Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations NS!!! 500 is a huge number and accomplishment!

[Maria1967]

Newbies Nest

Hi All, well, I went to an AA meeting last night. I was a little nervous, I arrived just when the meeting was about to start and I left straight after. I didn't hang around for the cup of tea and chat afterwards. I am a bit of an oddball, I tend to either isolate myself or get too involved with other people.

I went to call on an old AA member with great sobriety today. I arrived at his house and his wife answered the door. Honestly, I did not know whether this man was dead or alive, the last time I'd spoken with him, he was trying to overcome cancer, I was nearly sure he was dead. I did not know what to say to his wife at the door, Hi is he in?, is he still alive?. She greeted me a little coldly and I apolgised for just turning up out of the blue. I asked about him and she said he was doing fine and asked if I would like to see him. I told him my story and he invited me to go to a meeting next Wednesday and next Friday with him. I trust this man

There are no 'Women Only' AA meetings in Ireland. There was talk about them when I was previously in the fellowship but most of the 'old timers' were totally against them. That said, I was pleasently surprised to see that the ratio of Male/Female at the meeting last night was aprox 50/50.

The Man I visited today advised me to take my time with people at meetings. One or two close members is enough for me, but easy does it.

I didn't tell my boyfriend that I went to an AA meeting last night and I'm not going to.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Sarah - don't stop coming here...I haven't even though I don't post everyday. I need to get my head on straight as well and figure out alot of things. I admire that you write your feelings down no matter what they are.

Sending you love and hugs!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar has 501 days???? Holy cow, girl, you are on fire!!!!!
nfire:
I am so proud of you and all your work here! You have been an amazing force around here since the very first day you flew in! Gosh, I cant beoieve it has been 501 days, you have done evrything right!!! Congratulations on this huge milestone. You are the woman!!! Xxxoo, Byrdie

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Hey NoSugar,

Your post makes so much sense like all of your posts do. Not drinking means so much more than a little will power. Understanding how our bodies metabolize sugar (which is known to be addictive and also main ingredient in alcohol) goes a long way in successfully beating this monster.

To those starting out -goal setting, exercise, diet, and changing our life patterns (who we associate with) are essential. I know it's too much to take in all at once but, like my favorite thread, take it one step at a time and there will be positive changes.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATULATIONS NS on 500 days!! That is simply FANTASTIC!

As to this talk of moderation I can only say that I have tried that a few times before, after an AF period (30 days, 45 days, 7 days, etc). Started out okay but then surely I was right back where I started. Coming back here to MWO because I was hungover again. Tired of drinking a bottle or more a night again.

I was talking with a friend who was AF for 5 years. She decided to drink again late last year. She is still drinking and she told me she is constantly thinking about AL. One thing about being AF is that after awhile, the AL thoughts really do start to go away and come few and far between. My friend told me that this has not been the case for her now that she's drinking again (nor was it for me when I tried). So- it's the deprivation thing Byrdie and Pav and Jvo and Wag and others talkeded about - you wind up constantly feeling deprived. My friend has been drinking alone at home, hiding it from her husband and kids. She has a few bottles of wine she bought at a wine festival...she plans to drink them and then only drink when she's out or on special occasions. I told her to let me know how that works out for her. I'm not trying to be negative or sarcastic - I just know how it worked for me...and that is, NOT AT ALL. I get the strong feeling she knows better too but is not ready to accept it yet.

But it is definitely up to each person to decide for themselves. I think many of us can relate to the desire to drink moderately. It's just the unfortunately reality for most of us that we can't. So for me, acceptance of that is key. Something I still struggle with and am still working on daily.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Wow the nest has been busy ... A bit like me last week. I have 2 weeks of travel and vacation (finally!!) coming thru. But first ...

Big congrats to nosugar for 500 days ... It's huge accomplishment and a how much u inspire we all newbies. Your wisdom has helps us all especially me in understanding what is addition. How brain acts to all addictive substances - alcohol, tobacco, drugs and even sugar. Understanding it from I was able to co relate and apply to make some wild correlations like my last posts about brain and the windmill and myself in a dungeon. Your presence and posts have been a real help. Keep it up ... And I am getting there in another 400 days ...

Petrel ... So cool to be able to complete 10 k run. You should be so proud of yourself. We started in this journey to be free together and look where you have come ... Wow ... Wish you all the best in marathon ... You are the proof and inspiration how important it is to set realistic and challenging goals during recovery and it is so great that you are achieving them.

Cherokeer , I can so relate to your feelings after completing the sober kayaking trip. Past 100 days I have been so so many similar situations - partying with friends, dinners with buddy's, customer dinners, travelling, conferences etc. and I have approached each of these situation with a feeling of gratitude. Seeing other drinking and me not drinking I approached it feeling lucky.... Lucky that I realised how trapped I was, and lucky how I dont need AL to enjoy the situation, lucky and grateful that I can do and enjoy what I want to really do, lucky and grateful that I don't have to explain to others or even myself why I am drinking let them say what ever, let them be shocked or even ENVY me for not drinking, for that even many of them I met too know deep down that that have a problem. And even if they don't I am so lucky to be FREE . There is a sense of pride, accomplishment, gratefulness in my tone when I announce I don't drink to a new comer or to even someone who knows me. And when someone asks me "y r u not drinking ?" I tell myself oh wow I definitely know why I am not drinking ... , Thank GOD I know ... But then I see the other person trapped unaware that he too might be heading where I have been. That give me feel feel so lucky and grateful. I am free ! I don't need drink to enjoy a company , dinner, nature, travel and more importantly even to gel with others ... Drinking AL it's their problem .... my being sober is not a problem but a proof that I am enlightened to the fact that :
Al is a drug like cocaine, meth, tobacco etc ..
Like any drug it alters your brain chemistry and is addictive
It is the society which makes us feel we as a problem but problem is AL ... Not us ..
Drinking AL is not good for anyone, in what ever quantities.
It's the biggest lie - it does not quenches thirst, it does not take away problems or worries.
List does on ...
Be proud you know this and you are doing something about it ...

DD you are doing so well, you hand in there're take care of health. Wish you all the best for the surgery.

Byrdie you are so right. Moderation is like to torture our brain with slow poison of AL. Drinking in moderation would be like putting small amounts of salt on a wound . The result will be always pain, misery, deprivation and the wound will never heal ...

Sarah Allan Carr is like a bible to me ... It taught me how I can be grateful accepting the sober life.

As for me I am going to Shanghai this week. I was there last year and had "fond" memories of me drinking beers and beer alone in my hotel. I plan of reason all these and am approaching this with lot of confidence and strength. I almost got mugged there thanks to booze ... Tomorrow I will be in Bombay that's the place where I first signed on MWO and started this journey and am so grateful I did that ... Would live to go to the same bar and order tea. ... and feel grateful and thank each and everyone of you...

Take care ...

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, I just wanted to add a note - please don't be discouraged - the posts you've seen in response to you posting about your frustrations are not meant to be negative (at least I don't think they are) - you are just not going to get many people who are going to tell you, yeah, you're right, now is not the time to stop, you are going through too much...Just keep drinking until you're ready. Many people with much experience know better. I don't think anyone will argue that you need to understand why you are drinking to really get over this problem. But you won't hear anyone say that you should keep drinking while you figure that out. As many have pointed out, getting a grip on that reality requires participating in reality...something that alcohol takes you away from.

I think it's great that you are doing so many things like coming here and reading the Allan Carr book - and you are right, we are here to support you. That is a wonderful thing and as Byrdie said you are a great contributor and definitely coming here is the right thing to do. Just don't be surprised when the words of advice usually center around taking alcohol out of your life.

We are just (ok...impatiently, yes) waiting for you to make that decision. It is one you will never regret!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1669595 wrote: NoSugar has 501 days????nfire:Thanks for the fire, Byrdie, and for all the kind words you guys have offered. She is too modest to admit it, but Byrdie is one of the solid logs forming the base of any AF fire going on around here, including mine. Thank you, Friend :l.

frances;1669604 wrote: ...she plans to drink them and then only drink when she's out or on special occasions...But it is definitely up to each person to decide for themselves.

It is each person's choice and there are Internet Harm Reduction sites where something like what your friend and Petrel might decide to do are considered successes. A close MWO friend of mine might end up doing that, too. And if it means you don't become obsessed with it between drinking events and aren't disappointed when one you're planning on doesn't come about (like an un-addicted person), I'd say I was amazed but glad for you to have things go your way. I tried your friend's approach at one point before I joined MWO with the result being that we started going out a lot and my definition of "special" hit an incredibly low bar .

I hope anyone who tries to moderate doesn't get fooled by AL again - and he is one clever and sneaky dude

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Congrat's on 500 days NS!

Good to see you Sarah. Glad you'll be sticking around.

Well done on the 10k run Petrel. Off for a run myself in a minute, and all the best with the marathon. I'm doing 'Run Melbourne' in july, the 10k.

With moderation, we can only find out ourselves. But each time we pick up a drink, it is dangerous, as we really can't know if we'll come back from that drinking session/sessions safely or even alive. Remember for us, judgment goes out the window after a drink or 2, and we could end up absolutely anywhere. Moderators be very careful and take care.

