Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, congratulations on 100 days! You are just great! Your stories and photos and step-by-step of how much better your life is getting are such an inspiration! On days when I feel 'feck this, what's the point?', just one of your posts can make me think again.......you are showing us why sobriety is the way to go! I know I'm a bit late but just had to let you know you rock!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Dila,
Did that just come out of nowhere? It sounds as though it did, and I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say. I see you live in Florida, so you can text or call if you ever needed an ear. Please let us know how we can help you.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Dil, that is a real slap in the face to you. What if he does not get the contract does he stay or does he just leave anyways, do you stay and try to work it out or do you walk away? I would like you to slap him into next week but thats not possible, when you have a knife in your heart. I am so sorry to hear Dil and if you need an ear please rant away. Be strong and stay af if you can, thats one big mighty stressful situation that has been thrown at you in your early quit but being hungover wont help, you know that. (i could say it would not hurt either but i cant say that) oops and lol. Be strong and take care.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, I told my daughter and son-in-law after church today that I no longer drink and my wine glasses are gone. They looked stunned. I told my sister today too. It felt good to let those around me know I don't drink. So do not invite me over to drink. It's not going to happen.

I want to set my environment up for success and create an expectation that "Cherokee" doesn't drink. We are avid kayakers and there is always lots of drinking along with it. That is going to be my first challenge. Relearning to kayak without drinking while everyone else around me is. I think I am going to concentrate on the big fat dumb ass I end up making of myself and let someone else wear that title. I'm retiring.

If I missed anyone who posted I'll read back a few pages tomorrow. It's late and 5:30 comes early. Sweet dreams friends.

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Dila to repeat what others have already said we are here for you. Does sound like he has already made up his mind. You deserve better.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Just dropping in quickly to wish everyone a safe night in the nest - past bedtime here.

Dila, I am so sorry you are being railroaded like this! No one deserves treatment like that especially after a 25 year marriage. From here it looks like another case of supreme selfishness, real ego-centered behavior on his part. Please look after yourself. Put yourself & your priorities first. We are all thinking of you.

Congrats everyone for sticking with your plans, the payoffs are well worth it, don't you think?
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1667056 wrote: Wow, a busy place, and it's all good!
Cherokeer....I am speechless. I don't want to sound like a nut-job, but I also believe in ghosts....seeing is believing. My grandmother's house was a who's who of haints. Doors opening and closing...hearing people running and laughing on the stairs and going in to see there was no one there. Things falling off shelves..... I wouldn't spend a night in that house for all the tea in China! I'm skeert!!! Hats off to you for being at the same address as these other goblins. :goodtime:

MindEraser.....this is strictly from an semi-objective point of view, but I'm in sales and when I have a customer who raises an objection, one technique to overcome it is to reduce it to the ridiculous. In the case of your stag party, let's take a look at it. You found, joined and are participating in a forum for AL abuse. You HAVE a problem with AL and if I might be so bold, if you are like the rest of us, you are an Alcoholic. Right now, you have a wonderful quit going. The emphasis at this party is drinking....the more, the better. So given the CHOICE, which you REALLY DO have, do you protect YOUR quit (and potentially, your life) or do you participate in a party where peer pressure will likely cause you cave? This is like Jane doing her 12 day Extreme Detox and going to an all you can eat buffet at the Cheesecake Factory! Why would you put yourself thru this torture? The two appear to be mutually exclusive. Not going IS an option. If getting sober is your #1 priority, missing this party will be secondary. I have seen countless nesters go to parties and various things over the years and we are NOT Mother Theresa, if pressured enough in a new quit, we will likely cave in. If all else fails, get a buddy to go with you that will keep you honest, is that possible? Or just pop in for 20 minutes. Losing your quit may not seem like such a big deal when you are there and the "Feckits" kick in, but just try getting it back! It's not as easy as it sounds. Many NEVER get it back. Keeping your quit momentum going is so important! Protect your delicate quit....whatever it takes! That's my 2 cents. Drunk fests come and go, but your quit may go and never come back!!

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday (or Monday). Live it large!!! Every single day is precious!! XXOO, Byrdie

Byrdie, you know the old question and answer: "do you believe in ghosts? No, but I'm scared of them all the same!"

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Its Day 1 for me.... I mean after completing 100 days. And as I thought about how would it feel like posting Day 1 in roll call ... And more importantly how would I feel if I replapse. Dont get me wrong these is no struggle within me right now. There is no one saying that I should drink but thinking ow I would feel bad to reset my roll call is a solid re enforcement to stay sober on this Monday morning.

