Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wag, my motivator was & continues to be my grandkids!!!!
I wanted/needed to be a healthy , happy & sober granny when the first one was born 5 1/2 years ago. I consider him to be my best friend forever

Lis, I promised myself that I'd never set foot in a liquor store again too. And I can honestly say I haven't!!!! Great that you are doing the same, Stay close to the nest now

BND, recognizing those triggers & planning how you will handle them differently in the future is how you get this job done - good for you!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Newbies Nest

BND great work on recognising your trigger. My anxiety was through the roof just before i stopped drinking and i was starting to pop xanax everyday which i did not want to do as i knew they were so addictive. Now i have not taken a xanax since April although crowds set me off with my anxiety, so avoidance of crowds is a bonus. So happy you didnt drink.

Lav, im sober waiting for those grandkids, they will never know the drunken person i used to be.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Evening, all:

Nice post, Wags. I have always thought that I would love paddling as I love the water, boats, and team sports. I can't see clear to go three days a week for that long, though.

My motivation is my kids. I am by far a better, more patient parent since I quit. I now have a teenager who goes out at night, and I am always able to go pick him up when he needs - I am always present. As for my health, I have had lifelong heartburn that went away, and I got to stop taking my blood pressure medicine. My sleep is SO much better, and my anxiety reduced. There is NO reason to go back! I just had one of the best weekends with absolutely NO alcohol. I laughed so much my stomach muscles hurt. I can also thank quitting alcohol for losing weight and people telling me I look great. Whoo hoo!

Ava! 7 months is amazing, and I agree with Byrdie - you offer so much honest support around here - I put you in the Nest Mum category for sure. Way to get over the hump in such a gracious way - and thanks for being there for all of us.

Petrel - Can't wait to hear about the marathon. Good luck!

LIS - Keep at it - you're almost clear of the beast and then you can start healing.

I had a very lazy vacation day - jammies until 11:30 and then watched the World Cup with friends (a great game, but a bummer for US fans!).

What are everyone's plans for the Fourth of July holiday, those of you in the US. It is a big drinking weekend, and we need to make sure we have everything we need in place to STAY SOBER! We are having a party that includes a lot of kids - no pressure to drink, and I will have plenty of my favorite Hibiscus iced tea on hand.

xo
Pav

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Pav, Lav, Juja, Wag and Rahul. Thanks for the support! It's approaching quickly and I'm very excited.

wagmore;1678029 wrote:

Do other people have similar things that serve as both motivators and rewards? Things that they love to do so much that not drinking is a small price to pay for the joy of what you get to do instead? I'm amazed at how much this is helping me, and I'm grateful that I found it.

Wag, mine is obviously running. It has always been part of my life, but has proven to be an extremely powerful tool in beating AL and improving my life and happiness in general. I cannot recommend physical activity strongly enough. It's a win in every respect.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

I apologize in advance, as I need to read back, but had an issue today I must share.

During my Dr appts about DT's and anxiety, of course I emailed my Mom to let her know what was going on.

She gave her typical rendition, but her first question to me was "did your hubby go with you?". Like I'm some sort of a child who needs my hubby to be my salvation. She acted the same way with my first hubby who cheated on me and literally stole my child one night and wrecked the car with him in it. Could have killed him.

Regardless of what everyone might say, I have never been so reliiant on AL that I have ever done anything unresponsible or otherwise in my daily activities.

Anyway, long story short it pissed off my hubby. He says he doesn;t want to do T'giving with the family or Christmas (we are supposed to host Christmas this year). He said he is 'done' with my parents. or, he said, he will tell them exactly what he thinks of them.

In a way, I think he's wonderful for defending me, but on another note...well it;s my family.

Yes, two psychologists have told me I need to leave my parents, but it's my parents.IDK what to do at this point.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sarah, I really don't know what to say to you except that I hope you can move past your need for approval from others in your life. Your parents & your husband both seem to be causing a lot of conflict for you. We are approaching July 4th here & you are already worrying about the winter holidays. Focusing on today, one day at a time really helped me sort things out. Focus on getting through today in the happiest & healthiest way possible for you!!!

I am taking full advantage of my freedom today & will be getting out for some exercise, run some errands & meet a few old friends for lunch. It's so wonderful to be free of addiction & the accompanying anxiety & guilt. This AF life has been a real gift to myself & you all can have it too

Byrdie, I'm watching weather reports & hoping you are out of the way of the hurricane coming up the coast!!! Be careful!!!

Have a great AF Hump day everyone!

Lav

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Pav and Lav - Children and grandchildren are great motivators! The knowledge that by not drinking you are able to enjoy them and be present, but also that you are available on a moment's notice to pick them up or whatever, is very powerful. Thanks for sharing what helps keep you going!

Sarah - So sorry to hear about the difficulties with your parents and husband right now. I agree with Lav about trying to move beyond needing approval from others, but honestly I struggle with the same thing. It seems especially hard with parents, or at least I will say that is true for me. My mom passed away a few years ago, but I still consider how my dad will react to various things. Can you talk with either parent re: how their comments make you feel?

