Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Juj sorry you caved but at the end of the day you are the only one who can stop the madness with al. In saying that be strong, be safe and proud of you for coming straight back here. It's hard when the only way we know how do deal with stress is with al but as you said as time goes on it's easier to say no. Hugs jujs you will get there and every af day is a good one

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Juja
you will be ok, another day and a new beginning, put it behind you and look ahead. You have an ending and a beginning. Now it is time to enjoy your beginning, AF.
Sam

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Juja,

Sorry to hear this. But today's a new day .... Come back to roll call ....

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

After about 24 hours without electricity I'm very grateful to have a working laptop again! (And no, sweetest naughtiest puppy was not the culprit this time, I think...)



Juja, Al may give us the confidence to say what must be said, but sadly it's a false confidence. Your life is difficult right now, and I really hope things work out for the best for you. I'm glad that you came right back, though - and shout when you need help!

Maria, welcome here! The Nest really saved my life - I learnt such a lot from the people here - not only from the wise and caring Nest Mothers but from each and every poster. The next few days will be difficult, but come and tell us about it instead of reaching for the bottle.

Daisy, what a hike! but, you're safe and sound, and that's all that really counts, isn't it!

A big :waving: and :l:l:l to those I haven't mentioned by name - it's a busy Monday for me - but wishing everybody a great AF day!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1664428 wrote:

Sarah, I so appreciate how you think of everyone else in your posts and always have something encouraging to say, so thank you for that. And way to go Juja, Dila and everyone else who is doing a Holiday weekend AL free for the first time.
Thanks Pepper..means alot. I'm still on this journey and hope to be where you are!!

Family is staying with us this long weekend, and I've been really nervous about telling him for a bunch of reasons (they are very fit people and normal drinkers). When my brother was making a booze run yesterday and asked what I wanted, my husband walked past us and yelled out. "she's on the wagon" before I could say anything! Made me laugh because DH and I've never really talked about it, but I know he likes these changes in me so I think he was trying to be helpful.

I laughed at this sooo hard cause my DH would say the exact same thing! I can see him walking by with his hand up in the air and just continue walking while saying that....LOL!!

It seems you had a wonderful time at the bonfire and seems you have a wonderful hubby and family who are behind you 100%. This makes me very happy for you. Please continue to be an inspiration to all of us here! :h

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Juja- don't be so down on yourself! Ending a relationship is extremely hard. I went thru a terrible divorce and custody battle for years....I couldn't breathe much less try to stop drinking 'anything' during that time.

IMO, I think it's important to work on your emotions and physical state right now. AL dependency to me is nothing more than self-medicating. So maybe see a psychiatrist or divorce counselor or patron of your Church who can help you get thru this hard time. I believe ( I stress "I") that until you find some 'peace' you will continue to self-medicate...and that's no good either. Get some help in whatever fashion makes you able to breathe again, but don't use AL to medicate your body or your mind.

Maybe I'm totally off base with you, as maybe you are happy to rid of this person and you drank to just drink. However, my 'gut' says this isn't the case entirely. Plz know you can always PM me as I've been there with the divorce, etc....and it was the most excrutiating time of my life. I'll try to help in anyway I can.

Thinking of you during this time and I hope you find that peace soon!

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Juja- don't be so down on yourself! Ending a relationship is extremely hard. I went thru a terrible divorce and custody battle for years....I couldn't breathe much less try to stop drinking 'anything' during that time.

IMO, I think it's important to work on your emotions and physical state right now. AL dependency to me is nothing more than self-medicating. So maybe see a psychiatrist or divorce counselor or patron of your Church who can help you get thru this hard time. I believe ( I stress "I") that until you find some 'peace' you will continue to self-medicate...and that's no good either. Get some help in whatever fashion makes you able to breathe again, but don't use AL to medicate your body or your mind.

Maybe I'm totally off base with you, as maybe you are happy to rid of this person and you drank to just drink. However, my 'gut' says this isn't the case entirely. Plz know you can always PM me as I've been there with the divorce, etc....and it was the most excrutiating time of my life. I'll try to help in anyway I can.

Thinking of you during this time and I hope you find that peace soon!

Love,

Sarah

[Maria1967]

Newbies Nest

Day Two

Hello,

This is the morning of Day Two in my decision to stop drinking alcohol. I haven't eaten yet, I have no appetite, I didn't eat yesterday and I think this must be because of the overwhelming feelings of remorse and guilt.

I had forgotten why I stopped drinking for over three years a few years ago. Saturday night was my rock bottom, I am mad enough as it is, alcohol fucks me up completely. The one thing I now realise is that even though I didn't drink everyday, the alcohol must have remained in my system and making me crazy.

