Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

J-vo, that's good advice. I am staring to get my energy back. If I'm staring to feel good in two weeks I can't imagine what 1 month, 2 moths etc.

Wag, hang in there.

Jane, beautifully written tribute. Sorry for your loss.

I realized the weekend is almost here and I'm already getting calls from people wanting to hang out by the pond and drink. Sigh, I said I don't drink anymore. They said "that's okay, we'll drink for you". I never realized how much drinking was part of our socializing.

I treated myself to a mani/pedi today. I figured I've saved so much money not buying wine I'm still ahead. Everyone have a great sober night.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer - Thanks, I will.

It is an eye-opener sometimes to discover the extent to which AL permeated our lives, huh? I'm lucky that I have several good friends who either don't drink or only do so very moderately, but still living AF is so very different.

You stand strong in your quit ok?

[available]

Newbies Nest

great gazette Jane. I always get asked to do my "gazette" and i find that a word of endearment that people actually care what i have written.

[Booze Blues]

Newbies Nest

Oh Jane,
I am so sorry for your loss and that your having a difficult time. Big hugs to you, I?m sure Ava. didn?t mean to cause you any pain when your feeling so low. For the record I love your posts and find them so eloquintly written and so emotional. I as do others, which is evident from the responses, look forward to your honesty and insights please keep writing as much as you like.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Dearest Jane,

Thank you for your beautiful post. I loved reading it. You made your former MIL come alive with your writing. What a delightful person to have in your life. She cherished you, too, so you were doubly blessed.

Please accept a warm, heartfelt hug. :l

Love,
Juja

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Rain again today - get seriously boring but rumor has it that the weekend will be nice

Wag & Cherokeer, friends & family have no idea of what we go thru where Al is concerned. Their actions & comments can seem insensitive at times. I chose not to talk about my journey with any of them, just kept it to myself. I really didn't want any comments or opinions from them, still don't. That's why MWO became such a lifeline for me

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

I awoke with the early light filled with anxiety (not AL related), so I thought I'd come here instead of thinking, thinking, thinking.

As some of you know, I struggle with being AF. I don't talk about it here because I don't want to derail those who are making progress. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm not fully committed, and I know it. I want to be, but I'm not. The fact that I'm here, and haven't gone AWOL, is a positive step. I'll continue to read, learn, and rack up as many AF days as I can.

I am in awe of the love and giving that is on this site. I had no idea when I first joined MWO that that was what the nest was all about. Thank you all for your generosity of spirit, your gift of your time when you write heartfelt posts, and the unconditional love I feel.

Juja:h

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Juja - Sorry to hear of your anxiety this morning, but it's so good that you came here instead of yourself spin. I know you know this, but breathe...

Every AF day goes in the bank and should be seen as an accomplishment. We all stumble and struggle in our own different ways, and I think all nesters should feel like this is a safe place to be honest (my opinion anyway).

You have a lot going on right now. Be good and kind to yourself, compassionate toward yourself, just like you would be/have been/are toward others.

Keep coming back here throughout the day. As you well know, you'll almost always find someone in the nest or get a fairly prompt reply. We're all here for you, for each other.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer and Wag,

The change from our drinking lives to AF lives is huge. Everything is different. Our feelings change, our habits need to change, our daily routines change, and that's no easy thing. But as this big change in our lives is occurring, everyone else's pretty much stays the same. For most people, they won't be able to grasp what this lifestyle change is about and how much work is required. We're not just learning how to ride a bike. We're learning how to LIVE a new life, being reborn into a new AF person. I agree with Lav, in that maybe they don't need to hear the details of our struggle and need to acquire this new life. Sometimes our friends will accept this and some of them won't. I don't go to bars after work with friends anymore, but I sure as hell am going to yoga with them, on a bike ride, and if they're not alkies, they do other things and have fun in other ways. So reconnecting with friends in a non-al setting is what I've been working on with my friends.

Juja, just keep racking up the days. You're going through lots right now. Just be kind to yourself. Keep releasing your thoughts on here.

Have a great AL free day!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

available;1671339 wrote: great gazette Jane. I always get asked to do my "gazette" and i find that a word of endearment that people actually care what i have written.

I look forward to your Gazette, Ava, and am very disappointed when it doesn't arrive in my driveway for my dog to fetch like she does my other 3 newpapers :l.

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Juja - and others who've started day 1 over - there's no judgement here. I don't know of anyone who was successful on their first Day 1. Definitely not me. While I'm proud of my days this time, and try to keep up with the Roll Call, sometimes I worry whether the Roll Call might also create a stigma for those who slip, unintentionally causing people to feel shame and give up. I was here once before, had some good days under my belt, slipped, decided "what the hell -- now that I've f***'d up I might as well try to moderate" and became a bigger drunk than ever before. I wish I would have stuck with it!

My little brother runs marathons and his time is just under 4 hours. When he comes up to stay with us to run, his very favorite thing to do is to go back to the finish line about 6 hours after the start, when the slowest runners are finally making it across the finish line. He goes crazy cheering on those people, who are usually rather out-of-shape looking, and when I asked him why he says that it's because it takes so much more work, commitment, and endurance to run 26 miles when you're out-of-shape than it does when you're in top condition. In his mind, they are the most impressive runners in the race and he wants them to be cheered on.

I feel the same way about people who slip and immediately come back. Those early days are the hardest. I slipped the first time I came here, felt ashamed and left. It seems like every week there are new people who join us or awhile, then suddenly disappear forever. We all know it's because they slipped and quit. To keep coming back and trying after a slip takes SO much more courage, determination and strength than to give up and disappear.

So please, please just stick with us and know that when one of us falls down, the only emotion the rest of us feels when you get back up again is tremendous relief, gratitude and admiration that you stayed here to keep trying!

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Pepper.... I wish there was a like button here! Great thoughts and great post!

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Pepper, This is an excellent post. This would be a great private message to those that stop by and then disappear. If this could be sent as a private message to AWOL folks, it would be the first thing they'd see when they return later. Just a thought.... I've seen a few disappear in my short 40 days and I keep looking for them to return and sending them "private AF energy" in hopes they do.

Juja, you will get there when you get there. Point is... you are trying. That's the first step.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1671514 wrote:

My little brother runs marathons and his time is just under 4 hours. When he comes up to stay with us to run, his very favorite thing to do is to go back to the finish line about 6 hours after the start, when the slowest runners are finally making it across the finish line. He goes crazy cheering on those people, who are usually rather out-of-shape looking, and when I asked him why he says that it's because it takes so much more work, commitment, and endurance to run 26 miles when you're out-of-shape than it does when you're in top condition. In his mind, they are the most impressive runners in the race and he wants them to be cheered on.

I feel the same way about people who slip and immediately come back. Those early days are the hardest. I slipped the first time I came here, felt ashamed and left. It seems like every week there are new people who join us or awhile, then suddenly disappear forever. We all know it's because they slipped and quit. To keep coming back and trying after a slip takes SO much more courage, determination and strength than to give up and disappear.

So please, please just stick with us and know that when one of us falls down, the only emotion the rest of us feels when you get back up again is tremendous relief, gratitude and admiration that you stayed here to keep trying!

Pepper,
About your little brother, that is so fantastic. What a great person he is!!!!!! And yes, I agree with you! Keep coming back, even if you have slipped. We all have been there. It takes so many of us lots of times get to that sticking point. Keep getting back up after a fall, because the next quit may be a keeper. GREAT POST PEPPER!!!!!!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Pepper, it must run in the family! You are both doing the same thing, just different people - that is so nice!