Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Great going, everyone!
Freeby, it may sound ridiculous but I always try to eat something before I go to a social gathering...if I am not starving it's easier for me to resist everything, including AL! I always take my own drinks, too. AND I always fix my own drinks. I know that's a little paranoid, but stranger things have happened than someone accidently giving another person AL by accident. I don't take that chance, I get my own drinks. AllanKay (will be 2 years Sept 1) went to a party once and thought he was getting diet coke and it was vodka and diet! In my defense, I try not to drink any caffeine after lunch, so I always take caffeine free diet coke to parties, and then it isn't quite so weird that I bring (and fix) my own drinks). You can do this, all it takes is a little prior planning!!
Hope everyone is having an easy Saturday!! Byrdie

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Orimus;1662078 wrote: Peppersnow, are you in IT? Can always switch a laptop to the guest WiFi or use mifi. Can also just use your personal phone on 3 or 4g. We need to do what we have to in order to stay sane in this journey. I do have the advantage that in my co I'm the monitor.

Hey Orimus - no, I'm not in IT and am rather clueless about tech issues -- so they for sure can't monitor if I use guest WIFI? I do read on my phone but have a horrible time typing on my phone so don't. We have guest access at my company...

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Fat fella;1662082 wrote: Hi all. Had a pretty rough time today but managed to stay strong. Hot sunny day, BBQ season started and all in all I was a bit stressed out, but in a funny way the fact that I so badly wanted a drink made me realise even more how important it was to not have one.

FF, this is a great point! "The fact that I wanted it so badly made me realize how important is was to not have one."

Normal drinkers, I'm sure, may say, "Oh, I need a drink." but we really NEEDED A DRINK! So if there's a strong urge, that's a strong message not to drink. Genius I say!

Pepper, post when you can. I know that sucks about not being able to post at work, but we'll be here when you get home.

Have a great night all.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1662004 wrote:
So in a nutshell, I can't post during working hours anymore, but I do need to prioritize making time to read in the same way that I've prioritized exercising and eating well. As time goes by, it's easy to begin thinking that we don't "need" the support system as much as we used to, but I know from experience that's a huge red flag when I begin to feel that way. And that's when it's most important to get my butt here reading, even if I can't post.

Happy Saturday, all!

Hi, Everyone:

Pepper - I'm so alert about relapsing that I've read a ton about it, and you sum it up here. Complacency seems to be a giant problem, so no matter what it is important to focus on staying sober every day. I just went my first full day without posting or even reading here (after over 150 days sober). It sort of worried me once I realized, but I think that even if I don't post here, I can focus on being sober in other ways - mindfulness, meditation, a gratitude list, reading something. I can't post at work either, so it is important to catch up on the weekends as well, so I do feel like I belong somewhere.

FF - those sunny BBQs are a trigger for me, too. I don't necessarily want to drink, but I want to feel "normal." I have a situation that allows me to "think the drink" and play forward what that "one" drink will do for me - lead to more drinks, and then more, and then guilt, shame, remorse, etc. As my favorite June3 quote goes, "if only one, why not none."

Freeby - I have to admit that I heard "freebie," but I didn't connect 40 to a 40ozer - I'm not sure I really got it. I figure screen names mean something to the person... Now you are Free BY 40!

Rahul - You sound great! Thanks for the cool picture.

I'm of to shower and to a party with a bunch of drinking women. I'll see how I feel, and leave early if I want. I am considering that one benefit of an in-person support group is meeting sober friends to hang out with. I do wish I knew more sober people around here - I'm sure I'll connect with some eventually.

Happy SOBER Saturday, nest.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

PS - I came across this writing on gratitude today - thought I'd share it here since Lavitude is gratitude!

GRATITUDE

is not a passive response to something given to us, gratitude arises from paying attention, from being awake in the presence of everything that lives within and without us. Gratitude is not necessarily something that is shown after the event, it is the deep, a-priori state of attention that shows we understand and are equal to the gifted nature of life.

