Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning!
Ava and Pav, congrats on your 200 days!!! That's just outstanding!! Dont' you feel better without that annoying monkey on your back (doing his insanity dance?)
:crazymonkey:
DD, 50 days, wow! Big numbers!! I bet you feel like a queen!!!
:crowned:

Lost, most of us will tell you that tapering is HARD. In fact, most of us couldn't do it, we had to go cold turkey. BUT I know you have a history of seizures so (we aren't dr's!!) Have you looked in the phone book for some volunteer organizations that might be able to help you? It is a matter of life and death, so check your pride at the door if you have to and get the help you need to beat this hideous monster. There is NO shame in getting help....I wish you strength!!!

Welcome back, cupcake. Settle in and let us know what brings you by. Sometimes, just getting it out of you and on to paper helps. We are glad you're here.

Heading back to Charleston tonight. But will be back tomorrow. It's just Friday, not an excuse to undo it all!! Stay strong! I know that many of the new newbies say, 'well it's easy for you, you've been doing it long time!' Yes, that is true, it does get easier the longer you go, but I had trials and life situations back then too. If I can do it, I know you can, too!!! Keep going no matter what. Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,
As Byrdie said, it does get easier, and weekend are so much more than they used to be. I used to lose so much time on the weekend sleeping and being hungover. I'd be in bed by 8:00 p.m. because I'd start to drink right after work. Then I'd have a crappy night's sleep, wake up feeling yucky, take a nap shortly after getting up, and start over only to drink a few hours and be back in bed. What kind of a life is that? A sad, wasted one. Now, I get up, enjoy my coffee, I'm going for a bike ride with a girlfriend, stopping for lunch somewhere, and that's only half my day! There's more fun after that. So AF is so much better on the weekend and everyday.

Cupcake, glad you're here. You did 9 months! That's quite impressive. How was your life throughout those months? I bet freaking fantastic! I bet you didn't send one stupid email, didn't lose any friendships or respect of family members. I hope that you can patch up your relationship with that person. And it's things like these that bring us to our senses that we need to get and stay AF, because our relationships mean lots to us, much more than the poison we're pouring down our throats. I'm glad you're here and that you can share some of your AF tips with everyone.

Juju, now don't get your right and left mixed up like I do. I'm a lefty, and I do that lots. When I had to take folk and square dancing in college, I lost my partner every time! OMG.

Have a great AF Friday everyone. Come here and post if you have a craving, or Al thought, or want to provide support for someone that does.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to Ava and Pav for 200 days recently and to DD for 50 - big round numbers all the way around!!! Although honestly, every AF day is worth celebrating and acknowledging. Each day is a gift we give ourselves and those who love us.

Juja and Byrdie- Hang in there and keep racking up the days. You're both going through some difficult stuff, and you know you'll be better off sober.

Lost - To echo others, tapering is very hard, and it might be helpful to reflect on what's tripping you up with the process? Fear of serious withdrawal symptoms, not quite ready to let go of AL, habit, the mental games most of us go through with drinking, other??? Regardless, don't hesitate to post here. Maybe try posting before you take the extra drink and see if our support can help you get down to the next level of your taper?

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, Just checking in.
Ava, YOU and PAV, way to go!

Cupcake, glad you are here. 9 months? Wow! that is amazing. I am sure you can do that again. Please come back here and post.

I am going to start posting here more often. Just have to make the time. My sobriety is SO important, I have 69 days today and plan to never drink again but I know I need help. All of your posts help me so much. Thank you everyone.

Talk soon,

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Cupcake;1673934 wrote: I need to join this group. Have been looking at this site for a long time. Have had quite a lot of success, the longest amount of SF time I had was 9 months, until I fell off the wagon. You all know what happens then. Feeling pretty rough as last weekend after a drinking session I sent a really stupid email to a family member, who has now ostracised me. My own fault, I acknowledge that, but my week has been full of shame and anxiety. I need to address my drinking problems. I already know I can do it as I've had periods of success. But I desperately need permanent sobriety now. I have read so many uplifting stories on here, that I feel I need support. Thank you all.:new:

:welcome: Cupcake,

You have landed in a safe and supportive spot. As others have said, nestle in and take a deep breath. Please post regularly, whether you have up days or down, successes or struggles, questions or suggestions. We've all been in similar situations and can relate, empathize, etc.

Glad you're here!

[Cupcake]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I'm happy to be on board. Thinking back to my 9 months sobriety, I can remember it being a very positive and happy time. It was only a holiday experience that made me think it would be OK to have a drink. Once you've started you fall right into the abyss again. When I didn't drink I actually got to that point where the smell of alcohol put me off, I didn't think about drinking when a social occasion arose. I must have been so strong. How can you become so weak and such a a victim to alcohol again? The wine monster was on my shoulder on the way home tonight. But I'm doing the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels, what a killer!! But boy does it make you sweat and feel good - I would recommend it. Need to shift this wine flab which has crept on. Anyway, all have a great Friday evening. I'm having a cup of Redbush Tea. No booze for me since Tuesday so 4 days already..

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Cupcake,

I can understand how tempting it can be when you are out of your routine like vacation and telling yourself hey its vacation I can have one drink ... !!! We need to remember two things ...

First : we dont need one drink .. Its never about just one drink for us. And one drink is never sufficient for us. Its starts with one then we want more and more and more ...
Second : There are no vacations from sobriety. Being sober is like taking care of an infant. We have to feed him, protect him, take care of him, make him grow, nurture him and make him an stronger being ...

I am right now in vacation just came back from a Friday nice club. Its my 4 th day today and first they saw me taking a chocolate milk instead of AL, I heard the usual ... Why ? Not even one ? Oh come on etc etc... Now on day 4 they KNOW I am not drinking and more importantly I know I am not drinking !!

So stay strong you have done it before...

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Cupcake;1674102 wrote: Thank you all for the warm welcome. I'm happy to be on board. Thinking back to my 9 months sobriety, I can remember it being a very positive and happy time. It was only a holiday experience that made me think it would be OK to have a drink. Once you've started you fall right into the abyss again. When I didn't drink I actually got to that point where the smell of alcohol put me off, I didn't think about drinking when a social occasion arose. I must have been so strong. How can you become so weak and such a a victim to alcohol again? The wine monster was on my shoulder on the way home tonight. But I'm doing the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels, what a killer!! But boy does it make you sweat and feel good - I would recommend it. Need to shift this wine flab which has crept on. Anyway, all have a great Friday evening. I'm having a cup of Redbush Tea. No booze for me since Tuesday so 4 days already..

That's great that you remember your AF time as positive and happy - hopefully that will help motivate you to protect your quit.

Exercise is so important for many reasons. JM's 30DS is a very good workout. Have you tried any others? I don't like some of her stuff but that one is "fun" and effective. I am currently doing a hybrid of Insanity and P90X3 plus paddling on an outrigger canoe team. I just joined the team a few weeks ago, and it has been huge in helping me stay AF and eat clean. No way could I keep up with my teammates if I start drinking or eating crap, and since I love the social and physical aspects of the sport, it's probably going to be a strong motivator that will help me get through the summer.

Good job on 4 days. You'll have double digits before you know it!

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Still here. Still struggling, but moving forward, anyway.

j-vo - I was drinking around 1 and a half liters of hard liquor (either vodka or bourbon, depending on my mood) each day. As far as I can calculate, that’s over 30 shots a day! My poor liver must hate me. It’s a wonder that tolerance builds to the point that I can function. Anyway, I promptly cut back to only one liter a day and have been attempting to cut back by three shots a day (by buying smaller bottles, supplemented by individual shot bottles - hey, at least my math muscles are getting a workout trying to figure all this stuff out!). I can’t just stop, as I’ve experienced life-threatening withdrawal (seizures, DT’s, etc.) in the past. I’m going to keep trying to forge forward, but if unsuccessful, I see my doctor on July 2nd. He has in the past been willing to do an outpatient detox with me. I cringe to ask him again, but if it’s needed, then I’ll have to get over it.

Cupcake - 9 months is amazing! Don’t be too hard on yourself about sending an unintended e-mail. We’ve all done that (well maybe not me because I don’t check my e-mail for months at a time, but I’ve made plenty of drunk phone calls!). I don’t think that shame will get you anywhere (although I know it’s not that easy to forget). Be proud of what you’ve already accomplished and know that you can do it again.

Thank you Juja. It pains me to be honest, but what else is the point in coming to a site like this?

Byrdie, thank you for your ongoing support. As I said above, if I can’t do it alone, I will check my pride at the door and ask for professional help.

Wagmore, I will try my best to post more before taking that (those) extra drink(s). Thank you for making me feel welcome, despite my difficulties.

Rahul - that’s awesome that you’re away on vacation and not drinking. No responsibilities other than to have fun and you’re doing it the right way - having sober fun. Hope the rest of your vacation goes well!

Well I hope all you Newbies Nesters have a great night!

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Lostinspace;1674185 wrote: Hi all. Still here. Still struggling, but moving forward, anyway.

Wagmore, I will try my best to post more before taking that (those) extra drink(s). Thank you for making me feel welcome, despite my difficulties.

No worries LIS. Please keep posting and reaching out. When I was doing my own taper, I read a great quote that said, "There's no such thing as tapering too slowly." This was from a safety perspective, but I think it's a wise approach. If you've cut down from 1.5 L to 1.0 or less, that's significant progress in a short time. You didn't just launch right in and drink 1.5 L with tolerance - it will take your brain and body time to adjust in the other direction.

