Newbies Nest

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1663324 wrote:
Sarah, I know what you mean about the twins thing! I kept talking to my neurologist about all the crazy shakes (I also have jumpy legs....do you?) and finally she said in a stern voice, YOU DO NOT HAVE PARKINSON'S! She tested me sideways from Sunday and assured me that I don't have that! So that put my mind at ease, ET is not a precursor to Parkinson's...according to my dr. I did not try any herbal supplements, I got such good results with Primidone that I closed the chapter and moved on!!!

Byrdie..well IDK? Do you mean like if you are sitting down and raise your foot a bit that your whole leg goes up and down? If so...yes, but not consistently. After doing more reading, I started to think of other moments... like 2 weeks ago when I cut back my Saga palms. It took an hour or so for my wrists to stop shaking after that. Last night I windexed some windows and started shaking (even though I had a couple of drinks). In fact, after 3 drinks or so...I still felt some shaking, but it seemed to come from both the wrists and also the gut if that makes sense. I did the heel/toe thingy you suggested (sober), and NO GO! In fact, I couldn't balance not even one time! (this is odd to me cause I used to be a cheerleader and did gymnastics when I was younger) I did the 'spiral' drawing u suggested and I did OK, but it looks a bit 'shaky' for lack of a better word.

I don't want to clutter the thread with our issues so I will get with you in PM, but I will be scheduling Dr appt soon. I might try the herb just until I can get to Dr. just to see if it helps.

Thanks to everyone else too! I KNOW I need to get AL out of my life, and I WILL do this!

Love,

Sarah

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

FF - how are you doing? Hope all is well...miss my buddy

Using my phone so this will be short but reading all the posts and congrats to all who are staying strong.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Dear Peppersnow! Thanks so much for your kind words! Day 61 is here for you! Let?s seize the day! I am just feeling so good that I have discovered I have will power! There is something still in a bag in the fridge and althoughth I know it is there I haven?t even looked to see what it is! On a day where my pet has been in the hospital and I filed my taxes! Pet is at home now and well, so don?t worry! Another, dr apt this afternoon which will for sure end the same as the other 5 I had this week but I will not let it get me down! I will clean this house, Do my excercises and nurse my sweet pet and then cuddle with my child on the sofa and watch whatever dumb show desired or maybe we can play a game. Have a great day nesters things are looking up! Don?t know how or when but I?m gonna will them to get better! Until then there is diet coke and aerobics!

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Mornin' all - just checking in. Feeling good today and looking forward to a productive day. I'm going to make some lists and get things done!!

Hope you all have a wonderful day. Sarah, so glad you are going to a doctor. I hope you get this figured out. And I know you will get the AL out of your life and you will not have one single regret - as the Nike ads say - Just Do It!

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Mornin'. Grrr. Lousy night's sleep due to anticipating today's frustrations. I will not drink.

Take care, all.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hey all, checking in on day 10! So nice to see double digits......
Up and out for a 4 mile walk this morning. Elections here, so voting done.
Now for a paint-filled day. Gotta get this backdrop finished for Sunday. They are having a rehearsal so it wikl be an opportunity to see how it looks.
Hope everyone has a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Sarah, your post made me think back to a couple weeks ago when we 'won' a lunch with our local meteorologist from the channel 6 news. It was a lunch for 4 with him so I invited a neighbor couple to go with us. We are in our 50's and 60's and the weatherman is about 29. I kinda felt sorry for the guy!! As we sat around and talked, I was pushing the onions out of the Chinese dish I had ordered. He asked, "Don't you like onions?" I said, "They don't like me.....If you sit around long enough with old people you will hear all about what we CAN'T eat anymore!!!" Gosh, that is so true! So I could sit on here all day talking about my aches and pains!! Bah!:H

We've got some big numbers being posted now! I would dare to say that I have never seen as much success as I have over this past year! It is truly amazing to witness! I mean we've got so many who are on the road to LONG term sobriety!!! It's wonderful! We are all in uncharted water with our current numbers! That's the place to be, you NEVER want to have to repeat a day (ugg, esp. Day 1).

