Newbies Nest

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

Thanks so much to everyone for the well wishes. It does feel good to have successfully finished my taper and be able to join you all in the world of full reality. A little scary for sure, but I will do what I have to do to stay on course. I will definitely be keeping close to this community. You guys are all so wonderful. :l. And no Ginger, I don't have anyone that I PM. Thank you for the invitation to do so.

Congrats on 7 months Pav! That's awesome!

Juja - I'm sorry to hear that we won't be hearing from you for a while. I know how hard it is to get to that point of really making a commitment to quit. I've been working on it off and on for years. Please don't stray too far from this community. If you feel you must just lurk and learn for a while I understand. But don't be afraid to post now and again, even if you're not sober. I know the support I've gotten from this community has helped me to solidify my commitment.

My husband and I are on the way down to my cousin's wedding now. Having my iPhone will allow me to stay connected while I'm away. Not to sound like an old fart, but isn't technology amazing? Years ago, people didn't have the ability to be part of such a wonderful community like this. Today will be day 2 for me. I'm kind of relieved that I'm getting out of town (without the usual stockpiles of vodka and bourbon I would have hidden in my luggage). At this early stage in the game, I think the change in scenery, along with the lack of liquor, should make it a lot easier to stick to my goal. And by the time I get back to my normal routine, I'll be starting on day 6 AF. Well, enough out me. I hope you all have a great day!

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Sarah - I really feel for you with your current situation, especially the part with your parents. In reality, detaching from what they think is probably a healthy thing for you to do, but I do believe this is especially challenging when it comes to parents because there are so many complexities involved in parent-child relationships, even after the children have long been adults.

LIS - Wish you all the best for the wedding weekend - you sound strong!

Juja - I'm very sorry to hear of your decision to pull back and lurk for awhile. I really appreciate your contributions and I support all of your efforts, whether you've been able to hold onto your quit or not. Although none of us has been in your exact shoes, the voices you hear on here urging you to stand firm and fight for your life are speaking from experience and from the perspective and clarity of being AF.

I do agree with NS and others - I encourage you to make the best decisions you can while they are still yours to make. If there is anything I can do to better support you during this difficult time, please PM me and let me know - I'm here.

:huggy

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

I can really relate to Juju's post, as I've been in the same start - stop - start - stop - start - stop (well, you get it) situation for a very long time. I keep track of my drinking in a calendar (as I'm sure a lot of you do), and I must admit, I've had many more days sober than drunk in the past year. HOWEVER, those drunk days have been REALLY BAD. So, even though I see several strings of sober days (and I am proud of that), I am not finished until I see NO MORE drunk days.

The point I'm trying to make is this. Even though I've won a few battles in this war, the war is not over until the battles are all over. It may take a gazillion times of starting and stopping, but I CANNOT give up or tell myself that I'm just not ready. Life is short. If I'm not ready now, when will I be? When I'm 70? When I'm dead? I want my life back, and I want it back now.

The time is NOW, and like someone said, what better way to celebrate Independence Day than by being independent and FREE from the damn beast??!!

Day 10 and looking ahead with a positive outlook. I am taking the sober road....

[paulywogg]

Newbies Nest

Sarah,what's DT's?

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

I lurked on this site for a LONG time. First it was to check it out because a friend said she was here - I was a LONG way from finally admitting I had a problem, but if I look back on it, it was my first step toward sobriety. I never had the guts to log on until I felt committed, and when I finally did I said I was committed but in my head it was just for 90 days so I could "clear up" until I could drink again moderately. The last year before I quit I was setting all sorts of rules for myself. I'd follow them for a while, and then I'd break them and break them HARD. My last year of drinking, while there were more non-AL days than in years past, were the worst in my drinking career. I got more drunk more easily, and, to paraphrase Robin Williams, I violated my standards faster than I could lower them.

It was such a RELIEF to finally come here with my soul flayed open, admitting that I could no longer drink, and asking for help. It was such a RELIEF to not have to worry about how much, when, how, with whom I would drink. To not have to hide the amount by buying more from different stores, mixing the bottles around. One of my biggest obstacles was the idea of accepting powerlessness over alcohol - too hard for a woman who believes herself to be powerful! How I got around that (thanks to LC) was to understand the idea that I am VERY powerful over alcohol as long as I don't drink it. Once I have a sip, I relinquish my power, and the substance takes control.