Breath, acknowledge your progress, and keep taking it one day at a time. If you can take a sip less, it's a sip less. A shot less? Great. 2 or 3 less, awesome. More than that is probably starting to go too fast based on your initial consumption and tolerance levels, but it sounds like you already know that.

Glad to hear you have a Dr appt scheduled for July 2 just in case. Hopefully you won't need it, but it's good you have it as a back up.

Hugs, Wag

[available]

Newbies Nest

Lost dont ever cringe about asking for help and you sound determined to put al in the past. You can do this and you are here which is wonderful.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Should be going to bed but wanted to stop by here first.

Hello & welcome Cupcake!
Glad you decided to join us, please pull up a twig & make yourself comfortable.

Narilly, nice to see you & congrats on your 69 AF days - great!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Good to see you here, Nar! Those days - around 100 and beyond - can be a bit weird. I felt flat, blah, anxious, etc. I hope you're feeling well and glad you posted here.

Lost - Take care of yourself first. Swallow that pride and ask for help - you might be surprised.

Hope you took that right turn, Juja (or was it left).

Rahul - You can write a book (or a blog) - Sober Travels with Rahul. You sound like a lot of fun!

Really and truly life is so much better sober. NoSugar mentioned a Brene Brown quote today - you can't selectively numb. Alcohol is good at numbing the pain and anxiety, but it also numbs the rest of life as well. On top of all that, there's the anxiety and physical damage it causes. Yes, there is a grieving process when quitting. Yes, we can all point to good times with alcohol. But we can't selectively live life either - just remember the good times.

Quitting is HARD, but so very much worth it. My life is so much better now that I quit, and I would not have said it was bad at all before.

I believe I am the last to go to bed on a Friday night (unless K9 and Scottish Lass are around) - glad you all stayed sober on this day just like any other day. Thanks for the good wishes.

Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Thought this might help here today:

The “pink cloud” is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now “hold the key” to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Life is such a funny thing isn't it? You begin to understand your mis-comings and work on them, and then everyone and their mother "have the answer". Odd I say. To my recollection, noone that I know have lived in my shoes. There is so much judgment, ridicule and stigma associated to what we have- down here.

A disease.

It's quite laughable that people who have never suffered from our disease have SOOO much to say about it.

I didn't share openly on a public platform that I had a drinking problem, (other than here) but I live in the Bible belt and read many messages about AL.


One said "You must find God...God heals all." Really? Now before I go off on this rant you must
understand I am a Christian. However, I'm waffling...and I'm not stupid. Can anyone explain to me
why a loving God would allow children to be born with Rhett's or with Epilesy or cancer and die?

Is there anyone here who could explain to me why God (this all-knowing, all-seeing, divine Master)
allows war, children to die, broken up marriages, homosexuals, murderers, rapists, drunks and
druggies to happen? You can't. So don't friggin preach to me plz.

Second, I shared with a 'friend' who was a previous AL of 'what I thought" I might be drinking at,
and he said 'maybe u need to see a psychologists'. Well friend, I did. 2 of them to be exact, and
they both told me the same thing... I need to take my parent's out of my life. OK...

However, I live in an Southern culture where family is hugely important- so getting 'rid' of my parents
is not on the table. So, I need a way to deal with my emotions about them and other things that
happen in my life that I'm convinced is what I'm drinking 'at'.

I had an 'episode' tonight wherein I shared some more info with my hubby about my parents, my previous life, etc and an argument I had with a person who was a previous AL (political argument) etc...

Hubby said he was walking on egg shells with me in regard to drinking. He said he had no idea of what
I grew up in and agreed with the psychologist I have to just let my parents go...

Now here is the kicker...how in the hell do you just let your parents out of your life? I love my parents!
My dad is the funniest, most understanding and loyal man you could ever meet. My Mom is mostly the problem, but even she, in her older age, is a bit more tolerant. That being said, she has also gotten more 'religious'.

I think the truth is for me that even at my age, I am still looking for some sortof 'acceptance' from
my parents. I 'think' I drink at the fact that I will never obtain that acceptance. I suppose, in
my mind, I realize that no matter if I'm 40, 50, 60 yrs of age and no matter what I have accomplished
in life- it will never plz my mother.

The reason I share this with you all, is in hopes that if you are feeling 'unaccepted' in some shape or form that I think it's vital for us to find a way to move forward....

I haven't figured it out yet myself...

However, I know I need to. I truly need to leave the past in the past and deal with present. I'm
just not sure I am capable. Two psychologists told me what to do...but I can't seem too. It's like with Juva and her hubby I guess. Juva- been there with ex-hubby too..thankfully I met a GOOD one!! So, I get it.


Sorry for the long posts and probably boring you all, but I felt I needed to say something about this, as it was an eye- opener for me. Still reading Carr's book and I guess it prompted me to introspect a bit.

Sorry again for the dribble,

Love Sarah