Newbies Nest

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Congrats D on making it through and congrats Wags on 32!

Sarah, glad you dumped the glass and I know what you mean about about the mindlessness. Like eating in front of the TV we just don't think about what's going in our mouth. That post from FB is so true. We have an image in our mind of who we are whether we know it or not and it is towards that image that we move our life and choose what to be aware of each and every day. It is also when our words and actions are out of sync with that image that, whether the image is healthy or not, we cannot help but be in pain.

Juja, when you can't sit still you can always try a walking meditation. (Walking meditation -- how to do a walking meditation. | Meditation Oasis) Lav is right about it changing how you think and feel, getting into your subconscious. Every time we take a moment to correct our focus it becomes easier, it happens more naturally and quickly as well as staying there longer. As for the loud co-worker - you can always make an excuse to step away for a minute, use the meditation techniques or think of wack-a-mole.

After being off book for the past few weeks I've been getting back on track. That includes sleep. After all the abuse we've done to ourselves the body needs to heal and it can't do that properly while we're walking around in our skin so it's a good idea to get some extra and tone down anything that would put extra strain for a while. (e.g. lighten but not stop the exercise. We need those endorphins too!) It takes a good two weeks to get back on schedule and I know for me it also means the next few days less than refreshing sleep. But since I know my body is just healing it's all okay.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

MAE All,

Dnemo, I think going to bed was the best idea, even if you didn't sleep. Sometimes I like to just hop in bed for the comfort and safety. Good luck in your treatment.

NoMoreJim, the Hog Roast sounds delicious! And congrats on 150!!!!!!! Fantastic!

Frances, hope your allergies get better. I'd take allergies over a hangover though, any day.

Sanguine, welcome. I agree with the many that said just quit. Just stop now. The sooner you do it, the better you'll feel. Yes, it takes quite a bit of work going through all the mental and emotional additive stuff, but I know it'll be worth it. And I know we all had that same worry - all of our friends drink. Well, that's true, because all of our friends aren't alkies like we are. But our friends will still love us, and we'll get to learn how to go to dinner with our dear friends and learn to enjoy ourselves. Best thing is we'll get to remember the night with our friends. Good luck to you and your new life and glad you're in the nest with us.


DD, prayers for you and hugs...:l:lilangel:

Cherokeer, So great on no temptation. But don't be surprised if you do get tempted. It's just a thought, and thoughts come and go. Just like I thought it would be nice if I were laying on the beach, then I realized, hmmm...I can't do that as I live 8 hours away. Next thought! Yes, proud to be a "retired big fat dumbass!"

Dila, posting everyday is the best thing you can do. You're getting your feelings out, and people are here to support you. And to boot...it's free! WTH! It's a no-brainer! Yep, it's time to focus on you, but try not to put too much on your plate. Be gentle with yourself, and if getting in shape is something you love to do, then go for it. If it stresses you out to get a workout in, then bag it for now. I know I get stressed out, but soon will have more time on my hands, so I'll be ready. It's probably better to feel that anger and hurt now, instead of numbing them with alcohol. Then you're actually dealing with those emotions and not pushing them aside and letting them build and get bigger. That can happen if we drink to numb. Makes us so much weaker and we don't even realize we're doing it to ourselves. Strength to you.

Startingover@48, welcome to you! I started over at that age, too, and glad I did!

Wagmore, welcome and congrats on 32 days! Awesome.

Juju, don't let DH's neediness undo anything you do from now on. Sometimes we have to be selfish, and in this case. it's all about you and taking care of yourself. Give yourself the gift of sobriety today, and how about this, too...:bath2:

Sarah, I hope you will allow yourself to be aware of what you're doing. It takes courage to not pick up a drink, and each of us has that in us. We were all blessed with that gift. Try it tonight. Don't pick up that drink. Or make sure whatever you pick up doesn't have alcohol in it. You need to try it so that you can become confident that you can do this just for today.

