Newbies Nest

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Struggling to sleep, so I thought I'd read around on here. Sandstone, that post was excellent, thanks for bringing it to our attention.
I worked out that I spend about ?230 a month on drinking, and that's not including any money I spend in pubs etc. That's just at home drinking. And it also doesn't include all the rubbish take aways or drunken ebay purchases.
It's no wonder I've never got any money. But yet I always found the money to buy alcohol.
Next payday I may actually be able to treat myself. Hopefully that thought will keep me honest.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Goodmorning Nesters! Welcome Cheroker, Done, and Minderaser
In the midst of my 10 day visit. Still am al free and feel good about that but feeling sad, blah and still ashamed about the rest! Love my company but thay are my husbands family and they get on my nerves but don?t feel like I am entilted my own feelings, still really don?t like myself can?t forgive myself. I think I feel like I am not entilted to enjoy or have a nice time.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Goodmorning Nesters! Welcome Cheroker, Done, and Minderaser
In the midst of my 10 day visit. Still am al free and feel good about that but feeling sad, blah and still ashamed about the rest! Love my company but thay are my husbands family and they get on my nerves but don?t feel like I am entilted my own feelings, still really don?t like myself can?t forgive myself. I think I feel like I am not entilted to enjoy or have a nice time.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Goodmorning Nesters! Welcome Cheroker, Done, and Minderaser
In the midst of my 10 day visit. Still am al free and feel good about that but feeling sad, blah and still ashamed about the rest! Love my company but thay are my husbands family and they get on my nerves but don?t feel like I am entilted my own feelings, still really don?t like myself can?t forgive myself. I think I feel like I am not entilted to enjoy or have a nice time.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

well...I am a shmuck. Totally and completely.

While I think I can combat AL physically...not sure I can mentally. My acid reflux got so bad the last two days I only had a few drinks, (yep drank thru that shit..and let me tell u...acid reflux means NO place for AL). Brutal. I didn't drink enough to get drunk, but I drank enough to cause more damage to my esophagus. WTF am I doing?????? Course, thankfully, dr's office called in more acid reflux meds...but crap!!!

Am I truly sooo stupid- with all my health problems why in the world do I keep doing this to myself?!

Yes, it's only 4 drinks, but for goodness sakes...4 drinks does "nothing" for me! WTH do I get out of that over 9 hours?

NOTHING

I looked back at my 'plan' and realized I did a good job on physical stuff, but never planned for the 'stressful' stuff. And..believe me...I'm stressed right now. Which to me is sooo stupid cause so many have problems that I don't have, and I feel guilty even feeling stressed.

I am angry. I have been here for 3 months and 1 day AF...that's it. That's pretty shameful in my opinion. Yes, I drink less and less, but I'm certainly not in the 'place' that most of you are.

One thing is for sure, I'm not a help to anyone on here...except saying hello or good job. I suppose the only reason I should post is to say I'm backing all of you...in everyway imaginable.


WOW...never thought in my life this would be so difficult. Three months on here..and one friggin day AF. AND I have all u wonderful people here? God- I'm a dumbass.

I'm not here to be a cheerleader- I'm here to get help- DAMNIT -and all I have done here is be a cheerleader.

I guess I have alot more planning and reading to do to get thru this. Thanks to you guys for listening to my rant.

Love,

Sarah

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Sarah
We?re here. We?re listening! I too like you, don?t have any answers. I guess we just have to get back on that horse when we fall down. Just say to yourself today no matter what I will not drink! Tomorrow try to do the same thing. I find breathing deep helpful in so many ways, I only have 19 days in to this thing but the more days I have invested the more days I don?t want to lose. I am really trying to be worthy of my family and friends who love me, even drunk me. I guess they do love me, when and how can I love myself that?s what I am searching for. who and what do I want to be and will it ever be good enough. What do you want to be? Where are you going? Where do you want to go? Come on, let us help you up, here is a hug! (I think we both need one.) I?m here, here is my hand, please take it... You can do it, you can! You?re not alone. Even if you don?t think your worth it, we do! Hugs and tons of well wishes.... Booze:l

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hello all... I'm definitely not a Newbie, but I haven't been here for a while. And of course, the day that I decide to come back and check in, the website did not work (I've been trying since 8am and it's now 12pm here in Germany).

I want to write more, but for now I think I need to read. So thankful that this place exists and I'm so happy to see the familiar "faces" and new faces.

Much love and strength to you all today.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

TGIF to all!