Please, please, please don't give up on yourselves. I know I recommend it too much and sound like a broken record, but especially for you women - listen to the Bubble Hour. Especially the one with John Kelly explaining the science behind addiction. You can click that link or find the podcast on iTunes or through the Podcast app on a smart phone.

We are literally in a fight for our lives against a powerful and dangerous drug. Find all the ideas you can to help you make that commitment to stay sober - read, read, read, listen, watch videos, call a friend, go to a meeting - whatever it takes. As for health - I stopped taking my high blood pressure medicine that I had been taking for 8 years! I thought I was just genetically pre-disposed too HBP, but it was the ALCOHOL that caused it.

OK - off my soap box now. I hope you don't leave, Juja. I hope you continue to look for ways to make the commitment to set yourself free. It is SO worth it.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

I lurked on this site for a LONG time. First it was to check it out because a friend said she was here - I was a LONG way from finally admitting I had a problem, but if I look back on it, it was my first step toward sobriety. I never had the guts to log on until I felt committed, and when I finally did I said I was committed but in my head it was just for 90 days so I could "clear up" until I could drink again moderately. The last year before I quit I was setting all sorts of rules for myself. I'd follow them for a while, and then I'd break them and break them HARD. My last year of drinking, while there were more non-AL days than in years past, were the worst in my drinking career. I got more drunk more easily, and, to paraphrase Robin Williams, I violated my standards faster than I could lower them.

It was such a RELIEF to finally come here with my soul flayed open, admitting that I could no longer drink, and asking for help. It was such a RELIEF to not have to worry about how much, when, how, with whom I would drink. To not have to hide the amount by buying more from different stores, mixing the bottles around. One of my biggest obstacles was the idea of accepting powerlessness over alcohol - too hard for a woman who believes herself to be powerful! How I got around that (thanks to LC) was to understand the idea that I am VERY powerful over alcohol as long as I don't drink it. Once I have a sip, I relinquish my power, and the substance takes control.

Please, please, please don't give up on yourselves. I know I recommend it too much and sound like a broken record, but especially for you women - listen to the Bubble Hour. Especially the one with John Kelly explaining the science behind addiction. You can click that link or find the podcast on iTunes or through the Podcast app on a smart phone.

We are literally in a fight for our lives against a powerful and dangerous drug. Find all the ideas you can to help you make that commitment to stay sober - read, read, read, listen, watch videos, call a friend, go to a meeting - whatever it takes. As for health - I stopped taking my high blood pressure medicine that I had been taking for 8 years! I thought I was just genetically pre-disposed too HBP, but it was the ALCOHOL that caused it.

OK - off my soap box now. I hope you don't leave, Juja. I hope you continue to look for ways to make the commitment to set yourself free. It is SO worth it.

xo
Pav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Roonie
with that determined attitude, there's only one way .... steady and upwards. There are lots of good posts here today with sound advice. I like the thought that Mick posted in the monthly abstinence thread "doesn't matter whether you're celebrating 2 years or 2 hours"... The point is you keep trying and if keep trying, one day will click to another to another. Start small and be grateful for every sober moment that you've had. Don't look too far ahead and don't look back, that is precisely what ol man booze wants...

Pav, I'll have to take a look see at John Kelly. Thanks for the link.
Sam

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Ju Ju and Sarah 42

Greetings to both of you,
Ju Ju
I would echo what others have said "Stay and post" I struggled for months and at times years with alcohol, you don't need to make a hard and fast decision not to post. For me posting about all my failed attempts to stay sober helped me to finally think "That's it, I've had enough." I did have some times when I just lurked so I do understand your thinking on this, if you don't post perhaps you can pm others.... have you tried AA? For me that helps from time to time but I cherry pick my meetings and take away what I like about it (I do not embrace the whole philosophy of AA)... but I do like some face to face contact.

Sarah 42
Sorry you are having those problems with your mother, it is shocking to think you are having DTs and she is not concerned. I would be terrified if I had DTs as can't they lead to seizures? I hope your doctor is looking after you well.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys - just checking in. The concert is fast approaching and as always, the closer you get to the actual event the more your brain wants to trick you into drinking.

