Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav, Wag and Pepper
You know, even within an hour of being in that turmoil I was sat there thinking 'How the feck did that just happen? Where did it come from?'
The holidays are coming up here and while there can be temptation I also find my greatest resolve to stay AF is seeing the state people drinking get into - that is a bit selfish but it stands as a stark reminder of where I do not want to go again......
FF and Londoner, well done on coming back - just makes you part of this great team who have all done the same........isn't it comforting to be with people who genuinely know how you feel?
Ava, hope you get your pup back to good health.
Sarah, I look forward to hearing about how your stress reduces after some AF time - it is another one of the great benefits that you don't quite believe will happen until it just does; like hot flushes, shaking hands, panic attacks, rashes, depression - all gone! Who'd have thought?

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

daisy45;1675652 wrote: Hi Lav, Wag and Pepper
You know, even within an hour of being in that turmoil I was sat there thinking 'How the feck did that just happen? Where did it come from?'

Daisy - One thing I read in a sober blog a while back was the idea that when an urge to drink comes, mentally tell yourself, "This a mood, not a decision." In other words, remind yourself it will pass and then give it time to do so.

When I was really struggling this past weekend after my uncle died, I kept telling myself that if I still felt like drinking in an hour, or the next day, or some other time in the measurable future, I would re-evaluate. Invariably, each urge passed far before the future time came.

Thanks again for being so honest and open about your struggles, and kudos again for surfing the urge successfully.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Realisation - a lot of what I do in life, is using temporary 'tools' as methods of not having to deal with real life/emotions.

Whether it is stopping a conversation rudely. Eating. Sleeping. Surfing the web. Drink/drugs.

I need to deal with the truth. And the things listed above actually stop me from growing as a person.

So, it's time to face life.

I'm hoping a more mindful approach, including meditation can be a great tool in recovery.

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

London - Maybe some Zen meditation will help you get some distance/detachment from what you're trying to avoid. When you're tempted to avoid maybe ask yourself why, what are you making so awful? You can also try looking up REBT to help break down that stimulus, pause, response.
As for the neurotransmitters being out of whack that has been something I've been looking into myself. As Wag mentioned both diet and exercise are probably the best ways for us to get them back in line from what I've been reading. Make sure to get your green leafy veg (Serotonin)in as well as some foods with Tyrosine. (Norepinephrine, dopamine and melatonin: Tyrosine is found in soy products, chicken, turkey, fish, peanuts, almonds, avocados, bananas, milk, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, lima beans, pumpkin seeds, and sesame seeds)
Can only share what I've been sorting, my two cents. Been focusing on green leafy veg, yogurt for breakfast and continuing with St. John's Wort. (acts like an SSRI so that more of the feel good Serotonin stays around.) I've been feeling a lot calmer so far. (along with meditation and mindfulness.)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

available;1675559 wrote: One day at a time London is all we can do. I could not get my head around "forever", i could be the only one to successfully moderate and drink. Oh yep right. Us alcoholics cannot ever moderate, we are addicted, plain and simple. At the end of my drinking career i remember staggering into my sons room to ask for a can of bourbon (i hate bourbon) and even in my drunk state i can remember swaying and repeating myself and i was so ashamed and guilty that i could be like this in front of his friends that this was my life. Of course he has forgotten all about that episode but there are many he doesnt forget. so many conversations repeated 10 times by me until they told me to shutup. So much shame and guilt that i could not function, that i was isolating myself more and more so i could drink, losing everything i held dear so i could drink and it didnt make me happy but it did take me to where i did not have to face life. Now i face life every single day and believe me London when (not if) you get to 90+ days you will see the benefits and never ever want to go back. Sure its not easy, its hard, f**king hard, virtually impossible some days but those are the days that you come on here and post, those are the days you stay safe away from al, those are the days you talk to that inner voice that is enticing you to drink and tell it to f**k off. The voice is what you dont give into or you have lost and al has won. If you win against that voice you are winning London. Relapse is about giving in. To me giving up al has taken all my strength and determination and willpower that i have ever had to use. It has taken time, being on here and reading and posting, deciding will i go out and be around al or not. Am i strong enough to do that and deal with al being in my face. if I am unsure the answer will always be no. Changing my routine so that the bottle shops are closed when i went out. Its all about planning so that al doesnt win in the early days. I know you can do 90 days London, when you were on here daily before you found it hard but you also were determined and you can do it again and be proud and happy. To me now al is nothing, i hate al, i hate reading stories on here of what al does to people but i know it can be done as i have done it but i will always be vigilant in this fight. Hes an arsehole and he can come calling at any time.