Well, three more days of school. Seems crazy to think it's almost over, but it has been probably the best year of my career. I blame all the good on the absence of alcohol in my life. All newbies that joined MWO, follow the long-timers here. Do what they do. Post lots. Read lots. You have a new, beautiful life waiting for you. All you have to do is one thing. DON"T DRINK! :h:h

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Hey starfish, being worried is understandable. All of my friends drink too, but ive been avoiding putting myself in a drinking situation so far. Tell them you're not feeling well or whatever. A little lie now will save you being in a situation with alcohol where you don't feel ready to deal with it. Or else meet them on your terms. I had a buddy round to mine yesterday, where I know there's no al rather than meeting in the pub like we normally would have done.
Protect yourself as best you can in the early days.
Good on you for taking the first step!!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

J vo, I am already preparing for the temptation. My husband and I already talked about this year's 4th of July party. I'm skipping it. The main event is drinking. It's a huge family event that this year I will be picking the hubs up from when he is done. I'm not going to be around a hundred people trying to get me to drink with them. I'm trying so hard to st myself up for success. This is new territory for me so I'm sure I will keep encountering different situations. I just pray for strength.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Sarah42;1667738 wrote: well...I wasn't totally abstinent last night. (sorry Dila), but I DID do something I've never done before...I poured out a glass of wine in the sink and didn't touch another drop. It's weird- I had like 2 drinks w/o even realizing what I was doing b/c I was so stressed (and just busy). It's like there was no thought behind it at all. Then when I realized what I was doing ...I thought "crap! I'm not doing this tonight!". So I threw it out and fixed me a big ole' sammy!

After talking to a friend, hubby, and dealing with everyday stuff..I sat down and reflected on those 2 drinks I had.
It's apparent to me that grabbing a drink has become so much of a habit....it's not even a thought process. I was so consumed in my own 'thinking' atm I didn't even give the AL a 'place'. (for lack of a better term)

I was on the phone..yada yada yada...

Once I had a moment of peace...is when I threw it out. I gotta find a way to break the cycle. It also showed me I'm way worse off than I thought I was.

Love,

Sarah

Sarah procrastinating does not stop us drinking. Not drinking and continuing not drinking stops us drinking. Like smoking "oh i only had two smokes and put the other one out". To me that means i am still smoking and i can "reflect" on what i did but i still did it.

How big are your wine glasses? Those two drinks could actually be 4 or more by government standards. I know my wine glass was nothing like the recommended one.

Ultimately it is our choice to stop drinking and you cant make that choice. You can talk about it till the cows come home (3+ months now) but until you are serious it is not going to happen. As lav says, get rid of the al out of your house is a start. Tipping out wine is great but why have it in the house if you are not going to drink and you will only buy another bottle to tip out if you dont get serious.

Is today another excuse for drinking or is it going to be a serious effort? Are you reading what you put in your notebook? A lot of people have put in an amazing effort to help you Sarah, maybe its time to prove to them that you can actually stop drinking and stop procrastinating.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Living without AL has been great. Small things u tend to notice and realise and then it hits u ... Wow !

Take water for example. I used to so appreciate water ... I mean I was so thirsty all the time. I remember I used to carry 5 to 6 bottles of beers and 3 liter bottle of water. One bottle gulp down when infused to wake up middle of night with ultra dry throat. Another in morning. Now I sleep well with just one glass of water. It's good not to long for water so much ... But old habits die hard. Lately while checking into hotels I haven been ordering extra bottles of water at night just in case and it turns out I end up wasting all of them ... If I think deeper I was starving my body of water ...

Then my love affair with cholesterol lowering and liver medicines. I used to have stock these 2 every morning sometimes in afternoon. All so that my vitals remain in control and I could drink heavily ... Wow so concerned was about my health. Take medicine drink poison, harm your body. Take Medicine, drink poison ... And cycle goes on ... Now being sober .... No need for both ... No poison no medicines ...

Money ... Y to go to expensive hotels ? Booze is expensive ... Stay cheap drink more ... Make more efficient use of money .... NOW ... Now matter where I stay how much lavishly I spead on food it's no match for amount I was spending earlier by staying cheap .... Stay sober, live lavish live and save too ..

My daily thoughts ... Morning ... Hungover .... Maybe I should not drink that much, I should stop, this is not to way life, what am I doing to myself, I am killing myself, I hate alcohol. Afternoon ... Wow busy day , stress, so much work, travel. I need a drink where should I drink today ... Evening ... Drink drink drink....
NOW ... Morning ... Oh I slept too much, feel so,fresh ... Afternoon ... Need to work more. ..l can work more ... Evenings ... Let's do something new ... Meet new,people. See movie ...

Stay sober guys ... These are small small rewards ... U will,love them ... Stay on course ...