Gratitude is the understanding that many millions of things come together and live together and mesh together and breathe together in order for us to take even one more breath of air, that the underlying gift of life and incarnation as a living, participating human being is a privilege, that we are miraculously, part of something, rather than nothing. Even if that something is temporarily pain or despair, we inhabit a living world, with real faces, real voices, laughter, the color blue, the green of the fields, the freshness of a cold wind, or the tawny hue of a winter landscape. To see the full miraculous essentiality of the color blue is to be grateful with no necessity for a word of thanks. To see fully, the beauty of a daughter’s face is to be fully grateful without having to seek a God to thank him. To sit among friends and strangers, hearing many voices, strange opinions; to intuit inner lives beneath surface lives, to inhabit many worlds at once in this world, to be a someone amongst all other someones, and therefore to make a conversation without saying a word, is to deepen our sense of presence and therefore our natural sense of thankfulness that everything happens both with us and without us, that we are participants and witness all at once.

Thankfulness finds its full measure in generosity of presence, both through participation and witness. We sit at the table as part of every other person’s world while making our own world without will or effort, this is what is extraordinary and gifted, this is the essence of gratefulness, seeing to the heart of privilege. Thanksgiving happens when our sense of presence meets all other presences. Being unappreciative simply means we are not paying attention.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1662007 wrote: Oh, and one more thing to Frances -- now that 60 days is within my reach, I don't feel nearly as nervous about it anymore, due to YOUR success and progress. In fact, as you began coming up on the 80 day milestone, I began thinking more about 80 days and now 60 doesn't seem as big of a deal! It's funny how someone else's progress can rewire another person's brain...congrats again and thanks for inspiring me!

Peppersnow - Someone (little beagle?) posted on one of the other threads that every individual win is a group win. So Very True! We are all inspiring each other in that way and I am so glad you are getting inspiration and strength here too! And I will do my best to keep up my success (see how it goes both ways?!) so that you can continue to see that it CAN BE DONE! I get such inspiration here too.... Jane, Byrd, Jvo, Ava, Pav, Lav and others too (so many!) - - I want to join the 100+ club

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Frances, "every individual win is a group win" was posted by Jane. Yep, I loved that, too!

[available]

Newbies Nest

There is so much strength in numbers and big numbers there are on here at the moment. Every number is a good number be it 1 day or 1000 days.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone posting their positive steps forward
I'm just home from my DIL's graduation party, she received her masters degree today - awesome. She had one beer, a few people had a few & that was it! The grandkids were there & they were the most fun, as usual

Grateful I am for today & everyday!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest.

Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I posted this on a few other lists but know I need all the support I can get on this one..
OK I need some strength sent my way.
I am getting ready to sell the house I grew up in. Third hardest thing I have ever had to do.
1) bury my mother
2) put my dad in an Alzheimer's facility
3) sell the home I grew up in...way too many memories....makes me so sad but it is time...
I did NOT deal well with numbers 1 & 2 so I just need a little extra support to make it..
Going back tomorrow to clean some and take inventory of what else needs to be done to get it sale ready. Have to call contractor on Monday for some of the other stuff. Not major but things I dont want dh to do. I know this is necessary but DAMN hard too...

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Bell,
Could you take a friend or family member with you to help you clean the house? Just wonder if that would help ease the pain a bit?

Lovely and sunny here today, been awake since 4.00 am but I like hearing the birds sing! Had a nice spontaneous trip yesterday to an art exhibition with neighbours, it was fun. Happy Sunday everyone.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1662198 wrote: Dottie Bell,
Could you take a friend or family member with you to help you clean the house? Just wonder if that would help ease the pain a bit?

Lovely and sunny here today, been awake since 4.00 am but I like hearing the birds sing! Had a nice spontaneous trip yesterday to an art exhibition with neighbours, it was fun. Happy Sunday everyone.

some support would be good dottie (hello btw!)

DD being in london you have so much on your doorstep, thats wonderful. i grew up in london and while i didnt take it for granted, i did expect to go where i liked, when i liked. i loved the museums, my sister the art galleries. there is also so much more. a hidden london if you like.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Hallo Nesters

Another flying visit from me. Hope everybody's having a great AF weekend!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone; day 6 for me. Have a busy day ahead painting a backdrop for a show in June; working from my kitchen table, so a lot of painting sections then drying with a hairdryer so I can move to the next bit........about half way done....
I find when weekends come along, hearing about others drunken antics and reading (my sister) silly comments on facebook, it actually helps me......I just don't want to go there again.....
There is such a positive vibe here right now.....great to see and be a part of......so glad I checked in here last week....thanks for all your encouragement.....

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Great going Daisy
Keep those thoughts going & stay on plan!

Dottie, you have had a lot to deal with but you have our support.
You can keep those memories & take them with you wherever you go. Perhaps another young family will buy the house & have a great place to make their own memories.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!

Lav