Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Cupcake;1676028 wrote:
On brighter thing, nice day here today. Am in day 10, or 11....was listening to a meditation app last night and fell asleep. Would never have done that with a drink inside me, so things must be slowing up and recovery kicking in a bit.

X

Yes, Cupcake! That's so great! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. That's something to be grateful for. :happy:

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Ever since I came am back from vacation 3 days back I am gone into this irritable mood. Its not that I am depressed or feel low its just my mind is just pre occupied with something. I am getting irritated with small things. Its not anger its not that I am missing something its just that I feel irritated. Stuck in traffic, checking emails, not able to go online. Things that should delight me is not make me so. Yesterday I had a visit from a customer and gave us big order and I was not feeling exited, irritated ! Can't pin point it but maybe I am missing last 3 weeks of travelling and need time to settle down.

I feel there is something in my mind which I want to get rid to feel relaxed. It could be also such a backlog of work, and also the fact that the work is not moving in the pace the way it should ... Like just now while writing saw my kids fighting and it makes me irritated ...

I feel like leaving everything ... Going one on a hike on a beautiful mountain or sitting in a nice coffee shop somewhere is Paris reading a nice book or .... Just now my some came asking me to read a book , same which he read so many times, my first thought how irritating but then I read him ... And came back lifting my tablet and completing this note.

Tomorrow will be a new day ... Better day hopefully ...

[available]

Newbies Nest

A stage Rahul on this journey to be af. There are so many ups and downs and lows and highs with giving up al. Just accept that you are irritable and cranky and it will pass. Some days a person can say "hello" and I am like "mmm why did you say it like that". My moods are slowly evening out and i think experiencing all of these new emotions sober is part of our healing. even if tomorrow is not a better day it will be as you will be sober.

[narilly]

Newbies Nest

Ava, you sure have a way with words. I think its hard to accept that we are irritable and cranky instead of having a glass of wine and shutting the feelings out. Jeez, I thought I was so easy going!

It isn't unlike alcoholism, tho. We KNOW when we drink we are slowly but surely doing the same thing to ourselves. Alcoholic drinking is self destructive in the very same way. I knew every single time I drank what I was doing to myself, but I didn't think I could stop. I found the tools to do that right here in this nest. Alcohol does not improve any situation no matter how sad it is. Hard as it is to believe, it actually makes it worse.

Byrdie, I love this what you said. It is so true.
I have a 17year old and it crosses my mind once in awhile Dila. So many young men are lost to suicide.

I am glad to be here and be sober. I never really 'got it' until now. I really am done with drinking. Funny, I don't want to say I will Never drink again in case I jinx myself! I have been trying since 2000 to stop, off and on of course. Finally, I get it. I think it has something to do with me getting older? I don't know but everyone of you who is struggling, you will get there just keep after it.
Look for progress Not perfection.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Lostinspace;1675817 wrote: No need to ?lurk shamefaced in the background.? We?ve all been there. I may be pretty new to this site, but I am not new to trying to quit drinking by any stretch of the imagination. Very, very few people are successful on their first (few) attempt(s). Just don?t quit trying to quit!
!

So, here I am, quitting, and quitting, and quitting. I had decided to slink away, but I know that's not the smart thing to do. (Thanks for the pm, jvo) I'll keep reading, and posting, til something sticks. I'm with you, FF.

Lost>Hope your tapering is progressing well.

Dila>My heart breaks for your young friend. I know the pain for those left is beyond words, but I think, too, about the pain the young man could no longer bear. How awful all the way around.

Byrdie, Lav, j-vo, Wag, av, everyone> As always, thank you for the continued wise words, the time you put into the nest, and your support.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Juja and others - Please don't slink away. You are a big part of the NN and MWO communities, and we need you! Everyone slips, everyone starts over. Most of us have slipped and started over more times than we could probably count. Some of us will slip and start over again. Something, eventually, will stick for you if you're still struggling.

We are here for you, for one another, no matter what.

:huggy :h

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It is just so unimaginable to think of him as the 6 year old little boy I met and saw grow up playing with my son. My heart is so heavy.

Actually came home tonight with a pounding headache so this will be brief, was on back to back conference calls with no break.

FF - we can do it this time together

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Juja,
Glad you're not slinking anywhere. Being here will keep you thinking about what you need to do and seeing the successes of others may encourage you even more when you're ready.

Rahul,
I think it's ok to have a bad day here or there. Or a cranky day. Why do we always have to have an answer for feeling like poop. Women have way more reasons than men, though! Just sayin! But trying to justify that we're having a bad day is silly because normal, non-alky people have them, people with a thousand other conditions have them. They are a part of life, a part of the range of emotions that we learn to deal with. It may not be because we're going through PAWS or something else. It may be that somebody pissed us off and now we're cranky. That's ok. And if it's just a sad day or feelings of depression, remember that, too, shall pass.

Have a happy, sober night.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Nar,
I'm glad you're hanging out in the NN because you've got lots of great things to say! We can hang out here, too, together.:l Happy 75!!!!:h

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for your kind words. My heart is so heavy thinking of this young man and his family.

I came home with a pounding headache from back to back conference calls so this will be brief.

FF - we can do this together and with the help of the great people here.

juju- don't you dare go away. None of us is perfect. We all have had so many restarts. You will get there. Keep posting your thoughts, it's important. Even if you are not ready to stop drinking be here with us. I see people say they were lurking but did not want to post because they were drinking, I felt the same way. You do not want to disappoint the awesome people here helping others but they all understand. They have been there as well.

Will write more this weekend. Need to take 2 asprins!

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrdie and Ava for you ongoing support and encouragement. And Ava, I had to laugh when you wrote about responding to people’s saying hello with “mmm why did you say it like that.” Even though I’m still tapering, so not yet fully sober, I’m at the end of the taper and nearly AF, and I find myself becoming similarly sensitive. It’s amazing the little cues we can blow out of proportion as reality starts to become clear again!

Fat fella - congrats on day 3! You can do this.

Dila - I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s son. Suicide, in many ways, can be a lot harder to come to terms with than other losses because it’s so hard to imagine how much pain a person must have been in to do something like that. I lost someone very dear to me through suicide when I was 19, so I understand. Allow yourself time to feel and process the sadness and to be there for your friend. I’ll be thinking of you.

Rahul - I hope things settle down for you soon. Coming back from vacation is always hard, but I imagine that being in early sobriety would only make it that much more difficult. And I would echo what j-vo said - we all have cranky days. It's a part of life and it's ok to be irritable now and again. Hang in there.

Juja - I’m glad you decided to come back and keep reading and posting. One of these times it will stick for good. Don’t give up!

Well, I stuck to my taper once again. I can hardly believe it, considering the cravings I’ve been having. One day left, then I’ll be starting an AF weekend.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lost, great news that you are sticking to that plan! So proud of you!

I wish I had been one of ones who could get it right on the first try but I wasnt. The only thing that isnt allowed around here is giving up! Hang in there everyone! Your quit will stick!! Byrdie

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Lost - nice job with the taper. Can't wait to see you post "Day One!"

Rahul - It's good that you are aware of your irritability, noticing it, not necessarily liking it. It's a normal feeling, perhaps especially so after a vacation or while still building your quit (PAWS?). In other words, I'd say it's normal to be irritable at times, with or without reason. It sounds like you don't want to feel that way perpetually, and that's probably a good thing (easier for you and others). For now, I'd say breathe and cut yourself some slack. Keep staying in touch with your feelings, posting them here, and moving through them as best as possible.

Dila - Hang in there. We're all here for you and will look forward to hearing from you when you feel up to it. Big hugs during this difficult time. :huggy

[frances]

Newbies Nest

peppersnow;1675650 wrote: Frances -- I went to Roll Call and was momentarily confused by your 12 Days, which would have been the fastest relapse-slash-recovery I've ever seen on this site! Its been a few days since I was here, but I knew it hadn't been that long -- Although I knew there was NO CHANCE you would relapse on your Day 120, so I added the zero back onto your 12 for you, which somehow was dropped in earlier posts. Because you totally deserve that beautiful zero!!!

Anyway, congratulations for 120 days Frances!!! That's 4 months or 1/4 year with a brand new sober wonderful life! :goodjob:

Thanks for that Pepper! That zero sure does mean a lot to me just like day 12 or 14 or 30 did to me when I hit those

1/4 year - - that sounds nice! OH YEAH!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters,

Hope everyone has a good day - I did

Lis, great job staying on your plan. Stick with us, everything is going to be OK & you will never regret kicking AL out of your life!

Frances, 120 AF days - very nice - Congrats!

Rahul, I won't allow a shitty mood to linger & create problems. Distract yourself in any healthy way you can!

Juja, have you updated your plan? No point in repeating behaviors that keep you stuck

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav