Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Ican welcome back, i am sorry that you drank but i am glad you are back. For me i know i can never ever ever have a single damn glass of wine, ever. Did i say ever? I know once i have the taste i will be gone and the chances of me ever being sober again i feel are slim. I also am still in recovery after nearly 7 months. i still need the support of mwo, i would like to do it on my own but i know the chance of me relapsing are higher if i wander off here. Even after 7 months being af i classify myself as still in recovery and i think a lot of mwoers think that at some point they have "got it in the bag" when in reality beating this addiction to al takes time and energy and it is time and energy that i put in daily to keep me sober. I can never become complacent. Stick close Ican, i did thoroughly enjoy your posts.

Great post and very very true, it took me a few attempts to realise how right what you were saying was but i am so glad i got it.

Moni welcome back to mwo.

Allan, i get so frustrated and angry now about how blase politicians etc are about al abuse, i feel like shouting it from the roof sometimes on how murders, king hits, abuse etc would halve if al was banned, it can never be controlled as they are proving. Give someone a joint and you would never see any of the above happening but the government cant get their taxes from marijuana so lets keep it illegal. Then they sit and scratch their heads and tell us to slow down drinking without any real help. I see a helpline on tv for gambling addiction but never for al. Its the norm to drink but come on mwo and its not farking normal at all for us alkies and imagine how many other people are out there with the same problem that we/do have.

ok rant over, time to work.

Congrats on 7 days London, keep up the hard work, the prize is worth it.

[frances]

Newbies Nest

Well I am glad I checked in here some really good posts and thoughts. Cherokeer so nice to see your excitement and well deserved to for reaching 30 days! Brought back memories and Bydie's prizes are really something to look forward to aren't they? Feel just like a little kid sometimes!

Someone said this is a slow process...well I've been here on MWO on and off since 2008 - I'll say, yes, it's a slow process!! I hope for everyone else that they get there sooner than I have but yes, we all have slips and keep coming back, keep trying, you will get there to the time it sticks and you will be glad you do!

I think the societal condonement/encouragement of alcohol is going to change - we are becoming more and more health conscious and I really think that there will be a time when people look at drinking like smoking...like, really, you are going to give yourself that poison??!! I hope I am alive to see it. Maybe wishful thinking but I do think it will happen.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

That's right frances - we are becoming a more health conscious society & poisoning ourselves with AL just doesn't fit on anymore - thank goodness

Welcome back ICan, Moni! You both know what you need to do so please settle in & get comfy.
We are the new 'normal' so forget what the rets of the world is drinking. It's their problem, not ours

Glad to see the nest is as busy as ever!
It helped me get to where I am today & I'll never forget!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Hi all- just been reading tonight and reflecting.

The beauty of this forum is that I can see a little of myself in everyone here.

I get the disappointment, the elation, the in-between, the fear, the what-ifs?, the judgment from family, the pressure from family/friends, the dates, the long-time friendships, the break-ups, the support, health conditions, and regrets.

That's a long laundry list of things to deal with including just concentrating on AF. But that is what we are to do -right?

Sounds so easy to others who don't suffer from what we do- AND they all think they have the answer.

I say we all stay close to the nest as I think we are the only ppl who truly understand what we are going thru. Work our way thru....

It only takes one moment or thought to send us down the rabbit hole. But, it takes a lifetime of commitment to succeed. That's a pretty big pill to swallow.

For those who are racking up the days and doing this- I salute to you- as you are 'warriors' in my eyes. I thank you for sharing your experiences and your triumphs and failures in hopes to help everyone here- including me.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Sarah

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Hi all- just been reading tonight and reflecting.

The beauty of this forum is that I can see a little of myself in everyone here.

I get the disappointment, the elation, the in-between, the fear, the what-ifs?, the judgment from family, the pressure from family/friends, the dates, the long-time friendships, the break-ups, the support, health conditions, and regrets.

That's a long laundry list of things to deal with including just concentrating on AF. But that is what we are to do -right?

Sounds so easy to others who don't suffer from what we do- AND they all think they have the answer.

I say we all stay close to the nest as I think we are the only ppl who truly understand what we are going thru. Work our way thru....

It only takes one moment or thought to send us down the rabbit hole. But, it takes a lifetime of commitment to succeed. That's a pretty big pill to swallow.

For those who are racking up the days and doing this- I salute to you- as you are 'warriors' in my eyes. I thank you for sharing your experiences and your triumphs and failures in hopes to help everyone here- including me.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Sarah

[Living Life]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday morning everyone!