Welcome back MS - hope you can write more later

Sarah, self-forgiveness is difficult but has to be a necessary part of everyone's plan. I know I depended a lot on the Hypno CDs to change my thinking. I used them daily for a year or more. I also got a lot of help (and still do) from guided meditations found everywhere on line. You are putting your physical self at big risk by continuing to drink. Please consider using the CDs, meditation or perhaps some counseling - you won't be sorry

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!

Lav

[available]

Newbies Nest

Sarah the only way to give up drinking is to make it your number one priority. Get rid of the excuses, the tapering is obviously not working. We all get stressed and we all learn to cope without al, that is if we are serious about giving up drinking and living a life we deserve. You would be very suprised that the ailments you suffer from will disappear without al in your life. I now dont have anxiety, depression all due to giving up al.

We have not achieved success by waffling on about giving up, we totally put in a dedicated effort and with pure grit and determination we have succeeded. Some are still trying but their af days are wracking up. Giving up al requires 100% dedication. The Mwoers with days up all started at day 1 and it was not easy, we did not end up smelling the flowers and enjoying life when we stopped, we went through withdrawals, we went through no sleep, the shakes, the al voice enticing us to have just 1 drink, we went through exactly the same as the newbies now but we were determined to not fail and give it every single ounce of pure grit and determination that we could dig out of our souls to get to where we are today. We made a choice and we stuck to it through all that life threw at us and keeps throwing at us.

I could have talked about stopping drinking until the cows came home, and i did but at the end of the day no one was going to put in the hard work except for me. I didnt hit a rock bottom but i knew it was destroying my life slowly but surely.

Today i am nearly 6 months sober and it was worth every single damn day of what i went through at the beginning to be where i am now. Now i feel i am in control of my life and al is not and never will be again, if i have anything to do with it. The thing is i have everything to do with the choice i have made.

Mein hello and welcome back, stick close to the nest.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. Where is the toolbox located? I'm off to work hoping for a quick non-eventful work day. I'll check in this evening.

[done with it]

Newbies Nest

So I guess I have or must sat why I have come to this point, my brother past and because of that my sister and youngest brother are at odds, I have a wonderful man in my life that I do not want to lose. I need and must stop, I read once "I can stop, it is the starting that I cannot stop"
I have tried here before and everyone was supportive, but I stepped away, please tell me how to do it, to make it stay

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all. A dreary but vividly green spring day here, lots of moisture! Hope everyone is doing well.

Sarah
I too have had bad acid reflux in the past. There are two things I know about this lovely condition.
1) prescription may be a Proton Pump Inhibitors. When you try to come off these, your stomach goes whackie and produces MORE acid than ever. You have to wean yourself off these thing by using a strong over the counter antacid and taking care of yourself.
2) The end result of not addressing your acid reflux is stomach or esophageal cancer.

I agree with Lav, you need to let go of your self loathing and begin healing internally. Hope your day goes better and begins by being AF committed for at least the day!

Mein S
haven't seen your avatar in awhile. Hope you are well.
Sam

[done with it]

Newbies Nest

they are at odds with me, not only did I lose my brother I lost a sister and a brother, she would go to see him and never ask me, I would here later that they were all together, when I asked why I was not included all I got was you expect every one to bow to you, this was our dying brother, why would we not stick together, it has been almost 7 months since his passing. We were 11 months apart, he protected me from the boys at school, no understand the loss I took

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1666235 wrote: Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. Where is the toolbox located? I'm off to work hoping for a quick non-eventful work day. I'll check in this evening.

hey Cherokeer,
hope your day goes well. Toolbox:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

I was too depressed last night to post. Week from hell with separated husband's depression, which has thrown me back into one. Yes, I'm co-dependent, and have a need to save. My boundaries are porous, but I'm learning. I did set some limits with him, and hope that doesn't send him farther down a hole. He's responsible for himself, but his telling me he sat on the bed with a gun is an image I can't get out of my head. Any advice from those who have been through this?


Still not drinking--yahoo. I don't drink when I'm depressed. Lucky in that regard, I suppose. Tomorrow would have been 2 weeks AF but for one blip. That's okay, it's a major accomplishment, in my eyes.

Sarah, I'm with you. Right now, I'm here for me, and will offer specific encouragement when I have the energy. We need to focus on us, and help others when we can.

I'm taking today off to do some things for me. I need to get my head in a positive place.

Love to those struggling, and those succeeding.......