Newbies Nest

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1670449 wrote: Mind, I am so glad you held on. CONGRATS!!! On 14 days!! Woo Hoo for you! I'm so happy and proud of you. Here's to another sober night.

Thanks Cherokeer

It's well after midnight here, and I'm working again tomorrow (8th straight day, Urgh), so goodnight everyone!

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Jane27,

Your post to Daisy was one of those well written posts that hit the spot tonight.

Thank you.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

One last thing I'll suggest - do not fall into the mental trap that once you have had a drink in the evening, that you might as well continue drinking 2 or 3 or 5 more and then start AF again the next day. I think it's common for people (or at least it was for me) to think, "Well, now that I've blown my quit with one drink, I might as well make it worthwhile and get a really good buzz - I'll start AF again tomorrow." No.

Wag, I think this is why we can classify ourselves as alkies or people dependent on alcohol (whichever one prefers). After that first drink, all resolve is out the window. Gone. That's because we're addicted to alcohol and we keep feeding it until it's bedtime or just pass out. We can't take that first drink. One is too many, 20's not enough.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The only way to control AL is by giving it a swift kick out of our lives

DD, thinking of you & sending warm, positive thoughts!

Minderaser, Congrats on your 14 AF days - very nice!

Daisy, quite possibly the best way to help your sister is by not enabling her any longer. Sadly if she is left to deal with her boss, her children & everything else she will see the light sooner rather than later. Make sure (of course) that her children are safe but let her have to clean up her own messes. Leave a book lying around for her - maybe Allan Carr's book. Just show her the way but let her make her own life's decisions.

Rahul, travel safely!

Greetings to everyone. Sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Daisy,
You are in early sobriety, and what I think is that you need to take care of yourself right now. I agree with Lav, if you can watch out for the children when needed (is her DH there?) but she needs to find her own way out. We can plant those things in their heads, but they have to be the ones to acknowledge it and be willing to get the help needed. We can't do it for them. I've learned this with my sister. When she was ready (and she knew she had the problem) she got help and worked on it. She still has slips here and there, but she's so much better than she was. So maybe I did help her with some things such as giving her websites, blogs to read, but in the end, it has to be them that puts the work in, just like we are. And yes, it hurts to watch someone you love going through this pain, just as it was hurting people that love us and knew our pain but couldn't do anything.:l

Done with it...I don't believe I'll ever be "done with it" as I need to think of my sobriety every single day. And once you get those first few weeks in, it does get lots easier. It's a journey, Done, and you can do this. It takes lots of work, determination, and reading, posting, and following your plan. Stay in the nest. Read other threads here, read blogs, check out the Bubble Hour as Pav and NS love. Get involved in your sobriety, because this drinking thing is here to stay, but it's much better being on the recovery side than the active side.

Congrats Cherokeer on 13 and Minderaser on 14!!!! :cheering::woot:

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

Home safe and sound from a long from a long day at work. Very surprisingly, not even tempted to drink. I think I'm finally so sick of the roller coaster that drinking has just lost it's appeal. I know it won't be like this every night, but I'll take it. The only other time I had an easy time of it in the early days was in February when I managed 30 days. I was in the same frame of mind then. I just need to make it stick this time!

DD, you are in my thoughts.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, Nest:

One thing I have read/heard about alcoholism is that alcohol gets our dopamine receptors to basically shut down because they are so overwhelmed. It can take 6 months to a year to get them back working properly. That is why we hit "flat" periods where it seems like we'll be bored blah without alcohol, and that is one way in which a relapse is born. Knowing this was coming helped a ton. Understanding that I wouldn't feel this way forever helped me get through the hard times. I have a lot of fun, laugh a lot, and am each day seeing things more clearly.

So for those of you who have gotten to 10, 30, 50 days and relapsed, I offer the idea of taking a leap of faith. Read around here what those long term sober people write - it WILL and it DOES get better. Wag has great suggestions about how to change patterns, Jane's "Do this..." thread, Spirit's Gratitude thread, there are so many ideas here about how to think and get through cravings, no matter how the appear. It is not easy, but it is simple - take care of yourself and don't drink no matter what.

Alky has a suggestion that if you are overwhelmed with a craving, drink a milkshake. If you're still craving, have another. Pretty soon you'll be so full nothing more will fit...

DD - sorry about your worries - my positive thoughts are coming your way.

Daisy - Put on your oxygen mask first... My sister is struggling with being co-dependent right now. She finally got rid of her deadbeat husband and just found a new boyfriend - who is also a deadbeat. I can't believe she can't see it, but she can't. It breaks my heart, but I also know I can't control her behavior. I agree with Lav and J-Vo - make sure the kids are safe and offer support (like, call if you want to go to a meeting with me), but keep yourself safe.

Way to go Mind - 2 weeks!

Stay close, everyone. This is a HARD struggle, but so worth it.

Pav

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hi All, Good morning from Germany.

First of all I want to say thank you for the support yesterday. At this point, when I'm feeling frustrated in the evenings/nights, I feel like something is "missing". Of course that missing element is AL because even when I could drink responsibly, I always had a beer with dinner. As so many of you post, this too shall pass, I just have to slow myself down and really take it one day at a time. My shrink also gives me this advice for my depression. Hmmm, depression and AL, same advice... it should all make sense in my stupid brain by now.

So... I'm getting ready to go to my German language class. It's going to be another hot day here in South Germany. It's already too hot for me to use my hairdryer so I'll be going to class looking like a mess. I haven't been eating properly so I just feel "big". I've literally been wanting to lose 10 lbs for over 5 years... which is the time that my drinking had been slowly escalating. Hmmm... connections much?!