I haven't got time to read through all the lovely new posts yet, just wanted to check in on my day 3 and say hello. Feeling good today after a booze free weekend, the sun is shining here in Manchester and I have a busy, and hopefully, productive day ahead
Just watered my herbs which seem to be doing really well in the weather, I kind of feel they're a symbol of me if that makes sense?! I've grown them from seed and I feel if they're doing well, then do can I
Have a great AF day all! I'll check in this evening to catch up on posts.

LL xx

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Ican and Moni, welcome back......I find after time away from here and then coming back feels like 'coming home' - somewhere safe where you don't need to say it all because there is an unconditional love and understanding......settle in and let's get this thing done!
I am day 49 today and so looking forward to tomorrow.....
Feeling and looking better - starting to take more care of myself. I have noticed little things that need extra care - my hair was in bad condition, teeth needed extra attention, weight was creeping up.....things that in the fog of alcohol would have just progressed in the wrong direction.
Now sober, sorting these little things out not only is good for your general health but the feel-good factor.
Looking and feeling better mentally and physically are a real incentive to keep sober ......
Have to say we are having the best weather here too - an added bonus! Sorry Ava, I know you are a tad cold right now.....

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Morning to everyone,
Thank you to Byrdie for my 2 month award, went to an AA meeting last night to pick up AA 2 month chip which was nice too. I like recognition of achievement!
Sarah 42 interesting that you use the word "warrior" in relation to alcohol, I don't feel I am fighting, I feel as if I have surrendered..... surrendered to the fact that drinking is no longer part of my life.
Living Life know exactly what you mean about the herbs, I feel like that about some plants that I have planted. I like watching them change during the seasons and do feel in a way that they symbolise my growth.
Daisy Interesting what you said about teeth and hair. I let my hair grow rather too long, split ends etc. Before I have chemotherapy I will have a short haircut, then when it starts to fall out I will have it shaved off. After chemo I will really nurture it as it grows.I neglected paper work during my drinking and am trying to catch up with that. Also one day I will tidy the inside of every cupboard, not yet as that would be physically painful at the moment. However even being sober for the rest of my life I reckon many of my cupboards will remain untidy!!!

Feel depressed at the moment as have been in considerable pain and feel I am achieving very little each day, also I think I am perhaps using the pain as an excuse for not doing some things that I should be doing!! So today I am going to do some work, my boss has been fantastic given me as much time off as I need, so has my doctor (GP), I agreed to do some work at home, I should have done it before surgery, but put it off, so am going to start today doing it, even if I just do a little each day. Procrastination has always been one of my failings! Whenever I procrastinate about things I cause myself a lot of stress.

Hope everyone is having a productive day,
xxxx

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all

DD>So, you haven't been very productive? Good heavens, girl! What in the world do you expect from yourself? You've had major surgery! You're in pain! Give yourself a break, sweetie. Also, I think it's ok to wallow in your funk for awhile, just don't let it consume you and become the norm. And, maybe you can do one or two things today to lessen your stress about the paperwork and procrastination. It isn't necessary to do it all, just don't let it be a zero day.

Daisy>I've let myself go, too. I've canceled 3 dental appts because I couldn't deal with doing one more thing, I don't exercise, and I don't eat the healthiest diet. Sigh. I looked in the mirror last night, and thought I didn't look too bad, actually I looked better than I have for awhile, so that's a plus. We'll get there, we'll get there. Everything in small steps.

I have a long list of things to do today, but I'm not going to push it as that's when I get in trouble. For me, AL=slow down, stop the busyness. I need to be deliberate in my actions, and not frantic. Mindfulness, I suppose.

Have a good one.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sarah, once I decided to commit myself to an AF life the battle ended, really. Who wants to spend the rest of their life in fighting mode? Not me!!! It truly is much easier when you get yourself to the point of acceptance that AL will no longer be in your life

LL, great on getting to day 3!!! Soon you will have a full week free!!!

Daisy, awesome on your progress as well!
Make this your last & forever quit

DD, being able to work from home is great. Once you get into the habit & discipline yourself a bit I'm sure you will find yourself productive. Procrastination has always been a big problem for me too & I have my own small business I run from home!!! I hope your day goes well for you!

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!!!

Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Checking in... Thanks for the support and love as always . Reminds me of a Dr Seuss book I used to have called The Best Nest.... Where the bird thought she hated her nest and flew around looking for a new nest only to end up back in the same old nest happily . Day 180+1

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back to the nest Ican and Moni. Always room for a few more.

DD - Pain can be exhausting in and of itself, physically, mentally and emotionally. Be kind and patient with yourself, focus on nurturing and nourishing yourself at this time. Maybe set small goals with tasks, as getting at least one little piece done every day may actually boost your overall mood, which in turn helps your body deal with the pain and also heal.
Continued hugs to you!