Paviti, I so much enjoying imagining the hike you had. And I can understand the struggle with acceptance. For me I have not been telling myself why I did not manage AL. Why I have a disease, why ... In fact with so much reading I am more than convinces AL is the biggest illusion sold to humans in the history. The illusion of it being able to help in time of despair, enjoy, participate in conversation, to be open and free ... Its serves nothing absolutely nothing. When I see a person sitting at bar enjoying his drink I see 4 possibilities for him :

1. he will keep drinking and reach his lowest point but do nothing and spoil his life.
2. He will keep drinking and reach his lowest point and do something but fail to stop
3. He will keep drinking and reach his lowest point and do something but will stop
4. He will keep drinking and will not realize he has a problem but will not see lowest point ever.

So I were him how would I want the outcome to be. I woukd want him to be free. But then what is the root cause .. Its AL. So once again why drink it.

We dont need anyone to tell us that AL does not help. So when you talk about accepting ________ and alcohol. Let me refer that ________ as challenge. It maybe problem like marriage, upcoming even like a party, wedding. It would be medical problems etc. no matter what challenge live gives us it is important to know that AL does not help. Al is a drug which serves no purpose in any of these situations. Accept that or changing our attitude how we see AL has been the key for me.

Daisy, I am glad my posts helped you, I want simply posting and sharing as it helps to vent out for me as we'll. Sharing I have realized has been so important for me in recovery.

Choreeker, Good you have declared others that u dont rink anymore. Let them be shocked and let u be amused by their reactions. Be proud, grateful, that u are one of the lucky ones who saw how everyone society, TV, media situations and also AL fooled us so long but not anymore. You are free ... Enjoy it, relish it as fresh morning air, be grateful to God, or luck, or destiny or anyone who believe and of course be grateful to MWO too ... Celebrate today be proud while telling others

"I dont drink !" Yipeeeee ... see how lucky I am ... Free... I saw the illusion but overcame it for good ...

And not this way

"I can't drink !" I have a problem, I am alcoholic, I have a disease, I can't handle it.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, All:

You are so right, Rahul - what a great way of thinking about it. I am a work in progress, but I know I'll come around. I have to learn to forgive myself and love myself as I would a friend or my kids, and not BE the mistakes I have made.

Dila - Stay strong - what a blow that sounds like. Feel free to vent away here - and I hear Ava has some spouse-head-sized bricks she sends to those in need...

Cherokeer - I think telling people in person helps a lot.

I would love to answer you all, but have to hit the hay.

Happy first week of June,
Pav

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Dila;1667012 wrote: NS - Thanks for kicking Sarah's butt but it could have been directed to me. You are so right.

Sarah - let's make today Day 1 for both of us and let's do this together. As much as I am hurting right now, drinking is not helping. We will be right behind ME.

DD - my neighbor went through the same surgery last year. She was so positive throughout the whole chemo phase and when it was time for surgery she would joke when we spoke that she was looking to have a new set that sits where they should. Best of luck. I know you will do great.

FF - Are you still out there? Hope you are still doing well. Miss you!

Day - 1

Lets' do IT! I'm with you and heck we got NS, AVA, Byrdie, Jane and so many others...let's give it a try!

Funny, but I'm actually excited about this!

Let's make a pack we try to post every night...good or bad..on our progress.

How's that sound?

Love,

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1667033 wrote: Sarah,

I'm relieved you took what I wrote in the way I meant it. The fact that you've stayed here despite limited success so far makes me think that you truly do want to kick this beast out of your life so I guess, as Dila said, I kicked your butt. I'd rather give you a hand, though, so please let me know if there is any way I could help you.

NS

I don't think there is any way I can THANK you for it. LOVE you for it as well. I think I reread my post and yours 50 times over the last few hours.

Thank you Sugar!

With all my love,

Sarah

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Day 5.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Rahul
A very joyful congratulations to you. I know it has been a heck of a fight in the beginning, yet you kept coming back. Very inspirational!!

Cherokeer
you're doing the do!!

Sam

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Glad to see you both hopping on board Sarah & Dila
Cherokeer, day 5 - great!!!

Wishing everyone a productive AF Monday!!!

Lav

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Sam and. Lav. My husband last night told me how proud he is of me. He said "your different this time. When you said your done this time there was a finality to your voice." There truly was. Today is a Monday or what I like to refer to as hell day. So here is to handling work stress in a different way.