Newbies Nest

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer
Glad to see you are back and posting. A great place to start helping yourself.
ok so now the first hard part is over, getting it on the table that you can't control drinking once you start. I strongly advise taking that bull by the horns and begin turning it into a positive. Shame and regret are a result of the booze, the negative. Being alive and interacting in a sober, fulfilled way is the result of not drinking, the positive. So I read that you don't know how not to drink, there needs to be a mind shift here... "I know how to stay sober." You gotta start making these simple subtle changes. YOU ARE IN CONTROL, not alcohol. Excuses made are just that. Make the switch and mentally tell yourself "this very minute I'm sober, this very day I'm sober" . When I started, every morning when I woke up, I swung my legs around sitting on my bed, feet flat on the floor, said thank you for being alive and declared myself sober: "I am sober".

Make it happen, you can do it because you are here trying!!!
Sam

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Sam, I guess a big part of me was having to get over my ego and admit I have a problem and that when I drink I lose control. As someone who prides herself on always being in control that is a real blow to my ego. I want, no I have to stop drinking. I want to not want to drink. How do you find the strength to overcome your own mind. When the "My God, I just need a drink" hits you and you can't get to the store fast enough. I thought it would be easy, its not. My way is not working for me. I need help finding the right way.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer
this is going sound simplistically silly but what I did was tell myself I don't drink. So to enforce that, I would not go by the beer isle because I did not need to. It is more a letting go rather than a forced way. The old let go and let god thing. I don't drink so I don't need to worry with it. It is early in the scheme of things but once you begin that shift in your mind, it will take hold and eventually you will really enjoy not drinking because you know oh so well the "dark side".

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Shaking this monkey off our back, getting AL to stop whispering in our ear . . . It is most definitely not easy. Still a work in progress for me but I don't think there is any one way. Here though we can help you find your way. I would suggest first be very clear about your reason for wanting sobriety to be your lifestyle. Because it is a lifestyle. Then head on over to the Toolbox (link below) and take a look at what those who have traveled this road before us have found helpful.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

I want to not want to drink. I am going to chant in my head "I don't drink" until its an auto-response. I don't want to be this person anymore. I just have to find my back to who I used to be. And maybe that's not right, maybe I should create a new me. I'm kind of at a loss right now...a broken arrow, looking for a way to mend myself for good. The shame I feel some days threatens to overshadow me in its darkness. I pray for strength and the wisdom to overcome this.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Gosh Cherokeer, it pains me to see you beat yourself up like this. You are going to church? I know God loves you. He absolutely does and He doesn't see all this stuff you're piling on yourself.

Have you thought about medicine?

Personally, I've been an alcoholic for almost 25 years and have been trying to quit since I was 20. Gosh, before I could legally drink, I was already struggling and knew I had a problem. I am sick of the shame, the insecurity, etc. I decided to start with Naltrexone a couple weeks ago. If this doesn't work, I'm going to try the bac.

I don't think any of us a moral failures, weak people, negative, ungrateful, etc. I think we have a biological problem that we need help with. I'm done with shame. It never helps.

I pray you find some answers.

[done with it]

Newbies Nest

OMG how many of you have tried and failed, I have tried so many times, and I want to stop, some one please tell how to do this

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Gracie, I'm struggling for sure. I was on Topamax for migraines but I weaned myself off of it because I couldn't think straight with it and I need to be sharp for work. I want to change, I want to get back to the girl who looked and felt good. I'm finally willing to admit I don't know everything and I need the help and wisdom from people who have walked this road before me. I'm humbled now.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Done
glad to have you aboard!!

tool box link below is a good place to start:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Post daily. Don't look beyond today. Do roll call every day :
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...990-68536.html

be kind to yourself and honest. Do a random act of kindness for someone else! Be positive in your quit. Think of the good it will do, not the regret of having to quit. Enjoy it, wallow in it.
Best
Sam

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer - I understand about wanting to be the person you were but you are right in that we can't go back. For myself I have found that we can, however, use who we were as the skeleton to figure out who we wish to become. How to build the life we want. Everything else before has been prelude to now, we write the rest.

Done and Cherokeer - as Sam said check out the Toolbox where those who have walked this path before us and with us share the techniques that have worked for them. There really is no one way but we are all here to help each other find the way that works for each, to build the lifestyle that supports and nurtures us. The support we give each other comes from checking in here each day as Sam is suggesting, reading around.

Just my two cents.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Ori, I do know where I want to be. Figuring out how to get there, now that is the challenge. One day at a time I guess.

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Done - I know I have tried several times. Before that it was moderating with Kudzu Root and St. John's but I was still at the level of a heavy drinker though it was way down and I could fake it. My drinking was just not where I needed it to be because I hadn't changed my lifestyle much.

You'll find most people here have tried to quit dozens of times before it stuck and then there are those of us, like me, still working at it.

Feel like telling us a little of your story?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

done with it;1665959 wrote: OMG how many of you have tried and failed, I have tried so many times, and I want to stop, some one please tell how to do this
Cherokeer;1665970 wrote: I want to change, I want to get back to the girl who looked and felt good. I'm finally willing to admit I don't know everything and I need the help and wisdom from people who have walked this road before me. I'm humbled now.

Admitting you've got a problem that you can't control on your own and asking for help is a giant first step. You will not believe how many people here will be willing to help you if you let them and if you do your part.

You've posted in the Newbies Nest, so you're off and running. To learn 'how to do this', keep reading (including The Toolbox; link below) and posting. Ask questions. Run your plans by people here -- someone will perhaps pick up on something you've missed and need to change to improve your odds of success.

If this is going to be your main tool for getting free of this addiction (it has been mine), you need to really USE the site. For most people that means spending a great deal of time here, especially at the beginning. Spend your former drinking time poking around on MWO.

Once a person is committed to doing this, the support needed to get it done is here but it does require a great deal of motivation on the part of the person. This isn't just will-power, which only works for a time. This involves literally changing your brain to one of a non-drinker.

Glad you both joined!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Wow great to see new comers participating.

I need to set my life straight. I have been drinking, have been too irresponsible, no regard for work timings, sleep timings, no interest in spending time with family. All about drinking and drinking.

Good alcohol is 3 months behind me and I need to protect my quits. But leaving AL is one thing setting my life on track is another. What a mess I have made my
Life. I am not talking in depressing tone but simply introspecting, dont have time do anything. Complaining about soooo busy to myself and everyone. Disorganized. I AL is behind then y not everything else in order. Still plenty of bad habits to conquer. Sleeping early for one, waking up early anofhwr . time management ... Etc. Etc.

Take care

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

No sugar, it's interesting what you write about using the site. That is what I am hoping to do. Right now I'd normally be a fair few beers in, and instead I'm on here, reading around and drinking juice.

Cherokeer and Done, I think we're around the same point, so maybe we could stick together a bit?

Today at work was super stressful and busy as hell, but I've gotten through the evening without giving in to the normal feelings of deserving a drink because of having a crap day (or, in fact, celebrating a good day, depending how I needed to justify it to myself), and I feel quite pleased.

M.E.