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Thanks all for the congrats yesterday - had trouble signing in last night....
Wag, I also find exercise great....it helps in so many ways. There is nothing like a good session to lift your spirits. You actually feel like doing more, the more you do. Good for mood, skin, weight....
Heading shopping with my sister today - have an evening wedding reception on Friday so gonna look for something nice....
I am finding with more AF time I care less about what others think of me.....their opinion is none of my business...easier said than done, I know, but it is a frame of mind that I am consciously trying to adopt.
Motivation can come in so many forms - increasing finance, family, health, love.....I say whatever works, use it!
Have a good day all - will check in later

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
So good to see everyone!
Lost, we are right beside you today!! There is strength in numbers, USE US!!! Hugs to you.
Sarah, as you may know, MY family is freaking NUTS! ALL of them! I don't know how I came out so normal (and I'm a flipping Alcoholic!!!). All I can say is that as your dependence from AL is reduced, so will your need for approval by others. It all seems to be interdependent. As I broke free from AL, I became more confident and self reliant!! At long last, I could actually depend and trust myself! I just have to take my family in limited doses and NEVER all at once. My coping skills are just much better now. What Lav says is word, take it a day at a time and first things first. It was a rather sad day when I realized that my dad and my big brothers weren't the larger than life people I imagined them to be. They have (had) major flaws just like everybody else. Just because they said to do something doesn't mean I have to do it...they will suck the life out of me if I let them. So I don't let them. Like Daisy says, I care less and less what other people think these days and I care a LOT about what I think! Getting AL out of our lives is empowering in more ways than I'd have ever thought! You should try it!! Like today!!! Don't be scared, it is actually a relief to be free of the dam stuff! We are pulling for you!
Petrel, good luck with your marathon! Makes my knees ache to think about it!!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters all the way from Mexico,
I have been absent in the nest due to vacation but will be back to full participation next week. Hope everyone is doing well. If you ever thought going on vacation was impossible without booze, I'm here to tell you as Rahul did that it's not moly possible but delightful and relaxing. Usually on vacation I do a number on my body and it's very important organs. I go home feeling like death. Not so this time. I'm staying in a beautiful resort and although there are bars and drinks everywhere I'm hydrating with only good al free drinks. I've been participating in yoga and beach aerobics. Pool aerobics, line dancing, and my most fun discovery which is kyacking. The food is awesome and having a clear head and no worries of doing anything stupid is great. I've seen some drunk people but not many. So glad to report that I'm on day 93 and knowing this is possible is such a relief. You all cam do it too!!! Will post next week but until then, have a super sober week and, yes! You can do it too!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Good for you J-vo! So glad you are really enjoying your holiday.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,

Good to see such positive posts especially about what motivates you to stay sober ... For me it's every damn thing. Imagine you are wearing dark glasses everyday and night. During day your colors are distorted. You can't see details of roses or colors of sky. At night and you are trying to see stars. You can't see them and you look away you star at boring traffic lights. You do this every day for years. Then one day someone comes and tells you hey remove the glasses ... You notice nights are soooo bright days are great too ... You see stars same stars you completely forget about ! Blueness of sky, green grass and all beauties of life. But yes in this world kids enjoy a special place and they are my motivators.

Today I went to see movie with the guys ! I am a sci if buff .... Saw Transformer .. 3 hours of torture I must say ... Their reaction after the movie ... "I need a drink" ... ! Lol ... Here is goes again ... Dinner and diet coke, bit of chat and back home ... Posting before I go to sleep ...

J-vo, I have such great memories of sober vacations ... I feel so grateful for being able to experience them they way I did it ... I am so glad you are having a great time. I have never been to Mexico but would love to come there some day love the food ... And used to love margaritas (lol won't tough it again though ,,, Haha )

[available]

Newbies Nest

Daisy good for you, you deserve a treat for the wedding, make it expensive. I, like you dont worry about what people think of me anymore, i didnt like me drunk so now i am sober i am liking me and that is the most important aspect of being sober, liking ourselves.

Rahul, i also notice the days and the sun and hear the birds (instead of wanting to shoot them due to a hangover). Driving to work is not fun but i notice everything now whereas before i was too hungover and just concentrated on getting to work without hitting anyone. And its great when you do think you will have something with a drink and just laugh instead of getting intense cravings and a need to fulfill that. Its good to laugh, we didnt have much to laugh about when drinking.

Take care all and be strong. Lost how are you going?

Jvo so proud of you and holidays are fantastic sober, the build up is a killer but when we realise that we dont need al in our lives to be happy then it all falls into place.

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Ava, Wags, Lav, Pav and Byrdie for the encouragement. And you're right, Ava. That AL voice really is like a nagging toddler. I just need to keep correcting its outbursts until it learns that I won't give in to its demands!

Wags - the paddling sounds like so much fun. I've kayaked a few times and loved it. I hope to find something similar as I regain my health. I think physical activity (and doing something you love, not just exercising for the sake of getting exercise) sounds like a great motivator for staying off the bottle.

j-vo - so happy to hear you're having such a relaxing AF vacation. It must be nice to actually enjoy and remember the whole trip (and all the extra time you get from not being in a fog and/or blackout, and recovering in bed from the damage you've done to yourself, probably makes the trip feel a whole lot longer). Enjoy the rest of your trip!

I'm very happy to report that this is my first day AF - finally! And I'm pretty confident the next four days will also be AF. My husband and I leave early tomorrow morning to go nine hours south of here to attend my cousin's wedding. I already bypassed my only opportunity to stock up on booze before the trip - the time I have to wait in between the bus that takes me from work to downtown (where the liquor stores are), and the bus that takes me from downtown back home. And no, there's pretty much no chance of me drinking at the wedding, as tempted as I might be. A lot of my family will be there. They all know I'm a raging alcoholic. I've always gotten through family visits by hiding my drinking in the past - sometimes successfully, other times not so much. Now, the only alcohol around will be right out in the open at the reception. Little chance I'll be touching that!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Wayhay Lostinspace - you are on your way!