A crisp sunny winter monday morning here. Noice.

L8tr Yo!

[frances]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1669633 wrote: my definition of "special" hit an incredibly low bar .
NS - That happened to me too - everything became 'special' - having anything other than chicken tenders for dinner for example :H oh we're having a "nice" meal...that's special, right? A nice wine would go great with that! Oh my husband and I are having such a nice evening just hanging out talking...that's special, right? ANYTIME I'm going outside of my house to do something...that's special, right? It really was laughable!

NoSugar;1669633 wrote: ...and he is one clever and sneaky dude

And that is scary true. Truly frightful.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Byrd what a great post, i never tire of reading what you write as the truth never hurt anyone at the end of the day. I am 6 months sober due to the fact that i finally woke up and listened to what you posted.

Jvo so happy to see you out of your funk and enjoying life sober as it should be enjoyed. Letting MWO know and talking about your feelings is really all that we need in a way to realise that drinking will solve nothing and only give us a headache and a world of pain in trying to stop again and again.

Maria good on you for walking up and knocking on that mans door. That took determination and courage and a knowledge in you that you are single minded in getting off the merry go round of al. He is obviously a wise man for you to seek him out and also a comfort to you in your sobriety. Im glad he has offered his help. There are some beautiful people in this world, let us know how it goes.

DD so glad you had a lovely day and spent with neighbours and friends, we all need to reach out at some point. I know i never reached out when i was drinking so its all new to ask for help and actually want it and get it. My pets are my world and i think i appreciate them more now. There really are no positives in drinking.

Frances that is sad about your friend. We all have those "just a few" thoughts but in reality we know where they lead us. I had a chuckle about those "special" occasions for a drink. Every day is special when you are drinking, i led such a "special" life daily.

Mr G, a 10k run, wow, all MWO will be running in marathons soon but i will be the one holding the flag i am afraid. We all need cheerleaders to get us over the finish line. You are sounding great!.

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Hey wonderful nesters.

Thought I?de pop by and say hello. As every post of mine begins with ?It?s been a while??

No Sugar ? WOW. You are rocking it. Just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and this HUGE achievement. I wanted to thank you for your continuing support to us newbies and wonderful and very RATIONAL posts. I love your explanations by analogies, it truly speaks loud and clear to me so Thank you.

Sarah ? I feel your pain and I am proud of you as well. I know it?s hard and like you I think that MWO is a wonderful support system to share whatever your feelings are. I am not the pushy type and I know that you will quit once it truly sinks in. It will happen. I am proud of you for trying and for keeping coming back and posting.

Petrell ? So proud of you for completing the run. Hope you feel better soon. You had raised a topic that is constantly talked about here in the nest and on this web site. A topic to which Byrdie is very sensitive to and I can relate to her opinion. She had been here for a very long time so she had ?been there and done that? I think she also ?got the T-shirt??.
I sometimes think about moderation but it?s only for a moment and then I know it is not doable. I don?t like to call myself an alcoholic but I know that I am definitely weak when it comes to alcohol and have a problem with it (otherwise I will not be here). When I think about moderation I am imagining a drug addict saying ?I?ll only shoot up on weekends or special occasions? and then I know it?s not doable. Accepting the ?never drink again? is difficult and hard to grasp but that is sobriety. Not always fun, sometimes even boring but it is the real life. The reward of sobriety is getting to live as myself inside myself. Is waking up every morning remembering yesterday and ready to start on a new day as a whole person as opposed to a rack from over drinking the night before.
Eventually, the decision to drink in moderation is entirely up to you and I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make. I read a lot about it and it?s always the same. Starts okay and rolls down hill to over drinking and losing your soul again to alcohol. It really is only a matter of time. I have to agree with Byrdie on that ?Alcohol will always win?. :l

Wishing all you nesters a wonderful week and staying strong frame of mind. We all deserve happiness and full rights over our body and mind. AL is nowhere near that equation.
:h:h:h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Another busy day in the nest ~ nice

NS, a big CONGRATS to you on your 500 AF days :wd:

Luckyflower, I like your thought that we all deserve happiness & full rights over our body & mind!!! That's exactly what we get when we stay on this AF journey!

Hi G - good to see you

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters -- I'm just checking in. Have been in the remote wilderness of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area without internet or cell service for 4 days with family and need to catch up and read back. As for the woods, it was an awesome 4 day AF weekend and my first wilderness trip without booze - and although other normals were drinking normally I never missed it, not even once. This was my first BCWA summer trip waking up early, hang-over free and actually able to enjoy the sunrise over the lake. So one more summer hurdle crossed off my list.

I hope all is well with all!