Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Thanks all for the support today is definitely a better day. Its the funk as well as back log of work which makes me like the way I was. Over the week will do something to feel better.

Today I went to a coffee shop and read a book it brought back some old memories of when I was on karlshrue, Germany. Year 2005 : I came for work. Work up in mor Ing alone in a hotel, did meditation, went to city for work by afternoon I sat at a coffee shop reading book alone with a glass of beer.

Today I was doing same thing in my home town except I was having coffee and chocolate mud cake.

I felt connected to myself as if thru time ... And I imagined how my life is Turing out to be different. At that time I was going feeling was the whole life is ahead, career ahead and never though how drinking alone could turn out to be such a big concern. Today I still have a whole life ahead but then there is also a whole lot of past. 0
Past with whole set of regret.

As I was reading the book "Dry - Augustin Burroughs" on my kindle, my mind was moving away from book and gpingg to the past which has a mixture of success (in professional life) and failures and regrets ( in personal life).

I just wonder just wonder for the sake of discussion if I has stopped drinking at those early years how my life could have been different. How having a cup of coffee at that cafe in karlshure instead of beer could have brought me to a different path in my life.

The cheque came and I came back to present going back to the book where the author too was re learning to live life, experience new emotions. I imagine future how great it woukd be with me being sober, how much I can still do more and better in my life. My health for example, with years offp drinking I have tortured my body, my liver and as I am now on path of recovery one thing that still needs improvement is my diet. Diet which still has lot of junk food and now has sugarry foods. Then excercise how much I can help my body recover.

There is so much to do so much to achieve, so many relationships what needs to be rebuilt. Soriety is the first step towards this big change there is LOT more I need to do. Lot more needs to be done so that I feel more responsible, more honest with myself more proud of myself.

I dont know what I just wrote but this it helps to share and it helps to introspect and plan a way ahead ...

Good night

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Thanks all for the support today is definitely a better day. Its the funk as well as back log of work which makes me like the way I was. Over the week will do something to feel better.

Today I went to a coffee shop and read a book it brought back some old memories of when I was on karlshrue, Germany. Year 2005 : I came for work. Work up in mor Ing alone in a hotel, did meditation, went to city for work by afternoon I sat at a coffee shop reading book alone with a glass of beer.

Today I was doing same thing in my home town except I was having coffee and chocolate mud cake.

I felt connected to myself as if thru time ... And I imagined how my life is Turing out to be different. At that time I was going feeling was the whole life is ahead, career ahead and never though how drinking alone could turn out to be such a big concern. Today I still have a whole life ahead but then there is also a whole lot of past. 0
Past with whole set of regret.

As I was reading the book "Dry - Augustin Burroughs" on my kindle, my mind was moving away from book and gpingg to the past which has a mixture of success (in professional life) and failures and regrets ( in personal life).

I just wonder just wonder for the sake of discussion if I has stopped drinking at those early years how my life could have been different. How having a cup of coffee at that cafe in karlshure instead of beer could have brought me to a different path in my life.

The cheque came and I came back to present going back to the book where the author too was re learning to live life, experience new emotions. I imagine future how great it woukd be with me being sober, how much I can still do more and better in my life. My health for example, with years offp drinking I have tortured my body, my liver and as I am now on path of recovery one thing that still needs improvement is my diet. Diet which still has lot of junk food and now has sugarry foods. Then excercise how much I can help my body recover.

There is so much to do so much to achieve, so many relationships what needs to be rebuilt. Soriety is the first step towards this big change there is LOT more I need to do. Lot more needs to be done so that I feel more responsible, more honest with myself more proud of myself.

I dont know what I just wrote but this it helps to share and it helps to introspect and plan a way ahead ...

Good night

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1676395 wrote: Wags,
Part of the beauty of this site is getting opinions about stuff from a detached 3rd party...but that works 2 ways, too, we don't know the whole story, either.

See #'s 2, 4, 5 and 8 above. Don't give away your power. You separated from this person for a reason, and more than likely that reason hasn't gone away. Don't waste time on things you can't control...I imagine this was the maddening aspect of the relationship, WHY THE HECK is he doing ____? Don't yield to the Disease to Please. We are in major warfare here...we are fighting to stay sober and this person is an air assault. and finally, #8, don't make the same mistakes over and over. If this is a toxic person to you, stay the heck away. Time is a real gift here. Try not to be sucked in by anyone else's drama. You have a full plate at the moment and who needs that??

This is my 2 cents from the 'for what it's worth' pile. I wish I could draw a red circle with a slash in it...stay away from anything that jeopardizes YOU and your quit!
Hugs, Byrdie

Thanks Byrdie. After I posted this morning, I started thinking about how your list of things to avoid actually fit really well with my situation. I appreciate you reinforcing that and replying with your two cents It helped me clarify and strengthen my position.

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD so glad you are back and as Daisy said one day at a time in your journey that lies ahead. i cant imagine what you are going through but it has to be sooooo much easier sober and in control. Sending you hugs lovely lady.

juj say no and dont go. Why feel guilty if you dont want to go. if you know you are going to drink then i definitely would cancel. As Byrd says and yourself, you need to protect your quit with your life. he is a grown up and i am sure he will cope. Removing yourself from situations where you know you will drink will get you on the road to sobriety much quicker. i had a needy ex and damn it was draining but the decisions he makes in his life were his own and my decisions were mine. i could not keep looking after his needs when i needed to concentrate on my own.

