Newbies Nest

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1662989 wrote: Hi, Dila

One thing that helped me was to make the commitment to come to the nest and post before I drank. Oftentimes just the prospect of having to do that was enough to nip the problem in the bud. Other times, typing out how I was feeling and why a drink seemed like it would make me feel better made it clear how wrong-thinking that was. One time in particular, I got a sharp but needed response. If MWO is your main tool, you've got to give it a chance to work for you so for me, that meant becoming involved and getting used to posting even when things seemed to be going along pretty well. That made it easier to come here when they weren't.

It is great that you came back so quickly -- you didn't allow yourself to re-establish old patterns. Take good care of yourself, NS

NS, You are so right. The whole time I was thinking what do I say to FF, NS, j-vo, Ava and Byrdie. You hold me accountable. I will post and go back to reading an hour everyday. It feels so much better being AF!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

available;1663051 wrote: i also asked the dr if this didnt work if he could donate for me to spend a few months on a deserted island, he did not comment. other than that i could be a walking patch and there is a spray that worked for me last time.

Ava, do we just stand by with a squirt bottle and when you screw up we spray you in the face with it? I could see where that would work....it worked on my puppy!

K9, unfortunately, the 34 longs are mostly a threat to myself. Things flying everywhere ....it's hard to concentrate on running with body parts going every which way. =

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Fat fella;1663036 wrote: Hi all, day 24 today so that 30 day mark is drawing closer. Seemed a mile away on day 1! Daisy that is hilarious. Clearly can't condone the outrageous behaviour of my fellow men - but that was bloody funny.

Good going Dila. Stick with it. Do you realise out of the last 24 days you have done 22 of them AF (if my maths is right) which is pretty awesome. The weekend was just a minor blip, hardly worth mentioning.

So proud of you...30 days is right around the corner!

I did do 22 days and it felt so good. I will get there again!:h

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,
So jealous...I love to travel and see different cultures. So glad you are enjoying yourself AF!

Have a great time.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Fat fella;1663036 wrote: Hi all, day 24 today so that 30 day mark is drawing closer. Seemed a mile away on day 1! Daisy that is hilarious. Clearly can't condone the outrageous behaviour of my fellow men - but that was bloody funny.

Good going Dila. Stick with it. Do you realise out of the last 24 days you have done 22 of them AF (if my maths is right) which is pretty awesome. The weekend was just a minor blip, hardly worth mentioning.

FF, I am so happy to see your progress and how lovingly you offer support. It is so heartwarming to see. I am so glad you're here. It's a shame we are all here on an alkie site, but I tell you, you'd be hard pressed to find a finer group of people than right here.

NS and I have talked about this before....when we are all old and sitting there in our sober rocking chairs, we will look back and say, 'we all got sober around the same time, back in the early 20-teens'!!

I hope no one feels too embarrassed to return to an ALK site if he/she drank. Hells bells, if WE don't understand, who will?! Get on back here and try again, there is no expiration date on this thing, we keep trying til it sticks! It WILL stick! Hang in there, everyone!! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1663077 wrote: Ava, do we just stand by with a squirt bottle and when you screw up we spray you in the face with it? I could see where that would work....it worked on my puppy!

K9, unfortunately, the 34 longs are mostly a threat to myself. Things flying everywhere ....it's hard to concentrate on running with body parts going every which way. =

OMG! LOL really, really LOUD!

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters , Good to see everyone doing so well , and all strength to those about to give smoking the flick [ thank God that's one thing I never took up ]
Just lately I've noticed a subtle but important difference in how i'm thinking .
Instead of a drunk whose trying to stop , i'm feeling like a "sober " who sometimes goes off the rails .
I had a bit of a countback , and in the last 150 days , 30 of those have been with AL ,120 without , Which is just so different to how life was leading up to this year .
So as the people here keep saying , just keep on dusting yourself off and get back on the horse .
Have a good ,Day / Night everyone .BND .

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I thought 34 longs was the size of your jeans!! Duh! Lol

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

No, Daisy, I was referring to 'the girls'!
BND, so glad to hear something has clicked! It makes the journey so much easier!
Byrdie

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Long-g-g day.

I'm amazed at all the helpful advice and encouragement in the Nest. I didn't realize it my first couple of go rounds on MWO. I'm so glad I'm here.

I had my moments today, but here I am, AF. I realized today that AL had been helping me avoid feelings I haven't want to deal with. I thought I was handling things pretty well, but now know AL was keeping me numb. It's kind of scary to face life's hard truths straight on.

I need to say thanks to so many of you, and personally offer encouragement to all, but I'm beat, as I just got home from work. So, again, I'll be thinking of you, and will check in tomorrow.

Oh, good grief, now I need to get out of bed, and kill a wasp. Crap. Maybe he won't bother me tonight.... Do wasps sleep?

See you in the morn.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Oh, my goodness, Byrdie. The 34 longs emoticon is TOOO much. They should draw a picture for that one... I daren't run a step without a tight jog bra on lest my 36 longs give me a black eye.

FF - sounding solid! 30 is CLOSE.

Dila - I think you asked for what I read and watched? Watched: The Rain in My Heart Docos linked at the top of the forum. Cherry Healy: Old Before My Time (even though it is my chronological time to be old, it made an impact). That lead to others - I'll dig around and see if I can find them - I know J-Vo or Ava collected a list at one point. Also, if you read around here, there are a ton of resources including links to articles and videos. I read Drinking, A Love Story. Drunkard. Lit. All alcoholic memoirs. I'll dig around for that list and post it (or NS might find it quicker than I do...) I also like the blogs Unpickled and Stick a Fork in Me; and the podcast The Bubble Hour. Just this minute I learned that the author of Unpickled is a producer and host of The Bubble Hour! A small, alkie world!

Way to go, BND. Less is better than more. When it finally clicks you will see what a relief it is to not even have alcohol as a choice. All that deciding, bargaining, feeling deprived - so much energy!

Daisy - hilarious. Fabulous to feel that great about yourself, too.

K9 and Ava - Bring on the bitch. I can handle it. I will use your force against the cigs, and you'll be quit in no time. A plan sounds good, Ava. Where I live smoking has become so stigmatized that practically no one smokes in public (it is banned in all bars and restaurants), and you can find yourself at a huge cocktail party with NO one smoking. Of course, the big thing now is e-cigarettes - you can use them everywhere, so of course the teenagers and hipsters are using them. Sigh. But I figure if we can go from smoking everywhere to practically no where in 25 years, we could maybe do the same thing with booze. Change the mindset...

Pepper - I take fish oil for the promises it makes - who knows if it works, but I figure it can't hurt. I haven't noticed any mood difference.

Have to hit the hay, folks. Happy Tuesday - finishing it gratefully sober (and I'm not just saying that).

xo
Pav

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Somedays there are no mysteries, some days they're at every turn. The question I ask at the end of every day is what have I learned? Today it's the person I've met a thousand times I've never really met until this moment.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good on you Juj for making it through af, keep up the hard work, the rewards are enormous.

Dil, it is you that you are letting down. we are here to help you definitely and it is good to be accountable. if there is a next time beware the wrath of Ava if that will make you feel better. It took me many many attempts to get it and every af day is a good day. you are doing well.

well today was the first time in nearly 6 months that i truly wanted a drink. My son and i had a huge argument and work has been the pits but i know that al will not solve a damn thing. i have told my son to not talk to me at all and that i want a drink. Honesty is the best policy as far as i am concerned now and i certainly do not need the stress of his crap which was and is aimed at me. So as i know that chocolate solves all world problems that is what i am doing and i just needed to vent.

Byrd you may need to spray me with acid when i give up smoking, i will therefore only fail once, that is my theory.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

This is from the blog Crying Out Now - I think I posted it before, but since the Nest always has newbies...

Grieving the loss of alcohol:

Recently I’ve had the privilege of helping out a friend who is trying to get sober. It’s been a while since I’ve been in those early days, and as I’ve helped her and listened to her fears about sobriety, I remember.

And something struck me—something I’ve never thought of before. The grief process many of us go through, as we get sober.

They say in recovery, it works until it doesn’t. When I got sober in 2011 I came to a point when drinking just wasn’t working anymore. And I so, so wanted it to. I tried to make it work exactly like I would in a relationship with a lover. The one you have that intense connection with. So much history. But, you know you’re not good for each other. You know in your heart the relationship should end. But, you can’t even for one minute image your life without that person. It’s too painful to even think about. So you spend day after day with that person. Trying to make it work. Trying to make it fun again. Trying go back to the way it used to be. Reminiscing about old times when things were so good. So desperate for it to work again.

And it never does.

That’s what drinking alcoholically feels like.

And when we finally make that decision to get sober, at least for me, it absolutely felt like I was leaving a relationship. One that had protected me from all my fears in the world. Or so I thought. In the end of these relationships that are falling apart we do everything in our power to paint a picture of love. But, in reality it’s far from it. The relationship is causing us more sadness and anxiety that we can bear, so we hold on tighter to try to make it better. And the cycle starts all over again.

And I know because I’ve been in that intimate relationship with that real-life person when it fell apart and we split up. We were together for 13 years, had so much history and were bonded intensely. The grief I experienced was unlike any other. I was lost without him. I didn’t know who I was without him in my life. It was as if I had to learn how to “be”. The fear and grief were at times unbearable.

And after more than 2 years of sobriety I’ve suddenly realized getting sober feels like same thing.

Heartbreak. Grief. And fear.

I grieved and was heartbroken over the loss of alcohol. I grieved the loss of who I was when drinking actually did work. I grieved the fact that I now identified with a group of people that at one time I judged—at one time I swore I wasn’t one of them. I grieved that I would have to work hard at recovery—because just abstaining from alcohol wasn’t going to be enough for me. I grieved the loss of a part of me.

I feared facing my life without a means to numb and hide from the hard times. I feared that alcoholism really was something that was out of my control. I feared that for me, there would be no turning back once I knew for sure and admitted that I was a true alcoholic.

All of this isn’t to say that there isn’t so much to be gained from sobriety. I have a beautiful, sober life now. But, I write this post for anyone who might think that their feelings of grief and sadness are wrong. You need to feel what you feel. And if you feel grief about getting sober that’s okay. I’ve been one to over-think almost everything and this is one of them. I’ve made up that it has to mean something if I feel sad about it all. Am I headed for relapse? Shouldn’t I always feel happy now that I’m sober? Fear and grief are real feelings that we all feel. In my experience, having a spiritual connection has greatly reduced these feelings and I still turn to that connection every time I feel fear and grief come up. But, I remember in early sobriety, they were quite common feelings.

So if you’re in those early days please believe me that all of your feelings are normal.

And that it does get better.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

x post, Ava.

Big hugs to you, my dear. Don't know which son, but remember that kids lash out at moms because they know there is unconditional love there, and I know from how you write how much you love your kids. Chocolate works in such circumstances, although for me it is usually chocolate ice cream.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Pav