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,
Thanks so much for the prayers and kind thoughts. Mini op and anaesthetic all seem to have gone well. Very grateful for being sober as am sure it makes me stronger!

Wagmore well done on 32, we are at the same stage as I am 34 today.
Sarah 42 Thanks for that facebook quote I think it is very true and also inspirational.
Cherokeer I think it is a good idea to skip that 4th July party, even if you managed to stay AF it might at this stage be a bit stressful.
DNEMO Huge well done on not drinking, think how you would have felt the next day!! (if you had drank)
Rahul, I so agree about the rewards of sobriety, also about the medications/herbs/vitamins necessary to combat the poison of alcohol, I agree they are not needed now. Also, on reflection, I think that is a way of trying to cheat nature and it does not work and no medication etc can clear the poison from the soul, that really sticks!

Oh it is so lovely to be free of it all. xxx

[Maria1967]

Newbies Nest

Hi All, I am still sober and AL Free now for ten days. I got through the weekend and it was a bank holiday here. I actually went out on Sunday evening to a festival where lots and lots of people were drinking, I drank water and danced all night. I've been keeping myself extremely busy, I am still suffering from a bit of anxiety. The bottle of wine is still in the kitchen, I looked at it tonight and was tempted. I am giving the bottle away tomorrow.

Hope to come here tomorrow evening.

Maria

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Big congrats Maria, glad to hear you are getting rid of that bottle, sounds like you are loving your AF time. I don't know about you but now when I see problem drinkers/alcoholics I feel "Thank God I no longer am putting myself through all of that". It all seems so awful .....such a deadening of the spirit, for me alcohol really locked me into a darkness and despair where as now although I still get worried etc about certain things I find it so much easier to see and feel the hope in the world. Life seems more full of possibilities.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Maria is Ireland the same time as London? Just curious as I think many people on this forum are sleeping right now!

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

DD, glad everything went well today, and you're right, being sober can only make us stronger.
Maria, welcome, 10 days is excellent work!
I am just finishing my 7th day, but I've not ventured out anywhere where people were drinking lots yet, spent the last week like a hermit!

I am in the UK, so working on GMT as well, I've been trying to work out the time differences for everyone on here, but not managed to see the pattern yet. I guess I could just google it haha.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=Sarah42;1667738]well...I wasn't totally abstinent last night. (sorry Dila), but I DID do something I've never done before...I poured out a glass of wine in the sink and didn't touch another drop. It's weird- I had like 2 drinks w/o even realizing what I was doing b/c I was so stressed (and just busy). It's like there was no thought behind it at all. Then when I realized what I was doing ...I thought "crap! I'm not doing this tonight!". So I threw it out and fixed me a big ole' sammy!

Sarah,
I am here for you...when you are ready I will go back to Day 1...it helps so much when you have someone on the same day as you. Everyone here has something they are dealing with but you, j-vo and I are hurting in the same way. We can support each other.

I am so proud of you for pouring out that glass of wine...small steps are steps to being AF! I have started over many times.

There are so many newbies to mention - good luck to all.

FF- come back to me!

DD - in my prayers!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mindereaser! 7 days is fantastic!! Here's to kicking Al's arse for a week!!
:moon:
No doubt, these first days are the hardest and they are behind you! We are standing cheek to cheek with you on this!! Well done!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see you reporting in DD

Maria, I would definitely get rid of that bottle. Why leave it sitting there, staring at you??
Great on your 10 AF days!

Sarah, we're counting on you now to rid your house of temptation as well - it's for the best, you'll see

Minderaser, Congrats on 7 AF days - nice!

Congrats everyone for getting yet another AF day under your belt. It's something you'll never regret!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

DD, I'm so glad things went well. So glad. Keep us up-to-date, please

ME and Maria, congrats on the days. I bet you're both feeling good.

Rahul, another good post. Thanks for the positive reminders of why to let go of AL.

Sarah,Dila, we'll get through this. Everybody's got something to deal with.

It's good to go to bed tonight without a buzz. I'm hoping for a good night's sleep, and less depression in the a.m. No calls from my SO, and that is a relief. I dreaded coming home a finding a message. I want some breathing space, will have to tell him, and deal with the fallout.

I got a break today--I wasn't scheduled to work with the loud talker! I was so relieved, and felt like I had been given a gift. We're up tomorrow and Thursday. Ohmmmm.