Newbies Nest

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1670010 wrote: DD, sorry about the news but everything is going to be OK. Your reaction was perfectly normal.
Wonderful your friends & family are close by now. And we are all here thinking of you as well :l

Thanks, all the support really does help so much x

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1670004 wrote: Thanks to all for the support on here. Today I found out that I will have to have chemotherapy as well as a mastectomy (not all at once!!) I am devastated by this news, broke down and cried, literally wept in a way that I have not done so far. Also swore (at the situation, not at anyone!) ...... I feel that the cancer is sweeping me up... but there is still hope that it will not take hold in major organs and bones. Also I have got closer to my friends, family and neighbours since this diagnosis. The other miraculous thing was that when I heard this news I did not think of alcohol, in the past my default setting with any bad news was to either drink or to want to drink... but for over a month now I have been utterly free of all that and for that I am truly grateful! xxx

DD - So sorry to hear your latest news about needing chemo in addition to the mastectomy. On the positive side, it's great that you are getting closer to friends, family and neighbors through this ordeal. The fact that you didn't think of alcohol upon getting the chemo news is tremendous - you should feel very proud of yourself that you've changed your thought patterns so much in the past 6 weeks or so. This is a huge positive. Chemo will be hard enough on your body - the last thing you want to do is add alcohol to the mix as something else your system must process. In fact, having several weeks AF under your belt before chemo has likely strengthened you mentally and physically.

Hugs to you, and will be thinking of you during your upcoming surgery... :l

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

Birdie, J-Von Minderaser, Juja, Wagmore and NoSugar (on another thread) thank you so much for your responses. I really hesitated about posting here, and now I have no idea why. Juja, I took my cue you when you came back and said you were going to stay put in the Newbie's Nest.

It gives me so much hope that those of you who have pulled of what seems like a miracle to me, staying sober, say you were once in the same situation situation I'm in. That's exciting! I can't wait to join you.

Tonight is easy. I don't take that lightly because most nights it's not, so I'm sure I'll be around a lot

DD, I am so sorry you are dealing with cancer. Life's not fair. Keep your chin up and just get through each day for a while. There's no right way to do it. It will get better!

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD sorry to hear that you have to have chemo also but better to get all of the bastard out of your system and better to be safe than sorry. The up side is that you have so much support and help, take it, dont ever feel you are a burden on anyone, you deserve to be looked after so you can heal. Sending you hugs for the 11th DD and please try and let us know how it all went. You are such a brave soul.

Kailey, i have seen you around the boards and glad you jumped into the newbies nest. My life was slowly becoming a living hell, i did not it rock bottom but it was starting to feel like hell everyday. Days off work, avoiding family, keeping to myself and just planning and waiting for my next drink. The constant blackouts and getting drunk quicker than usual were a big factor in me finally realising i had to act on being an alcoholic and becoming sober.

We find MWO for a reason, we all drink too much and we cant control our consumption. People can say they "dont have much of a problem", i know if i didnt have much of a problem i would not be on MWO. Coming on here means we have a BIG problem with controlling al and pouring it down our throats. It means that we are getting to a place that we dont want to be at. When i first found MWO i read and read and actually thought to myself that "i dont have much of a problem" but a few years down the track and that "problem" was horrific. It only gets worse, never better unless we take action to stop, completely stop, not do it half arsed and drink because we feel like it, or we are stressed or it is a day ending in a Y, or there is Johnnies birthday.

To me stopping drinking meant STOPPING, it meant getting all al out of the house, it meant changing my shopping routine to not buy al, it meant staying at home and not going to events that would entice me to drink, it meant looking after myself and being kind to myself to heal. It meant accepting that what my body was doing, withdrawing, that i had done that to myself and i needed to go with whatever my body gave me. Most of all it meant i had to be determined to get through each and everyday to become sober. There was no half arsed, pussy footing attempts at stopping. This was my life i had to save, mine, no one elses and i could only do it. We can pussy foot around stopping all we want but whats the point, we are still pouring a poison down our throat, we are slowly killing ourselves with al.

Keep on here Kailey, i hope i have not scared you but it takes so much grit, determination and hard work to stop drinking and its a hell in itself but so was where i got to drinking. This sober life is so much better, i have a life now, my children have a mother and life is great.

I thank "whoever is up there" daily for giving me my life back and MWO and the wonderful support network that i have needed to get to being sober. Post on here like a lunatic if you have to as you will notice that the mwoers with days up are the ones that always put in an effort to post. this is part of the recovery process.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Av, oh, to have your strength and resolve.... I admire your determination.

Kailey, I'm glad you've decided to stick around. For me, it was a matter of sticking in one place to try and get a toe hold. I don't have the time, or energy, to go from thread to thread. Plus, I would spreading myself too thin.

Dearest DD, anyone in her right mind would have reacted like you did. It was probably good that you broke down--healthy I'd say. If you have to do it again, so be it. Get the grief and anger out, and take care of yourself in every way possible.:l

I should get the result of my blood work tomorrow, and for some reason, I'm scared to death. Everything frightens me at this stage of my life. I need to have faith that if my cholesterol is up, I'll deal with it. If I'm diabetic, I'll deal with it. I'll get my bp down, too. I'm not dealing with anything like DD, but I'm scared nonetheless. At least I'm not drinking.

