Newbies Nest

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Ok everyone, I?m now not so great, feeling tempted now! I love cava! eeek time for dessert. Geez.... Welcome back Juja! Arms are always open and willing to give cyber hugs! You?ll get it girl! Welcome Maria, the nest is always better when we?re all together, the more the merrier! Sorry, so self absorbed didn?t see all the posts from the last day or so. Everybody hang tough.... and say yes to life dance more and drink less, no don?t drink at all. Geez, I need a mock tail! Happy birthday Petral! The rest of ya have a good one.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Booze, that feeling will pass - it probably has done so already; the regret if you drink anything now will stay with you a lot longer. Can you do something to distract you? I found reading old posts here on the boards a great help.

Maria, in my experience, the people with a drinking problem were the ones who told me that my drinking "wasn't that bad", the moderate drinkers and non-drinkers were the ones who encouraged me. Our drinking buddies feel threatened when we stop or talk about stopping: they are faced with the loss of a drinking buddy or are forced to face their own drinking behaviour.

Petrel, each new AF experience reinforces my belated but wise decision to stop drinking. Glad to hear you had such a god weekend. Are you baking us a cake for Wednesday?

Juja, it takes guts to come here and bare your soul. We understand that. Stay strong, and stay with us - no matter how long it takes to get Al out of your life.

I love getting Marc and Angels' posts in my inbox - here's another good one I received today: 10 Things You Need to Say Before it?s Too Late One quote from it: ?I CAN do this!? ? The obstacle is never enough to stop you. What stops you is your belief that you can?t get past the obstacle. The problem is not that you have too much of this or too little of that. The problem is, you?re waiting for perfect conditions that don?t exist. The achievements that really occur in life, take place in reality. The things that really get done, get done in an imperfect world. Don?t make excuses for why you can?t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. There will always be challenges. And there will always be things you can do to grow beyond them.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

BBlues, hang tight...the temptation will pass if you 'see' what that little drink will get you....hiding and gulping, topping off while no one is looking....yes that one little drink can land you right back in the rabbit hole. Don't do it! AL is JUST not worth all the trouble any more!

Maria, a strong Plan will help you navigate yourself thru the situations you are speaking of. Take it from us, telling people you are cutting down because you might have a problem INVITES the comments like "oh YOU don't have a problem!" "Just ONE won't hurt you!" "Hell, I drink MORE than you do!" "It's MONDAY, you can start tomorrow". The trouble is, misery loves company, (actually, it likes miserable company). If your drinking friends see you not drinking, it shines a light on them, too...who wants that, if they get you to cave, then they don't feel so bad. This is a dog fight, so do what you have to do to maintain your quit. If that means coming up with a white lie, so be it. Make it ironclad so no one can shoot holes in it. Tell them it's aggravating an ulcer or you are taking meds or you have acid reflux or something. Telling people you are trying to cut down because it's a problem is like a thin person saying they are trying to lose weight....'Are you nuts?' Eat this, it won't hurt you'. NO one knows the mind games of an Alkie like another Alkie....so get your story down and stick with it.

Guilt and Shame have another brother and his name is Remorse. You may see this acronym around here....the GSR Brothers....it's Guilt/Shame/Remorse...they travel in packs, but I'll tell you, once you get AL out of the picture, the GSR's go home and stay there.

A solid plan will help you along this path tremendously. Surround yourself with things you love to do and eat. As alkies, many of us didn't eat so much as we drank. So a lot of times, we mistake hunger for a really bad craving. Keep your tummy full and that will be your silver bullet to success. Keep hydrated, too. Unfortunately, wishing and hoping that you will not drink doesn't really work. As you can clearly see from this website, this process takes WORK. It's just like a job. We all have a compulsion to drink AL, so it takes some planning to work around all that, we must find ways to cope with our new lifestyle. Boredom is a big factor....you will now have a lot more hours in the day to fill, so plan activities to keep yourself occupied. If you have time to sit and dwell on what you can't have...well, we are not Superman, we will probably cave, keep yourself bust and on task!! Check in here all thru out the day, it really helps to know you are not alone....there are people all over the world doing this with you. Be aware of the triggers of HALT....Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Head them off at the pass. It may seem overwhelming at times...but I believe something so strongly I put it in my signature line....all you gotta do, it get thru THIS day. Byrdie

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

I just posted this for Bri in her thread but thought it may help someone in NN......
Good job bri! I am on day 163 and I still get the odd out of the blue craving although they are farther apart like Byrdie said. I really struggled around 100 days. I felt very much like "is this all there is?" And very blah like. Pavati said.... Reading about PAWS or listening to a podcast about it really helps .... I have had to learn to accept that yes, this is it. There is no amazing perfect life zapped into being because I quit drinking. There are amazing days and moments. Like waking up without a hangover every day, not worrying about counting alcohol cans/bottles, freedom from hiding and shame, driving whenever I want/need, not planning my activities around drinking, an alert mind that dreams if more than just a drink and checking out.
I think normies realized this in their normal development process (the one we were drinking away)---that life is amazing bc of many amazing moments linked together with a few wow moments interspersed here and there. We alkies seem to think we are entitled to wow moments bc of our struggle to live in reality..... When in actuality that is reality- struggling through some moments, cherishing amazing moments, accepting good and bad, happy and sad.... And being grateful that we are here and alert enough to really see the WOW moments when they happen.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Dream think do and Byrdie! I keep going to the bathroom to check my phone when they are refilling glasses! It really does have my own personal cheer team. Thanks all, will be checking in all night. you all are the best!

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Wow thanks Ican without a can! I love your name!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks BB.....hang in there. U can too! I went on a ladies beach trip last week with a bunch of drinkers. They know my story and I actually said one night, "I'll
Have to start drinking with y'all if you keep it up" I think I wanted them to give me the okay. It was weird. Anyway they all said, "no, you are doing too well!" And the thought vanished and I made it all week around them drinking no problem." I do drink non alcoholic beer but it is not a problem for me.... Others are very against that - personal thing I guess you have to figure out for yourself

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good mid-morning Nesters

I've been busy for hours, feeding, watering & pottying 4 dogs & 27 hens :H :H
I am dog sitting for my son this week so I have 2 extra large dogs on my hands.

Juja, I drank AT my husband for years. All I ever wanted was for him to pull his head out of his ass but he just wouldn't. He left a full year+ after I quit drinking, so much for out nearly 40 year marriage, huh? I didn't even think about drinking again - I just couldn't. In that AF year I finally figured out that he chooses to wake up everyday & behave the way he does (did). Now, exactly 4 years later he has returned & has been on his best behavior - not perfect but very much improved. I don't know what to say to you except that you need to look out for yourself first & foremost

Maria, I didn't tell anyone except my closest family that I quit drinking. It's really no one's damn business but yours! Do what you have to do to feel your best!

Petrel, happy pre-birthday to you!!!!
I remember turning 50 (10 years ago) :H

Wishing everyone a safe & AF Memorial day!

Lav

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Booze Blues;1664853 wrote: Thanks Dream think do and Byrdie! I keep going to the bathroom to check my phone when they are refilling glasses! It really does have my own personal cheer team. Thanks all, will be checking in all night. you all are the best!

Checking your phone in the bathroom must be a lot better, easier and nicer than slipping away to guzzle down a sneak drink while the others are gently sipping their first! Enjoy the rest of your dinner party!

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

The mocktails are helping me but cleaning up I am grossed out by it but confess am tempted by others left overs but in one full swoop dumped out those glasses as quickly as I could! That is definately a sure sign. Sorry to be so disgusting! Better get back to my guests and my mocktail! Thanks everyone!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

:cheering::yes2::greatjob2:Booze Blues,
You certainly are an inspiration here - how you are finding happiness in the beginning of the night with music getting ready for the party, being honest about your temptation, checking in on your phone throughout the night!! I'm so proud of you that you got through this night in such a healthy way and stayed connected the whole time! You did what you needed to do to stay sober.