Lav, ok, you've had your fun, now get back here! Glad you are having a great time on your much-needed outing. I hope it didn't RAIN! Girl, you got rained on more in the last 6 months than any other part of the country! (you should move).

As I was getting ready for work this morning, the thought occurred to me that I let FEAR prevent me from even trying to get sober. It was just too overwhelming to even attempt, so I didn't really try. For most of us, at one point or another, we have been on a diet and tried to drop a few pounds, right? Watching what you eat isn't fun, it's MORE fun to eat whatever the heck you want. Well, quitting drinking is JUST like that. It's not fun at first, but it is do-able. Yes, there are feelings of deprivation, but nothing that you can't overcome if you keep yourself busy. Quitting drinking is JUST LIKE dieting. So you know you can do that! Dieting is certainly NOT scary, and no one thinks you are a loser if you are trying to lose weight. We have this perception (that AL gives us) that it just can't be done. It can. It's really a lot scarier in our minds than in reality. Take the plunge!! My biggest regret is that I didn't do it sooner!

Hope everyone has a great pre holiday Thursday!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I think you are right.....I have been on and off here over 3 years and the success right now is amazing. I have never seen it so good; it is infectious and I want a piece of the action!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

daisy45;1663664 wrote: Byrdie, I think you are right.....I have been on and off here over 3 years and the success right now is amazing. I have never seen it so good; it is infectious and I want a piece of the action!

Hey, Daisy

I got the line in my signature about recovery being contagious from this speech by William White:

Recovery is Contagious

Many of us in this room know that addiction is contagious. Addiction was not a purpose we set out to achieve. We grew up in a world that castigated people with drug problems as dope fiends, crack heads, drunks, winos, and worse. None of us wrote an essay in 5th grade saying we wanted to be an addict when we grew up. One day in our lives, we chose to pick up, but we didn?t choose what followed. None of us wanted to so wound ourselves and those we love. We tried but could not prevent that harm from happening. Our addiction was not a choice; it was something we got caught up in and lost control over. Addiction is a disease of exposure?a collision between personal vulnerability and social opportunity. And that opportunity is often bred within psychological and social circumstances that made picking up again and again an attractive choice.

As a culture, we have recognized this process of social contagion. We have long referred to surges in alcohol and other drug problems as epidemics?a term most often applied to communicable diseases. But I am not here tonight to talk about disease. I am here to talk about recovery?something we rarely think of in terms of contagion. We usually think of recovery as something that arises from deep inside someone. We think of it as those rare transformative experiences like Bill Wilson experienced in a hospital room and Malcolm X experienced in a jail cell, or we think of it as a slow process of internal change?a process of spiritual awakening.

Folk wisdom says recovery comes only when we hit our own personal bottom. But recovery did not come to some of you in this room by hitting bottom. Some of you lived on the bottom, and recovery remained a stranger. Some of you were drowning in pain, had lost everything but your life to addiction?and recovery still did not come. When it finally arrived, it wasn?t forced on you and you didn't initially choose it. You caught recovery in spite of yourself. And you caught it from other people in recovery?from people here at NET and from people in the recovery fellowships meeting every day throughout this city.

Let me be clear and brutally honest. Some of you did not come to NET seeking recovery. Many of you had never even seen long-term recovery in the flesh?had no idea what it even looked like. Many of you came to treatment not because of the monkey on your back, but the people on your butt. Some of you came looking not for recovery but respite?a break from the life, not an end to it. Some of you came to escape the threat of jail. Some of you came to keep or get back important people in your life. The reasons were many and may have changed every day, but recovery was not at the top of that list. And yet many of you have started what will be a lifelong recovery journey. So how did this miracle happen?

