Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

This is day 2, not bad. I came home and relaxed for a bit and started reading Allen Carr's book. A good read. Sensible and to the point. I made dinner and have been relaxing. This is the first peaceful and relaxing evening I have had in awhile. I have been re-evaluating and drinking a ton of water. Here's to waking up tomorrow not feeling like hell.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good on you chero for day 2, it gets better and better and we know how hard the first week is. be very kind to yourself and post on here. i watched a tonne of al doco's on youtube and al movies, all the while thinking i was not "that" bad. Oh yes i was that bad but luckily i still have a functioning liver! Be very very kind to yourself, you can do this and the rewards are amazing.

Lav, hard and tough love are what i needed to get me to where i am today, now you are much gentler towards me and i appreciate every word that you gave me then and you give me now.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer
good, so glad you're feeling better and it gets better too!!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Guys, I'm looking forward to feeling better. I am sure I will lose weight too. Its kind of amazing how just a couple of days and I already feel better. I'm planning my coping strategies for when friends want to go out or family wants to barbecue. Those activities always include alcohol. I'm going to avoid them as long as possible.

[available]

Newbies Nest

You feel better now so keep that feeling. Ignore the al beast that will try and get you to drink, he sneaks in when we dont expect him. I made every excuse known to mankind to avoid al functions when i stopped and now when i feel as if i cant cope, i dont go. My quit is my number one priority and i will not give it up for anyone.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Ava, you're a geg! I can just picture a cartoon scene, me reachin for the bottle and you with the bag of coloured bricks and Byrdie, bottle in hand, ready to smack me one! Mmmmmm........wonder would that be a good one for the Toolbox??!! Haha
Heading away in the morning to see my lovely son....he has bought his first house and him and the girlfriend moved in last week. Bought him some plants and garden ornaments - he enjoys that. Then tomorrow evening, heading out to Strictly Come Dancing......a lot of my girls' friends are taking part and this is the final........i am driving and really not bothered.....I know it will be fun!
Ava, the rehearsal is on Sunday so should get a pic then.....putting it on here will be the tricky bit!
So excited for you for June 1st!
Pav, I hope you treated yourself to celebrate!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

:goodjob::wd::applaud::clapclap::yougo: Congrats Pav!!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Pav, congrats on your major achievement
Doesn't it feel great to know that you've accomplished so much? And you are helping so many others on their way too!

Ava, I used to 'threaten' folks with a visit from 'Stella' to keep them from misbehaving. Believe me - you don't want to open your door to the likes of that crazy chicken :H

Daisy, to post pictures here it's easiest to open a free Photobucket account, store your pictures there then just copy & paste the IMG code here. I'd love to see your artwork

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations, Pav, for that amazing accomplishment -- 6 months is amazing. Way to go!

Thanks to many who posted re: making it through really crappy work drama AF. Unfortunately, it sounds like several others had really challenging days this week as well...I'm sorry for that, but 3 cheers for getting through sober and AF, right?

Juja;1666248 wrote: I was too depressed last night to post. Week from hell with separated husband's depression, which has thrown me back into one. Yes, I'm co-dependent, and have a need to save. My boundaries are porous, but I'm learning. I did set some limits with him, and hope that doesn't send him farther down a hole. He's responsible for himself, but his telling me he sat on the bed with a gun is an image I can't get out of my head. Any advice from those who have been through this?
Juja --- I agree totally with Jane:

jane27;1666304 wrote: Juja -- I may need to back read a little to get a better sense for the story of whats going on with your hubs, but sharing that information with you is many things, and one of them is manipulative. What are you supposed to do with that information? Is it a cry for help? Does he want you to feel sorry for him? Where'd he get the gun? Might he use it on you?

I think the situation would best be handled by a professional. You shouldn't have that image haunting you. If he meant it, he needs serious help. If he didn't he's using the threat of killing himself to get a reaction from you. :l

In my job, I work closely with victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. The #1 common denominator among abusive ex-partners OR ex-partners who eventually become violent is threatening to self-harm as a means of manipulating the other person into coming back. His use of emotional blackmail to control you (and even if he just gets you to return his phone-call by threatening self-harm, that's enough control so that he'll think these tactics might work) is a HUGE red flag, Juja, and you should not try to handle that yourself. It's also important that this behavior on his part be documented. I strongly urge you to get professional help to support yourself as you go through this difficult time, because you are being emotionally blackmailed and what he's doing is a form of violence even if he doesn't become physically violent with himself, others or you. Please get some help! There are usually at least a few agencies in even small communities that can offer people in your situation good advice and support. If you need help with referrals, I'd be happy to point you in the right direction if you want to message me.

I'll be thinking of you - you're doing great and will get through this! :l

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Well here we go again with a new Day 1 .

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1666505 wrote:

Juja --- I agree totally with Jane:

In my job, I work closely with victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. The #1 common denominator among abusive ex-partners OR ex-partners who eventually become violent is threatening to self-harm as a means of manipulating the other person into coming back. His use of emotional blackmail to control you (and even if he just gets you to return his phone-call by threatening self-harm, that's enough control so that he'll think these tactics might work) is a HUGE red flag, Juja, and you should not try to handle that yourself. It's also important that this behavior on his part be documented. I strongly urge you to get professional help to support yourself as you go through this difficult time, because you are being emotionally blackmailed and what he's doing is a form of violence even if he doesn't become physically violent with himself, others or you. Please get some help!
:l

You're both absolutely right. I know he's manipulating me--he's good at that. I thought about calling my therapist today, but didn't. I not thinking clearly. I will call her tomorrow for an appt because I will need help getting through this.

I drank tonight. I didn't really want to, said all the mantras, knew I should come here before leaving the house for wine, should call a special someone, but didn't. WTH? Again, not thinking clearly. Tomorrow will be lovely, won't it?

I will not drink. I will succeed. I can do this.

Thank you all so much.:h

[available]

Newbies Nest

You will get to where you want to be Juj, ring your therapist and talk to her and keep coming on mwo, dont run away now. We are here for you. You are being honest and accountable, they are sure signs of a woman determined to get rid of al. You are achieving af days which you did not have and tomorrow is another day. Please post on here before going to get al, i realise that is easier said than done as if we have it in our head that we want al, nothing or nobody will stop us, we will not see reason but you will get over that by being here.

hugs to you xx

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

My morning gratitude moments are usually private, but not today.

Today, I am grateful to peppersnow and Jane who pointed out the necessity of my seeing a therapist. I am confused and lost, and they pointed me in the right direction.

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I stuck to the plan, went home, got a take out and watched documentaries with an old friend with loads of coca Cola. Feel very positive this morning as a result.

Juja, hope you get things sorted, the advice on here seems sound.

Cherokeer, let's keep on going!

Bran, welcome.

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I stuck to the plan, went home, got a take out and watched documentaries with an old friend with loads of coca Cola. Feel very positive this morning as a result.

Juja, hope you get things sorted, the advice on here seems sound.

Cherokeer, let's keep on going!

Bran, welcome.