Ava,
I wish you would tuck this GREAT post into the Tool Box for safe keeping. It says it ALL!
We all think that we are the exceptions!! We are unique and WE can control this, but what is interesting when you see it in the rear view, we are ALL THE SAME when it comes to this!! The voices! Oh, the VOICES!! You have to beat them down with a brick!

I had a drinking dream last night! This time, I fell HARD! I was at a company convention and there were Boston Terrier dogs all over the hotel! (WTH???) Running everywhere! Anyway, I told myself I'd just have a couple of drinks at the bar with my coworkers, the next thing I knew I was red as a beet! Sweating, slurring! I thought, "Holy Spit! I really AM allergic to alcohol!" How was I going to tell my hubs I'd fallen?? It was truly a nightmare!! Gosh, I feel funny today as if I've been given a second chance! It IS nice to know that even in my dreams, having a couple of drinks was NOT worth it!!! Great coogly moogly! Enough to scare a girl straight!!!

Rahul, what a thoughtful and reflective person you have become. It has been a joy to watch you arise from out of the funk you were in!! Keep up the great work!

Ava, our overnight nest mum! You are amazing!!!
I've been trying to get this note out since 10 this morning....work is interfering!!! Hugs to all!! Byrdie

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Ava, I love that post too, it was great!

I feel so much better now, every morning I wake up without a hangover is a joyful occasion! I can't even imagine how crappy I would feel (emotionally) if I fell off the wagon now. It has been over 70 days and I am hell bent on getting to 90 and beyond.

Listening to the Bubble Hour with Dr. John Kelly really helped me because I found out what AL was doing to my brain and why it was so hard to stay quit. The Bubble Hour
Check it out Londoner!
I get urges out of the blue sometimes to drink. It is so wierd and scares the crap out of me. I did have a drinking dream the other night where I woke up and was trying to see if I had that AL taste in my mouth. When I really did wake up I was all messed up and then Totally relieved that I did not drink! There were no Boston Terriers in my dream though

Anyway, love all your posts, back to work.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

wagmore;1675665 wrote: Daisy - One thing I read in a sober blog a while back was the idea that when an urge to drink comes, mentally tell yourself, "This a mood, not a decision." In other words, remind yourself it will pass and then give it time to do so.

When I was really struggling this past weekend after my uncle died, I kept telling myself that if I still felt like drinking in an hour, or the next day, or some other time in the measurable future, I would re-evaluate. Invariably, each urge passed far before the future time came.

Thanks again for being so honest and open about your struggles, and kudos again for surfing the urge successfully.

Wags, this is a great tool and certainly takes the pressure off that moment that seems like we're being sucked into the abyss never to return. Yep, it's that bad sometimes. But just postponing that thought is a great trick! Keep postponing.

Ava, the ugly Al voice is only in us alkies. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It's trying to trick me/us and relapse as you say is about giving into that horrible and deadly idea which is just that.

Daisy, I'm so glad you made it through that tough night. I liked the idea that NS had - if there's anyone else that's close who you can turn to or call. I went through the same thing last friday night, and luckily my husband was with me and stopped me in my tracks. He talked me through it. That saved me from another day 1.

Bydie, sorry you had such a nasty dream. :l

Hang in there Londoner and anyone struggling with the thought of booze tonight. Just do what Wags said. If you feel like it in another hour, then ok. When that hour is up, postpone it again. Eat ice cream! Go for a walk. Watch a funny movie, preferably one that doesn't have alcohol in every scene. Yea, they're hard to come by. Disney movies!

