Newbies Nest

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Me again

Byrdie, I've printed a copy of your 13 strong things, and will keep it by my bed. I've never seen that before, and it's very helpful. I also think it's something that, if read over and over again, could be internalized and become real for those of us who want to be stronger.
Thanks.

XXX Juja

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

I believe it is a slow process for many of us. The first step is being aware of the damage we are causing to ourselves and others through reckless, excessive drinking.

There is a trigger in the process that makes us reach for that first drink.

What is that trigger? Because once it has been pulled we are the mercy of the brain numbing effects of AL.

That is what I am looking into now. The process of relapsing.

What is the void we are trying to fill by drinking? Reality is altered by AL. A reality that does not let us see what we need to see.

Goal: make July better & stronger than June If that means 13 days instead of 12, great. That's progress. Change takes time, energy, commitment. It doesn't happen at once. :l

[Living Life]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

Thankyou Darkest Diamond and Juja for the welcome
Juja, I good you're feeling better today. Much of what you said about the wine box and the prosecco rang true with me. I've always been amazed at the way one day I can have do much resolve to kick this thing and the next, not even hesitate to pick up a bottle?! ... No debate or anything?! It's like my al brain takes over completely. Bizarre!
Anyway, just wanted to check in and say hello day 2 for me and I'm feeling positive today. I've started a new fitness regime in the evenings to distract me from the booze and hopefully replace the habit, in the long run. I've always been a gym goer - I love the gym (when not boozing of course) so I figured I'll set myself some fitness goals for the month of July and through myself into that.

I hope you're all having a wonderful day/night ( it's mid afternoon here in sunny Manchester, uk)
Take care one and all

LL xx

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Juja, yes, every time I break one of those 13 rules I'm mad at myself for doing it, so I've got them printed out, too! They help!

Londoner, congratulations on your 7 days!! A full week= a full moon!
:moon:
Enjoy the view from a sober vantage point!! So proud of you, how right you are that it only takes a couple of AF days for the skies to part and your thinking to clear out. I know it's hard to do when it seems like everyone else is drinking, but I see myself as the Peanut allergy people see themselves...they just can't allow peanuts on board. Period. That attitude has helped me (and helps me avoid the pity parties). GREAT JOB on your 7 days!!

Darkest Diamond, look at you with 60 big days in the bag!
:goodtime: :goodtime:

I am so glad you had a better day yesterday. You are getting stronger each and every day! I'm so glad to hear you had a laugh with your friend! Here's to YOU, and may each day find you feeling better and better! Gentle hugs to you!

Living Life, GREAT to see you on Day 2! You are doing so well! I am happy to see you this morning! Keeping busy is the best way to get thru the new hours you have on hand. Don't forget to eat! (we are used to drinking our meals!) Just rinse and repeat!

I hope everyone has an easy day....remember when you get a thought that AL is a good idea, PUSH IT OUT! Any time you drink you are reinforcing IT. Every drink gives IT more power! Don't do it, starve its food supply! Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF....you will be so glad you did. The only way to break free is to break free! Have a great day! Byrdie

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Living Life and congrats on day 2! You're off to a great start.

Juja - you haven't let me down, or any of the other of us who are just starting back on the path to a sober life. Although I understand feeling this way; I've been struggling the last couple days myself. Whenever you fall, just keep getting back up, dust off your knees and keep on walking. You can do this. :l

Thank you to everyone who responded to me with your kind and encouraging words. I haven't posted the last couple days out of shame. After telling other people not to back away from this community just because they slipped up, I failed to take my own advice. Had I posted yesterday, early in the day, things might have turned out differently. On Friday (which was supposed to be the very last day of my taper), I backslid and drank more than the day before, rather than less. Then yesterday was a total disaster. I started drinking heavily at around 1 in the afternoon and continued on for the rest of the day until I was completely hammered. I'm very disappointed in myself. I was doing so well. I'm not about to give up, though. Today I'm getting right back on track and will finish my taper in the next three days. (I figure that after the last couple of days it would be unwise to just jump straight down to the last day of my taper, withdrawal-wise, so I'll start back with the level I was at on Wednesday). Hope you're all having a great weekend.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Lost>It's okay, we're still here for you, but I understand the dread of coming here and telling the truth. I've found that I get a hand-up in the nest, instead of a finger-wagging, which gives me strength to continue. You have been doing well on your tapering, and you can get back on that path. So, let's get up, and get going. It's a new day.

Londoner>Congrats! Fantastic. Lawdy, lawdy, I want to be there with you.

Living>Yes, it's strange how we pick up the bottle without thinking, even though we come here, make commitments to ourselves and others. All that goes out the window, as if it's a dream. We'll figure it out. Good on the 2 days.

Byrdie>I've read over your list twice already today. I have so many things to work on.

I'm cooking some healthy food, doing a bit of laundry, and will watch the World Cup. It's going to be a good day.