If I tell friends that I've decided to quit drinking, they will think I'm mad. I can hear them tell me now, but you drink very little but they haven't seen the whole picture and I've heard once but had forgotten the meaning, its not the quantity, its the effect alcohol has

Maria

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Juja, sorry you came unstuck under those circumstances. I'm currently in the process of divorce and separation from my soon to be ex wife. The reasons for separation were not pretty. She cheated, and I could never get over it. The worst part was when I made the decision to leave, the stress of it became so much worse. The level of drinking increased for both of us. It was only when I left her that I managed to curb my drinking, and now plan to remain AF. I haven't yet got past the awful stress of the marriage breakdown and separation. There will be more tests for me no doubt. But it's getting better. I can see the positive future ahead. I hope you can too, and have faith that you will be happy in the near future. Being AF is a great way to be to achieve that. That's been my experience. Good luck and stay strong.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Maria,

You are in the right place to get the help and support you need. I think you need a structured plan. Do you have a plan? Be prepared for the moments when you are vulnerable. Eating nice food and exercise, and reading and posting here work wonders.

Good luck and stay around.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone.

I've just had a wonderful weekend with my family. I spent it with my 2 sons, all of my siblings and my dad, and all of their spouses, partners etc. it was a beautiful weekend in all respects. The weather was perfect, beach location. Just magic.

We were celebrating several birthdays including my own. I turn 50 this Wednesday!!! The temptation of AL was there. But it was easy to resist. I thought some would challenge me to drink, but no one did. Most assumed the marathon training was the reason for not drinking. I was going to use that as my excuse, but I didn't need to say anything.

So I survived not drinking, had a wonderful time without any AL and have happy memories of it. The entire weekend just reinforced my decision that AF is the best way for me. It made me so happy.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Maria1967;1664754 wrote: Hello,

This is the morning of Day Two in my decision to stop drinking alcohol. I haven't eaten yet, I have no appetite, I didn't eat yesterday and I think this must be because of the overwhelming feelings of remorse and guilt.

I had forgotten why I stopped drinking for over three years a few years ago. Saturday night was my rock bottom, I am mad enough as it is, alcohol fucks me up completely. The one thing I now realise is that even though I didn't drink everyday, the alcohol must have remained in my system and making me crazy.

If I tell friends that I've decided to quit drinking, they will think I'm mad. I can hear them tell me now, but you drink very little but they haven't seen the whole picture and I've heard once but had forgotten the meaning, its not the quantity, its the effect alcohol has

Maria

Maria you dont need to tell anyone you are not drinking if you dont want a reaction. If someone had of said to me in the early days that "i was not that bad", i would have thought mmm your right and drank. any excuse to drink and i would have grabbed it. The early days are bad as that al brain will tell you that you were not that bad, anything to entice you to drink. You are on an alky site so you have a problem, we all drank different quantities and we all got to our bottom and with help and support from fellow alkies it is totally possible to stop. We understand the addiction better than most, we know the lies, the depression, the anxiety, the guilt, the denial. We know how hard it is to stop. It will take at least a week for the al to get out of your system and this is why the al brain starts after a few days to get you to drink and you cant. The hardest thing for me was realising i was an alcoholic and i could never drink again and that means never ever ever and being totally honest to everyone on mwo and myself.

Keep on here and post and post, avoid being in situations where there is al and take care of yourself. You will feel better in a week or two.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

I have a house full of company and am serving wine, beer, margaritas, mojitos and I am drinking...... diet coke!!! Yeah for me! I am cooking gumbo, carrot cake, fresh corn bread and a beautiful salad. I?ve got the music going and my husband has come in the kitchen a few times to spin me around. I?m resisting the you can have a glass or the one little sip by saying it doesn?t go with the other meds I have to take and I am having a fabulous time!!! Come on Nesters pat yourself on the back and say yeehaw!!!!

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the support, everyone. I was scared to come here this morning, thinking I would be lambasted. I had an ah-ha moment when I realized I would get love and support instead. I was right. You folks are the best.

Petrel>So, we're in the same place--sort of. I am so much happier on my own, and out of that marriage. We can help each other along the way. Pm me anytime. Happy Birthday, too, and I'm glad you had a great weekend!

available>I know I can't use AL as a balm for my pain. I drank yesterday because I couldn't escape the uncomfortable situation/feelings. But, dammit, I'll get there. I've made some good progress on numerous fronts, and will continue to move forward.

Sarah>Thanks for being so understanding. I am glad to be out of this marriage, btw. I have no second thoughts about it at all. I don't love him anymore, and that's that. I'm so happy to be away from his controlling behavior, and neediness. I feel like a snake shedding her skin, and finding her real self underneath. Same goes for being AF.
MARIA> Yes, I'm shouting your name! Please stick with us. Stay very close. We're all here for the same reason, regardless of what effect AL has on us. We've all got the same problem, and we're here to beat it.

I'm so pleased that so many of you are having great weekends. My heart is warmed reading about good family times, food, and hikes, all without AL.

I'm back, my friends. I'm back. Day 8 out of 9!

Love to all.

[Maria1967]

Newbies Nest

Thanks

I feel like crap and have a lot of amends to do. I am working at the moment and one of my colleagues is suffering from a hangover. I've resisted the urge to talk about my decision to quit the drink, dont think she would hear me and thats the mistake I made before, I tried to convince others I had an issue with drink and either they didn't believe me or they simply didn't care.

With regards a structural plan, I dont have one yet. There is so much remorse and guilt feelings right now that I cant manage beyond going to work. I did think of getting healthy again and I really want to.

I will make a conscious effort to drink plenty of water this afternoon.

Thats as much as I can do for now.

Thanks everyone for listening to me

Maria