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - sounds like a very strange dream, but at least you didn't really drink!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Checking in earlier tonight, the kids have all gone home

Byrdie, those dreams can really startle you, I know. I think they serve a purpose though & have come to view them as little gifts from the universe!!!

Narilly, glad to hear you are doing so well!

Daisy, j-vo & everyone - stop & take some time when you get 'those thoughts'. Have you eaten, are you tired or stressed out? If we simply pay attention & make sure our basic needs are covered then we can eliminate AL completely. That's what I've been doing for the past 5+ years & it's working!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Fat fella! No need to “lurk shamefaced in the background.” We’ve all been there. I may be pretty new to this site, but I am not new to trying to quit drinking by any stretch of the imagination. Very, very few people are successful on their first (few) attempt(s). Just don’t quit trying to quit!

Londoner, welcome back to you as well. I hope you get the healing time you need to feel alive again. Be good to yourself.

I’ve made it through another day of my taper. Only two left until I’m completely AF. I’m really struggling hard with cravings right now, but am determined to stick it out. Thank you all who have commented on making it through those rough moments. It’s what I need to hear. And great job daisy on making through a tough night!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lost, Great job in sticking to your plan! I am so proud of you! We will get you squared away by next week this time, you will be on your way to a shiny new MOON! (the prize for 7 days)! Keep workin it!

Fat Fella and Londoner... Being embarrassed to participate on a forum for AL abuse because you fail is like rinsing off your car before you go to the carwash! That's what this site is for! No one passes judgement (thank goodness) or I'd have been kicked out a long time ago! Your quit will stick! Settle in and participate! We are so glad you are here! Byrdie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the support everyone....just spent time going over old posts.....need to get in that day 1 mindset where I am desperate for sobriety - I think I got it back! It is easy over time to forget how hellish life was when drinking.
I promised myself I would not let this happen.....i will dedicate tomorrow to putting in more time reading here....days were so easily given up to hangovers before and in the first week I glued myself here.....time to reinforce......giving a day to MWO is giving myself a better chance of living a sober life!
Byrdie, that wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare!
Is there any moment when any of you are brought right back to remembering being absolutely pie-eyed? As strange as this may sound, for me it is sitting on the toilet (can't believe I am writing this!)....
Obviously it is the one place where you go drunk or sober....for me I remember being so drunk and being there trying to focus and thinking of ways to shake myself up to look sober....of course my head would be bopping up and down....couldn't even straighten up at times......maybe I should pee less and often just so I am reminded even more of those moments?!

[bran new day]

Newbies Nest

Hi All . Just a quick fly by to say hi , hope everyone is getting towards where they want to be .
Me ? I'm doin' fine . BND
Day 12 .

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

So Nest, The 4th of July is coming up and that is typically a huge drinking day/weekend. What types of strategies is everyone using to deal with being AF. The "pushers" will be at full strength. No one wants to drink alone. I used to be that person. I would keep Everyone's glass full. Of course mine the fullest. Thinking back to the drunk dumb ass I used to be. God, it makes me sick to my stomach. I lost so much dignity.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer;1675870 wrote: So Nest, The 4th of July is coming up and that is typically a huge drinking day/weekend. What types of strategies is everyone using to deal with being AF.

Great question Cherokeer! I started thinking about this a week or two ago. My city hosts a huge multi-day music festival every 4th of July, and it's one big party. I hate to miss it completely, but cannot go with my usual group due to the peer pressure. I feel strong in my quit, I just don't want to have to explain not drinking probably dozens of times that day.

What I'm gonna do is volunteer for a 4-hour shift at the festival so I can hang out and hear music but with a job to do and with other people who won't be drinking. I get free entry to the festival and know I won't be directly around AL. My pup gets scared during fireworks, so I'll go home at night to be with her.

By next year people will just be used to me not drinking, but for this year, so early in my quit, I decided to set myself up for success. July 4 will be Day 64 for me, absolutely.

One of my friends in another city is also working on staying AF. She found a sober meetup group (meetup.com) that is planning a bbq for the 4th, and she's going to that.