My message tonight is a simple one: Recovery is contagious. That message is the centerpiece of the recovery revolution sparked by the leadership Dr. Arthur Evans, Jr. brought to the City of Philadelphia more than five years ago. That message is what has made NET one of the leading treatment centers in the country. And there is no better example of this process than what is happening right here, right now. This night is a celebration of the contagiousness of recovery and the fulfilled promises recovery has brought into our lives. Some of you did not leave the streets to find recovery; recovery came to the streets and found you. And it did so through volunteers of the NET Consumer Council walking those streets. They put a face and voice on recovery. They told you that recovery was possible, and they offered their stories as living proof of that proposition. They told you they would walk the road to recovery with you. Some of you hit low points in the early days of that journey, and it was your brothers and sisters in this room that lifted you back up?who called when you missed group, who, in some cases, went and got you. Many of you were buried deep within a culture of addiction?a way of thinking, feeling, acting, and relating as powerful as the drugs you were taking. The NET community and the larger recovery community of Philadelphia helped you escape and welcomed you into membership in another world?a culture of recovery. And this moment we are sharing together tonight stands as witness to the vitality of that recovery culture.

Recovery is contagious only through interpersonal connection?only in the context of community. For those still in the life to find hope and recovery, they must take the unlikely risk of leaving their cocooned world or we must risk going to get them. The outreach work of the NET Consumer Council has a poignant message for this country?s efforts to prevent and treat addiction. If we are really serious about addiction, then we should reach those who are at early stages of their addiction careers and not wait until decades of devastation finally bring them to the doors of a treatment center. We need to correct the community conditions in which addiction flourishes. We need to protect those most vulnerable to addiction. We need assertive intervention programs that shorten addiction careers and extend recovery careers. To achieve those goals, we must carry resilience and recovery into the very heart of local drug cultures. We must make the transformative potential of recovery visible to those who need it the most.

The contagion of addiction is transmitted through a process of infection?the movement of addiction disease from one vulnerable person to another. The contagion of recovery is spread quite differently?not through infection, but affection.1 Those who spread such affection are recovery carriers. Recovery carriers?because of the nature of their character and the quality of their lives ?exert a magnetic attraction to those who are still suffering. Recovery carriers affirm that long-term recovery is possible and that the promises of recovery are far more than the removal of drugs from an otherwise unchanged life. They tell us that we have the potential to get well and to then get better than well. They challenge us to stop being everyone?s problem and to become part of the solution. They relate to us from a position of profound empathy, emotional authenticity, respect and moral equality?lacking even a whisper of contempt. Most importantly, they offer us love. Yeah, some of us got loved into recovery, and I don't mean in the way some of you with smiles on your faces may be thinking. The affection at the heart of the recovery community you have created here at NET is being extended as a force for building resistance, resilience, and recovery within the larger Philadelphia community and beyond.

We all have the potential to be recovery carriers. Becoming a recovery carrier requires several things. It requires that we protect our recoveries at all cost?Recovery by any means necessary under any circumstances. It requires that we help our families recover. It requires the courage to reach out to those whose lives are being ravaged. It requires that we give back to NET and other organizations that helped us along the way. And it requires that in our new life, we try to heal the wounds we inflicted on our community in our past life.

Addiction is visible everywhere in this culture, but the transformative power of recovery is hidden behind closed doors. It is time we all became recovery carriers. It is time we helped our community, our nation, and our world recover. To achieve this, we must become recovery. We must be the face and voice of recovery. We must be the living future of recovery.

So to all who are here tonight?individuals and families in recovery and allies of recovery, I leave you with this message. Recovery is contagious. Get close to it. Stay close to it. Catch it. Keep catching it. Pass it on.

1 I wish to acknowledge Kathy Griffin, who first brought this distinction to my attention

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar, thanks for that - I can really 'feel, it on this site right now - it's as if they are speaking about MWO - power of the people!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

daisy45;1663677 wrote: NoSugar, thanks for that - I can really 'feel, it on this site right now - it's as if they are speaking about MWO - power of the people!

He is talking about an in-person program. I think it is amazing (and wonderful ) that an online forum can serve the same role. I guess we really are wired for connection - however we happen to go about it. So glad you're really "feeling it" this time!

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for sharing that speech NoSugar. Helpful way to look at it in the medical model with memes instead of germs.

Think I'll put AL right next to protein and carbs Byrdie and each day is should say 0 g. Thanks.

Well ended my umpteenth day one by 'napping' before heading to the Dojan and waking up after the class had started. Passed right back out at 10:30 p. Woke up this morning for day two and I may as well have crawled out of the grave. Tired and introspective. Reflecting on HALT and triggers as well as on my own interpretations of the past. I blame no one for the choices that I have made but perhaps I have been misinterpreting my own responses to events.

Anywho. Back to work.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Feeling a little down and out of sorts today. Something happened yesterday that blindsided me, and it was an act of betrayal, although "throwing me under the bus" might be a better way to explain it. So I've gone about handling it way differently than I ever would have. Yes, this is new to me.

Before going AF, my initial reaction would have been to lose my mind, scream, probably punch a wall or someone (no, not a person or a wall) but cry. Then I would have marched right to the source, lost it on that person, and then to another person to defend myself and probably said things about the person that I would have regretted. After playing lunatic for a few hours, I would have stopped to buy wine or vodka, and drank myself silly. I would have gotten up today for work and felt like crap from the hangover, and even more crap for the way I immaturely acted the day before. No, I would not have gotten anything solved, and would have felt physically and emotionally a wreck. As it was, I took the news of what I found out first calmly, then I started to get angry, then I started to cry. Not for too long, though. I talked this out with a close girlfriend at work, and I told her to keep me from doing anything stupid. I promised her I would call her first if I wanted to email my boss, or worse, approach her - I didn't want to do either. That helped me. Then I told my story to loamers and they were able to give me feedback. So today, I'm not angry anymore, just really tired. I guess it's still on my mind and I'm tired of thinking about it. But just wanted to say, I didn't drink at that thing, person, or situation. If I would have done that, it would not have solved anything! I was able to use the tools I learned here for another different life situation. We can apply any of these great ideas to other areas of our lives. We just have to "do" it.

NS, I really liked that and copied it for my journal. I think becoming involved in recovery, and realizing that it's not just quitting an addiction, that it's much more comprehensive than that, makes one successful in their recovery program, whatever they choose that to be. But I do believe that it is contagious through interpersonal connection, and we have that at MWO because this is a community of people with a common goal. Those who spread "affection" not infection are recovery carriers.

BBlues, you sound terrific and I like that you're making mental plans of what you'll do to keep your day AF.

Dottie, I like that you still make AF plans for special weekends coming up. Not getting complacent when you have lots of time like yourself is soooooo important. We need to keep this in the front of our minds and always be on guard.

Juja, Liked what you said, "just be for now." That's all you have to do.

Daisy, congrats on your 10! Super!

Byrdie, good analogy with the diet thing. Although I'm still shoveling crap into my body, I've been saying to myself, I just have to get on the treadmill for 20 minutes. That's it. I was getting overwhelmed with counting calories, thinking that I should do my workout video, and then my treadmill, but for today, I'm going to walk on the treadmill for 20. That's it.

Have a great evening.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NS, gosh, that post outta be in yonder Tool Box! It's very uplifting and describes our community here very well. Wow, how do you find these nuggets??

J-vo, I got so mad the other day I cried, too. Crap still happens, huh? I'm sorry you are having a low spell, but you are feeling it at least and not numbing yourself up to it! Your muscles are getting stronger by the day!!

Great to see everyone!! Orimus, hang in there!!
Back on my head for work. UGG......Byrdie

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

I'm feeling the energy here, too. Something's going on, and I find it very curious, as if there's a new force in the nest.

Day 5 down. I went to the grocery store, and didn't even think about wine. I admit I did this morning, before my grueling day began, but I quickly put it out of my head. I had a moment, too, of wondering if I could really do this. Did I want to do this? The answer is yes. I want to get to the place where I don't think about AL.

Separated husband asked me for a date this weekend, but I weaseled my way out. I want to do what I want, when I want, and I don't want anything on my calendar. He was hurt, I could tell, but his feelings aren't my problem. Something else I need to work on....

Everyone be happy, and stay strong.