Enjoy your MAE.:l

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Well I'm checking back in ...I made it to 180 days and made the choice to drink . It hasn't gotten out if hand but I'm lying to myself if I think it won't quickly. Hoping to get back in the nest before this relapse turns into 6 months of misery.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1677149 wrote: Well I'm checking back in ...I made it to 180 days and made the choice to drink . It hasn't gotten out if hand but I'm lying to myself if I think it won't quickly. Hoping to get back in the nest before this relapse turns into 6 months of misery.

Plant yourself in here right now! No time to lose.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1677149 wrote: Well I'm checking back in ...I made it to 180 days and made the choice to drink . It hasn't gotten out if hand but I'm lying to myself if I think it won't quickly. Hoping to get back in the nest before this relapse turns into 6 months of misery.

Get back in Track ICan before you forget the progress you made over the last 180 days.

It always starts off 'okay' in our minds, but that okay gradually turns into hell as we need to increase our intake more and more.

:goodjob: on getting back here.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1677149 wrote: Well I'm checking back in ...I made it to 180 days and made the choice to drink . It hasn't gotten out if hand but I'm lying to myself if I think it won't quickly. Hoping to get back in the nest before this relapse turns into 6 months of misery.

Welcome back, Friend :l

Can you tell us about what lead to your choosing to drink? I always try to imagine what I would be thinking while taking that first drink after knowing what I know now. It kind of makes my throat close up just to think about it so I'm really curious about other people's experience.

I'm so glad you came back before this spiralled into weeks or months or more of drinking. Everyone who has big relapses really seems to regret it: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ect-78410.html.

Do you think it would have helped you not make that choice if you participated in MWO every day? I find the comittment to MWO solidifies my commitment to AF living.

Anyway, welcome back. :h NS

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, all! Yes NS I'm sure being more active in MWO would have helped. It was really a lot of different thoughts if that makes sense, I'll try to describe ...I was on vacation for a week and it's typically a drink at the beach all day thing w cousins and aunts etc. anyway I made it fine the first two days - my cousins were pestering me about me not drinking and I was kind of vague bc I only see them rarely and didn't feel need to get into everything ...anyway, by midweek I had all kinda of thoughts like "I'm tired of resisting" "I made 6 months, what can it hurt?""I just want to be normal again" ...I'm sure all thoughts we've all had...it's like I let the guard down ...anyway, idk how else to describe it .... And it really wasn't the "ahhhh" I expected so I'm trying to get back on track ...there's something in my head about "being one if the gang" that keeps me from 100% commitment I think ...not a good excuse but the truth

[moni]

Newbies Nest

I'm back. No point even going into it but it's time to get back on track. Should have stayed off it when I was doing so well.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

I can my exact thoughts when I repalsed last year. Next few months were crazy back to the dungeon ...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back, ALL!
I can only speak for myself, but one of the reasons I stay active in the nest is to help people NOT do what I did! My opinion is that we are at Point A (Alcoholism) and we want to be at Point B (Sober). There are MANY venues you can take! I took about 100 side trips and it made the trip harder, longer, and even more painful! Thru bitter experience, I can tell you that the smartest and most humane way to arrive at your AF destination is to get quit and stay quit! However, I understand the mind chatter and the voices. It is a powerful voice, too. If I had gotten this right the first time, I might not be so empathetic, but it took me many, MANY tries to finally see what I was up against. It is the most relentless, ruthless opponent I have ever faced. I am so glad to see everyone back to take on this battle. You will get it! Once you get knocked out enough times, it will sink in. AL is going to win. i finally did!!!

Welcome back and let's get started! Hugs, all! Byrdie

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1677253 wrote: Welcome back, ALL!
I can only speak for myself, but one of the reasons I stay active in the nest is to help people NOT do what I did! My opinion is that we are at Point A (Alcoholism) and we want to be at Point B (Sober). There are MANY venues you can take! I took about 100 side trips and it made the trip harder, longer, and even more painful! Thru bitter experience, I can tell you that the smartest and most humane way to arrive at your AF destination is to get quit and stay quit! However, I understand the mind chatter and the voices. It is a powerful voice, too. If I had gotten this right the first time, I might not be so empathetic, but it took me many, MANY tries to finally see what I was up against. It is the most relentless, ruthless opponent I have ever faced. I am so glad to see everyone back to take on this battle. You will get it! Once you get knocked out enough times, it will sink in. AL is going to win. i finally did!!!

Welcome back and let's get started! Hugs, all! Byrdie

Byrdie, you are absolutely right. Even though I am not as regular at contributing to the nest as I once was, I still regularly check in and see how everyone is doing.

I understand what ICAN is saying. Normal people (as ICAN put it) just don't get it. I deal with people like this all the time. And it still gets to me. For some reason it upsets them a lot and they believe it ruins their good time. It is such a terrible thing that alcohol is so widely accepted as normalilty. Whats so normal about all the thousands that people spend each year, whats so normal about thousands of people dying as a direct result of incidents involving alcohol, how about STD and pregnancies, fights and murders, deaths by poisoning or organ damage due to al consumption.

I never thought this way until I gave up myself but how does a rational society justify such a high cost for no real gain? It happens through indoctrination. It reminds me a bit of religion. My do muslims not drink? Because its not common in their society. This need to conform has got to stop...