Well a crappy day in melbourne so just going to think of doing stuff and probably not going to do anything. Being sober is great, i dont feel guilty if i do nothing, when i was hungover i just wished i was capable of the bare minimum of housework but always in bed trying to get over the hangover so i could drive to the bottleshop and start again.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters,

Late, I should be going to bed!
I totally agree Ava, guilt-free lifestyle is awesome

Juja, just remember that you have to be #1!
It's exhausting dealing with someone with BPD, I know from experience. You'll never be able to change his thinking patterns - save yourself!

Chero, I still will not allow people to question me about not drinking - it's none of their business. Sometimes now I just turn the questions right back on them :H You do whatever you feel comfortable doing but just don't allow anyone to throw you off your plan.

j-vo, enjoy your vacation - take pics!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Jo-Vo I hope you have a really lovely holiday. I hope you write all about it on the forum.In my head I have planned a few for when I am better.

Ava Interesting what you said about having a guilt free life. That is something that is so true and I can really relate too. One of the things I am finding really hard at the moment is pain, just to stand up and put my shoulders back hurts, lying down is difficult, getting up from lying down position is really hard. ..... but in addition to all this I have now had a few bursts of intense pain...crying out and swearing level of pain!! I am seeking help for pain relief for when I get those intense bursts, keep going to docs about this and will keep on going until it is sorted! Also have made another appointment with the physiotherapist. It is nice to know this is not my fault, I am taking my medication, doing my exercises (from physiotherapist), reading things that inspire me, keeping in touch with friends and family, walking when I can. Also I am grateful to be out of hospital, grateful for the view from my bed. Also I am eating well.....in short what I am trying to say is that I am doing everything I can to get better.

I stopped drinking a week before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, in the last few months of my drinking the guilt was horrendous, I felt utterly ashamed of myself, disgusted by what I was doing and very trapped. It is lovely to be free of that guilt .

I still feel very trapped but that is cancer not alcohol, also I am trying to free myself by exploring all different options etc. One of the things that upsets me is that I feel I have changed overnight, ever since the surgery I feel I have aged 10 or more years suddenly. I find this hard as normally with the aging process it is a gradual thing, spread out over many years. Overnight I have had a huge loss of mobility, my movement in my left side is now far less than that of my 86 year old mother!!

I do feel fearful, I am trying to hold the fear back, one of the consultants said that my lack of mobility is common for some at this stage. I know in time it should return but it is now one week since my last surgery and I can see no progress in mobility.

The day aftertomorrow I will be two months sober, that makes me happy, also feel confident now that I can be alcohol free for life, these thoughts are empowering.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

So much to reply to, and not enough time....will check back tonight. I'm getting out of town with a friend! Woo-hoo!

Byrd, you asked me the perfect, pointed question about my marriage. Will think about it today.

DD--:l

[Living Life]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking on here for a while now under the name Living Life (I used to go by the name Time To Change, but that was a fair few years ago now)
Anyway, I drifted away from the site but I've never forgotten the help and kindness shown by so many
I'm determined to kick this awful addiction so, I'm back with a new found determination! I'm using the tool box and making a plan - failing to plan was my downfall last time :/
So, I just wanted to say hello and thanks for being here!
I'm going for a dry July, anyone else?

Xx

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD i remember before you gave up al the pain of your posts and the anguish you used to feel, that you were sitting at your computer working and drinking and it was a vicious cycle that you could not break. To see you how you are today makes me smile, that with all that pain you were feeling drinking has gone. The cancer bit sucks big time though but remember you have had a major operation and just like giving up al, the shit does not go away overnight. i have a friend who is a patient at one of the clinics i organise who was diagnosed with anal cancer and he did not want to take any medication when he was in pain until a nurse said to him "honey you have cancer not a bloody headache". he makes me laugh with is attitude although at the moment he is feeling down and depressed and that is okay. Whats not okay is farking cancer but you DD have the attitude and mindset not to be walked over anymore. you are one strong woman who will face your challenges with strength. I have seen that in the last six months of what you have become as a person and i know you will do the same with cancer, you wont give up getting better.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Hi Living, your name rings a bell for me but time flies!. A plan is always good. my plan was coming on here daily or twice a day and saying to myself 'i will not drink for today". Get all al out of the house and change your routine. Eat and eat some more and be kind to yourself for the first few weeks. im right in for dry july and August and September, every month of the year is a dry one for most of us on mwo. We all keep trying.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Thinking of you DD
I know you don't feel great physically but your emotional growth & strength are shining thru. Awesome that your 2 month AF anniversary is right around the corner!!!

Hello & welcome back Living Life!
Hop on the sober bus & ride along with us

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Living Life]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Available
My goal is sobriety... It just seems a little outfacing right now so I'm concentrating on getting through July.
Thanks for the advice, I'm feeling very determined right now

Xx

[Living Life]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lavende,
It's good to be back

Xx

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Well friends, today is my first 30 days. WOO HOO!!!! 30 whole days without AL. I never thought I could go 3 days, I really really didn't. I went back and read my day one post and I was so broken and raw. It made my eyes water how truly at rock bottom I was. I want to thank you nest for your kindness and caring for me at such a time when I was on my knees. You helped me find the strength to put the bottle down forevermore. A special shout out to Birdie, Gracie, Orin, No Sugar, No More Jim, J-VO, Me in, JUja, Pavati, Available, Lavender, Mind, Done for all your encouraging words and support and especially Soapstone-for checking on me and supporting me. I wouldn't be at my first 30 days without all of you. Thank you Thank you

Living Life-Welcome-This is the place to be. Welcome, glad your here.

Wag and J-VO - I am sick of explaining the "but why's" like I am talking to a 2 year old. I can be honest with my close friends and family but people I know but aren't willing to indulge private information to are the most insistent. Why this, why that. I plan on going to the "day party" and then heading over to my "non-drinking" friends house until the hubs is ready to be picked up.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Lavande and samstone damn autocorrect