Newbies Nest

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Rahul - I'm so glad that isn't how your vacation went either! Good job!!!

Dila and Juja - You can do this, and we are here to help. I think starting together is a great idea so that you each have extra support along the way.

j-vo - I totally agree with your thoughts about coming to the nest and finding just the messages and support that are needed. I especially like what you wrote to Cherokeer:

Feel that feeling. Let it ride through us. Because that feeling isn't going to stay forever.

This is SO important to keep in mind, especially for people like me who used to drink to get away from some sort of uncomfortable feeling. When you're in the middle of it, it feels like it will be endless. But it does pass, and riding it out brings strength for the next time.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Cupcake;1674818 wrote: Evening all. Sorry to be a bit dense but what does TTFP mean??

You're not dense, cc, you're learning! TTFP is "Take the F****** Pill" (antabuse).

Yes, this is a warm bunch, and very, very supportive. Amazing.

Dila, I'm not drinking. How about you?:l

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

J-VO, well said. It made me almost tear up today thinking about how much I wanted to drink yesterday. I think I am getting hormonal and that had always triggered me to drink massive amounts of wine. I am going to get through it. I may just be jumping on here yelling "HELP! talk to my dumb ass I want to drink."

Question: As time goes on do you begin to forget the bad things about drinking? How do you keep your head in all the bad things when the AL brain tries to remember the fun stuff? I heard today it takes a year before your brain starts working properly after stopping AL. To anyone's knowledge, is that true?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Chero,
Do we ever forget the bad stuff associated with AL!! It's called Euphoric Recall. I think that, and coupled with our addicted heads (Dick Head) think "Gosh, I have been able to stop drinking for X amount of time...maybe I didn't have that bad a problem after all!' ' I see other people cutting down, I will be able to now that Ive proven I can go without.' Then we have all media and family and friends telling us its ok, it is a recipe for relapse. That is one of the reasons that makes MWO work, we can keep a written record of what brought us here in the first place. Unfortunately, we never get over being an Alkie, so vigilance will always be part of it. I can say at every milestone, it was better than the previous one. You dont know what you dont know...so each day that passed was generally better. At 100 days, I finally felt like I was out of the woods. If you keep track of folks here, once they hit 100 days, they tend to maintain their quits for the long haul. I think about AL every day. Something will make me remember a situation where I coped by drinking. It was part of my life for so long. But now, being sober is normal, so I am building new memories. Maybe some day, there will be a time when I dont think about it at all, but. I plan to stay connected to this site, so in that sense, I will always be aware of what it did to me. That's a good thing. Just keep building your days and you will be amazed at how they stack up. It is a process. Byrdie

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, so sorry to hear about your nephew. I?m wishing him all the answers that he deserves. Hopefully he will find a cure! And congrats on not giving in to pizza or ice cream! I have similar food issues. Yes, it is very similar to alcohol. I?ve found, over the last few years, that there are certain foods I simply cannot have in the house. There?s no such thing as ?just one,? or ?just one serving.? It?s either I will eat the entire box/bag/etc., or nothing at all. Congrats on keeping to your health goals!

j-vo - we can?t control our family members. Please don?t feel this is your battle. Feel sad for them, angry at them, yes. But, I?m afraid that?s all you can do. Try hard not to join them in their misery. I?m sorry if that seems like a lame platitude, that?s all I can offer. And, thank you, I do want to change. I?ve lost family members to cirrhosis myself. Don?t want to go down that road myself. Glad to see that you?re feeling better today, though!

Wag - I?m so sorry for your loss and the fact that it?s reviving your mother?s loss in your mind. Please give yourself the time and space you need to grieve. I know all too well how family ties often disintegrate after a person dies - try not to take your delayed notice of the death as a slight. Family dynamics change, that doesn?t make you any less a part of the family.

Dila - Welcome back to Day 1! I hope you have a beautiful Sunday!

Juja - Don?t fret too much about slipping. Marital difficulties are very difficult to work through - I know, I?m in the middle of one myself. I can definitely relate to the stress at work and the nightmares where people want more and more of you. I don?t have the greatest advice, but I think it?s okay to ?slump? for a while if you have no energy to do anything, so long as you don?t allow yourself to make it a habit (i.e. fall into serious depression). You?re going to clean your apartment today. That?s a great start!

Cupcake - good for you for getting through the weekend!

I?ve maintained this weekend, neither going back up to previous levels, nor going down in my taper down schedule. Can?t say this weekend was successful. And please feel free to tell me if I?m out of my league. I know I?m offering advice when people are hurting, but I may not be wise enough to say the right thing, so please feel free to tell me shut the f*&k up!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Finally had a nice weather today & was outside as much as possible

Lis, I think you mentioned you're seeing your Doc soon? Are you waiting for medical advice, Rx, etc before quitting entirely? It's probably good that you're hanging out in the nest in the meantime & hopefully getting a lot from the Tool box thread too
Chero, I rarely think about AL anymore & when I do it's in terms of that's something I used to do. The vivid shame & remorse feelings have been packed away but not forgotten - if you know what I mean! It does take time to feel solid in your quit. It took me a good year to feel that I could really trust myself. Hang in there because you'll get there one day at a time too.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1674864 wrote:
Question: As time goes on do you begin to forget the bad things about drinking? How do you keep your head in all the bad things when the AL brain tries to remember the fun stuff? I heard today it takes a year before your brain starts working properly after stopping AL. To anyone's knowledge, is that true?