It's doing it's best tonight to tell me to get wrecked to take the edge off of it. But, that's not reality. It's taking me away from reality and progress.

So it will be a test. I have to be there. We will see come Sunday morning how I feel

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Londoner, hang in with us....there are ALWAYS going to be concerts you have to go to.. always life situations you are going to have to face, please don't give in to this beast! It is 1000 times easier to keep the quit you've got than to start over. You KNOW that. You know that getting up after a fall gets HARDER, not easier (see what's been written about KINDLING). Keep your resolve, you have to beat this thing and now is the time! Hold on with all you've got you will be so proud of yourself for putting in the work. It's not always easy but it is always worth it.
Byrdie

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
What a lot of great posts and support here today. I have been lurking for a long time, mainly posting with the Loamers. I'm another who has been trying here for 3 years to get this af way of life/mindset to click. I have had some big clicks and a lot more sober days than I would have had on my own. It has taken me sooo long to figure out that these struggles are sometimes part of the journey. I always felt so bad about myself that I couldn't get it right--I would get a good week or a month or a couple of months or 4 months and then decide that I could try to moderate, or be depressed and say f*** it. Then I'd get up the guts to come back here to try again and try again and try again. I don't know what my point is exactly. I guess that we just can't give up because at some point it will REALLY click. I have stupidly had to prove to myself what everyone here (especially Byrdie!!:h) has already said--it does get harder every time we decide to drink to stop again. I don't know why I have had to test it. I was starting to think that I'm stupid, or one of the sorry few who never get it. But I don't think so. I refuse to think so. I have never had as hard a time getting back to quitting al as this time--I would never wish it on anyone and I never want to go back there again and this time I will do whatever it takes and for much longer not to have a repeat of the past 5+ months.
I'd like to find a branch again and get cosy here.

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Hi again

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lifechange and Quest! Welcome back! This is the best place I know to get your mind right! We are so glad you are here! LC, as you know, it took me a while to learn, too, but even I finally did! i gave it all I had, literally!

We are so glad you!re here!!! B

[Lostinspace]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd - That's a great start back with 10 days! I think most, if not all, of us have been through that start - stop - start - stop cycle. You have a really great attitude about everything, though. Your drunk days may have been worse this last year than they have been in the past, but the fact that your sober days greatly outnumber your drunk days shows real progress. You should be proud of that. It's good to see you're so determined to stay the course.

Sarah 42 - DD is right. I've experienced DTs a few times in the past, with terrifying hallucinations and very bad tremors. The DTs were ALWAYS accompanied by seizures, for me at least. If this is what you're going through when you try to stop drinking, I would recommend a medical detox, if at all possible. It's also possible to slowly taper down your alcohol consumption on your own - I recently did this myself. But it took me two and a half weeks, with some backslides along the way, and was very difficult to get through. I've done medical detoxes as well and it's much easier. Please take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help.

Londoner - Try your best not to give in to that part of your brain trying to trick you. Byrdie is right, as I'm sure you already know. Staying quit is so much easier than having to quit all over again. Keep checking in with us.

lifechange - Welcome back! You're definitely not stupid or "one of the sorry few" who never get it. I'm glad you refuse to believe that! Falling, then getting back up, is part of the nature of this beast. I personally don't believe that those "sorry few" even exist. We all have within us the ability to overcome this addiction, so long as we never give up. It's hard, a real struggle at times, but always possible. So find your branch and cozy on in.

I really need to check in here right now and reaffirm my goals. We're almost at the hotel after a veeery long drive. My husband is sick and planning on going to bed as soon as we check in. I started toying with the idea of sneaking down to the hotel bar as soon as he's asleep. I think I'll just grab some dinner and quietly watch tv in the room instead. I WILL NOT give in.

[available]

Newbies Nest

London, you must do what you think is right but please do everything in your power not to give into al. Read back on how down and depressed you were when drinking. I am worried for you but only you can make the decision on whether to go or not. Maybe post on here if you feel the need for a drink. I really hope you stick to your quit.

Hi Quest and welcome