Daisy, your mountain climb adventure was hilarious, not so much for you, but thank you for the great story!

Maria, welcome! I agree with Lav in that you don't need to tell anyone anything right now. Just concentrate on drinking your water, and maybe after work, reading through the toolbox a bit and come up with a top ten list of things that will help you daily stay AF. So glad you're here.

Juja, your situation must be extremely hard, but I'm glad you're not going anywhere. Every day you come back makes you stronger.

Petrel, your weekend sounded magical! So happy for you and can't wait until Wednesday, your 50th! We'll have a huge MWO party!

DTD, thanks for that inspiration - the things that get done, get done in an imperfect world...

ICan, what a great post! Thanks for that

Had a few moments this weekend where I went to a little pity party for myself. But I think it's all due to the newness of my AL-free life. I went to a graduation party and was distracted by the flow of Al around me. It was a bit hard to focus on conversation, as I was people watching. But, then redirecting my mind to what alcohol was really like for me, I'm relieved to know that I won't make a fool of myself anymore at these types of parties, I get to sleep through the night without waking from crippling anxiety anymore, won't wake up feeling like death, and now I get to enjoy a beautiful Memorial Day. Those are gifts of an imperfect world, and I'd say they're pretty special.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Morning (here, anyway) Nest:

Juja - Sorry you drank. Part of quitting for me is figuring out how to have those hard conversations without the aid of alcohol. It takes a little extra oomph at the beginning, but ultimately goes so much better with a clear head and honest feelings. I'm glad you hopped right back in the nest - here's some four ply butt velcro to keep you strong.

Ican - I love that post. It is true (and a bit startling) that life is not suddenly one big festival of unicorns and glitter without alcohol - it is still life, replete with ups and downs. It feels more honest, somehow, and certainly easier, to get through those downs without the crutch of alcohol - to actually feel the feelings as they come and work through them with an inner strength I didn't know was there.

Pepper - Your description of your family sounds like mine. I am facing a reunion with many cousins in June - I know there are some that drink too much - it is going to be interesting to say the least.

BoozeBlues - Good on you for posting here - tempted by leftovers does not gross me out - I certainly have been guilty of polishing off that glass of wine while cleaning up. But who the heck leaves wine left in a glass?? I know I NEVER did that. So happy that you made it through, posting and reading all the way.

Maria - Welcome to the nest - it is true that any amount of alcohol that makes you feel that bad is not a good amount. It is also true that sometimes we are in denial at how much we actually do drink (my two drinks that were actually probably triples, for example). Not feeling like eating is a withdrawal symptom from alcohol as well. If you can, eat as much as you can. If you can't eat, maybe make a good fruit smoothie or drink a milkshake. The empty stomach will be calling for alcohol in no time. I hope you settle in the nest and find the support we all have.

Petrel - Happy almost birthday. Sounds like a lovely weekend - how nice to enjoy it alcohol free. When is your marathon again?

Dreamy - Glad your computer is fixed. Hope you're having an excellent Moliday.

Byrdie, Lav - Eat well today - there might be extra clinging to your tail feathers after this long weekend.

Happy Memorial Day US folks, and Happy Monday everyone else. Life, she is good.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

x post, J-Vo. Hi!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

And a quick YAHOO to Frances for 90 days. I know that was a gigantic milestone for me. I hope you feel proud, happy and accomplished. I have enjoyed following your journey and look forward to many happy sober days with you...

Pav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hey all - day 14 today......felt the call of the oul vino yesterday, but after a humungous dinner and treats it passes.
Went back up the mountain today and unbelievably, found my bag - contents soaking, but so happy!
Going to give the climb another go in the next couple of weeks - you would not have heard me say that yesterday......
Will read back and check in later.....