Cherokeer,
I think coming here daily helps to keep our heads in the right place. Reading various threads such as "You know you're an alkie when..." or something like that, reading as much as you can on alcoholic addiction, watching documentaries, reading memoirs and keeping all of these things that happen to us "fresh" in our minds will help. If we can identify the bad things, then we can be sure it'll happen if we pick up a drink again.

But, the thing is, we will miss it regardless of how much we try to keep ourselves aware and learning and in the present moment. Why? Because that's the way addiction plays. It finds any way to sneak back into our brain with the fun memories of drinking. And what we see when we go out -- people harmlessly drinking (like I did friday night), people drinking on tv, in advertisements and it goes on and on. It's everywhere, and in all of the pictures and things we see, it's of people having "good" al times. But what happens after those pretty pictures of the beautiful people having their fun times is over -- nope, we don't see that and that's what happens to us. So we have to play that good time until the very end of the night for ourselves when the bad time comes and we may make dumb asses out of ourselves then we go to bed only to wake up at 3:00 with the sweats, thirst, GSR bros. Not pretty anymore.

As for the year thing, I've heard of that many times. And a good podcast to listen to is the Bubble Hour and John Kelly the guest and he talks a lot about the brain and alcohol. It's a good one that many of us have listened to.

Hang in there Cherokeer. I had a few tears myself this weekend.:l

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,
Going on vacation next week to a beautiful all-inclusive resort. I'm gonna take my antabuse with me just in case, but I for sure don't want to have a vacation like the one you posted! Glad your holidays didn't go that way, too! But great reminder of what I don't want it to be like. No way! Thank you!

Wag, I think that's what one day at a time does for us. It brings us strength. A little more each day. And the hard days we have, well, they give us double the strength. I'm going with faith in what the long-timers here say, and I'm gonna fake it till I make it. I hope you do, too!

Keep stayin close Cupcake. Read lots here and in other threads.

LIS, last week was successful in reducing so think about tomorrow. How can you reduce even more. Glad you're sticking close to the Nest.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

cherokeer and j-vo - it's been a weekend of tears and temptations for me as well. Today was arguably my hardest AF day so far, but thanks to all the support here plus my own hard work and what I've learned over the past 52 days, I made it thru AF.

I can't remember if I shared this already, but one strategy I used today that really helped me surf the urges was to do the opposite of what I felt like doing. For example, I felt like drinking, but I worked out instead. I felt like hiding inside all day and crying, but I took my dog for a long walk instead. I felt like withdrawing, but I reached out to friends and also asked for help here.

All told, it worked!

I have a lot of grieving to do, but day 53 here I come!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Rahul, great description of what WASN'T your vacation. I love your posts. You make sober traveling so appealing!

Cherokeer - That is also called the Pink Cloud Effect (I posted a description a few pages back). If you read about relapse you will find out that complacency is one of the biggest causes (the mental relapse comes before the physical one). That is why people with even 30 years sober continue to participate in a sober community and focus daily on staying sober, even when they're feeling great. That's why long-timers here worry when people start stepping away from MWO - posting and participating sporadically. It is a first sign of relapse, thinking that maybe I'LL be the one who can moderate... The Bubble Hour Podcast had a great episode on Relapse Prevention that talks about the signs of relapse and how to avoid it. They have guests that were 5 and even 15 years sober, and nevertheless had relapses. It is insightful and informative.

I am off to bed, and then to a two day conference, so posting may be hard. Rest assured I will read and stay in touch, but you might not "see" me here.

Pav

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Just checking in to say hi! The AF part of life is going well. I haven't posted much lately, but I try to read as much as possible. I appreciate the positive vibe on NN. It really helps.

Other aspects of life are very average at the moment, to say the least. Property settlement in my marriage breakup heading the list there. Anyway, that will pass. Better times ahead I'm sure.

Sorry to see some of you take a fall, but great to see you get right back up again.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Just checking in to say hi! The AF part of life is going well. I haven't posted much lately, but I try to read as much as possible. I appreciate the positive vibe on NN. It really helps.

Other aspects of life are very average at the moment, to say the least. Property settlement in my marriage breakup heading the list there. Anyway, that will pass. Better times ahead I'm sure.

Sorry to see some of you take a fall, but great to see you get right back up again.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Byrdye : what a wonderful post and I so agree with you. And sorry I cpuld not reply to your earlier comments about me writting a blog. Well maybe I can but who will read ir ?

Jvo, wag, Paviti : I am glad you liked the post and am so glad I was sober.

[Eloise]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for posting this Pav... I will check the podcast about relapses later....

Pavati;1674914 wrote: Hi, All:

Rahul, great description of what WASN'T your vacation. I love your posts. You make sober traveling so appealing!

Cherokeer - That is also called the Pink Cloud Effect (I posted a description a few pages back). If you read about relapse you will find out that complacency is one of the biggest causes (the mental relapse comes before the physical one). That is why people with even 30 years sober continue to participate in a sober community and focus daily on staying sober, even when they're feeling great. That's why long-timers here worry when people start stepping away from MWO - posting and participating sporadically. It is a first sign of relapse, thinking that maybe I'LL be the one who can moderate... The Bubble Hour Podcast had a great episode on Relapse Prevention that talks about the signs of relapse and how to avoid it. They have guests that were 5 and even 15 years sober, and nevertheless had relapses. It is insightful and informative.

I am off to bed, and then to a two day conference, so posting may be hard. Rest assured I will read and stay in touch, but you might not "see" me here.

Pav

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Wag,
Whatever it takes to get to that next day. Distractions work wonderfully. And I like the idea of doing the opposite. It forces you to change your direction, hence having to force new thoughts. Great strategy. Onto day 53 for ya!:happy::wd::yay: