... I am, however, finding myself feeling "edgy"... Sometimes I would get through my days with the excitement of knowing at the end of it I "get" to have some wine... Only to "get" a hangover and a morning after filled with a bloated belly and a guilty heart... WHY then am I so cranky when I don't drink... UGH! I am doing other productive things... It's just an anxious feeling that makes me irritable... It's so nice to have conversations with my husband or 18 yr old son with clear eyes and conscious... Its so nice to have conversations where I MEAN what I SAY... Again, it perplexes me why I can't just be satisfied with that? Maybe it's the first week stuff and this will pass...

Anyoo - sorry to sound like a "Debbie Downer"... I am happy to be hangover free today and so eternally grateful for this sight and the people who make it so wonderful... Happy Monday!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Bad stomach ... Enerygy levels. Low will sleep early tonight.

[Fat fella]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the welcome back guys. J-vo, I've never really had a plan before, just dived in and tried to not have a drink. Maybe I'll read through the toolbox again and actually put together some solid ideas of how to deal with it. Trouble is I don't really know what triggers my drinking. I lasted 35 days last time and for some unknown reason just caved in and decided that I would be perfectly able to moderate after being so restrained for that time.

I know moderation is not an option and that I need to accept I can't drink again. I want to succeed more than anything else I could wish for. Anyway, day two going ok so far. I'll read some more in the toolbox and see what I can come up with. Thanks for being there.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Made it through Day 1 but it wasn't hard as I was so sick from the night before. The thought of AL made me ill. I do feel better today and I am determined. Need to figure out my triggers. It is usually stress but I'm sure there is more.

Here is to Day 2!

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Dila
when you figure out things that are triggers, write them down so you have them later when you might need them.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

FF, I learned in a hurry that 'winging it' wasnt really a strategy. Wishing and hoping didnt do it. I had to come up with some IRON CLADS.
Get all the booze out of my space.
Get my story down, what will I say when offered?
What am I going to do with all this extra time?
How am I going to keep my mind occupied when it 'goes there'?
What am I going to do if it gets BAD?
Who can I reach out to to help me get thru a craving?
Adopt an attitude of gratitude (I am not missing out, I am saving my life).
List the things you have left undone as a result of drinking and plan to do them!
Adopt a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY. Not one, not ever! This takes the choice off the table. This actually did more to help me than anything else. Having AL is NON NEGOTIABLE.
Stay accountable to MWO.

This is what it took for me to get my act together. So far so good.
If you are struggling....struggle no more! Take the choice off the table! Do not let AL claim one more day of your life! It IS worth it. It took me a long time to get here, but I wouldnt take anything for my sober life now! Who'da thought I would say that!!??? Stick with it, we all know going back is a dead end, in more ways than one! Hang in, no matter what!!!
Byrdie

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

SpiritGirl;1654612 wrote: Good morning! Day 5 for me... It feels good to start my Monday off fresh with no headaches or regret from a weekend consumed with alcohol.... I am, however, finding myself feeling "edgy"... Sometimes I would get through my days with the excitement of knowing at the end of it I "get" to have some wine... Only to "get" a hangover and a morning after filled with a bloated belly and a guilty heart... WHY then am I so cranky when I don't drink... UGH! I am doing other productive things... It's just an anxious feeling that makes me irritable... It's so nice to have conversations with my husband or 18 yr old son with clear eyes and conscious... Its so nice to have conversations where I MEAN what I SAY... Again, it perplexes me why I can't just be satisfied with that? Maybe it's the first week stuff and this will pass...

Anyoo - sorry to sound like a "Debbie Downer"... I am happy to be hangover free today and so eternally grateful for this sight and the people who make it so wonderful... Happy Monday!

SG
what you got going is another side that wants you to fail, wants you to drink, You will persevere. You'll lick it cause you've stopped. Once you tell the voice you've stopped and decided that you don't want to poison yourself, it will crawl away. If it ever comes back, do the same with gusto. Then you will relish in being sober and the cranks will go away.
Hope this makes sense to you....
best
Sam

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie,
Not sure how to handle getting the AL out of the house. My husband does not have a problem and he likes to have a glass of wine with dinner.
He said I was a drunk a month ago which opened my eyes to that is exactly what I am as I was drinking everynight. Yesterday I said to him for the 1st time, I'm an Alcoholic and cannot have one drink as I can't stop after that. That was a huge step for me as I never said it out loud.
He is great and my rock but he didn't understand. He thinks I just need to control it. It is my issue not his but it would be easier if he understood. Maybe he will in time.

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

30 down a lifetime to go

Morning All . Previously 30 days was a target to aspire to . Now I think I've got it , it's the first step and I didn't stumble , and I don't think the next 30 are going to be quite as much of a struggle .
I'm not starting out sick and in high anxiety , i'm feeling what I think is normal but feeling better all the time .
Having the thought of one day being able to moderate is Al keeping a wedge in the door . There was a time , a long time ago when Al didn't feature in my life , and I was ok , a troubled teen [ who wasn't ] but ok . Maybe I need to recall what that felt like .
BND :thanks: for your support

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Mondays with no hangovers really rock, become completely normal in time!
It does take a while to truly appreciate this gift you are giving yourself

Dila, we don't always get the support at home that we need but that doesn't matter. Ask your husband to keep his wine out of your line of vision, at least for a while. You focus on yourself & keep up the good work!

BND, once we accept that drinking AL is no longer an option for us the stress pretty much disappears - at least it did for me!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - yes, No-Hangover-Mondays are the best! My old patterns included coming in to work later than everyone else on Mondays or being sick on Mondays (we have tons of sick leave). I know people must have noticed, although nobody ever said anything to me, and I suspect my boss knew but she didn't want to say anything. I've been so enjoying arriving at work earlier than everyone else on Mondays these past several weeks, just to do it because I can. But this morning, I realized at the last minute that my daughter had an appointment with the orthodontist this morning at 9:00. My DH is out of town, so I had to bring her, which made me the last to arrive at work and dang was I ever annoyed! -- I felt like grabbing a microphone and yelling into it, "Hey everyone!! I took my kid to the ortho!! For REAL! Do you want to see the receipt for proof?" I didn't realize until today how much I've been enjoying my Monhdays