Sarah - I really liked your comment about seeing parts of yourself in the various nesters - definitely one of the many beautiful things about this place!

Daisy and Juja - great comments about how our bodies reflect our overall health and wellness. This was a big part of what finally made me stop drinking (felt and looked like crap), and I'm so happy that I'm already looking and feeling better. Can't wait to see how much more that will improve in coming months.


After reading a lot of the recent posts, I've been reflecting on how going AF really makes us confront other parts of ourselves that we have been ignoring, neglecting, pretending didn't exist, or remaining unaware of. For me personally, among other things, I am facing a somewhat new awareness that I care way too much about what other people think.

When you think about it, no wonder this path feels so hard at times - we're facing and trying to work on ourselves while at the same time giving up the crutch or coping mechanism we've habitually turned to for years or decades. It is a lot, but it can be done (look at all the fantastic examples here on MWO!), and we'll all be stronger, healthier, more complete people.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, All!
AllanKay, gosh, it is always great to see you! You are coming up on 2 years Sept 1, right? Gosh, I remember the day you flew in! I agree with you about AL sales...it really is amazing that it is all legal, there's BIG money in it, too. We all know what happened when they banned it in the early 1900's. So the way I see it, it all boils down to supply and demand, knowledge and power. The more mankind learns about what AL does to a person's physical and mental state, maybe the more they will choose NOT to consume it. I think Lav is right, I believe we are at the pinnacle of this thing...truth be told I imagine that there are more AL Abusers out there than anyone realizes. I mean, just look at how many people check onto this site every day...approaching 3000! I think that we are going to realize what a massive problem it is and hopefully, teach prevention about it. We are ahead of the curve!
Soft Focus, great to see you!
DD, be kind to yourself, you are healing in so many ways! Thinking of you!!
Hope everyone has an easy day!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1677420 wrote: Morning, All!
AllanKay, gosh, it is always great to see you! You are coming up on 2 years Sept 1, right? Gosh, I remember the day you flew in! I agree with you about AL sales...it really is amazing that it is all legal, there's BIG money in it, too. We all know what happened when they banned it in the early 1900's. So the way I see it, it all boils down to supply and demand, knowledge and power. The more mankind learns about what AL does to a person's physical and mental state, maybe the more they will choose NOT to consume it. I think Lav is right, I believe we are at the pinnacle of this thing...truth be told I imagine that there are more AL Abusers out there than anyone realizes. I mean, just look at how many people check onto this site every day...approaching 3000! I think that we are going to realize what a massive problem it is and hopefully, teach prevention about it. We are ahead of the curve!
Soft Focus, great to see you!
DD, be kind to yourself, you are healing in so many ways! Thinking of you!!
Hope everyone has an easy day!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

Yes, Byrdie prohibition was a failure. The best weapon is ridicule. This may sound harsh but if drinkers become a laughing stock then it will eventually go away. For example adults who believe in Santa are made fun of, so it is rare to see an adult to still believe in him. The KKK almost disappeared because an insider copied all of the secret handshakes and passwords and put them into a superman cartoon. The senior members felt so embarrassed that the KKK fell apart. There are countless other examples, including tobacco, which is being weeded out in the Western World. I think the same approach should be made towards alcohol consumption. People should be shamed and laughed at, for endangering their own life and life of others. Only then it will no longer be the norm. It will be easier for us to live with and save countless from the new generation that will never adopt AL as a common recreational drug.

Because at the moment drinking equates to coolness, like tobacco used to be. Every Monday you hear stories about how everyone got drunk, or at the very least includes some form of alcohol. And they always say the same stupid thing "An interesting story has never begun with I didn't drink". All people nod their heads in agreement.

Opinions?

Allan

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1677457 wrote:
Because at the moment drinking equates to coolness, like tobacco used to be.

Good to see you, Allan.

I believe this is slowly changing. More and more people are proud non-drinkers, with some of them being people who never drank at all. I don't think the pendulum is swinging quickly but I do think it's moving! It is especially encouraging to hear about the people in their 20s who have no interest in drinking.

I like looking at these lists and see who among people I admire are on "our team" :

28 Celebrities Who Have Admitted They Don't Drink
List of teetotalers - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In the first couple months after I quit, I was binge-watching West Wing. Every time Rob Lowe was on camera, I would think, If he doesn't need it, neither do I! Now when I see Bradley Cooper in a movie, I think about that, too.

Anyway, there's hope!

(I didn't know that about the KKK :H!).