I did handle one thing differently yesterday... when my depression witching hour hit, I went and talked with my husband rather than sitting alone and stewing in bad feelings or plotting a way that I could sneak out to the store. The only problem with that is the fact that my husband feels the need to come up with a "solution" for all of my issues (he's and IT project manager) rather than just listening. I told him to shut up, I don't need a solution... I KNOW what needs to be done in my life. It's just getting over the bad feelings and actually putting the plan into motion that I struggle with. I told him that sometimes people just need a listening ear or a hug, not a project plan. I have my own project plan that just needs to be executed. LOL, nerdy, I know.

OK, I would rather stay here and read more but I have to go for now. Much love and strength to you all today.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Pavati;1670502 wrote: MAE, Nest:

One thing I have read/heard about alcoholism is that alcohol gets our dopamine receptors to basically shut down because they are so overwhelmed. It can take 6 months to a year to get them back working properly. That is why we hit "flat" periods where it seems like we'll be bored blah without alcohol, and that is one way in which a relapse is born. Knowing this was coming helped a ton. Understanding that I wouldn't feel this way forever helped me get through the hard times. I have a lot of fun, laugh a lot, and am each day seeing things more clearly.

So for those of you who have gotten to 10, 30, 50 days and relapsed, I offer the idea of taking a leap of faith. Read around here what those long term sober people write - it WILL and it DOES get better. Wag has great suggestions about how to change patterns, Jane's "Do this..." thread, Spirit's Gratitude thread, there are so many ideas here about how to think and get through cravings, no matter how the appear. It is not easy, but it is simple - take care of yourself and don't drink no matter what.



Pav

Pav, nice post which I can relate to particularly well. I know I've read similar material before regarding dopamine, the brains recovery etc. It obviously didn't sink with me. I plan to research more and print it out so it's in my face until it does sink in. I'll report back with anything useful.

DD, my thoughts are with you in this difficult time. But you will be back very soon and there is lots of support waiting.

Petrel

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

mein, a massive generalisation, but men like to be able to provide solutions, to fix it. as women we generally like to verbalise and be heard, acknowledged, no fix needed every time.

glad youre back on track petrel.

DD thinking of you today.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

MAE

Woke up thinking about DD. I'll be relieved when she can check in with us.

Couples' therapy tonight. My stomach goes into a knot when I think about it. I must be honest about how I feel. I can do it in a kind way. I will come straight home afterwards.

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD i hope everything went well and thinking of you also.

Petrel its really not your fault that you thought you were the only person in the world that could moderate with ease. Lol. Ok enough said, back on track with you. Annoyed you made me use so many bricks to make it sink into your thick head that modding was not an option but proud of you for jumping right back in where you belong.

Mein, post on here if you feel like a drink, if you are bored get on here, if you are craving a drink, get on here and be accountable. Everyone with days up are on here once or twice a day or more.

Rox nice to see you around, you must be wracking up the days now?????????????

Hi Juj and yes you can do it and without a drop of al also. Protect your quit with everything you have girl. He is a grown up at the end of the day and us women are nurturers but we can only do that for so long. Be strong and let us know how it goes. Come home and check in please

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1670557 wrote: Hi All, Good morning from Germany.

First of all I want to say thank you for the support yesterday. At this point, when I'm feeling frustrated in the evenings/nights, I feel like something is "missing". Of course that missing element is AL because even when I could drink responsibly, I always had a beer with dinner. As so many of you post, this too shall pass, I just have to slow myself down and really take it one day at a time. My shrink also gives me this advice for my depression. Hmmm, depression and AL, same advice... it should all make sense in my stupid brain by now.

So... I'm getting ready to go to my German language class. It's going to be another hot day here in South Germany. It's already too hot for me to use my hairdryer so I'll be going to class looking like a mess. I haven't been eating properly so I just feel "big". I've literally been wanting to lose 10 lbs for over 5 years... which is the time that my drinking had been slowly escalating. Hmmm... connections much?!

I did handle one thing differently yesterday... when my depression witching hour hit, I went and talked with my husband rather than sitting alone and stewing in bad feelings or plotting a way that I could sneak out to the store. The only problem with that is the fact that my husband feels the need to come up with a "solution" for all of my issues (he's and IT project manager) rather than just listening. I told him to shut up, I don't need a solution... I KNOW what needs to be done in my life. It's just getting over the bad feelings and actually putting the plan into motion that I struggle with. I told him that sometimes people just need a listening ear or a hug, not a project plan. I have my own project plan that just needs to be executed. LOL, nerdy, I know.

OK, I would rather stay here and read more but I have to go for now. Much love and strength to you all today.

Oh my goodness I SOOO understand about your hubby. My hubby is also an IT guy (more so than me) as he was a Director of IT. If the power goes out, and I'm just trying to set the microwave clock...he tells me how to a build a watch, what chemicals are used within a clock to make the mechanisms work, etc. etc. I KNOW you KNOW. By the time he is done I have to ask again (after 2 brewskies) "what time is it?" sigh... lol

Wishing u the best...I SO get it!

Love,

Sarah

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Wow, my husband is an IT Guy too. That's weird. Well day 14 for me. Never thought I could do it. Now on to day 30.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Wow, my husband is an IT Guy too. That's weird. Well day 14 for me. Never thought I could do it. Now on to day 30.