Love to all.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Juj i have to be determined or else i am setting myself up to fail and i cant do that anymore. I'm 50, i want to see my grandchildren, i want to enjoy life now. I spent way too many years in a bottle to care to remember. My brother also died of alcohol related illness.

God i avoided a blood test for 10 years and always said i would stop drinking for 5 weeks and then have one. Well as you may gather that 5 weeks never eventuated for ten years and when i did have one i just thought the dr would tell me i didnt have a liver etc etc. Everything was fine except my cholesterol was high. Since i gave up drinking i have had 3 blood tests, i just love them lol.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

:wingsD, praying for you...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Jumping back in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
Hang on everyone, your life just may depend on the strength of the nest

Lav

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

available;1670042 wrote: Juj i have to be determined or else i am setting myself up to fail and i cant do that anymore. I'm 50, i want to see my grandchildren, i want to enjoy life now. I spent way too many years in a bottle to care to remember. My brother also died of alcohol related illness.

... i just thought the dr would tell me i didnt have a liver etc etc. Everything was fine except my cholesterol was high. Since i gave up drinking i have had 3 blood tests, i just love them lol.

I'm sorry about your brother. My favorite uncle was an alcoholic, and I loved him dearly. I don't know if his death was alcohol related, but it sure didn't help him. I had 2 great uncles die of alcoholism. You'd think I'd get the picture. Still, I'm not looking forward to my results.

I made myself go for a walk, and it helped tremendously. I feel so much better. The honeysuckle smelled like heaven, I frightened a deer who snorted, and took off, and saw lots of birds. Nothing like nature to get us back in touch with our true selves.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Its funny how we actually see things sober instead of them just being there.

I did not feel sorry for my brother when he died which is sad as i thought he could have gotten control over his drinking, now i realise that he had no control and did not know how to get help, until i myself became an alcoholic also. If never saw the signs with me although in retrospect they were all there.

You will be okay Juj, whatever the dr says you will deal with it sober, as you can. There is nothing i cant deal with sober now and coming here helps tremendously.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

DD, I wish you the best of luck and pray for you during your upcoming treatments. Hang in there.

Kailey, I could have written what you wrote 12 days ago. I was so broken hearted by where I had fallen to in my life. I made the decision to stop, forever. Everyday I get a little more of myself back. My face and hair a little younger, my big fat AL chubby butt a little bit smaller. I was drinking a lot of calories. Every day I'm learning to live in my moment. No more zombie life surfing. I'm new to this excited but guarded. I don't drink anymore, hoorah! I wish you peace and strength.

Mind, day 12 buddy!! I got through kayaking saying no all the way. It was easy to say no. Yahoo!! Two more days it will be 2 weeks. Next goal...30 days!!

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. Glad you are all here. Today is day 36 for me. I can't remember how long it's been since I've gone this long without a drink but it feels great. Thanks!

DD, Do you know MyHappyPlace? She has a thread and she's going through the same thing right now. Might be helpful to connect with her. I'll be sending you healing thoughts. Stupid f'ing cancer anyway.

Night all....

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer and Ginger, you're both doing so great!

Ava, what an honest post. And that's the way my life was going. Just like yours. I had to admit it, really look at specific situations where al was ruining me. My relationships, my passion for work, and just everything in my life were all falling by the wayside. Nothing mattered, I was depressed all the time, my anxiety was so high. But being away from Al for a good while now gives me a glimpse into what a real long-term AF life can bring. And it's freaking fantastic. Really. Thanks for being here for me!! You are one tough birdie to follow in the nest, but I'm hanging onto your feathers, flying high with you, and not letting go.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Oh, Darn. Just lost a long and insightful post (!).

Here's the gist of what I said...

J-Vo - With longer sobriety your disease looks worse because of - well because a lot of what Byrdie and Ava say. Active drinkers are often in denial - I'm not that bad... I've never done... I only drink... With the clarity of sobriety comes the end of denial. I have come to realize that I was that bad, I crossed several lines, and I drank pretty much on every occasion.

Juja - sorry you're struggling. I'm glad you got out for a walk. Another seemingly simplistic yet powerful treatment for alcoholism - fresh air and exercise. Of course none of us is perfect - that is one thing reading around the threads can offer you - a glimpse into how not perfect everyone is. We all struggle - this is NOT easy. I was like Byrdie - I power drank the most when I was giving moderation one last gasp. Not pretty. But I stuck with it, believed in myself, and here I am.

Sarah - I considered myself someone with anxiety - even when I was drinking as you describe. Seriously, I am no longer a person with anxiety. I get anxious, but I have the understanding of how to treat it - exercise, sleep, meditation - without alcohol. It CAN be done. I'm going to get the girls involved (hope K9 doesn't mind). :yougo::yougo::yougo::yougo: YOU GO! You can do this!

DD - Powerful thoughts coming your way. I hope it all goes well on Wednesday.

Petrel - If Ava is your guide, you can't go wrong. And she'll keep you laughing the whole way.

Kailey - So sorry you're in pain. Keep at it - you can do this. I HIGHLY recommend the podcast that NoSugar posted - a very insightful look at addiction. I'm glad you're back - hold on to some strong tail feathers here in the nest.

I'm missing a lot of you, but I lost time when I lost my post. Hope you are all hanging in there.

Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

And Ginger - 36 is GREAT! Sorry I missed your 30 day celebration. Rock on!